Don’t Let Go

12. Aurora

12

Aurora

Six pops echoed through my window from down the street. A few times a month, there was a drive-by in this neighborhood. It was pathetic how an idiotic thing like turf or a sideways look resulted in a shooting. Last month, a bullet went through the living room wall of a house a few streets from here and killed a five-year-old girl who fell asleep on the couch watching a Disney movie.

With those morbid thoughts running in the back of my mind, there was no chance of me going back to sleep. I sat up, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands. A basketball game loomed in the near future, and Paolo always talked my ear off about the plays and what could’ve been better, like I gave a damn. I understood how excited he was. The problem was I didn’t know much about the sport, even if I played in the band for every single one of the home games. Plus, he wasn’t that great of a player. He could never make a basket to save his life. He was too sloppy.

Kinda like how he was in bed.

My skin crawled at the thought of his tongue touching my skin. Of his lips tracing my thigh, moving his mouth higher. I shuddered and grabbed a book, hoping it would keep the dark thoughts away. I stared at the words on the page, but they turned into black blurs. After blinking, the words became clear again. I loved a good romance novel. No insta-love crap either. I enjoyed a slow burn, the flirting, and glances that blossomed into something more. If only real guys could be like those in books.

Halfway through my romance novel, I heard something outside as the two main characters leaned in for their first kiss—in the rain. I glanced at my window. My curtains were drawn, yet I looked at them as if that would help me identify the sound.

“Fuck this place,” I heard someone mutter.

“Hmm.” I placed my book on my nightstand and pushed the curtain to the side. Light from Tyler’s room reflected on the tree outside. He was awake.

I unlocked my window and pushed it to the left until it clicked in place. There was a small ledge outside the window, more for decoration than anything, but it was strong enough for someone to sit on. That was where Tyler perched, staring at the grass below.

I silently leaned out the window and peered down, nothing but shadows reaching across the grass. I turned my gaze upward to a sea of stars dotting a vast, inky black sky. The stars shined, but their beauty was wasted on us with the city’s light pollution. Sometimes I longed to be in the middle of nowhere so I could lie down and stare at the wonders of space.

“Fuck this,” Tyler muttered again, tearing my attention from the heavens.

“Jumping wouldn’t kill you. Probably wouldn’t even hurt.”

His eyes were darker than usual, filled with anger and agony. “Screw you. What do you want?”

I flipped my hair over my shoulder and moved through the window to sit on the little ledge. “Your rambling woke me up.”

“My bad.” He hung his head again.

“It’s fine.” I watched my bare feet dangle over the grass. “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“That drive-by got you too?”

I shrugged. “It happens more than you think. When it’s close I still wake up. Maybe in my dreams, I think I’m somewhere else.”

He let out a sound like a gravelly laugh. It came from deep in his chest, making me look over at him.

Even in the dim light, he was ruggedly handsome. His lips had a slight pucker as he frowned. The moonlight highlighted his strong cheekbones. His jaw tensed every few seconds. How could someone look so cute when they were that miserable?

“I know it’s a dumb question, but how are you?”

He wet his lips and stared at the stars.

“Where do I begin? I lost so much in a matter of days. I can’t stop thinking about the last words I said to my father. I hate South Ridge. No. I hate all of Phoenix and everyone in it.” He looked over at me. “I don’t mean you, it’s just—”

I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and crossed my ankles, swinging my legs gently. “It’s fine. You’re from another world. I bet our crummy school is a joke to you. You probably went to a private school with uniforms.”

He laughed. It sounded truer, like for a moment he forgot about his sorrow and heard a good joke. “No uniforms. I haven’t been to a school like that since elementary school, and I hated every moment of that. I just miss my girlfriend and my teammates.”

“What did you play?”

“Basketball.”

With his tall, lean frame, I could picture him running down the court and doing a high jump, the ball flying, making it in. Nothing but net. Our team had a handful of tall players. This season, our boys’ basketball team was miraculously still playing and we were getting close to the playoffs. If we made it that would break the record for our school even if we didn’t win the title.

“You look like you play ball.”

He rubbed his hands together and stared at them for a long moment. “Yeah. Been playing since I could walk. My old man taught me.”

“That’s how they live on within us, memories.” I sighed, dipping my head back to stare at the bright spot known as Mars. “It’s a struggle every day. I can’t stop thinking about my papà sometimes.”

His eyes drifted over my body, studying me like I was an interesting art piece. “That’s how I felt when I lost my mom. Now I’m just numb. Like this is all a nightmare and Freddy Kruger is going to jump out of the shadows and stab me through the chest with his claws.”

“Did… did you witness him… did you watch…” I choked on the words. My tongue didn’t want to ask the absurd question burning in my chest.

“I saw my mom die. My father and I held her hands as she slipped away. The doctors said it was heart failure.” He became thoughtful, almost childlike. "But my dad never believed that…"

“That’s what stole my uncle a few years ago.” Hair fell in front of my face as I bowed my head, talking about my feelings always made me feel vulnerable.

Tyler sniffed, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. “I didn’t get to say goodbye to my dad. I found peace in losing my mom. It still stings, don’t get me wrong. We had some time to see it coming though. I was prepared. She was prepared.” His voice was a harsh whisper, like gravel on cement. He screwed his eyes closed and his jaw welded shut.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t—”

He stared at me as if trying to dig deep into my soul. “No. I need to talk about it. I haven’t told anyone and it’s eating away at me.” He rubbed his hands on his jeans. “I haven’t had time to process it all. All I know was I won the basketball game and I was pissed at my dad for coming late. I dissed him to go to a party with my best friend and my girlfriend. While there I kept getting calls and finally answered. I raced to the hospital, but he was already too far gone. Then a doctor came out and told me there was nothing they could do. That my dad had passed away.”

“Wow. That’s horrible. I can’t imagine going from being so high after a win and being at a party to crashing nose-first into the worst news like that.” I traced a star on my PJ bottoms. “My papà died in a gas station. We were coming home from a camping trip, just him and I. We went into a gas station to use the bathroom and buy snacks. When I came around the corner with candy in hand, my papà motioned for me to get low. I was used to it living in Phoenix all my life, but it was strange up north since the worst things that happen there were usually weather related, like forest fires.” I pressed my lips together, the memory of my papà stung like a million wasps. “I obeyed and got down on my hands and knees.” I closed my eyes. The flash of the gunfire still blinded me. “That’s when I melted into the ground and buried my face into my hands. First, the cashier was shot, and then my papà. All for whatever was in the drawer and a carton of cigarettes.”

Tyler reached over and squeezed my forearm. “He died protecting you. You were all he thought about.”

I shook my head as tears burned my cheeks. “No. He was still alive. I tried to stop the bleeding, but it was so much. It was hard to get a signal on either of our phones and the robbers cut the phone line. He… he died in my arms. When help finally arrived I was drenched in his blood.”

Tyler sucked in a sharp breath. “Damn. That’s deep shit. How long ago was that?”

“Two years,” I said in a shaky voice.

Another round of popping echoed up from the street. A red car darted down the road, wheels squealing as white puffs of smoke filled the air behind it. The scene made for the perfect timing to cut this too-deep conversation with a hot stranger off before I revealed too much about myself.

“You’ll get used to it.” I put one leg in my room. “I’m going inside now.” I stole a glimpse of Tyler. He stared intently at where the car was a few seconds ago.

“I don’t think I’ll get used to this,” he mumbled.

I gave him a grim smile and ducked inside. I placed a hand on my window to slide it closed.

The glass was about to hit the end of the track when Tyler said, “Wait.”

I pushed it open enough for me to stick my head out. “Yeah?”

“Can we talk later? I think it… helps.”

“Of course. You coming inside?”

He shook his head. “No. I’m going to stay out here and think. Night.”

“Night.” I shut and locked my window.

I fell into bed and buried my head under my pillows. Why did I share so many intimate details with him? He was so easy to talk to. Maybe because he understood. He was in the same dead parent club, hell, he had more badges than me. At least we knew to avoid that ghastly five-letter word, sorry.

My phone buzzed on the nightstand. I sat up, saving a pillow from falling to the floor, and grabbed my phone. It was a text from Paolo.

Urgent business meeting tomorrow night @ 8. Don’t be late.

Shit. That only meant one thing. The mafia needed me to do something for them. How I loathed the ties to the mob sometimes.

Okay, see you tomorrow. Xoxo

It hurt to type that last part, but I had to keep up my appearance of affection.

Keep tomorrow night free. I have plans afterward.

Lovely. I knew what that meant. He wanted me to come over to his house so he could “have his way with me” since I needed to be such a good girlfriend and all.

Kill me now, please.