Divided Road (The Road to Rocktoberfest 2024)

Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The Cotton Pub stood across the road from the vineyard. On the outside, the building looked like a typical small-town establishment, although more on the rural side with a decent-sized field behind it, a couple of Pohutukawa on either side and a huge oak tree in the middle of the carpark.

Jared paused by the front door to read the spiel under the name. The building was old and originally opened at the same time as Frays.

“Lots of history around here.” Owen slipped his hand into Jared’s. “I like that.”

“So do I.” Jared had taken a few music history papers as part of his degree. “I bet there are a few stories about this and Frays.”

“Getting inspiration for new lyrics?” Owen teased.

“Maybe.” Jared wasn’t going to admit to anything yet, although it would be kind of cool to write something inspired by their time at the festival, or something about the surrounding area. “I’d like to write something that would fit alongside our beach sunset. Bookends, old and new, or something like that.”

Owen replied with a kiss to Jared’s cheek. “I see a few writing sessions in our future. I think that’s a great idea. We could play them here next year.”

“Yeah.” Jared wanted to believe there’d be a next year here for Flightless, although if Lincoln didn’t return, and Owen left to pursue his classical career, would the band continue?

They wouldn’t miss Jared, although Owen’s violin contributed to their unique sound.

Jared let go of Owen’s hand, and pushed open the pub door. He looked around for Rachel, who waved to them from a table in the corner.

Shit, how late were they?

The rest of the band was already there and had ordered their drinks. Jared hadn’t thought he and Owen had taken that long to get there, although they’d intentionally meandered, wanting to stretch out their time together before they met up with everyone.

“Sorry we’re late.” Owen glanced around the table, froze for a moment, and grinned. “Lincoln! How… what?”

“I wasn’t going to come, but Duncan talked me into it.” Lincoln indicated the empty chairs on either side of his. “I walked over. He’s coming in a moment with Mum and insisted on driving her here from the vineyard so she wouldn’t get too tired.” He stood and hugged Owen and then gestured Jared to come closer, pulling him into a hug too. “You guys were fantastic. I love the new songs you’ve written.”

“Thanks.” Jared hugged him back and then sat down next to Owen. “I didn’t see you there.” He flushed. “Well, duh, it’s a big crowd, so of course I wouldn’t have seen you.”

“Duncan’s got a few VIP seats for friends and family. We had a great view of the stage, but didn’t have to sit amongst the crowd, which was good for Mum.” Lincoln lowered his voice. “She’s putting on a good show, but this trip has taken it out of her. We’ll be staying a few days and flying back.” He paused. “Dawn and Brigit are looking after Bach between them. I’m sure she’s being spoilt rotten.”

“Thanks.” Owen chuckled. “I think it was mutual love at first sight when Bach and Brigit met. That cat already had Aunt Dawn eating out of her hand.”

“How are you really doing, Lincoln?” Kaci asked softly.

“We’re getting there.” Lincoln took a long drink of water. “It’s not easy, and…” He stopped abruptly. “You should totally come back to perform next year. That would rate as one of the band’s best performances in all the years we… since I can remember.”

Jared bit his lip and studied the menu. A cup of tea, or ideally something stronger, sounded wonderful about now, although part of him felt like bolting. Who had he been kidding? The band had made him feel welcome, yet seeing Lincoln again made him feel like an interloper. The dream had been wonderful while it lasted, and writing new songs with Owen would be a way of continuing it in part.

He’d compromise. He had to. Flightless had grown into so much more than filling in for a friend. They were going places, and he wouldn’t stand in their way.

“Need to use the bathroom,” he murmured, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Owen caught his hand. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Jared forced a smile and fled.

Thankfully the bathroom was clearly signposted and empty. He stood in front of the mirror, splashed his face with water and took a deep breath. Lincoln had helped build Flightless into what it is today.

Jared would do his bit by writing lyrics and continuing to make music with Owen. If he had to choose between that and performing, creating something beautiful with Owen would always win hands down.

Performing in front of a huge crowd made him a nervous wreck. And given today’s performance, there’d be way more of that in the band’s future.

This was probably for the best, anyway.

The door opened, out of sight of the mirror. He didn’t turn, but this time, his smile felt genuine. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ll be out in a moment.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not Owen.” Lincoln chuckled. “At least, I presume that’s who you were expecting, and I missed the memo about the specs of our friendship suddenly becoming more.”

Jared spun. “Oh fuck. Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Lincoln shrugged. “And it’s about time Owen found the right guy. I had a feeling you’d be good for each other. The songs you’re writing together are brilliant. Your feelings for each other shines through all of them.”

“I … I’m not looking to replace you.” The words tumbled out of Jared before he could stop them. “I said I’d fill in, and that’s what I’m doing. I didn’t intend to write songs for the band. It just happened.”

Lincoln looked shocked, then recovered his composure. “Hey,” he said softly. “I never thought that for a moment. You helped me and the band out, and that’s all I asked. All the rest is a bonus, something I’m really stoked about.”

“Let me know when you want to come back, and I’ll step aside.” Jared mentally kicked himself. Shit, he was making an idiot of himself bringing this up now. It wasn’t the time nor the place. “And fuck…” He brushed his wet hair out of his eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to have this conversation now. But….”

“It’s been weighing on you, yeah?” Lincoln sighed. “We’re friends, right? I trust you with Flightless, and Owen. I wouldn’t have asked you to audition otherwise. But in doing so, I’ve put you in an impossible situation.”

“I knew what I was getting into.” Jared had thought he had, but the reality had been building since he and Owen first wrote Divided Road . That song wasn’t just about Owen; it fit both of them.

“I didn’t want the band to miss this opportunity, and I couldn’t leave Mum.”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me.” Jared would have put his mum first, too, no question, if he’d been in that position. If he still had a mother to look after, he’d be there with bells on.

“Yeah, I do.” Lincoln shook his head. “I didn’t want to come to see you perform. I thought it would be too hard seeing you up there instead of me.” A smile curved his lips. “Duncan was right in pushing me. I saw you up there, and fuck it, Jared, you are Flightless. You fit, and when you and Own perform together, it’s magical.”

“You could….” Jared didn’t want to say the words, but he had to anyway. Only an arsehole would try to cling to something that wasn’t his.

“No.” Lincoln shook his head again. “I haven’t told anyone else yet, but Mum’s not getting better. The treatment’s working, but it’s only giving her a few more months at most. I’m not leaving her, and… I’ve been thinking a lot the last few months and talking things through with her and Duncan too. I need to start over. I love playing with Flightless, but I need a new path.” His mouth twitched. “You guys aren’t the only ones on a divided road.”

“I’m sorry.” Jared walked over to Lincoln and pulled him into a hug. “I know what it’s like to lose your mum.” He’d been so busy thinking about himself and his future he hadn’t thought about what Lincoln must be going through. “I’ve been a shit friend. If you need to talk, or just have some quiet company, please ask.”

“Thanks.” Lincoln leaned into the embrace, his shoulders shaking in quiet tears. They stood together for a few minutes, before Lincoln pulled away, and wiped at his eyes. “I could have asked, could have reached out, and I didn’t.” He cracked a smile, his voice still hoarse. “So, you and Owen, hmm?”

“Yeah.” Jared smiled softly. “I love him, and I owe you. If you hadn’t asked me to audition, I wouldn’t have this. Have him.”

“You two are meant to be together.” Lincoln stuck his hands in his pocket. “I guess we should get out there before your sweetheart comes looking for you.”

“Arse,” Jared said good-naturedly. He had no doubt that Owen knew they were talking and was giving them some space. “So… and I think I’m reading this right… you and Duncan, hmm?”

“Yeah.” Lincoln ducked his head. “It’s very new. We’re still feeling our way, and we haven’t told anyone yet. Mum knows. She adores him. He’s gone out of his way to look after her. Us. He’s a good man, and we spend hours talking.”

“You deserve someone who makes you happy.”

“So does he.” Lincoln hesitated. “I’m going to get past this weekend, and then I’ll tell the band I’m not coming back.”

“I won’t say anything,” Jared promised. “Your decision, so whenever works. And if you want to blow off some steam and come play with the band sometime, I’ll step aside.”

“Nah, thanks, though. I think that would be too hard. Though I might come round and jam with you and Owen sometime if that’s okay. I won’t be writing any music, though. I totally suck at that.”

“You can totally come and jam with us.” Jared was sure Owen would be all for it too. “We should probably get out there before your sweetheart comes looking for you.” He couldn’t resist throwing Lincoln’s words back at him.

Lincoln chuckled. “That’s a given.”

As if on cue, the door opened, and Duncan poked his head in. “Everything okay?” He sought out Lincoln, his concern obvious.

“Yeah.” Lincoln nodded towards Jared. “He knows. Everything. We’re okay.” He walked over to Duncan, who slipped his arm around Lincoln’s waist. The two of them looked good together and relaxed around each other.

They fit like Jared did with Owen.

“You’ve got each other,” Jared said. “You’ll get through this. And you have us. You’ll always have us.”

“Yeah, I know.” Lincoln tilted his head up and kissed Duncan’s cheek. “You okay with Owen knowing about us?”

“Sure.” Duncan smiled. “That’s always been up to you, love.”

Jared looked them up and down and grinned. “The guys haven’t seen you two together yet, have they?”

“No. I was…” Lincoln frowned, and then his eyes widened. “Oh, shit.”

“Yep.” Jared grinned. “I’d just tell them. They’re going to take one look and figure it out.”

Owen took another sip of coffee and glanced at the hallway leading to the bathroom. He needed to know that Jared was all right. Of course, seeing Lincoln with the band was going to remind him that being a part of this was meant to be temporary.

Damn it. Owen loved Jared and wanted Jared to be a part of Flightless, but he couldn’t dismiss Lincoln either.

He’d stood to go after Jared, but Lincoln had beaten him to it, murmuring something about a long overdue conversation.

Another few minutes, and he’d barge in anyway. Or perhaps wait until Lincoln returned, and then seek out Jared if he hadn’t returned.

“You were all so wonderful.” Beth approached their table, Duncan subtly supporting her. The huge smile she wore didn’t hide her tiredness or that she’d lost weight.

Owen hadn’t been around to see her and Lincoln as much as he should, with work and rehearsals for Frays and his upcoming audition. He mentally smacked himself. Geez, when had he grown so self-centred?

“It’s lovely to see you, Beth.” Owen shuffled his chair aside to give her room to get through to the empty spots on either side of the seat Lincoln had vacated.

“And all of you too.” Beth glanced around and held up her hand before any of them could speak. “Don’t waste your breath with platitudes and telling me I look great. It means a lot to me that I could come hear you today and meet you all for dinner.” She sat heavily, waving away Duncan’s fussing over her. “Flightless has come a long way since you used to practice in my garage after school.”

“That seems like a lifetime ago.” Clay sounded wistful, as though caught in memories.

Nat, who sat next to him, subtly shuffled closer. “I’m very happy to finally meet you, Beth. Everyone has spoken about you and how you used to keep them supplied in tea, coffee, and home baking when they rehearsed.” She was softly spoken but didn’t hesitate to speak her mind. Clay was clearly taken with her, and she with him.

“You were always so appreciative of everything, and it was a pleasure.” Beth smiled. “I knew you’d hit it big eventually. Being able to see that for myself makes me very happy, and that Duncan was able to make at least some of your dreams become reality.”

“We made a list of goals when we formed the band,” Kaci said. “One of those was to play here, but we didn’t think it would ever happen.”

“I suspect Frays is merely the first step on your journey.” Duncan frowned and said something quietly to Beth, who nodded. “I’m going to check on Lincoln. Be back in a few.” He grinned. “Feel free to talk about him once I’ve gone.”

Beth rolled her eyes. “Silly man.”

“He and Lincoln seem… close,” Kaci said.

“Duncan’s been a good friend to both of us.” Beth didn’t confirm or deny Kaci’s suspicions.

“Above and beyond,” Phil added, “by the looks of it.”

“You can never have too many friends,” Tyler said, giving his boyfriend a pointed look.

“Yeah, that,” Phil amended.

Owen shot another glance towards the bathrooms. Jared wouldn’t appreciate someone he didn’t know well interrupting a difficult conversation. “Perhaps I should?—”

“Here they come,” Rachel said brightly. “And we should order. We might have the rest of the festival to relax and enjoy the music, but Duncan’s got to get back to introduce the next act.”

“Actually, I have a bit of freedom today.” Duncan looked a little guilty. “I might have convinced Elard to introduce the next couple of acts for me. He usually insists on staying out of the spotlight, but when I explained the situation, he was happy to help out.”

“That’s very nice of him.” Beth cocked her head to one side, mouthed something to Lincoln, and then smiled.

Jared retook his seat next to Owen and then squeezed his hand. He looked happier than when he’d left the table and subtly nodded towards Lincoln and then Duncan, who had shifted their chairs so they were seated a little more closely than mere friends would. Duncan gave Lincoln a look, clearly questioning, and Lincon shrugged, then nodded.

The waiter came to take their orders and deliver baskets of sourdough bread to their table, and the next few minutes were spent figuring out what everyone wanted to eat.

Once he’d gone, Lincoln tapped the side of his glass, and everyone shifted their attention towards him.

“I…um… have a couple of announcements to make.” He glanced at Duncan, and then Jared, who widened his eyes.

“You don’t have to do that now,” Jared said. “I thought you wanted to wait.”

“It’s better to clear the air all round.” Lincoln looked guilty. “A part of me wanted to keep some of the illusion for the rest of the festival, but that’s not fair to you or the band.”

Duncan took Lincoln’s hand in his and squeezed it. “If you’ve got something to say, it’s often easier to get it off your chest and just say it,” he murmured.

Owen wasn’t the only one who noticed the gesture. Kaci looked smug, like she’d expected whatever Lincoln was going to say. Phil grinned. Tyler shoulder bumped him.

“When Duncan found out why I’d stepped down from Flightless, he went the extra mile to make sure that Mum and I were looked after.” Lincoln smiled at him affectionately. “We quickly became friends, but the rest is new. We’re still seeing where it goes, so our relationship isn’t public knowledge. Yet. But you’ve always been more like family, so I wanted you to know. I suck at keeping secrets anyway, and as Jared so rightly pointed out, you’d take one look at us and know.”

“Obvious as,” Phil said.

“Whatever.” Lincoln stuck his tongue out at Phil, the action more like his usual self than he’d been in months. “And the other announcement… Jared already knows, and not telling you straight off is a dick move, so…” He took a few deep breaths. “I’m leaving the band. For a number of reasons, some of which I’m still figuring out. You guys were great today, and I’m honoured to have been a part of your journey, but I need to make my own path.”

“You’re sure?” Rachel said. “We can find a way to keep both you and Jared if that’s what’s driving your decision.”

“Some of it,” Lincoln admitted, “but a very small part. I’ll keep in touch, though, so you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“We all need our family,” Beth said softly. “I’m proud of Lincoln and the decisions he’s made. They haven’t been easy. And I’m expecting you all to come visit, although…” She chuckled. “You might be the ones making the tea and coffee.”

“You’ll always be Aunty Beth to us, whatever happens.” Owen got up from his seat, walked around the table, and hugged Lincoln. “Don’t be a stranger. If you try to, we’ll be there dragging you back into the fold. Friends for life.”

“Friends for life.” Lincoln echoed the phrase they’d used when he, Clay, Kaci, and Owen had performed first together. “Family connected by music, and more.”