Eight for Losing, One for Loving (Wicked Sons #9)

Chapter 6

Dearest Kitty,

Good heavens! Are you quite certain? I thought he was courting her. From what I understood, he was determined to make her see that he was serious, not the reckless fellow he’s been in the past. It seems a somewhat desperate change in plans.

Are you quite certain the story about Mau is a fabrication? It’s a rather odd story to concoct. Did someone not try something of the sort before?

Do please keep me posted, for I am sat upon thorns now wondering what to do? Should I tell Alice do you think?

I am in no better state of worry over Pip, however, and not half so happy. If only I could find a suitable woman for him. He’s driving me distracted. All these years I have been nagging him to marry, and now he’s doing exactly as I asked and all in his power to find a wife. I ought to be happy, but he’s treating it as a military operation, writing notes of pros and cons, for heaven’s sake! What am I to do with him? His father refuses to get involved any farther than he has done and suggests I leave him to it, but I’m afraid he’s going to make the most dreadful mistake.

―Excerpt of a letter from The Most Hon’ble Matilda Barrington, The Marchioness of Montagu to her friend The Right Hon’ble Kitty Baxter, The Countess of Trevick.

24 th June 1850, The Queen’s Head, Wrestlingworth, the Bedfordshire, Cambridgeshire border.

“Like a frightful old maid?” Vi suggested, her voice brittle. “Did you come to your senses, Leo, and realise you ought never to have been so foolish as to show an interest in me?”

Leo stared at her. He felt sure his mouth was hanging open, but he didn’t seem able to do anything about it. From the moment he’d set foot back in the room, he’d been in deep trouble, and it was getting worse by the second. It had taken every ounce of willpower to get to his feet and leave Vi in that delectable pile on the floor. His pulse had been thrumming in his ears so loudly he could not think, his hand unsteady as he’d poured the wine, swallowed an entire glass in two mouthfuls, before pouring another. And then… then she’d been weeping.

Really, it was too much. His nerves were not equipped for such… such…

Vi stood there, glaring at him furiously, yet there was something else in her eyes too, something that looked vulnerable and hurt and that blasted nightgown was giving him far too much information about things he’d dreamed of and imagined far too many times. His willpower frayed, vibrating under the strain, and finally snapped.

Leo lunged for her, hauling her into his arms, his mouth crashing down upon hers like… well, like a madman. He was mad, he decided, concluding that he didn’t much care. Vi gave a startled squeak, which he assumed was the prelude to a slap or a knee in his privates and found himself a little stunned when she simply clung to his coat as if her life depended on it and kissed him back. As kisses went, it was inexpert to say the least. She simply pressed her mouth hard against his. Leo opened his eyes to discover hers screwed shut, an expression of intense concentration on her face, and was struck with a wave of such tenderness he felt quite winded by it.

He pulled back, breaking the kiss, seeing something that might have been panic flare in her eyes.

“Like this,” he told her softly, stroking her cheek as he returned his lips to hers, brushing them gently back and forth and pressing dozens of tiny kisses to her lips. She sighed then, her body softening against his and he felt certain his brain melted in response. Certainly, his next action was foolish in the extreme as he licked her bottom lip and then teased his way inside the crease of her mouth. She opened, uncertain what he wanted, and then gasped as his tongue swept in and he illustrated what it was he needed from her.

She was stiff in his embrace once more for a few tense seconds, and then her arms coiled around his neck and she pressed herself closer, devouring him eagerly and with such enthusiasm Leo’s entire body throbbed with desire. Good God. What had he done? This was Vi. Vi! Violetta Spencer. She wasn’t his mistress, was certainly not a light skirt, and… and…

“Vi—” he rasped, managing that much as her lips left his for a bare second, but they returned again, her tongue questing, sliding against his and her lovely body clung to him. Leo groaned, his arms going around her, hands sliding down her back to grasp her splendid behind and— “No!” He let go of her so abruptly she staggered, and he was forced to reach out a hand and steady her.

She blinked at him, her eyes glassy with desire, her cheeks flushed, mouth reddened and lush and… Leo turned his back, putting distance between them and running an unsteady hand through his hair.

“No?” she repeated, sounding somewhat dazed.

Leo shook his head, not yet ready to trust his voice.

There was a taut silence that stretched on so long he found he had to turn and look at her. He immediately wished he had not, as he regarded Vi, shivering and clutching her arms about herself. She looked smaller somehow, fragile and uncertain, not the magnificent, sensual creature who had just kissed him so passionately.

“Vi,” he began, but she just held up her hand, shaking her head.

“No explanations required,” she said, her voice faint. “I—I beg your pardon, Leo.”

What? What the devil was she apologising for? He was the one who ought to be on his knees begging for forgiveness for his appalling behaviour.

“Whatever for?” he asked, bewildered.

“For… For vexing you so that you… and then… taking advantage of the situation,” she said, her cheeks blazing with shame.

“Taking advantage,” he repeated uncertainly, wondering if the events of the day had been too much for her too. Perhaps she was going down with something. It had been rather hot. Heat stroke?

She nodded sadly. “It… It was not well done of me.”

“It wasn’t?” he asked, frowning in confusion. “But I kissed you, Vi.”

“I know, but I was driving you distracted. You just wanted to teach me a lesson, I suppose, but I… I wanted… and so…”

Leo digested this somewhat disjointed explanation with interest, managing to extract the most salient point. She wanted. Well, he wasn’t a complete moron, that much had been obvious. He rarely needed any help in understanding when a woman fancied him, but Vi wasn’t just any woman. She was complex. Interesting. Fascinating. A challenge .

“What did you want, Vi?” he asked her, noting another flush of colour as it swept up her neck in a wave.

She shook her head, turning away from him and Leo crossed the room again, daring to take her arm and force her back to look at him. It was dangerous being this close to her, but he had to know.

“You owe me an apology for taking advantage of me,” he reminded her, which was outrageous of him, but she believed it, and he needed all the help he could get. “The least you can do is explain.”

She glared at him, the flash of fury in her eyes reassuring him he had done no serious damage during his dreadful lapse in self-control. “Oh, really,” she said indignantly, but then the fight went out of her and her shoulders sagged. “Very well.”

Leo opened his mouth to take the words back—he could not bear to see her so defeated—but then he would never know. So, he forced himself to hold his tongue, watching as she gathered up the counterpane, wrapped it around herself and went back to the bed. She climbed awkwardly onto the mattress, sitting in a rather ungainly heap beneath the quilt, resting her back against the headboard.

“I shan’t ever marry, Leo,” she began, holding up her hand to silence him when he protested. “No. Listen to me. I shan’t, and don’t ask me for reasons, I don’t have the will to discuss it tonight. But I shan’t marry, and so I shan’t ever… well, you know,” she said uncomfortably.

Though he wanted very much to demand why she would not marry, he let that go for now, and felt his lips curve a little at her discomfort, but he nodded. “I do know,” he agreed amicably.

She huffed, aware of his amusement. “Well, I don’t know, Leo, and if I don’t marry, I never shall, but… but we’re here, in this room, alone and…”

She shrugged and Leo suddenly understood. She thought to get him to bed her, so she would not live the rest of her days as an old maid.

Confusion tangled his thoughts together, desire and the need to give her just what she wanted, right there and then, fought with what he believed to be right. He wished to court her, to treat her with all the care and respect a woman ought to expect from the man she intended to marry. Except she didn’t intend to marry him. Why not, dammit? Indignation followed, hot on the heels of desire. So, she thought she could just use him, did she? Take what she wanted and then throw him aside. He rubbed a hand over his face, wondering if he was becoming overwrought.

Leo turned his back on her, needing to think. His body still ached with baulked lust; bedding her would be no hardship. There again, he could give her pleasure without removing her virginal status. He knew many ways they could please each other with no risks of getting a child on her or claiming her maidenhead. So why not? Because she won’t marry you, bloody halfwit, he told himself irritably. Except maybe she would. Maybe, if he showed her what there could be between them, he could tempt her into wanting more, into wanting him so much she could do nothing but say yes to him. He knew he had the power to do it if he wished. Though he was by no means vain, he was not so blind to his own powers that he did not know women wanted him, wanted him badly. Vi was female, after all, and though she was the most contrary woman he’d ever known, he now knew she was not as immune to his charms as he’d believed. But was that an honourable thing to do? He wasn’t certain he cared overly much in the circumstances. If Vi accepted him, he’d have the rest of their lives together to prove she’d not made an error in judgement.

“Come and eat your dinner,” he said, moving to the table and holding out a chair for her.

“What?” she asked, incredulous. “Did you hear what I just said?”

“Of course I heard. Not deaf. I’m considering,” he told her, treated then to a glare of such exasperation it was all he could do to keep his face impassive.

“Well, please don’t go to any trouble on my account, Leo,” she said tartly, stalking over to the table, counterpane trailing behind her. “It’s not as if I don’t know you find the prospect less than appealing.”

She sat down with a muffled thud as the quilted fabric softened her heavy descent. Lord, but she was in a temper now, he realised with interest.

“Less than appealing,” he repeated, wondering if she had taken leave of her senses.

“Just forget it,” she snapped, swiping the cover off the chafing dish that held their meal. She ladled two generous servings onto their plates and Leo’s stomach growled at the sight of the lamb stew with dumplings.

Forget it? Ha! Leo knew he would not forget a single thing about this night until the day he died, but he sat down all the same, eyeing Vi with curiosity.

She took a bite of the lamb, chewing vigorously, though Leo discovered it was so tender it fell apart. Temper again, he realised, wondering what to do about the intriguing woman opposite him. Yet much of this temper seemed to stem from hurt feelings, from a sense of vulnerability. Leo considered this, considered how she had thought to use him for her own ends, and found his own emotions veering dramatically back and forth. They had too much history together to make this easy though, too many years of friendship, aggravation and pretending there was no spark of attraction between them to let them love each other with complete trust and understanding.

They ate in silence and Leo watched her surreptitiously, aware of her anger dissipating as the meal progressed. Little by little her shoulders slumped, and he watched the indignant goddess he adored fade by degrees, replaced by the uncertain young woman he’d glimpsed for the first time earlier this evening. By now, she was just picking at her meal lethargically.

“Vi, you’re off your head, you do know that?”

As he’d hoped, her head came up, a warning glint in her eyes. “Oh? How so?”

“If you think I, or any man, could see you in that… that indecent bit of nothing you’re wearing under that quilt and find the prospect of bedding you less than appealing, you are not in your right mind.”

As he’d hoped, she perked up at this information, regarding him with interest. “Oh?”

That she wanted to hear more was obvious and Leo counselled himself to have a care. He was in dangerous territory here.

“Vi, how many men have told you how beautiful you are?” he asked her gently.

She shrugged. “I don’t know, but they don’t know me. It’s not like they meant it. They wanted my dowry or the connection to Trevick more than they wanted me, I’m afraid.”

“That is not true,” he said, shaking his head in frustration. “And if they did not know you, whose fault is that? Did you allow them to know you? I have that privilege because we grew up together, but you don’t let anyone else near, pet. You’re friendly and sweet-natured, right up until the point they get seriously interested, then the ice maiden appears.”

“That’s not—”

“That is entirely true, and I’m glad of it,” Leo said frankly, before she could contradict him. “For otherwise some other lucky devil would have snapped you up before I came to my senses, and then where should I be?”

She gave him a sideways glance, clearly still disbelieving him but he thought perhaps there was a sliver of doubt there now and… and she wanted to believe him. The revelation hit him square in the chest. He’d been right. Damn him, he was a blasted fool, but despite that, he’d been right all those weeks ago when he’d accused her of not wanting to marry anyone else but him. She didn’t want anyone else; she wanted him. She wanted him, he amended, repeating the words with more emphasis as he recalled that heated kiss. His body stirred, heat simmering beneath his skin, and he told his libido to back off and let him think. He would not mess this up.

She might want him, might even be foolish enough to wish to marry him, but she wasn’t fool enough to go through with it. Vi didn’t trust him, and if he went bedding her now, taking that which could never be replaced, she never would. Yet ought he to trust that she knew her own mind? She was a grown woman, after all, not a child. If Vi had come to this decision, ought he to respect that? His thoughts circled in ever decreasing circles until his head hurt.

“Pie?”

“Huh?”

He looked up to see Vi had cleared the plates and chafing dish and set the apple pie in its place.

“Oh, yes, thank you.”

“Do you have a headache?” she asked him, a small frown tugging at her brows.

He looked up in surprise, wondering how she knew.

“You get a sort of pinched look when you have a headache,” she said with a shrug. “Shall I send for some willow bark tea?”

Leo shook his head. “No, thank you.”

“Is it me?” she asked, candid as ever.

“Is what you?”

“It is me giving you a headache?”

He laughed at that and nodded. “Yes, pet. If you must know. I’m tying myself in knots, trying to decide what to do about you.”

“Thought as much,” she said, taking up the cream pot and putting a large dollop on his pie, and then the same on hers.

He watched with approval, discovering he liked that she enjoyed her food. Watching a young woman pick at her meal when she was clearly dying to devour the lot was never comfortable when you were enjoying your own dinner.

“Why don’t we discuss it, then?” she suggested.

Leo watched as she took a spoonful of pie and ate it with obvious relish. He lifted his glass and took a drink, wondering if that were a good idea. Well, what the hell? It was not like he had any answers.

“Very well. I am trying to decide what to do, as I said.”

“Whether or not to take me to bed?” she said, shocking him a little, for that was certainly to the point.

Gathering his nerves as he reminded himself Vi was not someone to cross wits with lightly, he nodded. “I want you to marry me, Vi,” he said, holding up a hand before she could tell him such a thing would never happen. “Hear me out.”

She sighed, rolling her eyes. “Very well.”

“I want to marry you. If I bed you, I’m not sure if that will get me farther from that eventuality or closer to it.”

“Neither,” she said with such confidence that he felt a little surge of annoyance.

“You do not know of what you speak,” he told her firmly.

“I know my own mind,” she said with a shrug, and took another bite of pie.

“You do at this moment, sitting at a table eating dinner. You may not feel so sure of yourself, my love, lying naked in my arms once I have brought you more pleasure than you ever dreamed of.”

To his satisfaction, she froze, the spoon bearing her next mouthful suspended before her. Colour rose in her cheeks, pink as a new dawn.

Leo quirked one eyebrow. “Quite,” he said, holding her gaze.

Vi set down the spoon, avoiding his gaze and staring at her pie thoughtfully. She looked up then, curiosity in her expression. “Would… Would the experience really…”

“Yes,” he said firmly.

“Oh.” She nodded, biting her lip, and this time it was Leo who looked away as desire surged through his veins, making his skin ache with the need for her to touch him. Please God, let me get through this, he murmured inwardly. “Mama did give me the impression that it was… well, rather lovely, but then she and Papa are so very much in love and… and I wondered if perhaps they were unusual.”

“They are, in some respects. You know as well as I many marriages are based on breeding, or finance, or any other reason than that the two parties care a fig about each other. But my parents are much the same. It’s embarrassing sometimes,” he added with a smile. “And as for my sister, good lord, Vi. Have you ever been in a room with Bella and Bainbridge? It’s appalling.”

Vi, who had, smothered a laugh and nodded. “I take your point. But we’re not in love,” she added sadly.

Leo’s heart jolted, but he told himself not to react, instead he forced himself to look at her, really look. “Aren’t we, Vi?” he asked her softly.

As he had hoped, colour flooded her cheeks once more, and she got to her feet, turning her back on him. This, he decided, was the most encouraging development he’d had on that front, for she clearly did not wish for him to read her expression. Instead, she took the bowl and spoon and stalked back to the bed, sitting on it and finishing her pie in silence.

“You didn’t answer me, love,” he said, suddenly not the least bit interested in his own dessert, good as it was. He got up, following her to the bed and sitting beside her, but Vi refused to look up at him, her attention focused on her bowl.

“Because you are talking nonsense,” she said firmly, avoiding his eyes. “And there is no point in talking to you when you are in such a mood.”

“I’m not the one in a mood, or the one sounding so defensive,” he countered, his heart lifting as his confidence rose.

“I am not defensive,” she snapped, opening her mouth to rail at him once again and then realising what she sounded like. Her eyes flashed with frustration as she returned her attention to her bowl. Giving an irritated huff, she scraped the last of the dessert from the sides of the bowl, taking a good deal of time over ensuring she scooped up every crumb and smear of cream.

“Do you want mine too?” he asked her, unable to keep the amusement from his voice.

“No, thank you. I’m not greedy,” she said, still staring at the bowl, her posture stiff.

“No, but it was giving you a reason not to look at me. If you want to avoid doing so for a few more minutes, you are welcome to it, but you’ll have to look at me eventually, Vi. Do you think you can hide your feelings forever? I know I can’t.”

She made another sound of frustration but then she looked up and his breath caught at the fear in her eyes. “Your feelings are unreliable, Leo. Your attention span is limited, and I do not believe I have charms enough to hold it for long. What then? We bicker and vex each other badly enough now.”

For a moment, resentment burned inside him at her accusations, but when he looked back upon his life, he knew she was justified. She could not see inside his heart, his mind, could not know how tired he was of all that, how ready he was for what came next. Not that he wanted a dull life, which was why he wanted Vi. Today she had proved to him what he’d always known, how brave and capable she was, and he wanted to bring that adventurous spirit out in her, to show her she could be bold and brave because he was there to keep her safe. What she was so afraid of, he did not know, but that she was frightened was something he had instinctively believed for some time. Why, though?

“I’ll turn into a shrew, and you will want to get away from me and—”

Leo realised she was still talking, still finding reasons they would not work, and he could not have that, could not have her work herself up by imagining how it would go wrong. Instead, he would give her the very best reason it would be perfect.

Leaning in, he grasped her chin, holding her still as he pressed his mouth to hers. She froze, the list of reasons silenced by his kiss. Leo’s heart thudded hard when she did not put up even a token resistance but reached for him. It was an awkward position, with her empty bowl still between them on the bed, but he did not dare break the kiss for fear she would start up again. Instead, he stroked her cheek, pleased when she opened her mouth to him, tasting the sweet, tart flavour of apples and cream. God, but she was delicious. Desire rose like an incoming tide, and he reached for the bowl, putting it aside on the bed as he pressed Vi back against the pillows, following her down. The blasted counterpane was between them, keeping the feel of her body from his but for the moment it was enough that she kissed him with such enthusiasm, her hands grasping his shoulders.

“Vi, you are going to drive me distracted,” he murmured in her ear as he finally dragged his mouth from hers long enough to press kisses along jawline, down her neck.

She sighed, not saying anything at all, which was a first, but he’d take it. He looked at her then, her lovely blonde hair a tumble of messy curls about her face, her cheeks flushed pink, and her eyes… her clear blue eyes were dark with desire. The need to show her just what it was she wanted from him was a rush of liquid fire in his blood.

“Vi,” he said, his voice low.

“Mr Huntington, your bath is ready, sir. May we come in?”

Leo jolted, cursing roundly as he realised he’d not even heard them knock.

“Damn and blast.”

Vi bit her lip, and he saw amusement glinting there. “I would like a bath first if… if we’re to…”

Leo nodded, he had not yet decided just what they were doing, but he was sweaty and dusty, and he was damned if he would let Vi any closer to him smelling as he did.

“Stay there,” he told her, forcing himself to relax enough to give her a smile. “I’ll get rid of them as quick as I can.”

She nodded as he pulled the curtains on the bed closed, tugging hard to cover the gap from the one they had accidentally torn down, and went to the door so they could bring in the bath and the following cans of hot water.