Evan (Angel Institute #6)

Chapter 7

Seven

EVAN

T he morning sun peeks through the frosty windows of my cabin, casting a warm glow across the rough-hewn floorboards. I stretch, my muscles still aching from yesterday's work at the farm, but there's a lightness in my chest that I can't quite explain.

As I go through my morning routine, my mind keeps drifting back to yesterday, to the laughter and warmth and easy camaraderie of spending the day with Molly and Chad. I can't remember the last time I felt so content, so at peace with the world around me.

It's a strange feeling, this flicker of hope, this whisper of possibility. For so long, I've been focused on what I don't have, on the dreams that always seemed just out of reach. But now, as I think about Molly and Chad, about the joy they bring to my life, I wonder if maybe, just maybe, my dreams have been right in front of me all along.

I shake my head, a rueful smile tugging at my lips. Listen to me, getting all sentimental and introspective. If my buddies from high school could see me now, they'd never let me hear the end of it.

But as I step outside, the cold December air filling my lungs, I can't deny the truth of what I'm feeling. The farm, this town, this life—it's not what I planned, not what I thought I wanted. But maybe, if things continue with Molly and Chad, it could be something more. Something better.

Later that evening, I'm still lost in thought as I make my way into town, the streets already buzzing with excitement for the annual tree lighting ceremony. It's a Benton Falls tradition, one that brings the whole community together to celebrate the start of the holiday season.

As I walk, I wave at Betty, who is across the square just before I catch sight of Molly and Chad up ahead, huddled together against the cold. Chad is bouncing on his toes, his eyes wide with anticipation, while Molly looks on with a fond, indulgent smile.

"Evan!" Chad calls out, waving me over with a grin. "You made it!"

I chuckle, ruffling his hair as I join them. "Wouldn't miss it for the world, buddy. I hear Santa himself is going to be making an appearance."

Chad's eyes go wide, his mouth falling open in a perfect little 'o' of wonder. "Really? Do you think he'll remember what I asked for? I wrote him a letter and everything!"

Molly laughs, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. "I'm sure he will, sweetie. Santa never forgets a request from a true believer."

I watch them together, feeling a warmth bloom in my chest. There's just something about seeing Molly in full-on mom mode that gets to me, that makes me feel like I'm a part of something special, something real.

As if sensing my gaze, Molly glances up, her hazel eyes meeting mine. For a moment, it's like the rest of the world falls away, like there's nothing but the two of us, lost in the spell of the twinkling lights and the melodious strains of holiday music.

But then someone calls my name, breaking the moment, and I turn to see a familiar face pushing through the crowd.

"Evan Lawson, is that you?"

I blink, my brain taking a second to catch up. "Morgan? Morgan Caldwell?"

She grins, throwing her arms around me in a quick hug. "The one and only. Wow, it's been ages. How have you been?"

I return the hug, a little dazed. Morgan and I went to high school together, but I haven't seen her since graduation. Last I heard, she'd left Benton Falls to chase her dreams of being a big-shot TV producer in the city.

"I've been good," I say, stepping back to get a better look at her. She looks different, more polished and put-together than the girl I remember. "Just been keeping busy with the farm, you know how it is."

Morgan nods, her gaze flicking to Molly and Chad. "I heard you took over your family's place. That's great, Evan. Really great."

But there's something in her voice, a hint of pity or condescension, that sets my teeth on edge. Like she can't quite believe that I'm still here, still tied to this small-town life, while she's out there living the dream.

"And who's this?" she asks, turning her attention to Molly and Chad with a bright, curious smile.

I clear my throat, suddenly feeling awkward and unsure. "Oh, um, this is Molly and her son, Chad. They're... we're..."

I trail off, not quite knowing how to define what we are. Friends? Something more? The words stick in my throat, heavy and clumsy.

But Molly, bless her, steps in to save me. "We're good friends," she says warmly, extending a hand to Morgan. "Evan's been kind enough to let Chad and I help at the farm this year. It's been a real lifesaver, honestly."

Morgan takes her hand, shaking it with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "How nice," she says, her voice sugary sweet. "I'm sure Evan's just thrilled to have the extra help. Running that farm all by himself must be quite the challenge."

I bristle at her tone, at the implication that I'm somehow struggling, that I need to be pitied or saved. But before I can say anything, Chad pipes up, his voice bright with excitement.

"Evan's the best." He declares, bouncing on his toes. "He knows everything about Christmas trees, and he even let me help make a wreath yesterday. It was so cool."

Morgan's smile softens, becoming a little more genuine. "That does sound cool, buddy. You're a lucky kid, getting to spend so much time with Evan. He's one of the good ones."

I feel a flush creep up my neck, equal parts pleased and embarrassed by the praise. Morgan and I were never close, but we ran in the same circles, and I always got the sense that she thought I was a bit of a screw-up, a small-town boy with small-town dreams.

To hear her say something nice about me now, after all these years, feels strange. Like she's reassessing, seeing me in a new light.

"Thanks, Morgan," I say gruffly, shoving my hands in my pockets. "I'm the lucky one, really. Molly and Chad, they're... they're pretty special."

I glance at Molly as I say it, feeling a rush of warmth at the sweet, surprised smile that touches her lips. She holds my gaze for a moment, her eyes shining with something I can't quite name, before turning back to Morgan.

"So, what brings you back to Benton Falls?" she asks, her voice light and friendly. "Just here for the holidays, or...?"

Morgan laughs, a little too loudly. "Oh, no. I could never stay away from the city for that long. I’m a television producer and my news team was assigned to cover the gingerbread house contest. We’re out of here as soon as we wrap."

She says it casually, like it's no big deal, but I can hear the unspoken message beneath her words. That she's outgrown this place, this life. That she's moved on to bigger and better things, while the rest of us are still stuck in the same old rut.

It stings more than it should, this reminder of everything I've ever wanted for myself. The travel, the adventure, the chance to make something of myself beyond the boundaries of Benton Falls.

For a moment, I feel a hot flare of envy in my gut, a sudden, desperate longing for the freedom that Morgan has, the choices and opportunities that she gets to take for granted.

But then I feel a small hand slip into mine, and I look down to see Chad grinning up at me, his eyes bright with trust and affection. And just like that, the envy fades, replaced by a rush of gratitude, of warmth, of something that might just be love.

I squeeze Chad's hand, feeling a smile tug at my lips. "Hey, buddy, what do you say we go check out the hot cocoa stand? I hear they've got peppermint flavor this year."

He whoops with excitement, tugging me towards the stand with an exuberant "Come on, Evan."

Molly and I exchange a look of fond amusement as we let ourselves be pulled along in his wake. I wave goodbye to Morgan.

"He's a good kid," I murmur to Molly as we wait in line, the sweet scent of chocolate and mint wafting through the air.

Molly smiles, her shoulder brushing mine as she leans into me. "He is," she agrees. "And he thinks the world of you, Evan."

I swallow hard, suddenly feeling unsteady on my feet. It's one thing to know, in my heart, how I feel about Molly and Chad. But to hear her say it, to know that they feel the same way...

It's terrifying and exhilarating all at once, like standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to take the leap into something new, something unknown.

But before I can respond, it's our turn to order, and the moment passes, lost in the chaos of choosing toppings and juggling steaming cups of cocoa.

As we sip our drinks and watch the ceremony unfold, I can't shake the feeling of unease that Morgan's words have stirred up in me. The nagging sense that maybe she's right, that maybe I am settling, giving up on my dreams for the security of the familiar.

I glance at Molly, taking in the soft curve of her cheek, the way the twinkling lights dance in her eyes. She looks happy, content in a way that I envy. Like she's exactly where she's meant to be.

"How do you do it?" I ask suddenly, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. "How do you stay so positive, so hopeful, even when life doesn't turn out the way you planned?"

Molly looks at me, surprise flickering across her face. "What do you mean?"

I hesitate, not sure how to put my tangled thoughts into words. "I just... I know you've been through a lot, Molly. With your ex, and being a single mom, and working so hard to make ends meet. But you never seem to let it get you down. You're always smiling, always looking on the bright side. How do you do it?"

Molly is quiet for a moment, her gaze turning inward. "It's not always easy," she admits. "There are days when I want to give up, when I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm strong enough to keep going on my own."

She takes a sip of her cocoa, her breath fogging in the cold air. "But then I look at Chad, at the life we've built together, and I remember how lucky I am. I have a beautiful son, a job I love, friends who care about me. And maybe it's not the life I always imagined for myself, but it's a good life. A life worth being grateful for."

I nod slowly, turning her words over in my mind. "But don't you ever wonder about the road not taken? About what else might be out there, waiting for you?"

Molly smiles, a little sadly. "Of course I do. Everyone does. But dwelling on what might have been... it's a waste of energy. All we can do is make the best of what we have, and trust that we're exactly where we're meant to be."

I fall silent, mulling over her words. There's a wisdom, a strength in them I can't help but admire. But there's a part of me that rebels against the idea of just accepting my lot in life. That yearns for something more, something different.

"I guess I just... I don't want to wake up one day and realize I've let my whole life pass me by," I say quietly. "I don't want to have regrets, to wonder what I might have achieved if I'd just had the courage to chase my dreams."

Molly looks at me, her eyes searching mine. "And what are your dreams, Evan? What is it you want, more than anything?"

I open my mouth to answer, but the words won't come. Because the truth is, I'm not sure anymore. For so long, my dreams have been a vague, distant thing. The idea of escape, of adventure, of a life beyond the confines of Benton Falls.

But standing here, with Molly and Chad by my side, I'm wondering if maybe my dreams have been closer than I’ve realized. If maybe the things I've been running from are the very things that could make me happy, if I just let them.

"I don't know," I admit hoarsely. "I thought I did, but now... now I'm not so sure."

Molly nods, understanding flickering in her eyes. "That's okay," she says. "You don't have to have all the answers, Evan. No one does. But don't be so afraid of making the wrong choice that you miss out on the happiness that's right in front of you."

I swallow hard, feeling a sudden, irrational surge of anger. "That's easy for you to say," I snap. "You're the one who's always so content, so at peace with your life. But some of us want more, Molly. Some of us need more."

Molly recoils as if I've slapped her, hurt flashing across her face. "You think I don't want more?" she asks, her voice trembling. "You think I don't have dreams, hopes, things I wish I could change about my life?"

She shakes her head, tears welling in her eyes. "I've made my peace with the choices I've made, Evan. But that doesn't mean they were easy. It doesn't mean I don't have regrets, that I don't wonder every single day if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm being the best mother I can be to Chad."

I stare at her, shocked by the raw pain in her voice. "Molly, I..."

But she cuts me off, her words tumbling out in a rush. "You want to know about my marriage, Evan? You want to know why I'm so dang grateful for the life I have now? Because my ex was a liar and a cheat. Because he made me feel small, and stupid, and worthless. Because he left me with a mountain of debt and a broken heart and a little boy who cries himself to sleep at night wondering why his daddy doesn't love him anymore."

I feel like I've been punched in the gut; the air rushing out of my lungs. "Molly. I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

She wipes at her eyes, taking a shuddering breath. "I don't talk about it much," she says quietly. "It's not exactly a feel-good story. But my point is, I know what it's like to have your dreams shattered. To have to pick up the pieces and start over, even when it feels impossible. And I choose to be grateful, Evan. I choose to find joy in the life I have, because the alternative is giving up. And I will never, ever give up on my son."

I reach out, wanting to take her hand, to offer some kind of comfort. But she pulls away, wrapping her arms around herself like a shield.

"I think I should go," she says softly, her voice thick with tears.

My heart clenches, panic rising in my throat. "Molly, wait. Please. I didn't mean..."

But she's already turning away, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs as she disappears into the crowd.

I stand there, frozen, my mind reeling. What have I done? How could I have been so stupid, so selfish, so blind to the pain that Molly's been carrying all this time?

I think of all the moments we've shared, all the laughter and warmth and tentative hope. The way she makes me feel like I'm a part of something, like I belong.

And now, with a few thoughtless words, I may have ruined it all.

I close my eyes, fighting back the sting of tears. I don't know what to do, how to fix this. All I know is that the thought of losing Molly, of losing the one bright spot in my life, is more terrifying than anything I've ever faced.

I have to make this right. I have to show her how much she means to me, how sorry I am for making her doubt herself, doubt my feelings for her.

But as I stand there, lost and alone in the middle of the town square, the twinkling lights and joyful laughter suddenly hollow and false, I can't help but wonder if it's too late.

If I've already lost the one thing that matters most.