Edging Obsession

31

T he guy who pulled me into the car throws me in a windowless room. Its sole companion is a chair, sitting in the middle of the room, and nothing else. A bare bulb hangs from a wire in the corner, and from what I can tell, there are markings on the ground. I imagine it’s blood. In Miles’ line of work, it wouldn’t be too far from the truth.

I attempt to dash out the door, except he blocks my way. He’s on the skinny side, darker skin, and a frayed beard. Without warning, he smacks me in the face, knocking me to the side, and rambles on in a foreign language. Another man comes from behind, similar in appearance, and tosses a water bottle at me, laughing as it hits me in the head. The door closes, leaving me in these confines. The body odor of the men lingers, and I back away toward the farthest wall.

Never in a million years would I think I’d be kidnapped and held in a dingy room, unaware of my future. A future I had planned with Miles.

Miles.

When I close my eyes, I see the horror on his face as he tried to catch up to me. He pulled out a gun and shot at the men like something from an action-packed thriller movie. His screams to run are disturbing to remember, because I did as he said, yet they caught me anyways. The harsh reality of his Mafia life and my predicament has finally seeped in. My mother’s words come to the forefront. Is this the kind of life you want, Jules? Violence everywhere?

It isn’t the life I’ve wanted, but if I chose differently, I’d lose Miles. My glorious rockstar. A man I fell head over heels for in the blink of an eye. He always feels safe. Until now.

My body slides down the wall, hugging my middle. There’s yelling in a nearby room, but it’s in German, and not knowing what’s said has me rocking back and forth.

My eyes close and I sing the lyrics to Butterfly Winds . You’re like a butterfly, colorful and free, my soul weeps from loss / I venture from place to place, without a trace / but in my heart, I know the wind will sweep you in my direction / and we will remain forever / spreading our wings and diving into life’s abyss.

It’s like the song was written for Miles and me. I release a small whimper that echoes in this dingy room.

Will Miles find me?

Are they planning to kill me?

I bend my legs against my torso, resting my head on my knees, and fall asleep.

I’m woken again by shouting from another room. This time, I hear a man respond in English. Bastian was reckless. I’ll find someone to get his body from the park. Who’s the girl? A man responds, but it’s difficult to understand his thick accent, and then I hear the English one laugh and speak. I told him he’ll let his guard down, and I’ll catch his lamb. Let him know we have her, and if he doesn’t back off, she’ll come back to him in pieces.

They are going to kill me. My body trembles uncontrollably, praying Miles comes for me. The light switches off and I gasp as I’m sent into pitch blackness. I hear footsteps retreat and then disappear. Assuming I’m alone in the building, I withdraw inside, singing songs and whispering I love you to Miles and my parents.

The corner light flickers on, my eyes blinking to adjust to it. There’s movement outside the door, followed by arguing. Again, it’s in German, so I can’t decipher what they’re saying. The hard rambling of the language pricks at my nerves.

The door flies open and the two guys who put me in here walk in, slamming the door behind them. I scramble to my feet, back glued to the wall while they prowl in front of me, eyes raking over my body. I’m scared as hell. One guy takes a knife out of his pocket and cleans underneath his fingernails, clucking his tongue on the roof of his mouth. My eyes shift to the other who is rubbing his chin and grabbing his crotch at the same time.

My God, they’re going to rape me then cut me into pieces.

I step to the right, and the second guy mimics my move.

“Please don’t hurt me.”

They look at one another and laugh. Maybe they understand me or just assumed what I said. The one rubbing his crotch comes closer, lifting his hand to my face. I turn my head to the side to avoid his touch, but he runs his finger over my cheek, jaw, bringing his hand back to slap me again. This time, my head bounces off the wall, and I taste blood dripping from my mouth and nose.

In a quivering voice, I ask, “What do you want?”

The guy turns to the one with the knife, mouthing something, turns back, and grabs my hair. He drags me to the middle of the room. In one push, I’m down on the ground, and the other traps me by placing the chair over my torso and arms. I’m trapped between the chair legs and the back rung is above my throat. Aside from my legs, I’m immobile from the waist up.

I’m screaming, because I know my situation plummeted from bad to dire. Tears drip off my face, and all I can see is the guy’s back who is sitting on the chair. Hands grab at my jeans, opening the zipper and button. I’m kicking and yelling, and they laugh at my efforts. His fingernails scrape against my skin while he drags my jeans down my legs. My screams become more incessant and panicky, legs flying all over. Next go my underwear. His fingers run over my pussy, and he smacks it. Anger and fear have me shrieking. The guy mumbles something to the one on the chair, who bends forward to grab my ankles, holding my legs straight up so I’m spread wide for both. I’m begging for them to stop. My wails and pleas do nothing.

I hear a zipper, and my breath catches in my throat. This is it.

There’s commotion on the other side of the door, and I shriek as the door explodes off its hinges.

Miles shouts, “Close your eyes, Jules!”

My eyes squeeze shut. A constant flow of gun shots rings out and I feel the chair loosen around my arms.

“Keep your eyes closed until I say it’s okay.”

Miles tosses the chair off me, covers me with a blanket, and carries me out of the room. He’s yelling to others in German, and I hear hurried footsteps joining his. My arms grip around his neck, bawling into his shoulder. The blanket is over my head, so I don’t see anything. He drops into a seat, crushing me against his chest, and his heartbeat is fast. His lips press against my forehead.

“I got you, Schatzi. You’re safe. I’ll never let you go again. I promise you.”

This has me sobbing more. The car moves, and during the ride, Miles’ arms are like a vice as he whispers to me, trying to calm me down. My head is spinning in every direction. Abduction. Assault. Possible rape. Then Miles. Safety in his embrace. Warmth.

The adrenalin fades, leaving me heavy-lidded and dazed. I sigh into Miles’ neck, pressing my lips to it, and fall asleep.

I’m woken in a haze and unable to decipher what’s going on, so I lash out.

Miles grabs my wrists. “Easy, Jules. It’s me. We’re home.”

My head lifts to find him staring at me, while his thumbs caress my cheeks.

“Where were you, Miles? They almost—”

I choke on the words, and Miles cuts in. “I know, love. I’m sorry it took so long.” He angles my head back to make sure I’m looking at him. “Did they—”

“No.” I shake my head. “They were about to…” I take in a deep breath. “…but you arrived.”

He plants a soft kiss on my lips “Fuck, Jules. We lost you after they took off from the park. After searching and beating the fuck out of a couple of guys, we found out this morning where you were being held.”

“Why?” I hiccup. “Why me?”

“Because they wanted to get back at me. It has to do with Johann and me, and what better way to retaliate than to hurt those closest to us. Those we love.”

He turns on the shower, and it’s the first realization we’re in the washroom. I’m sitting half naked on the vanity, back to the mirror, and I’m about to turn to check out my appearance.

“Don’t, Jules.”

Miles works me out of my shirt and bra, hugs me around the waist, and brings me to the shower. He strips off his clothes and joins me. I can’t avoid seeing red swirl down the drain with the water. We remain quiet while Miles washes my hair and body.

As we’re toweling off, I hear my mother walking up the steps as she yells down, “I don’t care if he wants us in the room or not. My daughter was kidnapped, and I’m going to make sure she’s okay.”

Miles curses under his breath. I wrap a towel around myself and step into the bedroom at the same time as my mom. She runs to me, grabbing my face, arms, inspecting my body. Then she hugs me, crying, and thanking God I’m fine. My dad hugs me from behind, kissing my head, and whispering how glad they are I’m safe.

When Miles comes out of the washroom, they turn on him like angry lions, with my dad yelling, “This is your fault! Our daughter’s life is at risk because you’re a criminal.”

He holds me close, and my mother has a go at Miles. “You promised not to hurt her, and what happened? She was kidnapped, and by the looks of her bruised face, assaulted. Your world is nothing but violence.” My mother stomps into the closet, grabs a suitcase, tossing anything she gets her hands on. “She’s not staying here. We’re taking the next flight out and heading home.”

Miles follows behind my mom. “The hell you are. Jules is mine.”

My mother spins to face him. “Yours?” Now she’s screeching. “She’s not property, Miles. She’s a woman. Our daughter. And because she’s not safe with you, we’ll do whatever is necessary to take her far away from you.”

His eyes meet mine, except I’m numb. This whole situation is fucked up. My mind went on hiatus, and all I want to do is sleep. I close my eyes to avoid seeing the pain etched on his face. He must have understood my fragility, because he doesn’t fight my mother anymore. My dad’s arm is slung over my shoulder. They usher me out of the house, back to the guesthouse, where I throw on leggings and a sweatshirt and fall asleep on the couch with my head in my mom’s lap. Her sniffles are the last thing I hear.