Edges

Chapter Two

“Your friends shouldn’t have left you.” Mick lifted Shanti’s shirt off, as Shanti sat on a bench at the rear of one of the lodge’s locker rooms. Mick had already cleaned Shanti’s face up using a first aid kit given to him by one of the bartenders. He seemed to know everyone at the lodge. “Should never ski alone, it’s dangerous.” He examined Shanti’s back, fingers trailing deliciously over his skin.

“I told them to go ahead,” Shanti said. “Wendell and Callie are way better skiers than I am.” He was trying to concentrate on his words, and not Mick’s hands touching him. “Didn’t seem fair to make them wait for me.”

“You’ve got another big bruise on your back, but it looks like you’ll live, Shanti .”

Shanti didn’t like the way he emphasized his name. Again he felt like the Shanti of yore, picked on and teased unmercifully by school mates. He was a grown man now, had a business degree and owned a shop. He worked out and had a fit body, and the bones in his face had finally filled out, giving a more masculine appeal to his former effeminate looks. He was a man now and he looked like a man, despite having what many declared to be a girl’s name. What did they say about homophobia and misogyny being related? But Mick didn’t seem exactly straight. Not with his smirking remarks about wanting to undress him.

Could he be a…homophobic…homo? It was definitely a thing Shanti had encountered in the past. Either way, that slight chuckle, the vague taunting tone of Mick’s voice when he said Shanti . Shanti had to fight not to be thrown back in time, wondering if he was about to be shoved into a locker or given an atomic wedgie.

Mick rounded the bench and stood before him. “Wait, did you say Wendell and Callie? Wendell and Callie Tibault?”

Shanti gingerly pulled his shirt back on. “Yeah, you know them?”

Mick sat down beside him and began removing his ski boots. “My brothers and I built the addition on their house. How do you know them?”

A builder. Nice. Explained the body on him. “Wendell does the books at my shop,” Shanti said.

Mick stood and went to a nearby locker, pulling out a pair of work boots. “Oh yeah?” he said as he turned back. “Wendell’s a good guy.”

“You know everyone, huh?”

Mick shrugged as he sat down beside him again, tugging on his boots. “Born and raised here. Know a lot of people.”

“Not me, I’m from Boston,” he offered. “Still pretty new to this town.”

Mick chuckled. “Yeah, didn’t think you were a local.”

Somehow it felt like an insult, but it wasn’t really anything he could call him out on, so Shanti let it go. Instead, he dug his phone out of his jacket and sent a text to Wendell.

“Friends or not, they shouldn’t have left you alone on the trail,” Mick muttered. “If I hadn’t been watching you, who knows. What if you’d knocked yourself out? Do you know how cold these mountains get at night?”

Shanti sent the text, then turned and looked directly at him. “Why were you watching me?”

Mick shrugged as he laced up his boots. “I dunno. You looked different.”

“Different? How?”

He chuckled. “Scared shitless for one. And uh, better looking than most people on the mountain today, I guess.”

Shanti stared at him until he glanced his way. “You think I’m good looking?” He smirked, twitching his eyebrows comically.

Mick grinned, then turned away. “You were . Now you look like you lost a fight with a mountain lion.”

Shanti smiled. He’d seen the cut on his face in the bathroom mirror, a small, deep scratch just beneath his eye. It wasn’t that bad. “I guess I’m ruined now,” he said, playing along, heart racing as he felt this leading somewhere good. “Please, look away, I’m hideous.”

His phone vibrated with a text. It was from Wendell. They were all the way over at another lodge, and wanted to get a couple more runs in before the sun went down. He’d nearly forgotten that he came down a completely different trail from where they’d started. “They want to ski some more,” he said to Mick, checking his watch. “I guess I’ll saddle up at the bar while I wait for them.”

“I can give you a ride,” Mick said, green eyes turning his way. “I mean, if you want to go home. You got pretty banged up, and your clothes are soaked. Can’t imagine you want to hang out on a bar stool right now.”

Shanti’s pulse sped. “Are you sure? You’ve done so much already; I don’t want to ruin your day.”

He waved a hand at him. “It’s no problem. You live in the village?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Nah,” he said. “I’m outside of the tourist area, got a house in the boonies, the way I like it.”

Shanti stood and tugged on his jacket. “That sounds nice. Unfortunately, my business is contingent upon being in the tourist area. I own a gift shop.”

“What’s your shop called?” he asked.

He smirked at Mick, then rolled his eyes, anticipating a taunting reaction. “ Shanti . My shop is called Shanti Gifts .”

Mick’s eyebrows lowered. “You named your shop after yourself?”

“No,” he said, laughing. “My parents did. They said it would bring good luck to the store.”

Mick smiled. “Your parents sound strange, man.”

“My parents are dead.”

Mick’s grin slid away.

Why did I just say that? Shanti never brought up his parents, and he certainly didn’t want to talk about it to this stranger. It just blurted out. Had he wanted to shock him? To wipe the smirk off his confident, handsome face?

Well, it worked. Mick’s wind-burned cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink. “Shit, I’m sorry. When did they die?”

“Almost a year ago.” Feeling awkward now, the surging arousal of just moments before had fled like a frightened deer. Shanti gathered up his ski bags. “You sure about the ride?”

Mick stared at him for a long moment, then scooped up his jacket and his own bags. “Yeah, it’s no problem.” They moved toward the exit together. “I’m sorry I laughed at your name.”

Shanti shrugged. “You’re not the first. I’m used to it.”

“Still sorry,” he said, in that gruff way Shanti was starting to find endearing. “It’s a nice name.”

Well , Shanti thought, I got him to be nice. And all he had to do was apply a bit of guilt—something he personally knew all about.

****

As they walked alongside each other through the parking lot, Mick turned to Shanti, frowning. “I think I know your shop. I mean, I haven’t been there, but do you by any chance sell, um, designer dog biscuits?”

Shanti grinned. “Yeah, we do. A lady in town makes them. Almost everything we sell is local.”

“My brother gave me some of those last Christmas, for the dogs. They loved them. Now that I think of it, I remember the name from the box. Shanti Gifts .”

“Yeah, that’s it all right.” Shanti grew quiet as they found Mick’s vehicle, a yellow FJ Cruiser. Mick loaded their gear into the back, and Shanti climbed into the passenger seat, then remained quiet as they drove. His mood was quickly plummeting with all the talk of his parents and the shop. He tried to shake the feelings of sadness and remorse, but they were like a stampede of horses. Once let out of the gate, it was hell pushing them back in. He stared out the window as his gut clenched, taking deep breaths and willing his depression away.

“So where do you actually live?” Mick asked as the truck pulled out onto the access road.

“In the house behind the shop,” he said. “Just head down to the village, it’s right next to that big ski outlet place.”

“Ah, yeah. I know where it is.” He glanced at Shanti. “Must be cool. Owning your own store.”

Shanti shrugged. He didn’t know this man, wasn’t about to spill all his secret angst to him. He’d looked like a weakling enough for one day in front of this brawny wet dream, he wasn’t about to start crying over his grief and regrets. And he certainly wasn’t going to reveal his emotionally crippling guilt to a stranger. It was best not to discuss the shop at all.

Especially since he was hoping to get a date out of all this, and didn’t want to scare the guy off. He was the first thing Shanti had desired, the first thing to remind him he was alive since his parents’ accident.

They drove down off the access road and into the village, a snow dusted gingerbread looking section of town, with lots of pubs and shops and restaurants with rustic names. Christmas wreaths hung on every lamppost. The sidewalks were clogged with tourists and skiers headed to happy hour or out to dinner. His home and his store were located in between the Alpine Ski Shop and a restaurant called The Bear Claw, and Mick pulled the truck into the parking lot.

The sun was falling low in the sky, and strings of white lights dotted the front walkways of the establishments, including Shanti Gifts . He hadn’t put the lights up himself, those were his parents’ doing. He hadn’t changed a thing at the shop, he’d simply maintained it. His parents knew what they were doing, so he applied the ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ mentality to all business dealings.

Mick put the vehicle in park, and stared through the windshield at the store. Wanting to avoid any awkwardness with regards to inviting him in, Shanti had already devised an excuse.

“Come inside for a minute, I want to give you some of those homemade dog biscuits. It’s the least I can do to thank you,” he said. “For the ride, and helping me get down the mountain after my wipe out.”

Mick turned to face him. Again, his eyes made Shanti’s stomach lurch. This was the best-looking man he’d ever seen, and for the first time in ages, he felt the need to possess someone, to get his hooks into him, before he swam away. But Mick hesitated, frowning, and Shanti was afraid he was going to make his excuses and hit the road. But finally, he nodded. “Okay, thanks. Not necessary, though.”

Shanti got out of the truck before Mick could talk himself out of it, and Mick followed. Leading him in through the front of the store, the bell on the door jingled. He spotted Kelsey, the young blond woman who manned the register for him, getting ready to close up for the night. “Hey, Kelsey,” he shouted.

“Hey!” she said. “How was skiing?” She was wiping down the glass counter, but paused when she saw Mick behind him. “Oh. Hi.”

Mick nodded at her, then moved off, examining the gift items silently, his posture hunched and guarded. Shanti felt a vague swell of pride as Mick’s eyes looked appreciatively around. The place was warm and inviting. His parents had it decorated with wind chimes and fountains and soothing, colored lights, and with the multitude of mystical candles and incense sticks, everything smelled like pine and sandalwood. New age music drifted softly throughout the store, adding to the peaceful euphoria.

Kelsey gasped. “Shanti, what happened to your face?”

“Skiing sucked, I wiped out,” he said. “Just a scrape. Be with you one minute, Kelsey.”

Shanti followed Mick, who’d wandered into the back of the store. He was staring at the framed photo over one of the fountains. Damn, he went right to it. “That your folks?” Mick asked.

“Yeah,” Shanti said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Wendell thought it was a good idea to put this up, sort of a tribute.” His father wore his circular, John Lennon glasses in the photo, his arm around Shanti’s mother, her dark blond hair tumbling long and wavy over her shoulders.

“Your mother was beautiful,” Mick said, then glanced at Shanti. “You look like her,” he added before moving on and busying himself with a rack of tee shirts.

Desperate to make conversation with his burly savior, Shanti moved gingerly over and stood beside him, gesturing to the bookshelf on the wall. “Hey, you’re an outdoorsy guy, right? See here, we’ve got these books written by a local guy, all sorts of great hiking trails in the area.”

Mick raised an eyebrow at the books and huffed derisively, then turned away, giving his attention to the hand-blown glass items. “Don’t need a book to tell me where to hike in Vermont. I was born here.”

Frustration tapped Shanti’s temples. What the hell was with this guy? Had Shanti imagined his flirting earlier? All that stuff about him being good looking, wanting to undress him in case he missed something important ? He decided to push his luck a bit. “Well, if you know better trails, maybe you can show me sometime. I like hiking.”

Mick paused as he reached for a knickknack, and turned to face Shanti. “I don’t date.”

Shanti shook his head. “Excuse me?”

“Going hiking. Sounds like you’re asking me on a date.”

Laughing in surprise, Shanti glanced at the floor and ran three fingers through his hair. “Oh. Um, well, I was just talking about going hiking, but good to know. I guess.”

Mick met his eyes, then turned away and moved on to the wood carvings. Shanti watched him for a moment, then headed back toward the front of the store. Kelsey was polishing the locally made jewelry and trinkets.

“I’m gonna grab some of Donna Rogers’ dog biscuits, just enter them in the computer for me, will you?” he said to Kelsey.

She looked over his head to Mick, and Shanti followed her gaze. Mick had ambled back toward the front and now examined a set of snowflake ornaments like they were the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen. He seemed awkward and uncomfortable since they’d arrived, the friendly, touchy-feely guy he’d met at the ski area no longer in attendance. Shanti felt the brief reprieve from his bad mood leaking away. He’d been certain Mick was interested in him. Now he felt silly, and he wasn’t sure why.

“Sure, Shanti,” Kelsey said. “How many biscuits?”

“Hey Mick,” Shanti called out. “How many dogs do you have?”

The big guy turned, warming Shanti with his dimpled grin. “Five.”

Shanti laughed. “Five?”

He shrugged. “I like dogs.”

Shanti glanced at Kelsey. “Five it is.”

After retrieving the dog biscuits from the store room, he went to find Mick, but he was nowhere in the shop. He moved back to the register and stuffed the biscuits in a bag, glancing at Kelsey. “Did you see—”

“He went outside,” she said.

Shanti frowned. “Did he? Huh. Okay, then.”

He looked over the counter, through the window, and saw Mick leaning against his truck with a phone to his ear. Shanti started toward the door when Kelsey said, “Hey, Shanti? Can I say something without you getting mad?”

He paused and turned back to her, smiling. “I’d never get mad at you, don’t be weird. What’s the matter?”

He expected her to ask for a day off or something, which he’d happily give her. He had no social life and manned the store when needed without complaint. But she shocked him when she said, “Mick Paulson isn’t someone you wanna be getting involved with.”

He lowered the bag of dog biscuits, frowning. “You know him?”

“Not personally. But I know of him,” she said.

“Um...okay. But I’m hardly getting involved . I mean, I just met him, I didn’t even know his last name.” Mick Paulson. It was sure as shit burned into his memory now, though. “Why do you say that, though?” he whispered, looking over his shoulder as though he expected Mick to be there. But he was still leaning against his truck outside, on the phone.

Kelsey fidgeted with a crystal on the countertop, not meeting his eyes. “It’s just...he’s like you. I mean, you know.” She looked up at him.

“Gay?” Shanti grinned at her discomfort. Kelsey was barely out of college, and she was cute as hell. They got along fine, but he still wasn’t used to her shyness.

“Yeah,” she said, letting out a small giggle. “He’s gay, but my friend David hooked up with him once. And like, he said like, Mick’s a real player, and he treats guys like shit. He goes to that seedy bar down in Bear Creek and picks up guys, but he never calls anyone back. That’s what David said anyway. Could be sour grapes, but, I just don’t want you to get, you know...um...”

“Hurt,” Shanti said. “You don’t want me to get hurt, like your friend did.”

She nodded. “Yeah, hurt. I mean, I like you. You’re a nice boss, and I liked your parents a lot, you know?”

Shanti held his hands up. “It’s fine, Kelsey. He just gave me a ride home. I’m not about to start picking out wedding rings, I promise.”

“Okay,” she said. “Okay, just saying.” Her face flushed as she went back to her closing up duties.

“But thank you,” he said. “Seriously, Kelsey, I appreciate it, I do.”

She smiled at him. “Okay.”

He decided to walk away before her embarrassment made her head pop like a tick saturated in blood; her fair cheeks were already flushing. Kelsey was sweet, and he was moved by her wanting to watch out for him. But his gut clenched at her words. Mick’s a real player.

So what? Shanti wasn’t looking for anything serious. Was he? And he treats guys like shit. Well, so be it, he still saved Shanti’s ass that afternoon. So player or not, he was getting his custom dog biscuits.

Mick looked up when Shanti stepped out of the shop into the cold, evening air, and stuffed his cell phone into his pocket. He smiled when he saw the bag of dog biscuits. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it.” He took the bag from Shanti, and jerked his head toward the house. “I put your stuff over there.”

Shanti glanced over and saw his skis and bag leaned against the house. Damn, this guy was really ready to lay tracks and get the hell out of there. Well, Shanti wasn’t about to beg him to stay. Especially after what Kelsey said.

“Okay, well thanks again, Mick. It was great meeting you. Have a good night—”

Mick grabbed the front of his jacket and tugged him in, capturing his lips in a hard kiss.

Shanti swooned. Mick’s lips were soft but firm, stubble rough against his chin. Shanti felt a loss of control as his tongue slid between Mick’s lips, he just needed more, needed to taste him. Mick tugged him closer, firm grip still on his jacket, and their tongues met, swirling together. His cock sprang to life, thickening and throbbing with each glide of the other man’s tongue against his.

Then suddenly, Mick let him go and broke the kiss. “Thanks for the treats,” he said, and with his bag of dog biscuits, headed for the driver’s side door.

Shanti stood in the cold parking lot, frowning as he watched him unlock the truck, open the door, and toss the bag onto the passenger seat. Let him go. Don’t say anything. Have some dignity.

“Wait, wait a minute.” Okay, or don’t have dignity, whatever.

Mick paused before climbing into the truck, dark brows rising over green eyes. “What is it?”

Shanti laughed. “You kiss me like that and then just leave?”

“You didn’t like it?” Mick asked, shrugging his big shoulders.

“Of course I liked it,” Shanti said. “It made my toes curl. But why did you kiss me?”

Mick’s eyes looked him up and down. “I wanted to see if you taste as good as you look. You do. What’s the problem?”

Shanti let out a puff of air, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He shrugged, rolling his eyes. “No problem. Whatever. Carry on, then, hope your dogs like the biscuits.”

He turned and headed back to the store. Behind him, he heard the Cruiser door slam, and expected to hear it start up, but instead heard footfalls. He turned around and saw Mick walking toward him. “What’s the issue, you can’t handle a simple kiss? Why do I feel like I need to apologize?”

Shanti faced him. “You don’t need to apologize. Just felt like a tease, that’s all.”

Mick shook his head. “You think I’m a tease?”

“Kind of, yeah.”

Mick crossed his arms over his chest. “So what, you want to fuck?”

Frowning, Shanti took a step back. Never had he been so simultaneously angered and turned on by a simple question. “Do I want to fuck? You mean right now ?”

Checking his watch, Mick said, “I have plans tonight, but I can probably fit a quickie in if that’s what you want. I don’t bottom though, so you can either let me fuck you or we can suck each other off or something.”

Letting out a shocked cackle, Shanti placed his hands on his head. “Oh, wow . Look, forget it, okay? I thought maybe I’d see if you wanted to get together sometime, but either you’re trying really hard to come off as a badass, or this is what you consider normal, in which case, you’re just not my type.”

Mick took a step closer to him, cocking his head to the side. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m everybody’s type.”

“Modest too,” Shanti said.

Mick let out an exasperated sigh and dropped his arms to his sides. “Look, I told you, I don’t date,” he said. “I like you. I’m attracted to you. So if you want to fuck, I’m down with that. But that’s it.”

“What the hell does that mean? You don’t date . What is that?” Irritation pulsed at Shanti’s temples. He’d been depressed for so long, the blatant rush of angry blood through his body felt strange. This guy was irritating the hell out of him, but he felt something. Finally, for the first time in almost a year, he felt something besides sadness and apathy.

“What are you asking me?” Mick said. “I don’t date. I can’t say it any clearer.”

Shanti laughed, and it made Mick’s frown deepen. “You’re a grown man, how can you not date? Is that some kind of macho, lone wolf bullshit, or are you trying to come off as shady and mysterious? Because frankly, a statement like that just makes you look like an immature tool.” What are you doing, Shanti? Shut up.

Mick’s face flushed, and his jaw jutted out as his teeth clenched. He closed the distance between them. “Listen, I know things are probably different where you come from, and you and your fancy little friends from the city go to martini bars and bridal shows and have couples weekends away or whatever. And that’s fine, but that life doesn’t work for me, and that’s the way it is. So have a great time selling your herbs and crystals and going on dates. But I’m afraid none of that will ever include me. Is that clear enough for you?”

Shanti swallowed hard, rage and humiliation making him go still. “Thanks for the ride,” he said.

“Thanks for the biscuits,” Mick said, and moved off toward his truck.

“Fucking tool,” Shanti muttered, shaking his head.

This time Mick climbed in, started the engine, and took off out of the parking lot.

Shanti turned and stormed back into his shop. Kelsey looked up when he slammed the door and began pacing.

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

Shanti stopped and looked at her. “I’m not sure.” Then a laugh bubbled out of him, uncontrolled.

Kelsey grinned in response. “I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you really laugh,” she said. “What did he do?”

He snickered, and leaned against the counter, glancing outside, down the crowded street where Mick’s truck had gone. “I think I just had my first kiss, first fight, and then a terrible break up with someone I only just met two hours ago. All in a matter of minutes.”

Kelsey giggled. “You city boys move fast.”

“Not fast enough, apparently. Couldn’t even get him to slow down long enough to give me his number. He doesn’t date .”

“He said that?” Kelsey said. “Seriously?”

Shanti tapped the counter. “Go home. I’ll finish up here. Just lock the doors when you leave, I’m gonna go shower this experience off.”

“Okay, have a good night, and forget about that loser.”

“Will do,” he said as he walked through the shop, and then through the back door into his house.

But as he turned on the shower and undressed, examining the bruises on his torso, all he could think of was the feel of Mick’s fingers on his flesh. And the exquisite taste of his tongue in his mouth.

As he stepped into the shower, he found himself erect again. Leaning his head against the tiles, he soaped himself up and closed his eyes, gliding a tightened fist over his cock. He imagined he was back in the woods at the mountain, lying flat, vulnerable and shaken as Mick undressed him.

Panting, fist pumping his soapy cock, he imagined that Mick had kept going, undressing him fully and taking him right there on the cold, snow packed earth. He came in seconds, the orgasm hitting him so quickly his knees buckled and he had to lean against the wall for support. “Holy shit,” he whispered, catching his breath.

It had been ages since he’d even thought about anyone this way—anyone who actually existed, that is. He still masturbated occasionally, but these days it was always a languid, trying affair to release his body’s needs, excitement tampered by his crushing, ever-present depression.

“Holy shit,” he muttered again, silently thankful that he’d never see Mick again. Anyone who had this effect on him would be trouble, and adding the fact that he was an asshole to the mix guaranteed drama.

He’d already had enough drama to last him the rest of his life.