Duncan’s Honor (The Aegis Network: Jacksonville Division #7)

Chapter 10

10

H e wanted to date her?

They were way past dating. They were going to be parents. Shit. She wasn’t ready for this. It didn’t matter that she wanted it more than anything. She had planned on falling in love, getting married… then having babies.

She slipped from her bed and tiptoed across the hallway toward Manly’s old room. Her parents had, hopefully, gone to bed. But all she wanted to do was talk. Taking in a deep breath, she tapped on the door. “Duncan?” she whispered. “Can I come in?” She lowered her gaze, realizing she was wearing one of his shirts she’d snagged after they’d gone for a run and she’d spilled coffee on it. It had become her pajamas and she’d tossed it in her suitcase without thinking.

Shit.

The door squeaked open.

She gasped, staring at Duncan who wore nothing but boxers. His thick thighs bulged with tight muscles. His tanned skin glistened in the moonlight that filtered through the window.

And his hair was still perfectly styled.

She reached out and ran her fingers through his thick mane. It never felt like he had any product in it, but something had to make the strands go in different directions.

“What is it with you and your need to mess up my hair?” he asked as he quietly closed the door behind her.

“It’s always so perfect. Too perfect.”

“You’re perfect,” he whispered, tugging her to his chest. His lips brushed against hers with gentle but firm pressure. “I’ve been looking for this shirt.”

His skin sizzled under the touch of her fingertips.

“Stop,” she said as she took two steps backward, putting some needed distance between them. “My parents are right down the hall. They’re light sleepers, and my father owns a shotgun.”

Duncan held up his hands.

“Besides, we need to talk.” She wasn’t sure she could do this while he was in just his underwear, but she couldn’t wait another day. Another hour. Minute. Second. It was making her batshit crazy.

“All right.” He took her by the hand and led her to the queen-sized bed.

That wasn’t going to make this easier.

He helped her onto the bed, actually pulling back the covers, and eased her between the sheets.

“I’m not sleeping here with you,” she said so softly she wasn’t sure he could hear as he climbed in, tucking himself under the comforter and fluffing the pillows.

“I don’t expect you to. Besides, your father would probably have me hung if he found us. I was just a little cold.”

“It’s not my father you should worry about, but my mother. She’d hang you by your balls herself.”

He squirmed, yanking the covers to his chin. “Please, don’t talk like that and have your mother in the same sentence. It’s rude.”

“Sometimes you crack me up.” She shifted to her side, resting her head on her hand, which was propped up by her elbow. “You’re an oxymoron filled with contradiction.”

“Now you’ve just attacked my manhood in a different way.”

She slapped his shoulder playfully. “You know what I mean. Both our lives are filled with Christian values, and we both still go to church and believe in a higher power, yet we don’t follow any of the doctrine.”

“And your point?” He rolled to the side and rested his hand on her hip.

While she worried her parents might walk in at any second, it felt so right to lie next to him.

She shivered.

“What’s going on?” he asked, pulling her closer. His warm breath tickled the skin on her lips. He smelled like a combination of peppermint and pine.

His thumb and forefinger pinched her chin as he tilted her head, kissing her before she ever got the chance to answer his question. A deep groan bubbled through her throat. She caved to her desire and leaned closer, wrapping her arms around his muscular body. His soft skin singed her fingertips.

But the more she avoided telling him, the harder it would be.

She splayed her hand over his chest and pushed. “We really need to talk about what happened.”

“What is there to talk about? I said I was sorry about how I behaved, and I want a second chance. You still care about me, right?” He had the nerve to wink.

“I need you to be serious.” Over the last year, she’d learned that Duncan often skirted issues when they might cause him emotional pain. She could understand that to a certain extent, but right now, she needed him to listen with an open mind and heart.

“Are you going to shoot me down and make me crash and burn?” he asked, cocking his head.

“No.” She palmed his cheek. “But what I’m about to tell you will change things drastically.”

“How so?” He narrowed his eyes.

Her heart thumped in her throat, making it difficult to swallow. “The night we were together after Buddy’s wedding. And again the next morning.”

“What about it?” He brushed a piece of her hair behind her shoulder.

She bit back the tears that threatened to break free and turned her head, not wanting to look him in the eye.

“My birth control failed,” she stated matter-of-factly, blinking her eyes.

He reached out, tipping her head. “What are you saying?” His russet orbs narrowed, then grew wide. “Are you pregnant?”

“Yesterday, before I showed up at your house, I took a home test, and it was positive.”

He shoved a finger in his ear and wiggled. “I don’t think I heard you correctly because we can’t be having a baby.”

“But we are.”

“Holy shit,” he mumbled as he ripped off the covers and jumped from the bed. He ran a hand through his hair, which he only did when he took off his hard hat after a fire or got out of the shower at the station before he styled it. His hair was his obsession. “This is not what I expected you wanted to discuss.”

“You haven’t thought that it might be possible?” Her pulse pounded in her ears.

“I honestly didn’t give it any thought. I suppose I should have, but I didn’t.” He stopped at the foot of the bed, hands on his hips, staring.

She held the sheets to her chin, gripping tightly. Her lungs burned with every breath. Telling him in her parents’ home while everyone was sleeping felt like a manipulation. And maybe it was because if he yelled, they’d come running and she didn’t think he wanted that.

“You’re sure you’re pregnant?”

“Well, I haven’t been to the doctor, but I’m a week late, and the stick I peed on gave me one big old plus sign.”

“Wow,” he mumbled as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Wait a second. This is going to sound like the biggest asshole remark, but I thought you were on the pill. I mean, I’ve seen that little pill box at the station.”

She cocked a brow. “I just told you, it failed.”

“Yeah, I guess it did,” he said with a slight chuckle.

“Not something to laugh at. Why are you not shocked?” Nor did he respond in a way she imagined.

“Oh, trust me, I am. I’m just not sure what to think or feel right now. I’m kind of numb. When I left you that night, I was more concerned about hurting your feelings and protecting my heart than realizing I hadn’t used a condom. Same thing the next morning.”

“If you were so concerned about my feelings, why did you leave the way you did?” She bit down on her tongue. Not only was the comment accusatory but it was said with more venom than she’d intended.

“Fear,” he said. “But it wasn’t so much about being afraid of you as it was knowing how I felt about you.”

“How do you feel? About me and about me being pregnant?” She held her breath as he climbed back on the bed and slipped between the sheets once again.

“I could rattle off a dozen emotions that I feel right now, but that doesn’t deal with the situation.” He rolled to his side, taking her in his arms.

She thought about squirming away, but it felt good pressed against his chest, staring into his dark, sweet eyes as if she belonged in this spot. “Please. I need to know what you’re thinking.”

He kissed her nose. “I’m thinking you need to make a doctor’s appointment and we have some long discussions ahead of us, but it doesn’t change the fact that I want to date you.”

She buried her face in his neck and started laughing so hard she not only worried she’d snort, but that it would wake up the entire house.

“Why is that funny?”

“I have no idea, but it beats crying.”

Duncan’s body stiffened. “You know I want you to have this baby. I mean, I don’t believe in abortions.”

“Neither do I, so it’s not something I’m considering.” She swallowed her laughter as it turned into a guttural sob. “I don’t expect anything from you.”

“Well, I’m not walking away, but I honestly don’t know what to do next, and I think we need to focus on your sister.”

“Thank you.” She rolled her feet to the floor. He hadn’t responded like she thought he might with demands of marriage, and that was a relief, but part of her wanted a declaration of love, or something.

He grabbed her and pulled her back to the bed. “I don’t want you to go just yet, okay?”

“You’re confusing me,” she whispered as he tucked her backside into his chest, his knees tucked up against hers.

“I don’t mean to. I care about you more than I’ve let on, and that alone scares me. A baby freaks me right the fuck out. The fact that it’s with you?” He kissed her temple, snuggling in closer. “I think I’m in shock.”

She let out a long breath and closed her eyes tight. She had no idea what any of this meant or where it would take them, but at least she’d told him the truth.

All she needed to do now was leave this bedroom before she fell asleep.