Elevator Pitch (Hapless In Love #1)

32. Business Trip

32

business trip

Selah

Portland, OR | January 10, 2024

Day five in Portland. As someone who prefers to work from home, it’s been an adjustment, but at least I could check Fly First Class off my Fuck It List . Plus, the view from my hotel is amazing. Once meetings are done for the day, I’ll be back in my room with a book. You don’t realize how lonely working from home is until you have a meet-up. in person with your coworkers who you don’t know personally. We’re all oddly aligned and comfortable with each other from regular debriefings, but it isn’t the same as being around each other every day. The company tries to recreate social experiences virtually, which I don’t mind, but they’re still awkward. Birthday parties, break rooms, office gossip, smoke breaks, food runs, they’re all non-existent in virtual spaces and don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining. I prefer this to going into the office every day, but the constant meetings will deplete you.

The highlights of work-from-home meetings include pets walking by, cute kids and their greetings, someone forgetting to mute themselves while talking shit, or their camera is on and their face is speaking loud and clear. These are things you cannot get in the office, and for that, I wouldn’t trade the experience.

I am always nervous to lead a meeting, even virtually. I make sure I’m as prepared as possible, so nothing trips me up. My anxiety is really put to the test here as a product manager. I’m leading many meetings with our stakeholders to discuss our recent developments with the Kiwi Music App and the new features we’ll be rolling out this spring. This is the biggest project I’ve been a part of since joining the company a year ago, and it has been such an honor to lead our team through the rebranding. The Kiwi Music App is getting a whole new look. I’m in love with the prototypes I’ve seen, and I hope our listeners enjoy the new features while finding them to be even more user friendly.

Collaborative playlists, updates to users' “play profiles” to fit their personalities, and even a follow feature to stay connected. We’ve improved our recommendations feature to provide more accurate playlists for our users, and a weekly playlist will be released every Saturday morning with a breakdown of their listening preferences ahead of the annual playlist that ranks how they enjoyed music for that year.

Being able to work around music every day while helping people discover new artists and giving them a platform to connect so they can express themselves with soundtracks for their daily lives. is an absolute dream come true. I had never loved a job before this, and I hadn’t felt like I belonged in any role, but here? I know my shit when it comes to tech and when it comes to the perfect playlist, I’m your girl. Something that the team has bonded over is that we all love music and enjoy curating playlists for our personal profiles in the app, often sharing our creations with each other. I may not be much of a talker outside of work, but I engage with the playlists they send and keep up with their recommendations.

It’s simple, really , if you want me to talk, bring up music or romance books.

When my presentation is over, I’m certain my underarms are sweating, but it’s alright. I knew the possibility, and that’s why I packed dark clothes for this trip. Once I’m seated and marketing is up next to present, I feel like I can finally breathe for the first time since I entered the room.

It’s exhausting pretending to be neurotypical in public settings, but masking is a part of my daily routine at this point. At home, it’s a different story. I’m not ashamed of my ADHD, but it’s nobody’s business at work, and I find the quieter I am, the fewer questions people ask. I'm ready for the meetings to end so I can head back to my hotel room and decompress.

However, Skye, a software engineer on my team who seems to always sense whenever I’m overstimulated, offers a knowing look from across the boardroom table. Skye can get me to talk about more than just books and music. She always shares treats from her snack hauls with me on these trips and it helps. Often a cookie or a cupcake and she refuses to share with anyone else, so I’ve gotten creative with my lies about where they come from.

My ass.

A food truck.

The vending machine.

A raccoon by the dumpster.

It may be the sweets that calm me or the fact that someone can pick me out of the crowd no matter how well I think I’m masking, but it never makes me feel judged. It feels like when you were a kid playing by yourself on the playground then another kid walked up randomly and started playing with you. They might not have said much at first, but they chose you and from that day on you never had to play alone.

We used to make friends that way. Some of us still do. I know I still do.

I often wonder if Skye is neurodivergent too or someone close to her is. Either way, it’s nice to have someone who creates a safe space for me when I come on these business trips. Otherwise, they’d really fucking suck. When my day is done, I’ll need to curl up in my room with a book to recover and mentally prepare to do this all over again tomorrow. I’m not a social person. Do I sympathize with social people? No, because they don’t sympathize with us. Audrey gets a pass because her entire life is events and hospitality, but even she has a social battery that needs recharging just like the rest of us. I sink back into my chair and wiggle my feet as I wait for this meeting to end.

When the meeting ends, Skye and I work alongside each other. Our desks sit in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook downtown Portland. We settle in and she sets a warm chocolate chunk cookie on my desk with a napkin. I smile up at her and she scrunches her nose in response, biting into the gooey cookie.

I pity anyone that doesn’t have a Skye in their lives.