Dirty Secrets (The Heights #1)

Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

RAVEN

O nce Beckett, Cruz, and Drake arrived, the guys set to work boarding the window, deciding to board the last remaining one out the front to try and save it from future damage.

Beckett and I talked in the kitchen so I could properly explain everything to her, a scowl on her face.

“Who the fuck would even be shooting at you guys? Do you think their target is you or Lopez?”

“We’re trying to figure that out,” I sighed, resting my elbows on the table. “Neither of us have been attacked on our own, so we can’t tell who the actual target is. If it’s me, then it’s possibly someone trying to snatch me to sell in the skin trade. There’s no other reason for someone to come after me. Unless my dad made a dodgy deal.”

“If it was the skin trade, they wouldn't be doing drive-bys. They’d be trying to steal you out your bedroom window or take you off the street. You’re no use to them if you’re dead. Unless it’s for the black market and they’re trying to harvest your organs,” she offered casually, making my skin crawl.

“Should I be more worried then?”

“My money’s on Lopez being the target. He’s fucked over a lot of people. For all we know, the fucking Demons have been resurrected for a third time and it’s his family after him,” she scoffed, leaning back in her chair to watch me. “Do you know if he has any family left?”

“The only family I know about are the ones you guys killed. If Zavier has anyone out there, he would’ve been more likely to tell you than me.”

“Don’t be jealous,” she teased, her eyes flicking behind me just as arms draped around my shoulders.

“Raven has nothing to be jealous of. You come second to her, no offense,” Zavier chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “I don’t have any secret family members hidden, no. Maybe we should get Cruz to look into the dead ones though to make sure none left skeletons in their closets.”

“Your luck, there’s random kids everywhere that he never knew about. Who knows if your brother or cousin managed to knock someone up on the side, let alone your father,” Beckett snorted, and I cringed at the thought.

“What happens if there are some of his family still alive?”

“Then he needs to take over the Demons so he has the upper hand,” she answered like it was no big deal, and Zavier huffed.

“I already told you I’m not going to take over a fucking gang. My father ran that crew with an iron fist, so the last thing I need is to take it over. I’d only be seen as weak and end up overthrown anyway since I’d never run it like he did.”

“You guys discussed this?” I asked slowly, not sure how I felt about it. Why hadn’t he mentioned to the rest of us that Beckett was pushing him to lead a fucking crew?

As if sensing my thoughts, Zavier sat in a chair beside me and put his hand on my thigh. “I wasn’t even going to humor the idea of it. I didn’t tell you because it would’ve freaked you out over nothing. Besides, between the Reapers taking out my grandfather and the Demons over twenty years ago, and then the crews all banding together to take them out again when my father took over leading them on his vengeance mission, surely they’d be too embarrassed to try and make a comeback a third time.”

“I don’t know about that. They’re pretty fucking stupid,” Beckett muttered, but I frowned.

“Wouldn’t it be smart to claim the Demon’s crew then? So no one can rise up and use its name?”

“I don’t think you understand what that would mean for us, Rae,” Zavier replied, but Beckett cut him off before he could continue.

“I don’t see the problem. You’d run them alongside the rest of us, so you know you’d have more protection. You can bring in the Thieves when you need to and you’d be safe from ghosts of your past coming back to take over.”

“Or the ghosts from my past could try to take it back from me and use those I love against me,” Zavier said sharply, his hand tightening on my thigh. “The Demons are dead, and they need to stay that way. If they come back, we kill them again. Simple.”

“What’s this we you speak of?” she chuckled, getting to her feet. “I really think you should consider the option, Zav. The Heights doesn’t have a crew claiming territory, so it wouldn’t take much to set it up here.”

“You know better than anyone that when you have power, people try to take it from you. I don’t want that kind of target on me or my family. Drop it, Donovan,” he snapped, and she grinned as she put her hands out in front of her in surrender.

“Chill. I was just saying. I don’t see what the problem is.”

“Raven would fucking leave me. That’s the problem,” he replied, surprising me.

“Wait, what?” I asked.

“Running a crew means getting tied up in crime. You’d really be peachy if I took over the Demons and started running drugs or guns? Tying myself in with other crews and possible wars? This isn’t like how the Heights has groups of teenagers thinking they're tough. This is a literal gang, Raven. You’d be a target all the time because those I love would be my biggest weakness to the enemy. Our home would be a target, you wouldn’t feel safe here, and I know you want kids one day. I know what it’s like being a kid in that world, and it fucking sucks. I’d never want that for our kids.”

“Our kids?” I echoed, and Beckett rolled her eyes as she started walking away.

“You guys obviously need to have a conversation, and as much as I feel it could be amusing, I’ll give you some privacy.”

She went outside to join the others, and Zavier continued to eye me, his voice softening. “Yes, our kids. Yours, mine, and Logan’s. We’ll have a family to think about one day, and I don’t want a target on their heads. You can’t avoid war in that world, someone will always come after the money and power. You think the shit I’ve been involved with in the past was bad? It would be ten times worse if I was leading a crew. I don’t want my name attached to the Demons anymore than it already is. That crew died with my father, and it needs to stay that way. My only priority is you, understand?”

I nodded, a little baffled by the entire conversation. “You really don’t want to do it?”

“No, I don’t. I ran from the Demons for years, Rae. I don’t want to be tied to them. All I want is the white picket fence and a family with you,” he said sincerely, taking my hand and lifting it to his mouth to kiss my knuckles. “One day, I’ll buy us a nice house out of the Heights and you won’t want for anything.”

I smiled, hoping it looked convincing. The thought of leaving this house made me feel physically sick. Every memory of my brother was here, and despite all the bad memories, I couldn’t leave the good ones behind.

What if his spirit was trapped in here or something?

“Zav—” I started, but was cut off as the front door slammed open and Reid appeared in the kitchen doorway, running his eyes over Zavier and letting out a breath.

“You good?”

Zavier released my hand and nodded, standing. “Yeah, we’re fine.”

Once Reid knew the guys were fine, he turned to me. “Are you okay?”

“Zavier told you—” He cut me off.

“I don’t care if he told me. I want to see for myself,” he snapped, grabbing my wrist and pulling me to my feet. “Let me look.”

“Reid—”

“Let me,” he begged, my argument dying in my throat. He looked really freaked out.

“Okay,” I replied, waving Zavier off as Reid started tugging me towards the hallway. I could handle Reid just fine without help.

Once shut in his bedroom, he motioned to me. “Strip.”

“Excuse me?” I asked slowly, not understanding what he was doing.

“Clothes off. What if a stray bullet hit you? You might be in shock and not know,” he said seriously, worrying me a little as he grabbed my shirt to pull it over my head.

“Reid, I’m okay,” I said carefully, not fighting him as he tugged at my sweats next.

“You might not be,” he said as he started running his hands over me as if his eyes weren’t seeing hidden damage. I wasn’t even sure if he was in the damn room with me, or if he was stuck elsewhere. It wasn’t like I was covered in blood or anything, but he was acting like it.

I lifted my hands to his face, forcing him to look at me. “Reid. I’m okay. Look at me.”

“They shot you,” he said, confusion replacing the panic.

“No, they didn’t,” I answered, realizing he was shaking slightly. “Hey, everyone’s safe. Did you have flashbacks or a bad dream? No one was shot.”

“Fuck,” he breathed out, his arms sliding around me to pull me in for a hug as he finally started to calm down. I let him, hugging him back and not letting go.

The door creaked open and Logan poked his head in, concern on his face. “Everything okay?”

“You sure you’re not hurt?” Reid asked him instead, releasing me to grab Logan’s shirt to lift it out of the way, inspecting his stomach and chest.

“No one was hurt,” Logan replied with a frown, not seeming to mind as Reid turned him around to inspect his back. “Bro, if you wanted to cop a feel, you could’ve just asked.”

Reid ignored him, and despite being calmer now, he was obviously still in his head a little as he reached for the button on Logan’s jeans and unzipped them.

Kicking off his pants without complaint, Logan held his arms out and slowly spun around. “See? No damage.”

“Good,” Reid mumbled under his breath, still running his eyes over Logan, who removed his shirt properly and handed it to me. As if remembering I was there, Reid turned and winced when he saw me standing there in my underwear and bra. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I said with a small smile, moving to pull Logan’s shirt over my head, but Reid stopped me. “Reid?”

He was staring at me, and Logan gave me the side-eye. “Give him a second. He’s just being a perv. Not that he deserves to look after being a prick earlier.”

Reid’s eyes met mine, his voice quiet. “I’m really sorry for what I said.”

I stepped back when he tried to reach for me, shaking my head. “I know, but I’m still mad at you.”

I tried a second time to pull Logan’s shirt over my head, but Reid stopped me again. “Please, Rae.”

Logan huffed, snatching his shirt from my hands and shoving it over my head. “Let her get dressed, dude. Deal with this shit later. Go back to Riley’s and get some sleep.”

“Can I just stay here? I’m supposed to protect you guys, and I can’t do that from Ashburn Valley,” he argued, and to save a fight, I nodded.

“Sure. You’re not crashing with me though.”

“I can sleep on the floor.”

“No, Reid. You stay in here,” I scowled, thankful when he finally sighed in defeat and sat on the edge of his bed.

“Good night,” Logan said without waiting for a response, grabbing our clothes and steering me out the door.

Beckett and Cruz gave us amused looks from the end of the hallway as we slipped into my room, Logan staying by the door. “You get ready for bed. I’ll be back in a minute.”

I climbed straight into bed and was asleep before Logan even came back.

Logan

“You and Reid didn’t fuck her right if we didn’t hear her,” Beckett joked as I walked into the living room in my boxers, flipping her off.

“Reid freaked out and wanted to check us for damage. You’d know if we’d railed Rae, trust me,” I replied, turning to Zavier. “Reid’s staying in his room. Raven’s okay with it.”

“Tell Riley not to expect him back then,” Zavier said, motioning to Beckett. “Donovan’s going to put some feelers out to try and find out what these pricks want with me or Rae, and Cruz will try to dig up anything about my family to make sure they’re all dead.”

Drake put his hand up, a serious look on his face. “I’d like to ask right now that if anyone is alive, you don’t bring them to our compound to torture. Stone and Knox will riot if you burn another person alive there. I swear I can still smell the last one you dealt with, and it’s been a little over a year.”

“Happy burned body-versary,” Cruz deadpanned, making Beckett snicker.

“Maybe it should become a tradition?”

“Maybe it’s time you found your own place to burn bodies,” Cruz suggested bluntly.

“Don’t fight. Raven’s gone to bed,” I sighed, moving towards the kitchen to grab my phone from the counter, finding a message from Riley.

Riley: Hey, pussy pal. Is the leader of the pussy palace okay? He flipped out and left.

Logan: He’s okay now. He’s staying here tonight after all, so don’t wait up for him.

Riley: For what it’s worth, he’s really upset about what he said to you and Raven. He was beating himself up about it the moment he walked through my door.

Logan: He told you about it?

My stomach twisted at the thought of Riley and Luna knowing about my mom, but I relaxed when she replied.

Riley: Not exact details. Just that he threw your shitty parents in your face and explained what he’d said to Raven. He’s a prick, I told him so, and he’s genuinely sorry. You guys need to talk it out. Thanks for letting me know he’s okay.

Logan: All good. Night, pussy pal.

She didn’t reply, so I took my phone back to Raven’s room, leaving Zavier to deal with our guests, and finding Raven already asleep.

I felt like a creep as I watched her silently for a few minutes before slipping into bed, putting my phone on the charger and switching off the lamp.

Beckett’s mustang left soon after that, and I assumed the guys left too once Zavier crept into bed to avoid waking up Raven.

“Reid’s still awake,” Zavier mumbled once he was settled.

“He’ll probably stay awake all night,” I answered, Raven’s soft voice reaching my ears.

“I should’ve let him crash in here.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. He fucked up, baby. That’s on him,” I stated, tightening my hold on her and kissing her shoulder. “Go back to sleep, he’ll be fine.”

I wasn’t sure who fell asleep first, but thankfully, I didn’t wake up until morning.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that Reid was asleep on the floor. I had no idea when he’d snuck in, and that concerned me slightly since he could’ve been anyone.

I glanced over my shoulder to find Raven pressed tightly against my back, Zavier nowhere in sight.

A whimper left Raven and her arms tightened more, Reid’s eyes flying open from the sound as if she’d screamed. Her breathing turned rapid, and I pried her arm off me so I could roll over.

“Rae? Wake up,” I murmured, running my hand up the back of her shirt to draw circles on her skin. “Rae.”

A panicked scream left her as she started trying to push me back, then her eyes opened and some of the fear left her. “Logan?”

“It was just a bad dream,” I promised, drawing her closer and tucking her head under my chin.

Zavier appeared in the doorway, scanning the room for danger. “Everything okay?”

“Bad dream,” Reid yawned as he sat up, Raven’s body tensing in my hold from the sound of his voice.

Zavier leaned over me, running his fingers through Raven’s hair and not giving a single fuck about Reid witnessing it. “Hey, made you pancakes.”

“Did you make me pancakes too?” I asked with fake outrage, and he smirked down at me.

“I might have. Suck my dick and I’ll give them to you.”

“Ugh, the size of your cock intimidates me. I won’t be able to chew breakfast afterwards,” I complained, a small huff of laughter leaving Raven as she sat up.

“Better be quick or I’ll eat your pancakes,” she teased, swinging a leg over me to climb out of bed, and it was hard to let her go without hauling her back in.

Once she was gone, Reid glanced up at Zavier suspiciously. “What was that all about?”

“What? You want breakfast? You can choke on me too,” Zavier snorted, but Reid scowled.

“No. You’re acting weird around Raven.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You were toying with her hair and made her breakfast.”

“Dude, I always cook for her and touch her hair. You’re being paranoid.”

Reid got to his feet and left the room, and Zavier gave me a look. “Maybe you should choke on my dick to throw him off the trail.”

I snickered as I got out of bed, playfully shoving him. “You’re not my type, baby cakes.”

“Take one for the team, bro,” he grinned, following me towards the kitchen to find Reid sitting beside Raven, his hand on her thigh as they spoke in hushed voices. I halted, stopping Zavier from interrupting them as I backed up a little, only speaking once we were in my room.

“Give them a minute.”

“You’re being way too nice to him,” Zavier grumbled, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms.

“They need to sort their shit out.”

“You’re just feeling guilty for lying to him.”

“Aren’t you?” I asked, grabbing some sweats out of my drawer and tugging them on.

“A little, but he kind of brought it on himself. If he wasn’t a psycho about her, we wouldn’t have to keep it from him.”

“I don’t know how I’d act if it was the other way around and I found out he’d been sleeping with her,” I admitted, amusement flashing across his face.

“You’d be pissed but you’d get over it.”

“I’d be jealous,” I corrected.

“The difference is, you’d be willing to share her with Reid. Would he share her with you?” he asked curiously, sitting on the edge of my bed to get comfortable.

“I don’t think he would,” I sighed, sitting beside him. “Reid’s always been possessive of her, but he also doesn’t want to make a move because of Josh.”

“He needs to let Josh go,” he said quietly, my heart hurting at the thought. “I know Josh was family, but he’s gone. I don’t mean to sound like an asshole, but loyalty to a ghost is stupid.”

“I know. You didn’t see them together, man. They had a friendship that nothing could break.”

Footsteps sounded in the hallway, and we shut up just as Raven appeared. “Are you guys coming for breakfast?”

“Yeah. We just wanted to give you two a minute since you were talking,” I answered, getting to my feet and stretching, loving how her eyes trailed over my chest and abs.

“He’s going to head into Ashburn to try and make some money. Will one of you go with him?” she asked, chewing on her lip nervously. Despite being pissed at him, she still wanted to make sure he was safe.

“Yeah, baby. I’ll go with him,” I smiled. “It’s probably a good idea so me and him can talk.” Relief crossed her face and I quickly gave her a reassuring kiss. “You and Zav can hang out for a while. Maybe check out the community center? Rory would probably appreciate some feedback on it. She’s working her ass off to improve things around here.”

I was a little surprised that the Donovans were investing so much money here, but I wasn’t going to complain. Between building the community center, updating the skatepark, and helping out with donations to Hawthorne Heights High, she was making changes that no one had wanted to before.

Would it turn the Heights around? No, but even something as simple as offering free condoms from the community center could’ve stopped at least one kid from getting knocked up.

Raven’s eyes slid to Zavier and he nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Maybe we could give her some input? We could plan a meeting with her to discuss it.”

“I’d like that,” she replied, looking back at me. “You two will be fine on your own? You won’t kill each other?”

“Maybe we just need to throw some hands to get over it,” I shrugged, hearing her sigh behind me as they followed.

“I wish you’d save your fighting for the Pit.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll save some energy for Masterson,” I chuckled, entering the kitchen and grabbing a plate of pancakes, sitting opposite Reid at the table. “You and me today, asshole.”

Reid frowned, glancing at Raven before returning his eyes to mine. “What?”

“There’s crazy people out there, dude. Buddy system,” I informed him as I cut a piece of pancake and popped it into my mouth. It was almost a shame I was straight because Zavier would’ve made me a damn good husband with his cooking. “We should talk anyway.”

“We should,” he said slowly, watching me like I’d grown two heads.

I needed to convince Reid to let down his walls for Raven, but I knew it was going to be easier said than done. The chances of him breaking his promise to Josh was slim to none, but I had to try.

Most people would’ve thought I was crazy for trying to get him to be with her, especially after the way he’d handled things lately. They needed each other, and I wanted him to realize it before it was too late.

If he didn’t, it would most likely destroy their friendship, taking mine and Zavier’s from him too. I loved Reid, he was family, but there was only so much pig-headed shit I’d tolerate before beating him to a pulp and giving up on trying to make him see sense.