Don’t Let Go

23. Tyler

23

Tyler

We spent a few hours walking around Tempe Beach Park. The sun had set, and the twinkling lights from the two bridges over the lake were reflected in the dark waters like little fairies in a vast void of blackness. The moon hung in the sky like a Cheshire cat smile, but the park was well-lit with streetlights. We didn’t talk as we walked around that lake at least half a dozen times. The silence felt natural. We understood each other’s pain, and we needed to be together in our deepest and most excruciating thoughts. Our hands briefly brushed a couple of times. I wanted to hold her hand and pull her in close, allowing her to unload all her sadness onto me, but I wasn’t her boyfriend. Paolo may have been an asshole, but he was still in the picture, so I couldn’t bring myself to take that kind of step toward Rory.

It was close to ten o’clock when we drove home. I parked the car, and we sat there with the radio softly singing a love ballad.

“Thank you for rescuing me and for simply being there. I needed that today.” Rory leaned across the center console and kissed my cheek.

“No problem,” I said, opening my car door.

We walked into the house and parted ways into our bedrooms. I wanted Rory to explain why Paolo was doing a drug deal and how she said it so smoothly like it wasn’t that big of a deal. That wasn’t the kind of question to ask on a heavy day like this. I kept my questions to myself until a more appropriate time.

The final bell rang—school was over for the day. Since I woke up, I’ve been going back and forth about talking to Rory about last night and whether I should join South Ridge’s basketball team. I didn’t want to invade her privacy, so I pushed that to the back burner and focused on the crisis at hand.

To some, it might seem like an easy answer: I loved basketball and wanted to play professionally in and out of college. Sounded cut and dry, yet a part of me made me drag my feet to the gym. I didn’t want to wear a different uniform or a different number. I didn’t want to figure out how to play with a bunch of new guys, especially Paolo, who hated my guts because I was forced to live in Rory’s house. That was the only reason I could think of. Well, there would be two if I joined the team.

Before I pushed the steel door open, I could hear the team dribbling basketballs and their sneakers squeaking on the wood floor. I clenched my jaw and thought for a moment about what would happen if I walked away, getting into my car, and driving off.

My future had always been the same since I learned how to play ball with my old man. We’d bullshit and make bets on which team would pick me during drafts. My dad wanted me to stay in Arizona. I wanted to go to California, still close to home, and their team was so much better than Arizona’s.

Now I was here. No father to bet with or a single person to cheer for me as I crossed the stage for graduation. I lost my friends and girlfriend, and now I talk to myself more and more like an insane person.

Fuck it.

I pushed open the door before losing my nerve.

Coach Grant saw me and blew the whistle. Everyone stopped playing and looked over at me.

The door slammed shut, and I stood there like a fool.

“Don’t just stand there, boy. Go change and join us.” Coach pointed to a doorway on the opposite side of the gym.

I nodded like a bobblehead and walked across the court.

James came over and smacked me on the back. “I’m glad you came. We have a chance now.”

All the other teammates hit my back and thanked me for joining. It was as if I’d donated a kidney to their beloved coach.

I entered the locker room and changed into some loose shorts and a tank top. No one was in the locker room with me, and then I realized something. Everyone was happy to see me, and everyone was there—except Paolo.

I retied my sneakers and jogged out of the locker room. Voices echoed down the hall. Paolo finally showed up, and someone must’ve told him I was the recruit. He wasn’t taking it well, as I predicted.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You put Tyler fucking Winston on our team? You can’t do that. He’s a transplant. He can’t quit one school and come over here and sign up like that.” He was fuming, almost on the verge of going rabid, as he waved his arms around in anger while yelling.

Coach Grant pointed a finger at Paolo. “Calm down, and don’t curse in my gym.”

I rolled back my shoulders and stepped onto the court, preparing to lock horns with the jackass Rory still called a boyfriend.

Paolo charged me, his eyes crazed with red. I almost wanted to laugh. He was trying to be intimidating, and all I could think about was how this clown would cry if I socked him in the nose.

A whistle blew, and Paolo froze in place.

Coach Grant grabbed Paolo by the shoulder and pulled him to the side of the court. “Why don’t you go run some laps around the building? Cool off.”

“I don’t think—”

Coach Grant crossed his arms. “That was an order.”

Paolo muttered something as he slunk out the door.

James tossed the ball at me.

“Show us some moves. Need to earn your spot on the team, Winston.”

I dribbled the ball and side-eyed the guy to my left. “You’re on.”

I bypassed James and another guy who had a foot of height on me. I shot the ball a few yards, and it was nothing but net. I landed on my feet and couldn’t help but smile. You couldn’t keep me down.

“Damn,” Christian said, hitting my shoulder. “I’m glad you’re on our team.”

“Let’s go again.” James passed the ball back to me, and we naturally broke into two teams. Practice went off without a hitch. Paolo never returned. Without him, this could almost feel like they had always been my team.

No Quincy, though. I did miss that motherfucker. I wondered if any of my new teammates could hang out after practice. Maybe I needed to embrace this change.

We played for two hours. Coach Grant said we did well and could go home. I changed my clothes in the locker room, and as I wiped my sweaty face on a towel, I looked up and saw James.

“What’s up?” I asked, drying the sweat off the back of my neck.

He laughed and nudged Christian and Bryce. “There’s a party tonight. It starts at nine. You in?”

I dropped my towel on the bench. I guessed the first step in making friends was finding out what partying was like in South Phoenix.

“I’m game. Just text me the address.”

“Dope.”

I gave him my number, and we parted ways.

Tonight was going to be interesting.

For a moment, I wondered how weird it would feel to be at a party with people I barely knew. This house looked like it could collapse at any second, yet the music was rockin’, making the windows vibrate. The girls still wore tight short dresses, revealing their breasts and drawing attention to their asses. There was still beer pong going on as soon as you walked into the house. A thick cloud of weed hung in the air.

The house wasn’t as fancy as parties in Scottsdale, but with the atmosphere and lights, I could imagine my old friends here. Hell, I found myself looking for Quincy in all the faces that passed by.

I shook it off and slipped into the kitchen to grab a red cup filled with beer. It was piss-warm, like the parties back home. It was strange how comforting that was.

James, Bryce, and Christian were with the team laughing their asses off about something in the living room.

Christian spotted me first and motioned for me to join. “Hey. Glad you could make it.”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” I said, taking a sip of beer. “The beer is shit.”

James laughed. “We should’ve warned you. That beer is for everyone else but us.”

I peered into my cup; about half was missing. “Oh?”

Did they poison it?

Christian took the cup, dumping what was left into a planter. “We get the good beer. Come on, we have it hidden in a bedroom in a cooler.”

Bryce nodded toward the front door. “Warning, Paolo is here.”

Sure enough, he was talking to some guys with Rory on his arm. He looked to be holding her too tight by the waist. Her lips pinched into a thin line. I wanted to step in, though it would only set him off.

Rory glanced at me with her sad eyes. I thought she was begging me to save her until her eyes moved away. She slipped on her mask for him, acting her part. I’d never understand why.

Bryce hit me upside the head. “Come on, man. The beer’s waitin’.”

I followed my newfound friends to the first and probably the only bedroom on the first floor. It was small, about ten-by-ten, with a twin bed and a dresser. James opened the closet and dragged out the blue cooler. He opened it and tossed a can of beer to everyone before taking one himself.

“Everyone gets that cheap crap. We get the best brand on ice,” Bryce said, kicking the cooler.

James raised his can, and the other two followed suit. All three stared at me until I did the same. “To the best season South Ridge has ever had!” We hit cans and downed our beers.

With a second beer in hand, we returned to the party. Bryce and Christian joined up with other friends and disappeared. James took a sip of his beer as he surveyed the crowd.

He motioned to the bodies dancing and grinding together in front of us with his beer. “This party any better than the ones back home?”

I cackled. “There’s beer, music, chicks, and drunks. Pretty much the same.”

“We just don’t have any good silverware to steal, right?” He laughed and shook his head. “Sorry, man. Bad joke.”

A smile cracked my lips despite myself. “You got me there.”

“I know we’re not your regular team you’ve had for years, but trust my guys.” He hit me on the back. “We can pull through. In the end, we want the same thing, right? To look good for the scouts and give our school bragging rights because it also gives us a leg up for college.”

I nodded. “Yes. All about the show.”

Some blonde waved at James. He straightened up and got a sinister grin on his face. “Gotta go. My girl needs me.”

“Sure. Have fun.”

He raised his can at me before hooking up with his girl.

Standing alone at a party. Never thought that would happen.

I took a swig of beer and observed the two guys playing beer pong in the back. They were drunk off their asses and couldn’t stop laughing, which made them miss every shot.

A hand grabbed me and pulled me back a good three feet.

“What the hell?” I took my arm back and glared at whoever dared yank me around like a doll.

Rory stood before me, eyeing the beer in my hand. “They allowed you one of their secret beers? You’re special now that you’re on the team, huh?”

“Yeah.” I raised an eyebrow. “How did you know I—”

“Paolo can’t shut up about it. I told you I’d learn either way.” She blew a piece of hair out of her face.

“How did you escape said douche? He looked like he had a hold of you and—”

“He can’t follow me to the bathroom. Well, I guess he could, but that’s not the point.” She stole my beer, taking a long sip before giving it back. “Not bad. Better than the crap they tried to pass as beer over there.”

A crash came toward the back of the room. Everyone stopped and then burst into laughter. One of the drunks playing beer pong fell through the French door, shattering it. How he managed to do that, I’d never know.

“Damn.”

Rory half laughed as she shook her head. “The beer tastes like shit, but it gets the job done.”

“I never understood why people liked to blackout.”

She shrugged. “Me either.” Rory took a step closer. “Want to go upstairs?”

I opened my mouth but couldn’t speak.

Does she want what I think she wants?

Her cheeks turned pink as she giggled. It sounded sweet and made me want to kiss her that much more. How warm would those cheeks be if I kissed them? How sweet would her lips taste?

“Not for anything like that. I want to sit down without the risk of someone spilling something on me and be able to talk without being interrupted.” I followed her gaze to Paolo. He was talking with two guys and a girl with long brown hair wearing a low-cut top. She wasn’t afraid to brush herself against Paolo. He didn’t seem to mind.

I finished my beer and crushed the can in my hand. “Lead the way.”

She moved for the stairs and didn’t say another word until we were locked in a bedroom down the hall. There were dinosaurs on the wallpaper. Some little boy’s room was our hideaway from this party.

I picked up a T-Rex toy and examined it. There was some museum’s name stamped on the bottom of its foot. “What did you want to talk about?”

She threw herself on the twin bed and exhaled, falling back against the pillows. “I don’t care. I just don’t want Paolo to find me.”

“Yeah, that tool knows how to run his mouth.”

She made a noise, though I couldn’t determine if it was a morbid laugh or a sound of disgust.

I took a seat next to her. Her long hair fanned out across the sheet. When she flipped her hair to one side, some of it landed on my lap. I took a small amount, running it between my fingers. Her hair was so soft.

She threaded her fingers together and rested them on her stomach. “Being on a team now will help you with college, right?”

I rubbed my hands together to keep myself from touching her. “Yeah. What about you? You thinking of college?”

She reached up to tug on her silver loop earring. “I’d like to go to school to be a nurse. I’ve seen enough pain and death and would like to save people for once.”

“That’s a good career choice.” I was never more aware of where my hands were than before this moment. I wanted to swipe her hair to the side and kiss her more than I wanted to keep breathing. “I bet your mom is proud of you for wanting to help people.”

Her face was hard to read. She chewed on her bottom lip and kept her eyes glued to the ceiling. I looked up and found nothing but shadows.

“What’s up there?”

She blinked, keeping her eyes closed longer than needed. “Just thinking is all.”

“Guess I’ll be seeing you at games now, despite you not liking being in band.”

She rolled over, taking her hair away from me. “Yeah.”

I brushed invisible lint off my jeans. “Why are you in the band, anyway? You don’t seem like the type.” Maybe she’d finally answer one of my burning questions.

Rory shrugged. “My mamma wanted me to be involved in something, and my friend loved the idea. We weren’t skinny or perky enough to be cheerleaders. Not athletic enough to join any sport. Not smart enough to be in the chess club or any of the other nerd clubs. She loved her flute, and my papà taught me how to play the trombone, so we joined the band.”

I popped both my thumbs and dared to ask another question. “What happened to her?”

She looked over at the toy dinosaurs and frowned. “We went to this party. A hot guy flirted with her and took her to a bedroom. Nine months later, she had a baby boy and was forced to drop out by her parents. They have her in some GED program to help with time management or something like that.” She laid down on the pillows again. “And now I don’t have a friend in band anymore. I stay because I don’t know what else to do, plus she asked me to. So here I am. Still doing crap for others and not myself.”

“Why can’t you stop?” I placed both my hands on either side of me. My left hand brushed Rory’s leg. Her reaction was to lay her legs across my lap.

“I’m a stick stuck in the mud. I’ve given up hope on getting out. I’ve come to take this as my life.”

I draped my right arm over her legs. “I can’t believe that. You’re acting like you’re over seventy, and you’ve lived most of your life. Why don’t—”

She sat up and put a finger to my lips. “Why do I feel like you’re going to start quoting some great long-dead writer? I’ve read it all. I know I can escape. Raise my middle finger and slip away. It’s just… I can’t abandon my family like that.”

I traced her kneecap with my fingertip. “I can understand that. You have a lot of family members depending on you. I don’t know what that’s like.” I pushed her legs off me so I could stand.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to depress you.” She reached out for my arm.

I leaned against the wall and focused on the map of the world taped to the closet door. “It’s fine. We can’t change where we come from, right?”

Three loud booms came from downstairs, and I almost jumped out of my skin.

Rory leaped to her feet, at attention like a soldier.

“Right.” She sank her nails into my arm, yanking me out of the bedroom. “I think it’s time we head home.”

Everyone was in panic mode. The music switched off as the house filled with the sound of screaming. Like a horror movie’s main character screaming for help until their vocal cords were shredded, and still, no one came.

A limp body covered the stairs. I almost tripped over it.

I reached down to see if he was okay when Rory pulled me away. “Don’t stop.”

We ducked into the kitchen as more gunfire cut through the house. Windows shattered, and the door was busted in. I spotted three gunmen run up the stairs. One stopped to shoot the guy on the ground before following the others.

“Holy shit. What the hell’s happening?”

Rory fell behind a counter, taking me with her. “Gang turf war. They do this from time to time at parties.”

My heart was about to explode, and she was as calm as a surgeon cutting into someone’s chest. “Why aren’t you scared?”

She stared me dead in the eye. “Who says I’m not? I know the best thing is to get out. No point in freaking out now. Best to do that later when you’re safe.”

Made sense, but who the hell reasoned like that?

More gunfire seemed to be coming from the other side of the house. Rory grabbed my hand, and we rushed to the back door.

A man three times bigger than me loomed in front of us. He pointed his pistol at me, and every pore in my body broke out in sweat. I didn’t want to die while still in high school, right after my father.

Yet there I was, staring into the barrel of a gun.

Another guy came from the pool and hit the guy holding us hostage over the head. “That’s Mrs. Giordano’s daughter. We can’t touch her. Come on, dumbass.”

The man listened and nodded at us to leave.

My body felt like it had turned to stone. Rory slapped me across the face to get me to follow her, and we scaled the back fence. As we jogged away from the house, Rory burst into laughter. “That was intense!”

I placed both hands on top of my head, trying to keep myself from having a complete meltdown. “What the fuck? Rory, we were held at gunpoint, and you’re laughing?”

She had to lean against a palm tree as another wave of giggles overtook her. All I could do was stand there as Rory doubled over, and tears streamed down her flushed cheeks.

I swallowed a few times, trying to get my heart out of my throat. Every nerve in me was shaking. The party had turned into a scene out of hell, and somehow, we made it out. Though looking at Rory, I wasn’t sure if we made it out sane.

She wiped her face with the sides of her hands, smearing her eye makeup. “What a rush.”

I shoved my hands into my front pockets so she didn’t see my tremors. “Please explain how this is funny. We almost died.”

She took a deep breath and pulled her hair over to one side, braiding it as we walked down the street. “Gangs run this part of the city. I’ve been in some bad situations, but never like that. It was like a scene out of an action movie.”

Rory pointed to a muscle car parked near the curb. “See that? We used to have a drag-racing problem. It’s since moved further south for the more open stretch of road, but anyway, there was a shooting at the one I went to last year. The guy who came in second claimed the guy who won rigged it and boosted his Mustang more than the rules allowed. They argued, and then someone pulled out a gun. I remember how shiny it was under the streetlight and how loud the shot was, like a firework. Then, the winner fell dead. I took off after that. I haven’t been to anything that profound until tonight.” She rubbed her eyebrow, gently pulling at her right eye.

She’s elated about all this. I don’t believe it.

I stole a glance behind us. No one was there, though I felt like someone was watching us, following us. I had no idea where we were going. Honestly, I hoped I parked this way.

“This place is crazier than I thought. A party ended in gunfire and bloodshed. The worst party I went to was when I had to run and jump a few fences because the police came for a noise complaint and decided to crack down once they saw we were underage drinking and had some blow.”

A thought struck me. “We’re only alive because….” I took her hand in mine, stopping in the middle of the street. “We’re only alive because that guy knew your mother. Why?”

She pulled her hand away faster than a snake could strike, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. “My mamma has many friends….” She looked around us as if all she saw were ghosts. “Did you drive here?”

I pulled my keys out of my pocket. “Yeah. You didn’t answer my question, Rory. Why did they let us go?”

I stared her down. She lost her composure, the laughter turning to fear. Her green eyes grew darker. She kept blinking rapidly, her lashes reminding me of a morbid butterfly trying to escape a spider’s web.

Rory hugged herself, hunching her shoulders. “My mamma does business with some powerful men. She helps make things clean again. Those gang bangers have nothing on her connections. The gangs know to leave my mamma and her family alone. That’s all I can say.”

Business? Clean? Connections? What the hell was her family involved in?

I rubbed my eyes with my forefinger and thumb, trying to wrap my head around all this. “Okay, fine. We don’t have to talk.” I hit my key fob. In the distance, my car beeped. “Let’s get outta here.”

Rory kept a good yard between us. “Promise me you won’t tell my brothers or mamma what happened.”

I nodded. I couldn’t talk anymore anyway.

Who was the Giordano family? How were they tied into the violence that fueled South Phoenix?

With my blood pressure somewhat back to normal, I started my car and drove us home. Rory looked out the window, digging her nails into the side of her right hand the entire time.

How long has she lived like this?

I didn’t know what was happening. It felt like the world had turned upside down. Everything was a question.