Escape to the Sea (Tangled Hearts #1)

Chapter 23 Reckoning

Ephraim

I hit the ground, my cheek pressed into the grass and dirt, the air hot and humid. Coughing, I get to my knees and look around.

We’re back in the Great Thatch. We made it! Oh gods, I did it, I got us out and—

There’s a furious scream and then my back hits the ground, wincing as my head slams back. The she-wolf is on top of me, my collar in her grip.

“You made a deal!” she screams in my face, her eyes wide and furious.

Scowling, I kick my legs back and up, throwing her off me and swiveling onto my feet. “I wouldn’t have had to, if you hadn’t interrupted me!”

“Interrupt you from what? Selling yourself to an arch-fey?” she snarls before charging at me again.

I ground myself, taking her attack head on. I don’t even think as I block her jab, pushing her arm down and giving her chest a hard open palm hit. The force of it makes her gasp and stagger back before I quickly swipe my legs, knocking her down and then pinning her to the ground.

Her sharp, stunning green eyes flare with fury as I hover over her.

“I saved us. Those guards were harmless to me. The…” I pause, the memory fuzzy. “It was fine .”

“It wasn’t fine,” she snaps. “You could have been absorbed, died!” She twists and we wrestle, but this time she gets the better of me.

Despite her arm pinning my shoulders and my neck, her form fits perfectly over mine. For a moment, I remember what that’s like under more pleasurable circumstances, a warm flush creeping into my cheeks. Then she speaks and it’s all quite forgotten.

“I had a plan ,” she hisses. “We could have survived, found a way to—”

“Are you mad?” I counter, incredulous. “I thought you were the sensible one! There’s no way we could survive there. I did what I had to!”

I try to sit up but she shoves her arm down, the pressure on my neck forcing me back. “The only thing you did was give Desire a part of you that you will never get back. Tell him, Tomlyn!”

There’s a pause and we both turn to him.

“Oh, you care that I can speak Aurelian now? Because, trust me, I have a lot to say.”

There’s another silence. I take advantage to flip Atrea over, grabbing her arm and pinning it into her back, forcing her face down into the dirt. “I don’t think I care to hear what either of you have to say, frankly.”

“Uh… sure.”

“Tomlyn!” she snaps.

Tommy runs a hand through his hair. “Well… I’m waiting to see how this sorts out.”

“This?” I echo, tightening my grip as she squirms.

“Yeah, this.” He grins, cocky and lopsided and it’s all too distracting because Atrea gets the better of me, pinning me down in return. “If you’re going to make out or not. I’m for it, either way.”

My face burns at the thought and Atrea shoves herself off me, cheeks flushed, and stalks towards the elf. Oh good, someone else to handle her ire.

“Babe, come on. I mean you’re wrestling, arguing… I know how we get when we argue.”

I pull myself off the ground and dust myself off as they bicker. Looking around, I recognize a particular rock formation—not only are we in the Thatch, but we’re close to Vinitore. Thank the gods!

“We’re not far,” I announce, interrupting them. “I need to make a few notes in my journal…” I pull it out and flip the pages, the flower petals I tried to press losing their color and turning to ash. Even worse are the pages themselves. “Can you believe this? I thought I was writing in Elvish, but this is all in Sylvan! I can’t read the language of the fey, let alone understand it!”

Tommy looks at Atrea. “You know Sylvan, right?”

Her mouth sets in a line, still glaring at me. “For a price.”

Tommy sighs, running his hand through his hair.

“Of course,” I say irritably. I straighten and turn my nose up at her, channeling my inner Kassandra. “We were out of options to leave the Wyrd Sea, which you seem incapable of admitting. Perhaps because it wasn’t you who thought of the way we succeeded? A failing of yours, clearly.” I place a hand on my chest, proudly, “I’m a grown man. I can handle myself. Besides, who knows if I’ll ever go into the Wyrd Sea again, in which case Desire won’t be a problem. And if I do, I won’t return without an experienced Sea-walker, and not some random elf.”

I’m goading her and I know it, but I simply can’t find it in me to care. But instead of getting angry again and lunging for me, her head tilts and she smiles. It’s like how Desire smiled, from what I can remember through the haze. She looks entirely too pleased with herself for my tastes.

“Oh, is that your idea? Going to beg for your mother to hold your hand through your next trip?”

Everything in me goes cold.

Tommy steps between us, hands out, trying to keep the peace. “Babe, come on, you don’t have to—”

“I don’t need to beg her to do anything,” I say and hold the necklace. “She left this for me, and now that I know how to use it, we can begin whatever work she and my father started. I need to reach out to her.”

Atrea scoffs and I stalk towards her, refusing to be dismissed.

“Well, out with it then,” I say. “You clearly want to be such a boor about it, so tell me what you know.”

She straightens, her eyes sharpened to kill. In an even, cold voice, she says, “Your mother doesn’t want anything to do with you. She never has. You going into the Sea of Possibility isn’t going to change that.”

My jaw works for a moment and then I laugh. I can’t help it. What day am I now on for this ridiculous tromp through the woods? Four? No, five including the night that was spent in Desire’s manse. Less than a week ago I was stumbling over myself to try and get in her good graces. I would have let her say anything to me then. But to listen to this elf tell me about my mother now? Unacceptable.

“What would you know of my mother, Lady Emeria ?” I retort, crossing my arms and staring her down over the bridge of my nose. “And what makes you think I would waste time listening to such drivel?”

Based on what I know about Atrea, I expect her to come at me, a predator ready to strike. But this time, she crosses her arms, her thin lips curving into an eerie mockery of a grin that raises the hair on the back of my neck in a way that gives me caution and curiosity all at the same time.

“Knowing is my business. I spent a full tenday with the Faesari delegation. Those loopy Sea-walkers—”

“They are not loopy , they are fey-touched , Sea-touched ,” I snap. I don’t disagree, really, but I am half-Faesari, after all.

She rolls her eyes in an amused laugh. “ Loopy . Out of touch. But there was one thing that was clear.”

“A, come on, do you really gotta do this now?” Tommy asks nervously. He approaches her cautiously, as though she might spook and rear like a horse.

Her gaze flits to him and back to me. “He should know . Even if I am some random elf .”

Tommy runs his hand through his hair, a disapproving look on his face. Anger flares through me, hot and blazing. I’m being coddled, like a child, again. “Go on, be a boor about the matter—it’s not as though I’ll believe you one way or another. My oh-so-delicate ears are waiting.”

The haughtiness falls from her expression as her face sets, her lips pressing together tightly. For a moment she stares, her gaze narrow and her face hard.

“Fuck me running. Here we go,” Tommy sighs heavily before looking out at the tree line.

“Your mother has no vested interest in you, at all,” she repeats again. There’s an edge to her voice, a touch of anger, almost, but I can barely focus on it through the blow of her words. “The Faesari delegation had an explicit request to retrieve that necklace on your mother’s behalf. Of course, at the time I didn’t know exactly what it was they wanted to retrieve—something belonging to one of their own who joined with an Aurelian who passed.”

“Oh, is that all? That little tidbit is all you have? I discovered that enough and more on my own,” I reply. “Some business you have, knowing .”

Her brows knit as her gaze narrows, her glare dark. I’ve made her angry again. Oh, it’s far too easy to do, really.

“Spoiled Aurelian prince,” she hisses. “You defend the Faesari like they are your own, but you’re not one of them.”

“I am—”

“Oh, you are by blood, but that means nothing to the enclaves. Do you know how many half-elves are sired throughout Ilcanos that go unrecognized, like you? Because you don’t matter to them. ”

From the corner of my eye, Tommy reaches for his jagerstocks, frowning, peering through the trees. “Okay, seriously, let’s do this another time, yeah? We should keep moving.”

Each word may as well be one of her arrows right into my chest. I force myself to raise my chin and dismiss her and Tommy with a wave of my hand. I have no interest in listening to either of them. Why should I, when their interests are clearly vested in each other alone? “And what makes you think I’ll listen to the paltry words of some termite from the Trunk? I have better things to do with my time and energy.”

“Because you aren’t a member of the Thatch’s consortium.”

“Why would I be. As I recall, that’s reserved for you elves to provide immunity for your actions, no matter what you lot do.”

She clicks her tongue, annoyed. “While it’s true most half-elves are not registered with the consortium, half-elves of prominence or with families that have a strong presence outside of the enclave, like merchants, typically are.”

“Oh, please, spare me the—”

Atrea cuts me off with a snarl, “Oh? Then why is your cousin, Kassandra Echtarch, registered with the Carillon enclave?”

Everything in me stops. I never knew my Aunt Leanna; she passed when I was too young to remember her, but from what I can gather, she had a weaker constitution. Kassie talks about her from time to time, but I didn’t know…

“How do you know that?” I swallow. “And if you tell me that it’s because of your business, I—”

“I looked it up, before the tenday at court. I can’t get access to all members outside my enclave, but Aurelian royals are notable—that’s much easier information to get. Empress Denalia is registered with the Shonae enclave, in case that isn’t enough for you.”

My mind reels, the world starting to spin. Somewhere in the back of my mind a door closes. It’s reassuring and calming as much as it’s tumultuous. I either want to retch into the bushes or slink into bed for the rest of my life.

“Why did you tell me? Do you enjoy tormenting me?”

She stills, her expression going blank. “You should know,” she repeats, this time with emphasis.

I don’t know what to say to that. In fact, I’m so exhausted from everything, I can’t find the words at all. The silence between us stretches as Atrea waits for my retort, but I don’t have it in me.

Finally, I clear my throat and look to Tommy. “We should get going. If we head southeast, we’ll run into my estate.”

“We should leave. We’re close to Vinitore now,” Atrea says quietly, also looking to Tommy. “At this point it will be Benny’s Dozen or the guard. I’d rather take the Dozen.”

I frown, confused. Why would running into the guard be a bad thing for me…? Then I realize. She’s not talking to me, to us. She’s talking to Tommy. About leaving me. Of course, I don’t know why I keep expecting any other outcome.

Tommy shakes his head. “No, Karadin . I’m going to finish this out.”

Her gaze flickers back to Tommy then forward again. Her mouth twists downward, her jaw working a little and her voice tight as she snips, “Fine.”

He replies, but this time in the garbled Common that the denizens of the Trunk speak. But the tightness in the corners of her mouth ease a little as she nods and replies. He grins, light and easy. A familiar exchange, one of comfort and reassurance. It only makes my chest tighten.

Tommy looks over to me, handing me his water flask. I take it, even though I don’t want to. I want this nightmare to be over and to be back where I belong, with the few people who actually care about me. Not these rogues, who cut your purse strings and your heart strings alike.

Atrea’s head tilts, listening. “Nothing at the moment, but it may not last. I can run interference.”

Tommy nods. “Watch the walls, Karadin .”

Atrea nods and looks over at me. Her expression is unreadable, blank, her green eyes fixed on me. For a fleeting moment, I recall her content, languid smile and the sweet fluttering of her eyes as I kissed her asleep. Could she be thinking about that moment now? I want to reach out to her, to go back to that easy, relaxed atmosphere between us.

Before I can even move, she turns and bounds off into the woods, and my heart falls. Not even a goodbye… Of course not. I don’t know why I have such ridiculous expectations or aspirations. Atrea is nothing more than a termite of the Trunk, and I should know better.

Tommy sets a hand on my shoulder. “Come on, let’s go.”

I lead us through the woods, Tommy carefully and stealthily checking for anything lurking behind us, the silence between us heavy. What am I to do? All I can think of is Atrea turning tail all the way back to Yaventown. Then of her at the party, dancing in my arms. And then her joy and laughter as the tube flower sucked in its petals…

But then I recall her regret the morning after, her panic and then reassurance that what we shared was trivial. Insignificant. I clearly let my imagination get the best of me. Lady Emeria, Atrea, the she-wolf… What a sick joke.

“I don’t know why I’m letting it get to me,” I mutter. “It’s clear none of it mattered to her anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Tommy asks, turning to look back.

I scoff, rolling my eyes. “You said that you and her were karadin . That you’re supposed to protect each other. But she’s gone. Be honest, Tommy, she turned tail and ran and—”

Tommy whirls on me and, for the first time, I instinctively step back. I know he’s tall, but right now his presence is domineering, and I’m small under his hard-cut gaze.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says in an even, low, commanding voice. Practiced, as if he’s spoken to others like this before countless times. “Do not speak of karadin that way.”

Something in me ticks. “I understand that you’re lovers—”

“ Karadin is not a romantic bond. It is so much more than that. It’s a bond of brotherhood, of inscrutable trust. It is sacred .”

But his reverence is lost on me. It’s another reminder that I am, still, very much alone. “Yes, well, why don’t you go run off then with your karadin , then? Leave me here like she suggested. I can take care of myself, as you well know. I don’t need your assistance any longer and you can go back to whatever hovel you crawled out of from the Trunk until the next time you decide to kidnap someone.”

Tommy’s commanding demeanor vanishes, his shoulders hunching, almost curling in on themselves, making him suddenly seem so much smaller. His star-light eyes fall, casting downward. “I never wanted to hurt anyone. Fuck —why is it so hard to do the right thing?”

His voice is so quiet, so despondent that it roots me in place. He turns, trudging forward towards my home and guilt suddenly wracks me. What have I done? From the beginning, he was looking out for others, like Simon and Martin, changing the plan to his detriment when he learned they wanted to cut off my finger and hold me hostage, being as honest as he could be about the situation, and even going along with me when he didn’t have to.

After all of that, and after the nights we shared under the stars and entangled in each other’s arms, how could I say such a cruel, dismissive, ungrateful thing? Tommy has risked his life over and over to help me and cover for my own mistakes, and this is how I repay his kindness, his compassion?

“W-wait!” I call. “I… Tommy—”

He doesn’t look back or acknowledge me, still hunched over and so, so small. Everything about him seems so off, so wrong I can’t stand it.

I steady my resolve, take a few strides forward, and grab his arm. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I-I’m sorry . Perhaps Atrea is right and I’m acting like nothing more than a childish prince, which is abhorrent of me after all this. It’s been a long, hard several days and…”

“It’s fine, E. You don’t need to explain yourself,” he shrugs. He sounds nonchalant, but his eyes are still looking anywhere but at me.

“I do. Please, forgive me. I’m so used to being alone, really.” I can’t help my small laugh. “But you, Atrea, crashing into my life like this? The rapport we built?” My cheeks flush, embarrassed. “I liked it when we were in the Sea together—the three of us making our way through as best we could. But, I keep forgetting myself. You and Atrea are together, a team, a couple. I’m along for the ride.”

Tommy straightens, his eyes settling on me with an easy, reassuring confidence. Placing his hand on my shoulder, he says firmly, “No. You’re part of our cluster, for now, E. And we don’t leave the cluster hanging dry. That’s the point—we work together to make sure we all survive. Atrea knows the woods, and it’s easier for her to slink around on her own causing mayhem unnoticed. She’s giving us a chance to get away, so you can get home safely.”

“Don’t lie, Tommy, please. She cares about you making it home safely. If that means making sure I get home safely as well, then that’s a happy coincidence.”

Tommy gives me a long look that’s hard to read. “She told you her name, willingly, easily. Her name . Took me eleven years, and it took you less than a tenday. And she gave away all that information, all that easy gold…” Shrugging, he glances away.

“Why should that matter. It’s not like I remember her name or that the gesture amounted to anything.”

Tommy runs his hand through his hair. “Look, I know things got… tense, but you gotta understand. A doesn’t open up to everyone. And with you? She did and I think…” He blows out a breath. “I dunno, E. I don’t think she was expecting it, and that’s the worst mindset for her to be in.”

I cross my arms. “Then why was she so boorish and petty about all of it!?”

“First off, she could have charged you out the ass in gold for the information or used it against you, which she didn’t. Second—” He gives me a pointed look. “You really want to point fingers at her being petty, of all things?”

I open my mouth to respond in defense but then realize he’s right. I didn't help things at all, did I? I don’t know anything about information buying or selling but what was it that she said? ‘He should know.’ That she was compelled or obligated for some reason to divulge what she knew. I don’t know what to make of that.

I don’t add anything and continue forward; Tommy lightly twirls his jagerstocks and whistling a tune. Perhaps it’s easy for him to have a sense of security. From everything I’ve seen, he lets go of worries easily.

But I can’t quite let Atrea go. After a few minutes, I say, “How would that change her disposition. She’s the one who proposed leaving.”

“Because she probably thought you could make it rest of the way through on your own.” He shrugs. “I don’t doubt it either, but it doesn’t sit right with me.” He elbows me with a small, lazy grin. “Gotta finish what we started, yeah?”

“You mean what you started?” I tease lightly.

Tommy laughs, putting me more at ease.

“Is it really my fault for not wanting anything bad to happen to such a cutie?” He winks and I blush, but I know I’m smiling anyway.

“Thank the gods for my good peerage then.”

“And those cheekbones,” he adds.

I laugh and his smile broadens, his star-light eyes twinkling with amusement. “Well,” I begin, “It helps that you’re ah, well—” My cheeks burn as I glance over his strong and quite handsome physique. “What did you even do down in Karst to look like this?”

He barks a laugh, amused and warm. “Cutie, I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you.”

I’m sure I would, but he’s whistling again lightly and we continue along, side-by-side towards my home and the inevitable end of our misadventure.