Edges

Chapter Six

Mick set the plates down on the table, glancing at Shanti, who looked stricken as he fingered his wine glass, a deep, thoughtful scowl pinching his brows. Suggesting they go out to Stiffies had been a gamble, and unfortunately, Shanti didn’t seem pleased about it.

He was beautiful as ever after showering and changing into jeans and a rust colored shirt that brought out his pale brown eyes and accentuated his freshly washed, dark blond hair. But since Mick’s suggestion, he could tell Shanti wasn’t happy. That dark vibe he’d sensed in him yesterday made the warm, dimly lit dining room chilly, even with the woodstove burning hot in the corner.

“Wow,” Shanti said, looking down at his plate. “This looks amazing.” His somber eyes warmed a bit as he watched Mick take the seat across from him. “So you can cook, too. Is there anything you can’t do?”

Mick grinned, though his own mood was sinking in response to Shanti’s morose aura. “Save your compliments until you’ve tasted it.”

He knew the meal would taste great, despite his feigned modesty. The venison was fresh, and he’d sautéed it in his homemade honey and mustard sauce that never failed to impress, served with grilled asparagus and a baked potato. Shanti took a bite, and finally his scowl smoothed out as his eyebrows lifted in surprise. He looked at Mick. “Holy crap, this is delicious.”

“Glad you like it,” Mick said, taking a long swallow of wine.

They ate silently for several minutes, the awkwardness thick. Mick had thought making dinner for a love interest would be strange, but that wasn’t the problem. In fact, it felt nice cooking for Shanti, and satisfied that odd need inside him to care for the guy. But there was a huge elephant in the room that still hadn’t been fully addressed.

Finally, Shanti put his fork down, his scowl returning as he looked at Mick. “Go ahead,” Mick urged. “Say what you want to say.”

Taking a deep breath, Shanti wiped his lips with his napkin, then clasped his hands on the table. “You confuse me.”

Nodding, Mick said, “Okay. Why?”

He gestured to the table. “This. Inviting me here. The, ah, good time we had in the sun room. It’s really nice, I mean, you’re so hospitable and I feel welcome here.”

“You are,” Mick said. “I like having you here. More than I can say.”

Leaning on his elbows, Shanti searched his eyes. “I understand this is new for you, all this, dating or whatever. But I don’t understand why you want to go to the bar tonight. If you’re bored with me already and want to meet another guy, I’ll be disappointed but I’ll understand. Just be honest.”

Mick shook his head. “That’s not it. I told you, I want to go with you . I want you to shake off your sadness and have some new experiences. I’m trying to have a new experience with you now. Having dinner together. Now you can try to enjoy something that…I engage in.”

Shanti’s lower lip curved over his chin as he frowned. “Making dinner for someone is not the same as cruising for ass at a gay bar. I appreciate your effort on my behalf, but you must realize you’re asking something a bit more extreme for my part of the bargain.”

Mick sighed. He hesitated in expressing fully why he wanted to do this, because he wasn’t sure he understood it himself. The intimacy they’d shared had changed things, deepened his connection to this man in a way he’d never experienced. He was having feelings. Unfamiliar feelings he needed to wrap his head around. His gut churned as he looked at Shanti, feeling anxiety and that other thing . That foreign, unfamiliar thing that told him he wanted something that continued beyond tonight.

Seeming to sense his apprehension, Shanti slid his chair around the table so he was sitting beside Mick, and grabbed his hand. “Just tell me what you’re thinking, please, even if it’s not what I want to hear. Why do you want to mentor me in picking up strangers?” He chuckled. “Is my inexperience in this realm disturbing enough that you feel compelled to take action?”

“No, I just…I told you I’m not wired for monogamy.”

“And I told you I understood and accepted that.” Shanti’s brows rose. “So why try to include me at all in your…extracurriculars?”

I shrugged, struggling to put my feelings into words. “Maybe I want you to get comfortable with it. So when I step out, I can include you.”

“As what? Like your wingman? That doesn’t sound fun for me.”

“No, not my wingman. More like I want to…share with you.”

“Share. Like intimately share? Another person? Is that what you mean?”

“Yes. If that’s something you think you’d enjoy. I’m not ready to give up other people, but I would like it if you would…like to be a part of that.”

Shanti chuckled and took a sip of wine. “I honestly don’t know because I’ve never done it. I guess I should be flattered you want to include me in your romps? Or is this something you do all the time?”

“Never. I never do it.”

“So why now? Why with me?”

I shook my head. “Not totally sure but I think I might be feeling a little possessive of you.

Shanti let out a full belly laugh.

“What?”

“Mick, I don’t understand you. You talk about feeling possessive as you’re goading me to hook up with other guys. Can you see the conflict there? Make it make sense.”

“I can’t.” I took a sip of wine. Shanti’s eyes were on me, waiting for a more logical explanation. “I can’t fully explain it, okay? These feelings are…well, they’re new.”

Shanti’s eyes narrowed. “New.”

“Yes! New. As in I’ve never had them before. Like this. This is new.”

“Because of…” He shrugged. “Me?”

“Yeah. Yeah, because of you.”

Shanti’s frown smoothed and turned into a smile. “You’re blushing,” he said. “Holy shit, you’re actually blushing.”

“I am not,” Mick said, stabbing a piece of venison with his fork. “Look, just forget it, we don’t have to go to the bar. It was a stupid idea.”

Shanti leaned further toward him, still grinning. “I can’t believe it. You like me.”

Mick snorted as he glanced at Shanti’s grinning face. “I did but now I’m starting to change my mind.”

Snickering, Shanti shook his head. “Yeah you do. You like me.”

Mick smiled at him, then looked back down at his plate. “You’re okay. And I like the sound you make when you come.”

Shanti didn’t laugh, just kept studying him. “You’re not expecting me to actually pick someone up, are you? If we go to the bar?”

Mick put his fork down. “Not expecting you to do anything you don’t want to. Just to have an open mind.”

Leaning back, Shanti sipped his wine, eyes on Mick. “I’m still not sure I get this.”

“That’s not a no.”

“It’s not a yes, Mick. Yet.”

Mick shuffled his chair closer, and Shanti’s eyes got that drowsy look of desire, like before. Mick touched his face, threading fingers through his dark blond hair. “I don’t feel ready to change my whole life after knowing you for two days, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“But I’d like to figure out a way to keep you involved in it. I don’t know what this thing is I’m feeling, I only know it’s different. I don’t know if it will change things for me, or make me want a different type of life. I’m still sorting it out. Will you give me the patience to do that? Would you even want to? Do you…want me?”

A shivery breath left Shanti, and he leaned his face into Mick’s touch. “Damn you. This better not be a strategy you use regularly to talk guys into threesomes.”

Mick smiled. “Nothing about this is regular.”

Blinking slowly, Shanti rested his hand on Mick’s knee. “No, it’s not. For me either. And yes, I want you. More than I fucking care to, if I’m being honest. So sure. I’m open to trying new things. But no promises.”

A relieved breath left Mick. “Good. Let’s try to have some fun then.”

“I have conditions.”

“Oh. That’s fair.” Mick leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Okay. Let’s hear them.”

Shanti drummed his fingers on the table, eyes cast down. Finally, he looked at Mick again. “What if we go there and you find someone else? Will I be left hanging? Because that doesn’t sound like having some fun. For me.”

Mick took Shanti’s hand in his. “If we do this, it’s about us. You and me. Whatever happens, we leave together. Whatever happens, when it’s all over, you come home with me.”

Shanti chewed his lip, indecision making his eyes shift back and forth. “So, I’m just gonna try on a different life for the night. Like borrowing your jacket or something. Only instead of a jacket it’s a club filled with sweaty guys.”

Throwing his head back, Mick laughed. “Yeah,” he said. “Something like that.”

Shanti ran his hands up Mick’s thighs, sending a rush of excitement through him. He moved in close, his eyes darting from Mick’s eyes to his lips and back again. “You’re mine at the end of the night either way?”

Mick swallowed hard, his pulse speeding up as that other thing emotion welled again. “Yours,” he whispered. “That’s a promise.”

Shanti kissed him, and Mick grasped his face and made the kiss deep and hard. When he pulled back, they were both breathing heavily. “I’m in,” Shanti said. “I hope I don’t regret this.”

“I’ll make sure you don’t.”

The dogs, who’d been resting by the fireplace in the other room, suddenly sprang to their feet and ran in a pack toward the front door. Moments later, Mick heard the door open, and his brother, Ricky’s voice called out. “Mick, you home?”

He reflexively moved back away from Shanti. A flush of shame twinged inside. Not for himself or his sexuality, but for his first instinct being to hide it. That wasn’t the way he wanted to be, not when he was trying to prove to Shanti he could offer him something worth having. He swallowed down his discomfort, and shouted, “In here, Ricky.”

Shanti seemed to sense his discomfort, and moved his chair back a bit, away from Mick.

He heard his brother cooing at the dogs, then his heavy footsteps as he made his way into the dining room. Ricky appeared, then paused when he spotted Shanti. He was tall like Mick, but thinner, wool coat hanging loosely on his frame. He removed his baseball cap, revealing matted brown hair, and said, “Oh, sorry. Didn’t know you had company.”

“No problem,” Mick said. “This is Shanti. My brother, Rick.”

“Nice to meet you,” Shanti said. He made a small movement, like he was about to get up and shake hands, but remained seated, like he wasn’t sure what the rules were here.

Ricky moved hesitantly into the room, twisting his cap in his hands, his shoulders tensing awkwardly. “Um, I was just gonna run a couple things by you, but it can wait. You gonna be around later?”

Ricky knew that although Mick had many guests, they rarely spent the night. But tonight, hopefully, would be different. “We’re heading out tonight. I can stop by your place tomorrow if you want. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing that can’t wait. Ah, I’ll catch you tomorrow then.” He offered Shanti a quick glance. “Nice to meet you.”

He turned to leave the room, and Mick stood. “I’ll walk you out,” he said, then glanced at Shanti. “Be right back.”

Shanti nodded, and pretended to be very interested in his food, poking at his asparagus with his fork.

Mick caught up with Ricky at the door, the dogs circling his long legs. “Easy, pups,” he said, offering them pats on the head. “Sorry to intrude,” Ricky whispered, wincing.

“Nah,” Mick waved him off. “How’d everything go today?”

“Good,” he said. “Tyler got a lot of walk-ins. The fucking cold is on our side this year, I guess.” He looked over Mick’s head toward the dining room. “So, where you going tonight?”

“Stiffies.”

Ricky raised his eyebrows, a smirk tilting his lips. “Doing it backwards, aren’t you bro? You’ve already got the guy here.”

“Just going down for a couple beers,” he said.

Ricky nodded, his face registering confusion. He glanced toward the dining room again, frowning. “Aiight. See you tomorrow.”

“Yep, see you then,” Mick said.

When his brother had gone, Mick returned to Shanti, who leaned back in his chair sipping his wine. “Well,” Shanti said. “That wasn’t awkward at all.”

Mick chuckled softly, but couldn’t meet his eyes. “People are always walking in here, don’t get much privacy. So, you ready to head out soon?”

“Yeah,” Shanti said. “If you are. Am I dressed okay?”

“Course,” Mick said. “It’s about as casual as you can get at Stiffies. You look great.”

Shanti stood up and began clearing the plates. “So how’s this gonna work?” he asked.

For a moment Mick wasn’t sure what he was referring to, his mind still on his brother’s visit. “What do you mean?”

They moved to the sink and Mick scraped the leftovers into the garbage disposal. “The bar,” Shanti said. “What do you want me to do?”

Mick grinned at him, his mood lifting. Part of him was dying to show Shanti off to all the backstabbing locals that talked shit about him. Stuffy shop owner or not, Shanti was indisputably a damn fine catch, and he was certain to be drooled over by the clientele. But that wasn’t what tonight was about. “I think you should go in first,” he said. “I’ll wait a few minutes before I go in, so no one knows we’re together.”

Shanti froze. “So, you’re not even gonna talk to me?”

“Of course I am. But to anyone else’s eye, you’re a single guy I just met at the bar. It won’t put anyone off from hitting on you. Until you actually walk out the door with someone, they’ll see you as fair game.”

Shanti swallowed audibly.

“Don’t be nervous,” Mick said. “It’s just a bar, like any other. Pool tables. Dart boards. Music.”

Still, Shanti remained quiet as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. On a whim, Mick grabbed him and pressed their bodies together, kissing him long and deep. Shanti responded, his lips softening and parting to let Mick’s tongue in. Mick’s fingers raked through his hair as he broke the kiss, looking into his eyes. “This is gonna be fun. I promise.”