Dirty Secrets (The Heights #1)

Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

RAVEN

I woke to the sound of beeping, blinking against the dim light to try and focus.

“Take it easy, you hit your head,” Zavier murmured, reaching for me but pausing when I pulled back to avoid his hand. “Rae?”

I ignored the burning pain through my body as I sat up, the room coming into focus finally as I woke up properly. “Don’t touch me.”

My mind was a little foggy, but I remembered being hit by a car and the driver saying he’d been sent by some guy for Zavier. He’d promised he was done with that shit, but obviously not if he was selling drugs for some asshole who was powerful enough to hire hitmen or whatever they were.

“Are you thirsty?” he asked, seeming confused when I scoffed.

“Thirsty? This is your fucking fault, asshole. Why are you even in here?”

“Of course I’m in here. You got hurt.”

“Because of you!” I choked out, wincing as my ribs ached. “You promised me you’d stopped.”

“I did stop. I have no idea who they were talking about,” he assured me. “I’ve only worked for Ander in the past year. He sure as fuck wouldn’t send people after me, and there’s no way he would’ve allowed someone to hurt you.”

“Fuck Ander,” I said through tears, swatting his hand away as he tried to touch me again. “Stop lying to me!”

“I’m not,” he said in a panic. “Raven, I haven’t done a dodgy job since Ander left town. No rich prick parties, no drug deals, nothing. You have my word.”

“Your word doesn’t mean shit. Someone came after you. You almost ended up dead right in front of me, and I could’ve died too!” I sobbed as the door opened and a doctor stepped in, giving me a look of pity.

“Raven Pierce? I have some good news and some bad news.”

“What’s the good news?” Zavier asked, and I glared at him.

“None of your business. You need to leave.”

Hurt flashed in his eyes, but he gave me a pleading look. “Please, I just want to know that you’re okay, then I’ll go.”

The doctor looked at me, waiting for me to ask them to continue before sighing. “The good news is nothing’s broken. You’ll have some nasty bruising and might struggle to get around for a week or two until the aches and pains go away, but it’s a quick recovery. You did have a gash on your head from cracking it against the pavement, but it was glued together, and so far there’s no alarming swelling on the brain. You have a concussion though, and will need to remain in here under observation until we clear you to go home.”

“If a concussion is all I got out of that, I’m buying a lottery ticket,” I joked, knowing something else was wrong from the way she looked at me. “That wasn’t all of it? If that was the good news, what’s the bad news?”

She held my gaze for a second before answering. “Were you aware that you were pregnant, Miss Pierce?”

My throat went tight, my voice wavering. “I’m pregnant?”

The pity only grew in her eyes as she scanned her paperwork. “Unfortunately, when you were brought in, you had some vaginal bleeding. We drew blood and checked your hormone levels, which indicated a miscarriage. You were five weeks pregnant. When was your last period?”

“I— I don’t know. I was due for it but then kind of forgot about it,” I said as I stumbled over words, almost feeling like I was outside my body watching this trainwreck hit the station. “It might still be okay, right? Bleeding doesn’t always mean a miscarriage.”

As if right on cue, the ache in my lower stomach got a little worse and I winced, Zavier instantly reaching for my hand. My emotions were going haywire as the doctor tried to explain things to me, but all I was hearing was that I’d gotten knocked up and lost the baby.

Zavier was talking to me, but I couldn’t hear him, and when he started rubbing his hand against my back, uncontrollable sobs left me.

How could I have been so stupid?

The doctor excused herself to give us some privacy, and I fought to get Zavier’s touch from my skin as despair and anger hit me at once.

“Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself,” Zavier said carefully, only making me struggle more.

“Let me go!”

“Raven—”

“Fuck you,” I spat, thankful when he let go and gave me some space. “You can go home, get your shit, and fucking go, Zavier. I don’t believe for a second that you’re not involved with whatever the fuck happened today, and I won’t watch someone else I love get gunned down over drugs.”

“You’re kicking me out?” he asked with surprise, his voice cracking. “Raven, please?—”

He was cut off as Logan and Reid tore into the room like their asses were on fire, Logan sitting on the edge of the bed as he cupped my cheek.

“Are you okay? What’s broken? Beckett said you got run down.”

I shook my head, words not forming as he studied me. The concern in his eyes stabbed me in the chest, and I leaned into him as I kept crying.

“What the fuck happened?” Reid demanded, turning his attention to Zavier. “That asshole ran you both down? Beckett said they told you a name, but you didn’t tell her.”

“Mr. Ricci,” Zavier said absently, and I could feel his eyes on me. “I don’t know who the hell he is, but he’s dead when I get my fucking hands on him.”

A bitter laugh left me as I turned to him, beyond caring about looking like a mess. “Good idea, go and start a war with someone who has hitmen on payroll.”

“They’re terrible hitmen if I could take them both down after they hit us with their car and shot me,” he muttered, rage washing through me.

“Start a war, fucking go for it, but you can do it once you leave. Make sure to give them your new goddamn address too.”

“Whoa, what’s happening?” Logan asked, gently cupping my chin to draw my attention. “Talk to me.”

“I can’t talk to you,” I forced out, wiping my eyes and wishing the tears would stop falling.

“Why not? You can always talk to me.” My lip trembled as he took my face in his hands, his voice barely there. “Rae, I’ve got you. Promise.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, confusion flashing in his eyes.

“For what?”

I slid my eyes to Reid, not wanting him to find out about everything like this, but knowing I couldn’t keep it to myself. Logan deserved to know, but I knew the worry on Reid’s face would turn to hurt the second he found out that we’d kept our relationship from him.

I turned back to Logan, trying to speak as my throat went tight, choking on the words as they left my mouth. “I had a miscarriage.”

Logan’s face practically lost all color as he stared at me. “You were pregnant? Did you know?”

I shook my head and sobbed loudly, a curse leaving him as he shuffled closer and turned my face into his chest to let me cry it out.

“You were pregnant?” Reid parroted, and I could hear the anger lining his tone. “Some asshole knocked you up? Who the fuck have you been sleeping with?”

I cried harder, repeating that I was sorry as Logan tried to comfort me.

“It’s not your fault,” Logan said softly, and Reid scoffed.

“She shouldn’t have let someone in her pants in the first place. She knows how stupid it is to have sex without protection. Raven, tell me who he is because I’m going to fucking kill him. How long have you been seeing him?”

“Dude, not now,” Zavier warned, but Reid was close to losing it.

“She fucked some idiot raw, what did she expect? A fucking TV? How stupid can you be, Raven? How did that fucker convince you to sleep with him without protection? You’re not even on birth control!” he snapped.

“Stop fucking yelling at her. It’s my fault. I knew better,” Logan growled, and you could’ve heard a pin drop in the moments after.

“You slept with her?” Reid finally asked, and I knew this was just the calm before the storm.

“We’re dating.”

“Since fucking when?” Reid barked, and I took a peek at him to see just how hurt he was as he looked at Zavier. “Why doesn’t this information seem to surprise you too?”

Zavier eyed me for a moment before leaning forward in his chair. “I’m dating her too.”

“You mean to tell me that the two people I trusted most with her have been spit-roasting her under my roof?!” Reid exploded. “How do you know you didn’t knock her up?!”

“For starters, I wouldn’t forget a condom,” Zavier grunted as he shot Logan a dirty look. “But I also haven’t slept with her.”

“I pulled out,” Logan muttered under his breath, and that seemed to be the breaking point for Reid because he suddenly stalked closer and hauled Logan off the bed, slamming his fist into his face.

“Guys, stop!” I begged as they ended up on the floor, throwing fists at each other. Zavier stood to move closer to me, and I pointed to them. “Stop them!”

“Babe—”

“Don’t fucking babe me. I meant what I said, Zavier. You can pack your shit and go. I never want to see you again,” I snapped, trying to hit the asshole as he tried to sit on the edge of my bed. “Leave! I fucking hate you!”

“Please, can we talk about this later?” he asked, Logan and Reid knocking things over as they continued fighting.

I ignored Zavier, turning my screaming to the other guys. “You can get the fuck out too!” I was a mess, tears streaming down my face and my body aching as I tried to stop my voice from shaking. “Logan! Reid! Stop it!”

My entire goddamn world was falling down around me, and all they cared about was their pissing contest. Logan’s was self- defense, I couldn’t really fault him for that, and I was hoping security made Zavier and Reid leave so Logan and I could talk alone.

Logan managed to shove Reid off him, putting some distance between them.

“Don’t act so surprised that someone would want to be with her! Just because you’re too stubborn to make a move, doesn’t mean the rest of the world is too. You can’t keep her locked away forever, you idiot. Maybe if you weren’t such a prick, she would've gone to you instead.”

“She’s off limits!”

“Says who? You? She’s a grown ass woman, Reid. I know you’ve noticed,” Logan sneered. “Someone was eventually going to fuck her, so it might as well have been me.”

“That wasn’t up to you!”

“You can’t own a pussy. You wouldn’t fuck her because of Josh, so stop acting hurt over the fact that she wanted someone other than you! She was literally begging for your dick, and you kept turning her down. For your information, that’s some of the best pussy you ever could’ve had, and you lost it. She’s mine. End of discussion.”

Hurt flickered through me as they kept arguing like I was just one of their hookups, the doubt creeping in.

Had I just been a goal for Logan after all? Surely, I meant more to him than that.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Beckett snapped, making me realize I’d zoned out while the guys kept fighting. Maddox and Jett were with her, thankfully not paying me any attention as I just cried like a baby from the bed. Maddox got between Reid and Logan easily, starting to drag them out when I spoke, halting them.

“Take Zavier with you. All three of you can be packed and gone before I get home.”

Logan swatted Maddox’s grip away, stepping towards me. “I’m sorry. He just?—”

“Tick me off your bucket list and go,” I said as I cut him off, wiping my eyes. “You want to tell Reid all about the favor you did me by taking my virginity? Tell him how fucking good it felt for you while you’re at it. What did he miss out on?”

“What? It’s not like that,” he said quietly, regret in his voice. “I didn’t mean it was like a pity fuck or a competition, if that’s what you think. You know I love you.”

I scoffed, trying to keep my voice firm. “Do I? Why would I know that? You love pussy, Logan. That’s it. You might have loved my pussy more than others, but you don’t love me.”

“I do. More than anything. You’re the most important person in the world to me.”

“Pissing contest over,” I said with defeat, eyeing Reid, who was still standing back beside Maddox. “Virginity gone. Logan wins. Now leave and find somewhere else to live.”

“You weren’t a competition,” Reid said, sounding calmer than he had since he’d walked in. “If you want to be left alone?—”

“I want you all out of my fucking house!” I bit out, hating it when angry tears leaked. “Zavier has some Mr. Ricci dude after him for drug dealing, you’ve been an asshole for fucking months while dictating what I can or can’t do with my body as if you’re entitled to an opinion, and Logan sees me as pussy! I’m sitting in a fucking hospital bed because Zavier’s bullshit got me hit by a car, and all you and Logan can do is fight over me! I’m sick of it!”

“Don’t do this,” Logan said quietly as Rory appeared in the doorway with Diesel and one of her other men, Caden.

“I mean it. Get out of my house and stay the hell away from me,” I said as my voice broke, and despite knowing it was the right thing to do, watching all three of my best friends walk out of that room had me breaking down all over again.

“Get over there,” Maddox muttered on his way out, and Beckett scoffed.

“She knows I’m not into cryers. You’re fine, right, Raven? You just need a minute.”

“For God’s sake. You’re too much like Skeet,” Rory muttered as she walked over and sat on the edge of my bed to put an arm around me. The unexpected comfort from her was the cherry on the top of my emotional breakdown ice cream, and I let her rock me as I closed my eyes and pretended that she was my mom just for a while until I had no more tears left.

Logan

“I can’t fucking leave her here alone. She needs me,” I argued as Maddox practically dragged me through the hospital. Reid wasn’t fighting him, walking silently alongside Maddox’s other side as he stared at the ground ahead.

“If you think you have a choice, you’re an idiot,” Maddox grunted, his grip on my arm tightening. “What the hell is wrong with you guys? You couldn’t play nice in there then beat each other up outside later like normal people?”

“He started swinging at me! I wasn’t going to?—”

“Shut up, Logan,” Reid said flatly, finally lifting his eyes to mine as Maddox walked us out the front entrance and out into the parking lot.

“Why should I shut up? You just started throwing hands at me in Raven’s fucking hospital room and got us kicked out,” I spat, motioning to Zavier, who limped around me to keep walking ahead. “Tell him, Lopez. This is his fault.”

“It’s your fault too,” Zavier said without turning around, his voice flat. “You just spoke about her like she was some whore you picked up. That’s why she kicked you out too.”

He was lucky I didn't punch him.

“Excuse me?”

He stopped walking and turned to face me, his eyes narrowed. “You heard me. The girl you love is hurting right now. Instead of comforting her and grieving the loss of your baby together, you decided it was better to try and squash Reid’s feelings and make a point that you won her like it was some kind of competition. You weren’t in there when the doctor told her she’d been pregnant, Logan. I’ve never seen something crush her so badly before, and all she needed was you.”

“Do they know how far along she was?” Reid asked, speaking to Zavier.

“Five weeks.”

My chest ached, and I rubbed the palm of my hand over it to try and ease it.

Reid closed his eyes, seeming to take a few breaths before opening them and speaking again. “They’re sure she miscarried?”

“She had vaginal bleeding when they brought her in, which made them run some blood tests to check her hormone levels. She lost the baby, Reid. The doctor wouldn’t have said so unless they were sure,” Zavier said quietly, his shoulders drooping. “It’s my fault, and I don’t understand how. The guys were sent after me by a man I don’t even know. I’d tell you if I’d gotten involved with anything, I swear.”

“Sorry that I don’t particularly believe you right now,” Reid grunted, sliding his gaze to mine. “You have to be the biggest piece of shit on the planet. Why the fuck would you risk having unprotected sex when she’s not even on birth control? How long did it take for you to convince her to sleep with you, huh? I bet you’ve been sweet talking your way into her pants for ages, and I was too dumb to notice.”

I shook Maddox off and sat on the bench close by, putting my face in my hands. “It’s complicated.”

“Hardly.”

“She approached me to take her virginity. You kept rejecting her, and when she went to ask Zavier to do it, he hurt her feelings or something,” I answered, making Zavier frown.

“She didn’t ask me to sleep with her. If she straight out asked me to be her first, there was no way I would’ve turned her down.”

Reid glared at him, but I shrugged. “I don’t know, man. She just said you’d both made it clear that you weren’t interested, and since I was her best friend, she figured she could trust me with it. Definitely hurt my feelings a little when she admitted Zavier was her first choice, but whatever.”

“When did you start dating then?” Reid growled, trying to contain his frustration so he could get answers.

“I took her virginity the day after she got drunk and tried to convince you to fuck her. It’s why she wanted to tag walls alone that morning, and why I panicked a little when she left. She was freaking out about the thought of me jumping straight into bed with someone else. I thought I’d hurt her or something, since she hadn’t told me she was going anywhere,” I sighed, looking over at him. “I fucked her against the bathroom wall after her first time, and I was inside her before remembering a condom. We both figured we could just?—”

“I don’t want to know what she thought. She doesn’t know any better, but you do,” he bit out, and Maddox let out an annoyed huff.

“It’s obvious you guys are just going to keep fighting, so I’m heading back inside. Leave Raven alone, or Beckett will have your balls. Do yourselves a favor and clear your shit out of the house and find somewhere else to stay for a while.”

“I’m not leaving the fucking house,” Reid said sharply, and Maddox chuckled.

“You don’t get a say in the matter. You don’t think Mom will drag you out? Raven needs space and some time to heal. You’re all pricks, and she’s mad right now. Sticking around will only dig your hole deeper, trust me.” He dropped his eyes to mine, shaking his head. “She really won’t want to see you any time soon.”

I swallowed, the pain in my chest only getting worse. “How the fuck do I fix it?”

“I don’t know, man. I’m sure there’s a card you can buy her that says something like I’m sorry for knocking you up and then bragging about the positions we did while you were grieving the loss of the baby. I bet it happens to lots of people, so chin up.”

“You’re a sarcastic asshole.”

“I might be, but I’d never fucking hurt Beckett in the way you just hurt Raven,” he said in a low voice, heading back towards the hospital entrance while speaking over his shoulder. “I mean it. Go. If Beck tells me to come back down and shoot you guys, I will. What my baby wants, my baby gets.”

“Yeah. Happy sister, happy mister, and all that,” I deadpanned, earning a warning look as he vanished into the building.

Pain radiated in my face as Reid slammed his fist into my cheek, his voice tight. “So, you’re not actually with Raven, you’ve just been taking advantage of her?”

I got to my feet, my chest bumping against his as I got in his face. “No. We made a deal to just be friends who happened to sleep together once, then we wanted to keep going and see where it went. She wanted to learn things, and I didn’t want to stop sleeping with her. After a few days, we decided to label it as a relationship because we didn’t want it to stop.”

“How does Zavier fit into this? He just got to spectate ?” he seethed, and Zavier rolled his eyes as he shifted his weight off his leg. Blood soaked the thigh of his pants from the bullet he’d taken, but Beckett had said he’d been seen already, so I knew he was okay.

“Unlike Logan, I’m not going to discuss my sex life with Raven with you.”

“You said you didn’t sleep with her!”

“I haven’t,” he answered, pulling his phone from his pocket to check his texts. “Cruz is coming to get me. I’ll grab my things from the house then stay at the Thieves' compound for a while.”

“You’re serious?” I asked slowly, but Reid made a sound of disgust.

“Good. Whatever trouble you got yourself in, keep it the fuck away from Raven.”

I wanted to blame Zavier so badly for the attack, and I was definitely still mad at him about it, but I could tell he’d been blindsided by it. The thought of him going off alone when people were after him made me feel sick.

I’d lost Raven, and right now, I couldn’t lose Zavier too.

“Hey,” I murmured, Zavier’s eyes meeting mine. “Stay in touch so I know you’re okay.”

Relief filled his face as he blew out a breath, nodding. “I will. If Raven calms down and talks to you, can you update me on how she’s doing?”

“I can do that.”

“I’m not telling you shit,” Reid stated as he crossed his arms. “You pricks kept secrets from me, so why the fuck should I let you know anything?”

“You need to stop and ask yourself why you were kept in the dark. We didn’t do it to hurt you. Raven actually planned on talking to you about it today because she’s been feeling guilty over it,” I mumbled, giving him an annoyed glance. “She can’t talk to you about anything without you flipping the fuck out, dude. She just wanted to enjoy the peace before we told you and it turned into a war in the damn kitchen.”

“We agreed?—”

“We made a rule as teenagers. You can stick to your rules if you want, but I’m not prepared to watch her walk away from me to marry someone else,” I grunted, a sigh leaving me. “Well, that’s probably ruined now.”

Zavier approached and knelt in front of me with a wince as his thigh must have caused him pain, grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze. “Are you okay? It was your baby, man. You’re allowed to grieve too.”

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut to stop the building tears from his unexpected question.

He didn’t speak, he simply wrapped his arms around me in a hug, almost making me lose the battle with my emotions. This definitely would’ve been hurting his leg, but he didn’t complain.

I leaned into him, taking a second to get my shit together, then I pulled back to look at Reid.

“I can admit I fucked up by not being careful, but despite what you believe, I did nothing wrong by being with her. I was kind of hoping that we could tell you about it and maybe you and Raven could’ve figured your feelings out for each other too, but it’s obvious you don’t give a shit about her feelings for you. You can’t push her away then try to beg her for more when you’re having a bad day and want to find comfort in her.”

“She—” I didn’t let him finish.

“She loves you, Reid. All she wanted was for you to stop being Josh’s friend, and just be hers instead. I will always put her first, so will Zavier. But you? You put her second to Josh every time. The fact that she couldn’t tell you about us is on you.”

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice strained.

“I wanted to enjoy spending time with her before you ruined it,” I said honestly, motioning to Zavier, who was now a few feet away texting. “Rae talked to Lopez about seeing someone and didn’t tell him it was me. He handled it. He only found out about it being me because he’s a selfish prick and didn’t give a shit about her secret boyfriend and kissed her. She freaked out when I walked in and saw them.”

Reid’s fists clenched by his sides at the mental image, and when he grabbed my shirt to haul me to my feet, I let him. He glared at me in silence for a second, before shoving me away again, making me trip and land on my ass.

He knew he was in the wrong.

“Fuck you, Logan,” he bit out as he stalked towards his Challenger and climbed in, peeling out of the parking lot like his ass was on fire.

“Now what?” Zavier muttered as he offered me a hand up. I accepted it, getting to my feet and dusting my pants off.

“Now, we go home. I think you staying at the compound is a good idea. Their security is top notch. We don’t know who this prick is that’s after you, but I doubt that was the last of their attempts to get to you. I’m not leaving the house. Hopefully, Raven will talk to me when she gets sent home,” I said, just as Cruz’s car pulled up beside us. He rolled the window down, a grim look on his face.

“Is she okay?” he asked, and it made me feel better to know that so many people cared about Raven. We’d never had anyone care for us before.

“No,” I mumbled, pulling my keys from my pocket. “Any news on the attackers?”

“We’ve identified one of them. Still trying to figure out his connections though.”

“Who is he?”

“Giovanni Gallo. Thirty-seven years old, no spouse or children. Hate to say it, but whoever sent him must be a major player in the underground,” Cruz replied as he leaned his arm on the open window.

“What makes you say that?” Zavier frowned, limping towards the passenger seat.

Cruz was quiet for a moment, seeming to weigh up his words before answering. “Giovanni is from Italy. Small fish don’t just send people that far unless they’re a big deal. You’ve pissed off someone important.”

“You know people in Italy?” I asked Zavier dryly, and he shook his head.

“No. I swear. I spent years running from the Demons, then only did jobs through Ander.”

“Lavaro fucked you, bro,” Cruz muttered, sympathy in his tone. “He had to know who he was working with, and his vanishing act is convenient timing. He disappears, and within a few months thugs come after you? I don’t think that’s a coincidence.”

I could tell Zavier wanted to defend Ander, but his argument died before it came out. Even he had to admit it looked bad.

“I’ll meet you at the house, okay?” I sighed, starting to walk towards my car, already trying to think of a way to make Raven forgive me when she got home.

I just had to prove to her that my feelings for her were genuine.