Escape for Christmas

Chapter Thirty-Four

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

The taxi dropped them off at the jetty where the steamer was waiting, windows blazing and festooned with coloured lights like a mini version of an old-fashioned liner. The band was already playing, with the sound of jazz drifting over the quay, and there was a queue of excited passengers waiting to board.

Sophie got out, and the cold hit her after the warmth of the taxi.

‘Oh, this is so beautiful!’ Vee cried, while Kev paid the driver.

‘I feel like I’m about to board the Titanic ,’ he grumbled, adjusting his collar.

Vee playfully batted him on the arm. ‘I bloody hope not! I don’t fancy my chances in the middle of the icy lake.’

‘No. It’s two hundred feet deep in the middle, you know.’

‘Oh, don’t say that,’ Sophie protested. ‘It gives me the shivers.’

Vee was rocking a red jumpsuit and a sparkly black jacket. She stamped her gold platforms. ‘I’m shivering anyway. I hope we get on board soon.’

They joined the queue at the brightly lit boathouse. It was a clear night and the moon shone down, reflected in the black waters of the lake, along with the shimmering fairy lights looped along the lamp posts on the boat pier.

‘Although I’m freezing, I’m glad I made an effort,’ Vee said, and Sophie agreed. It was strange to see so many people in tuxes and dresses, when most were usually bundled up in thick coats and jeans.

Luckily the queue moved swiftly and they were soon stepping aboard the Windermere steamer, the largest in the company’s fleet. The guests were, of course, always using the boat service that plied the whole length of the lake and criss-crossed it. However, Sophie had been so busy that she’d only experienced it a couple of times, to reach the far side of the lake for walks on rare days off.

The boat was decorated with fairy lights and tinsel. Dealing with Christmas decorations no longer seemed such an issue to Sophie, set against her other troubles. Besides, the festivities would be over tomorrow and packed away for another year. If only her feelings for Brody could be packed away so easily. If only they could be sealed inside a cardboard box and hidden in a loft.

She forced her attention back to the moment, if only for Vee’s sake. Her friendship was precious, and Vee deserved a happy evening, not a moping companion killing the mood. The band was playing in the saloon, on the main deck. As they walked inside, they were handed glasses of fizz by the crew. She recognised a couple of faces: traders from the village and one of the GPs, and two people who collected the trade waste from Sunnyside. They nodded and smiled.

Kev was immediately swept off by members of his mountain-rescue team, who had pints in hand. He disappeared down the steps where, judging by the number of people coming up and down, the bar was situated.

Vee linked arms with Sophie. ‘That’s it. We won’t see him again for ages.’

Sophie laughed. ‘Let’s find a seat.’

The music stopped and an announcement was made. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, welcome on board! Before we get the party started, we’d just like to run through some safety information …’

Once that was over, the captain told everyone they were edging away from the jetty and the boat started moving. Vee and Sophie got chatting to – or, rather, shouting down the ears of – the couple who ran the bakery. The band started up again, playing pop favourites.

‘The band isn’t bad,’ Sophie said, sipping her second glass of fizz.

‘It’s played at Raffaelo’s a few times. The guitarist is a friend of Kev’s – Seb. He works in the music shop.’

‘He’s really good,’ Sophie said, impressed by Seb’s guitar solo.

‘That’s his brother, Travis, taking photos.’

Sophie nodded. She’d passed Travis’s gallery many times and knew he was married to Freya, who ran a local cottage management company.

It seemed as if everyone was here, apart from Brody.

‘Oh, I love this one!’ Vee said. ‘Let’s dance. Kev’s too shy unless he’s had a few drinks!’

For a while Sophie lost herself in the music. It had been so long since she’d danced like this. The volume ramped up and the dance floor became packed. Briefly she thought she glimpsed Tegan, but realised she had the wrong woman – much to her relief. Carl was also on the floor, with a man Sophie recognised from the mountain-rescue team, and gave her a little wave.

They danced to four tracks in a row, and finally the band took a break while the buffet was served. Warm and a little out of breath, Sophie and Vee left the floor and went to collect their food.

Surely, surely they would bump into Brody’s party at the buffet, but there was no sign of them. She was beginning to wonder if they had come after all. Perhaps Tegan’s father wasn’t feeling well. She sat down at the table with Vee, and Kev joined them.

‘I knew you’d come back when the food was served!’ Vee said, and Kev grinned.

‘I’m not daft. Are you having a good time? Sorry, I got cornered by one of the team in the bar.’

Vee rolled her eyes. ‘Course you did.’

Someone Vee knew passed by and started talking to her and Kev.

Sophie carried on eating her sausage roll and nodded at points in their conversation to pretend she was listening. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the tall frame and mop of dark hair of Brody, who was making his way up the stairs from the lower bar with a tray of drinks. If she hadn’t been sitting down, she might have needed support at the sight of him in a tux and a slim black tie. Her whole body tingled with desire. She turned away because there was no point in tormenting herself like this, when he was with someone else.

She wished she could sneak away to avoid seeing Brody and Tegan, but it was impossible. She was trapped on the boat until it docked at 1 a.m. and she’d have to make the most of it.

Before she could move her chair around, Brody seemed to have spotted her. His eyes widened in surprise, as if he hadn’t expected her to be there, and gave her a brief smile. Sophie died a little inside. How had she fallen so fast, so hard for such a lost cause?

He was walking their way and had paused by their table, still holding the tray. ‘Hello. This is a surprise.’

‘Is it? Vee gave me a last-minute invitation. I would have thought Carl would have told you,’ Sophie replied.

He frowned. ‘Carl? I don’t understand.’

‘I popped into the gift shop earlier and bought some jewellery.’ Before she realised it, her fingers were touching the necklace, feeling how cool the stones were against her flushed skin. ‘He mentioned that you would be here tonight with Tegan and her parents.’

‘No, Carl didn’t say anything to me, but I haven’t had a chance to catch up with him. I was working before I came here. The necklace is very nice,’ he said and hesitated before adding, ‘You look very … nice.’

Sophie could hardly meet his eye. ‘Thanks,’ she muttered, wanting to say so much that she could barely reply at all.

‘Right. Yes. I should take these drinks back to the others,’ he mumbled awkwardly, still lingering by the table.

Sophie nodded. ‘Yes. Nice to see you.’

With another uneasy smile, Brody walked towards the rear of the boat, presumably to where Tegan and his future in-laws were sitting. Sophie pushed her plate away.

Vee touched her arm. ‘You’ve gone quiet. Are you OK?’

‘Fine. Fine. I think I’ll pop to the Ladies before the dancing starts again,’ Sophie said, forcing herself to sound cheery.

She made her way through the packed saloon and down the stairs, to find a long queue for the Ladies. There were at least six people ahead of her, so she resigned herself to the wait. It was impossible not to think about Brody, how gorgeous he looked and how uncomfortable he’d seemed to see her. His compliment about her looking ‘nice’ had made her cringe. She’d rather he hadn’t said anything at all.

She’d barely moved when Tegan emerged from the Ladies and waved at her.

‘Oh, hello again!’ She was wearing a gorgeous grey satin dress. ‘How are your cats?’ she asked. ‘Brody told me they’d eaten some mistletoe and he’d had to treat them.’

Sophie hid her surprise that Brody had said anything about the incident. ‘They’re fine now, thanks.’

‘Good … And your anti-Christmas break went well?’

Sophie thought it wasn’t worth arguing about what the break was, having grown tired of explaining it to people. ‘Yes, I think everyone enjoyed it. Thank you for having us all on Christmas Day. It was really kind of you.’

‘Oh, you’re welcome! Actually it was a lot of fun. I was just worried it might be a bit too Christmassy for you all.’

Sophie kept her smile in place while being desperate to escape, hoping that the queue would move faster. ‘In the circumstances, I think some turkey and tinsel were the least of our worries.’

‘Yes, I s’pose so. Well, I’d better get back to Brody and my parents. I think I mentioned that my dad’s not well, but he still insisted on coming here tonight. He never misses the New Year’s Eve do.’

Sophie recalled the conversation with Tegan on Christmas Day and it made her feel sorry for her all over again. ‘It’s great he could make it. Vee was telling me that this was one of the big nights in the Bannerdale social calendar. I’m sure your dad will be OK,’ she went on, wondering if she was talking rubbish. Surgery of any kind didn’t sound like a trivial thing and she could understand why Tegan was concerned.

Tegan sighed. ‘It is great … and I hope he’s going to celebrate many more of them. People keep telling me it’s a routine op these days, but that’s not true. He has angina too.’ She held up crossed fingers. ‘Brody keeps trying to reassure me it will be fine. I don’t know what I’d do without him. He’s so supportive. I’m very lucky.’

Sophie gave a weak smile. ‘I really hope it all goes well,’ she said. ‘I’d better go back too. Vee will be wondering where I’ve got to.’

‘Brody will too. See you on the dance floor maybe? If I can persuade Brody to dance. It’s not really his thing, but we’re celebrating tonight.’

Tegan waltzed off, holding up her dress to avoid tripping on her silver heels. Sophie felt terrible that not only had Brody kept quiet about his fiancée, but he’d done so when she was already dealing with so much. No wonder Tegan seemed rather brittle and clingy at times.

After visiting the loo, Sophie decided not to go straight back to her table, but instead headed for the exit. Although the night was calm, the cold took her breath away. There were half a dozen people out there, though it was so cold that most of them were shivering and hastily going back inside.

‘Sophie!’

Brody’s voice. Had he followed her? She hadn’t noticed him when she was talking to Tegan. She wrapped her arms around her body.

‘Why are you out here?’ he said. ‘You must be freezing!’

‘I don’t want to go inside.’

‘Then have this.’ Even as he spoke, he was shrugging off his jacket.

He draped it around her shoulders, his fingers brushing her bare collarbone as he did so. She didn’t know which goosebumps were from the cold and which were from the touch of his hand on her bare flesh. Far too large, the jacket was warm from his body and smelled of his aftershave, and the silk lining caressed her body the way she wanted him to.

Moonlight shimmered on the unruffled surface of the lake, and the fells were black against the night sky. It felt incredibly romantic, and even more wrong that she was out there with Brody.

‘I don’t think this is a good idea.’ Sophie tried to pull off his jacket and held it out. She didn’t care how cold she was.

Brody sighed. ‘Please put it back on. You’ll freeze out here.’

Reluctantly she did so. ‘Tegan won’t be happy if she comes out and sees this, though. Brody, she’s your fiancée.’

‘Actually she’d have no reason to be mad. We’re not engaged any more. We’re not even a couple.’

‘What?’ Sophie shook her head, disgusted at what she’d heard. ‘This is a new low, Brody. I wouldn’t have expected a line like this from you. She clearly seems to think you’re still together.’

‘It’s not a line. It’s the truth. We split up months ago. Tegan met someone new in New York, not long after she started there, and broke off our engagement. We only pretended we were still together for the sake of her father. Tegan didn’t want to upset him. Neither of us did,’ he qualified. ‘Alan took a turn for the worse after her brother announced he was getting divorced last year. Tegan is petrified another shock might make Alan have a relapse before his op.’

Could it be true? Could she really trust what Brody was saying? He had no reason to make up such a story. Sophie tugged his jacket around her, shivering with the cold. ‘And Tegan’s going along with this? Because she didn’t even hint to me that anything was wrong just now. The opposite, in fact.’

He shoved his hands through his hair in frustration. ‘Initially it was Tegan’s idea. I wanted to make a clean break as soon as she told me about her affair, but I agreed to keep up the charade until her father was recovering. I genuinely thought I could do it, while she was on the other side of the Atlantic. Only a couple of people had known about the engagement, and not having to face them and tell them we’d broken up was easier to begin with too. I didn’t factor in how hard it is to deny your real feelings. I didn’t factor in falling for someone else. For you …’

Sophie could feel her heart beating faster. Suddenly the cold didn’t matter, and yet …

‘I’ve always liked you,’ Brody went on. ‘ More than liked you, but obviously I suppressed my feelings. Then Tegan dropped the bombshell that she’d been having a relationship with her boss. I was stunned and hurt. I felt humiliated.’

‘I know that feeling,’ Sophie murmured, hardly daring to believe that what Brody was saying was true. ‘After I first split with Ben, I realised that it was a good thing we’d parted before we were married. Anyone who could have an affair with my best friend behind my back – and blame me for it – was better off out of my life. I needed something to blame, and I blamed Christmas. Even though I knew it wasn’t rational, I needed something to hang my insecurities and my grief and anger on.’

‘I understand. I always did.’ Brody took her chilled hands and held them between his own warm ones. ‘Even if you were having doubts about a relationship, a betrayal like that knocks you off your feet. Maybe it served me right; maybe Tegan could sense that I wasn’t as committed as I should have been, but even so I would never have hurt her in the way she hurt me. It’s why I’ve tried so hard to stop myself even thinking about you.’

‘After the lantern parade and then at the party that night, I realised how much I liked you,’ Sophie told him. ‘I was just starting to feel brave enough to open up to someone else, but then that … stable moment happened and made me terrified in case I got hurt again.’

‘No, please believe me. I’m nothing like your ex. Even growing close to you felt like betraying Tegan, and I hoped I might feel differently over time. Unfortunately, the more I saw of you, the more I realised that I couldn’t go on pretending.’

Sophie was torn between joy and fear. She’d longed to hear Brody say these words. She’d lost all hope that he really was the lovely, gorgeous, nice guy she’d originally thought. It was miraculous to know the truth, and yet she couldn’t get past the fact that he was still engaged to another women, even if in name only.

She took her hands out of his and moved apart from him. ‘I – I do like you, Brody. More than like. You must know that, but I could never be part of breaking up a relationship. Tegan clearly hasn’t accepted it’s over between you, and I don’t want to be part of some agonising love-triangle. Until and unless she accepts that you two are over, there can’t be a future for us. Don’t let me be the reason you hurt someone.’

Brody’s fingers brushed hers for the briefest moment, setting off fireworks through her whole body. ‘Sophie, no matter what I do, I’m going to hurt someone. Sometimes you can’t avoid it, if you want to do the right thing for the ones you love.’ He took her hand again. ‘I can’t tell you how much I want to hold you. Kiss you. More .’

Sophie had no need of his jacket. The heat rose in her body and every nerve ending zinged. She longed to be in his arms, and alone with him.

‘Not until you’re truly free,’ she insisted. ‘Only you can make that happen.’

‘I know, and I will .’

‘Brody!’

Tegan ran up to them, tears running down her face. ‘I’ve been looking for you everywhere! You have to come. It’s Dad. He’s having an angina attack.’