Escape for Christmas

Chapter Twenty-Nine

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

‘I thought your passport had expired …’ Sophie said, wondering what he might say next.

Nico grimaced. ‘Ah, well, it is true that I was meant to go to Italy, and I wanted somewhere to stay over Christmas a long way from anywhere. My passport hadn’t expired, but I found myself in need of a place of – sanctuary, shall we say?’

‘Sanctuary?’ she echoed. ‘That’s an interesting word.’

‘My family in Italy is expecting me to get married to a very nice, very beautiful woman who I’ve known for years. We’ve been dating on and off and it became more serious a few months ago. Our families are very traditional, and my parents – and hers – were clearly expecting us to announce our engagement over Christmas.’

‘Ah. What about your girlfriend? Was she expecting that?’

‘Carlotta and I haven’t discussed it. It’s the people around us who are piling on the pressure. I can’t remember the last time I was home without someone – Mum or Dad or my sister – asking me when I’m going to “settle down with a nice girl and start a family”. I used to laugh it off, but now I find it … upsetting.’

‘Shouldn’t you talk to Carlotta about how you feel?’ Sophie asked, sympathetic in one way, but also feeling sorry for his girlfriend.

‘Of course I should, but I’m not a paragon. Not like Brody next door. I fear I’m not even a decent sort of man. I may be a very bad man.’ He smiled. ‘I’m joking about that, but I did decide to come here, lie about my passport and tell my family I was off to the back of beyond to a remote retreat.’

‘I can’t see you at a retreat. Did your family believe you?’

‘Probably not.’ He shrugged. ‘Maybe I’m secretly hoping they’ll realise I need to follow my own path, though it won’t be to any kind of destination they’d approve of.’

‘You have to be honest with them,’ Sophie said. ‘You can’t keep hiding away from the truth. Why not just tell them – Carlotta, and your families – that you don’t want to get married at the moment.’

‘Ah, if only it was that simple …

‘Isn’t it?’

‘If I were to be honest with them, I’d have to say that I don’t want to get married for some time, perhaps not ever, and certainly not in the way they envisage marriage. I can’t even imagine meeting one person I’d devote my life to. I don’t want to “forsake all others”.’ He shuddered. ‘I’m not gay or straight, or any label. I prefer to defy description. I simply like beautiful people. Of any variety.’

So he was struggling to accept his sexuality and explain it to his family, Sophie thought, feeling sorry for Nico that, behind his show of confidence, he was clearly battling to come to terms with who he was and to feel comfortable in his own skin. ‘I’m sorry you feel pressured to act or be a certain way,’ she said. ‘But that shouldn’t stop you finding one special partner one day.’

He shook his head. ‘You are so lovely, Sophie. So certain of what’s right and wrong, and with such high expectations of those around you. It’s a shame you’ve been let down by this Ben – and now Brody. I’m afraid no one will ever be able to live up to your ideals because, as much as we try our best, we all make mistakes along the way.’

Nico had now crossed several boundaries, and so was uncomfortably close to the truth.

‘I’m sorry you feel you can’t be honest with your family or be your true self,’ Sophie replied calmly. ‘It must be making you very unhappy to be playing a part all the time.’

Something like regret flickered in Nico’s eyes, and his cool smile wavered before he replied, ‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Now shall I settle the bill? I think I might have run up quite a tab on the honesty bar.’ He paid swiftly and left, with only a ‘Bye’ before driving off in his Alfa.

Was Sophie also expecting too much of people? Of a partner? To be loyal and kind and faithful? Was she expecting something, and someone, who simply didn’t exist? Yet no matter how naive or fantastical it seemed, she refused to give up hope of finding them one day.

As the clouds descended from the fells, a sense of sadness settled on the empty house. It seemed too large and echoing. It wasn’t meant to be occupied by one person. Thank goodness Vee was there. Sophie could hear her singing as she stripped the beds upstairs.

There was no time to dwell on things. She would go and help Vee. She was halfway up the stairs when she heard a shriek.

‘Oh my God! Sophie! Quick!’

Sophie ran up the final steps to see the Hartley-Brewers’ door flung open. Vee was standing by the bed with her hands over her mouth.

Sophie went in and her heart seemed to stop.

Her two beloved cats were lying limply on the duvet.