Dopplebanger (Meet-Cute #5)

Chapter 22

TWENTY-TWO

Today was such a weird day—I wasn’t kidding about my hatred of rollercoasters. Maybe I’d be the tiniest bit happier if Evan was the person seated on the rollercoaster with me, but he’d sent me on one that started last night and now I felt like I had to constantly have my guard up.

But then he’d kissed me and… residual heat coursed through me. It was an amazing freaking kiss. The mind-blowing type you hear about but don’t quite believe is possible until you experience one for yourself. There’d been fireworks going off since the morning at Sacred Grounds, and even as frustrated as I was, those hadn’t disappeared.

And he said he was preoccupied with his future, which was a good thing, I supposed. I hoped it included me. We were going to have to have a talk, and I couldn’t be a chicken anymore. I needed to know where we stood.

It was also weird to watch Madison reciting her vows. A good kind of weird, but still. Of the three of us, I thought she’d be the last to settle down, and I couldn’t look at her without thinking of slumber parties spent giggling instead of sleeping; that time we’d taken her dad’s new truck for a spin in the middle of the night, ended up stuck in a field and had to call the guys for backup; and how she’d been the one I turned to when I was ready to have sex for the first time with Kyle.

Maybe I’ll have to ask for advice on how to get my current boyfriend to sleep with me.

My eyes moved to Evan of their own accord—did he always have that mole on his jawline? I’d studied it so often you’d think I would’ve noticed it before. Maybe it was because he’d shaved today.

His eyebrow arched as he gave me a sidelong glance. Probably meant I should stop staring, but I kept on doing it anyway. The grooves in his cheek that accented his smile deepened as a crooked grin tugged at his mouth. Then he draped his arm around me and curled me closer.

I dropped my head on his shoulder and inhaled his cologne. Since I didn’t want to freak him out—especially since I worried he was already in freaked territory—I’d tried to play it cool about the wedding stuff. But right now, with the bride and groom grinning at each other, a couple of people around us tearing up, and the beautiful fairytale setting… mushy love vibes were definitely seeping through the barrier I’d tried to erect, not just around me, but my heart.

Evan’s thumb dragged up and down my arm and my stomach went to spinning on me.

“…pronounce you husband and wife.”

Kade nearly knocked Madison over in his enthusiasm to kiss her, and the crowd shared a chuckle before it melted into awws . Then there was cheering as they headed back down the aisle. I kept my attention on them, because like I said, trying to play it cool. I swear if you made eye contact with a guy during the end part of the wedding stuff, they translated that into you thinking about marrying them.

Only I felt Evan’s gaze on me, and when I let myself turn and drink him in, he dipped his head for a kiss. “I feel like I didn’t say enough about how amazing you look tonight.”

I fisted his jacket in my hand, holding his mouth to mine, where it should always be. “You did say the dress was giving you dirty thoughts.”

“Exceptionally dirty. But it’s not just the dress. It’s the girl in the dress. You’re stunning, Guinevere Cosgrave.”

My heart skipped a few beats.

“I guarantee every guy here is jealous that I’m here with you. Especially your idiot ex-boyfriend.”

“An exaggeration, but nice all the same.”

“Well, if he doesn’t stop staring at you, I might have to kick his ass, wedding or not.”

Maybe I should be above being turned on by the caveman antics, but I so wasn’t. While usually my instincts would also have me to checking to see if his words held any merit, Evan’s blue eyes were currently holding me captive, leaving me incapable of even thinking about any other guy. “Can you please wait till after the wedding?”

Evan tipped his head one way and then the other like he was considering.

“We’re supposed to follow them to the reception area!” the lady to my right said, giving me a nudge and gesturing us to move toward the aisle.

Guess the mushy part of the night was over. Now it was a race to the tables and chairs circling the dance floor, even though there’d be place settings with our names, so it wasn’t like the faster you went, the better seat you’d get.

As Evan and I made our way over, several people said hello. Acquaintances from high school. The woman who ran the local coffee shop. One of my teachers. Paige’s parents, which was slightly awkward, and Kyle’s parents, which was super freaking awkward.

But every time my shoulders would tense up, Evan would run his fingers across my skin and become my center and my rock.

After the couple’s first dance, they invited other couples to join them on the floor.

I was sure Evan wouldn’t want to dance, so I eyed the tables, wondering which one we’d been seated at.

“Where you going?” Evan asked.

“To find our seats.”

“I figured you’d want to dance.”

I glanced toward the floor where other couples swayed and spun. “I figured you wouldn’t want to.”

“Do I get to wrap my arms around you?” he asked, his voice low and husky, and butterflies swarmed my gut.

“I think that’s how it typically works, yes.”

“Then I’m in.” He laced his fingers with mine, led me to the dance floor, and drew me close.

I ran my hands up his arms and linked them behind his neck, bringing our bodies flush together. “How’d you know I’d want to dance?” It wasn’t like I frequented nightclubs, and there’d never been any opportunity to dance during our usual, more-laidback hangouts.

“You bounced around in your seat to the beat of your awful music while we were in the car. You get this different kind of smile when dancing is involved, even if it’s chair dancing.”

My smile stretched my cheeks.

“Yep, that’s the one.” Evan twirled me out and then pulled me back in, and my laugh caught the attention of people around us, but I didn’t care. He was far from being on the beat, but I didn’t care about that, either.

We were on our second dance when Evan’s expression abruptly turned murderous. Keeping a tight grip on him—this dance floor was on the slick side—I glanced over my shoulder.

Kyle cleared his throat. “Can I cut in?”

Evan tightened his grip on me. “Nope.”

“Look, man, I just want to talk to her, I swear.”

No verbal response from my boyfriend—the leer was still in place and his iron grip remained. The thought of talking to Kyle was akin to wearing Lady Gaga’s meat dress into a lion’s den, but his tormented expression and the slight pleading in his words dug at me. Something inside of me also craved some kind of closure. As much as he and I could have. Just have it out and get it done so we could fully move on.

“Evan,” I said, and he growled. Growled! And it totally caused an undercurrent of electricity that demanded to be fed.

Paige was suddenly there next to Kyle. “I’ll dance with Evan while you guys talk.”

Now it was my turn to growl.

Madison and Kade danced closer, apparently wanting in on the awkward action. “Everyone having fun?”

We all nodded, because for as pretty as brides could be with all their flawless makeup and layers and layers of tulle, they were also kinda scary when they smiled with that gleam in their eye that ordered you not to ruin their wedding.

“Here. I’ll dance with Evan,” Madison said. She nudged her brand-new groom toward Paige. “You dance with Paige for a song.”

With a shrug, Kade switched over to Paige, and as the two of them started away from us, I asked Madison, “Sure you want to do that?” Okay, so there was still some bitterness.

“I trust Kade. Plus, she’s already been with his brother, so that’d be super weird and…” She waved a hand through the air. “Just go take care of your shit so we can get on with the celebration.”

“Evan?” Madison held out her hand, a hint of impatience in her tone.

His eyes met mine. “Up to you.”

“I’ll be fine for a song.” Right as I said it, a new song started, and I didn’t recognize it, so I just hoped it wasn’t a very long one. I gave Evan a quick peck on the lips, then turned to Kyle.

Madison and Evan danced far enough away to give us privacy, but remained close enough that if I needed them I could easily flag them down.

Kyle put his hands on the sides of my waist and I placed my hands on his shoulders. He was a few inches shorter than Evan. Not as built, either. Definitely didn’t have the chiseled jawline of the gods.

Not that that any of those were the most important things, but I couldn’t help feeling a little smug over it. At one time in my life, the guy across from me had such a strong hold that I couldn’t imagine ever being with anyone else.

“I don’t know how to start,” he said.

“Since I don’t know where you’re going, I can’t be of much help.”

He tugged at his tie before returning his hand to my hip. “I guess it boils down to saying I’m sorry. I know I said it before, but things were so raw?—”

“Yeah, must’ve been real painful for you, walking in on your boyfriend and your best friend humping like bunnies. Oh, wait. That was me.”

He sighed. “Let’s not do this.”

“Then get to it. Say what you want to say. If sorry’s all there is, I think we’re done here.” I lifted my hands from his shoulders.

“No, that’s not all.” He glanced at the floor for a couple of seconds before his gaze returned to my face—or more like my ear. “What Paige and I did to you sucks. And I hate that it’s torn our group of friends apart. Things aren’t the same.” Familiar brown eyes met mine, a hint of genuineness actually making an appearance. “I miss you.”

I tensed.

“Not like… I mean, sometimes I do like that, but…”

I scrunched up my forehead, not sure where he was going and not sure I wanted to follow.

“We were friends for so long,” Kyle said. “It doesn’t feel right going from so much to nothing.”

“You should’ve thought of that before you slept with my best friend.”

“Paige has beat herself up plenty. She misses you, too.”

A vice fitted around my heart and twisted tighter, even as I told myself I shouldn’t have to feel sad or sorry, or anything. “You guys broke my heart in every way possible. I’ve moved on. I don’t want to do this.” I started to pull away again and Kyle caught my arm.

Across the floor, Evan tensed.

I forced a smile, trying to reassure him I was fine. And I was. Mostly.

I wriggled out of Kyle’s grip but remained facing him. He didn’t bother putting his hands back on my waist and he’d completely abandoned his attempt to sway to the beat. “How long are you going to punish us?”

“I’m not punishing you guys. I’m just not ready to pretend it never happened and go back to us all being besties, either.”

He crossed his arms. Over the years we’d had plenty of arguments, and I’d been the one who’d apologized and smoothed it over nearly every single time. Not this time, though. “If you want absolution, you’ve come to the wrong place. I moved halfway across the country for you. Almost every move I made from the time I was seventeen years old was for you. And you repaid me by sleeping with my best friend—seriously, some sorority girl would’ve hurt, but my best friend? Really? ”

“You were so busy, and?—”

“No.” I jabbed a finger at him. “You don’t get to turn this on me.”

He held up his hands in classic surrender stance. “That wasn’t?—”

I narrowed my eyes.

“Okay, maybe I was.” He studied me, almost as if he was seeing me in a new light—not the one Evan accused him of, but more like surprise with a side of being impressed. “You’ve changed. You’re stronger than you used to be.”

Since it’d been something I’d worked hard on—something I wished my dad would also see—Kyle’s acknowledgment cooled some of my anger. Not that I’d be making him a friendship bracelet anytime soon.

“And because of that,” Kyle continued, “I’m just going to give it to you straight. The main reason I’m trying to extend this olive branch is for Paige’s sake. While we shouldn’t have gotten together the way we did, I do care about her, and losing you has eaten her up inside. She hoped if maybe you and I cleared the air, it’d be easier for you and her to do the same.”

Out of habit, I braced for the hurt I often experienced whenever I thought of them together, but it didn’t come.

“She misses you so much. And now that Madison’s married, I’m afraid that Paige will retreat into herself that much more.”

The vindictive part of me wanted to say she deserved it. She’d made her bed by sleeping with my boyfriend in mine. But empathy rose on its heels. I couldn’t help remembering how she hadn’t had the same loving family dynamic I did. Thanks to her daddy issues, she’d always craved attention from guys. She’d practically throw herself at dudes who’d ignore her after they slept together, and while she tried to hide how much it hurt her, I knew her too well for the act to work. I also sensed some jealousy on her end over my family and my relationship with Kyle, but had tried to combat that with love, and so her betrayal cut extra deep. It’d made me hold back—pretty much the only reason I had Tori was because she charged right on through anyway.

At least this guy cared about Paige and stuck by her side. She needed that.

Honestly, as I looked at Kyle, I also thought that if she hadn’t done what she’d done, I would’ve probably kept on living my life for him. Let him determine my course. I would’ve settled, not realizing there was a guy out there who was so much better for me. Who actually understood me and encouraged me to be strong—and more, had faith that I could be.

I blew out a breath, pushing out all the negative vibes I could. “I’m not sure I’m ready to have a big heart-to-heart with her tonight. It’s already been a bit emotionally draining just being around you guys and remembering the past. But I’ll give her a call when I get home and we’ll start slow.”

He nodded, lips clamped like he was afraid if he said anything he’d ruin it, which was totally accurate.

“I appreciate your attempt to make peace and get us talking again. And one nice thing I can say is that while I moved states for you, I stayed for me. Being with you brought me to a place I love. I’m happy in Raleigh.”

“Happy with that guy?”

Happiness did swell as I thought of Evan. I had moved on. Halfway on. In? Basically I’d packed my bags and was ready to move all the way. I just needed to know if my boyfriend also wanted to move on together, and if he could handle my baggage.

I tried to tell myself that even if he wasn’t, he’d at least been right when he’d told me I’d be fine on my own.