Everything I Desire (Lupine Valley #3)

1. Chapter One

Chapter One

Adelaide

I love my job. Teaching high school offers something different everyday. No day is the same and that is my favorite part.

But today, I hate my job. Today, I have to call Stacey Miller. The social worker for one of my students because she told me that her mom, a friend of my older sister, hasn’t come home in a few days. I know her mom, Maura, struggles with addiction. It’s all Kayla has known her whole life.

I steel myself and make the call, readying myself for whatever we might find out.

“Hey, Addy, what’s up?” She answers on the first ring.

“Hey Stacey. I hate to make this call but,” I pause.

“But, Maura hasn’t been home in a few days, has she?” She finishes my thought because she knows what I need when I call her during the school day.

“Yea. Kayla came to me this morning. Apparently she left five days ago and hasn’t been home since. This is the longest she’s been gone. Can you find out where she is? ”

“Of course. I’m on it. I’ll give you a call by lunch time. If I don’t find her, are you good taking Kayla for the night?”

I’d started letting Kayla stay with me when Maura began regularly disappearing about a year ago, right after her fifteenth birthday. I know it’s not usually allowed, but we’re a small town, and a small community so it works in my favor.

I love having Kayla with me, it means a night I don’t have to worry about her. Even if it’s just for the night.

“You know I am, Stace. She’s welcome anytime. But let me know what you find.” We say our goodbyes and I know I’ll have a call back before lunch.

I take a deep breath, then two more, and plaster a smile on my face, to head back in to help my students finish up their persuasive essays. I won’t need to pretend too long though, I know they’ll brighten my mood. Especially because they are loving these persuasion pieces they have been writing for a few weeks. Their excitement is contagious. I allowed my students to choose and research a societal issue and they had to write a persuasive essay to their belief on the topic. Kind of like a debate club.

I won’t see Kayla again until my last period of the day. It makes me happy that I get to start and end my day with her. I wouldn’t say she’s my favorite student, but she definitely needs some extra love that me and my family are happy to give her. Another benefit of a small community is that we generally have very caring and loving families. Only a few students need that extra love.

Stacey calls me during my lunch break and tells me that Maura hasn’t been found. Stacey’s dad, the local sheriff for as long as I can remember, has checked all Maura’s usual haunts. We make plans for Kayla to stay with me until her uncle can be reached.

Since they can’t find Maura and it’s been this long already he will need to be contacted as her emergency contact. Maura has never disappeared for more than a night or two.

Her uncle, who just so happens to be Porter Jackson, the love of my life, ran away from me ten years ago never to be heard from again. At least, I haven’t heard from him again.

There is a knock on my classroom door, “Come in!” I yell out.

“Hey. Ms. Harper, can I come in?” Kayla stands tentatively at my door, her shoulders hunched forward, staring at her fidgeting fingers. I miss her outgoing attitude. She’s withdrawn into herself a lot over the last year. I've tried my best, but who knows what she's seeing at home.

“Of course you can! Come on in. Do you need lunch?” I don’t even know if the poor girl has food at home .

“No thanks. I ate in the cafeteria before I came here. Have you heard from Ms. Stacey yet? Have they found my Mom?” she asks, and I see in her fidgety stance that she’s nervous for the answer.

I pull a chair up next to my desk and motion for her to sit. “I’m sorry sweetie. They haven’t been able to find her.” I give her a sad smile.

“Of course she’s still missing. She’s probably in some drug house overdosing right now.” The switch to anger in Kayla is sudden.

“Sweetheart, there’s more. Stacey told me that she is going to call your Uncle Porter to come stay with you.”

“What? Why? She’s never had to call him before. Why can’t I just stay with you? I don’t need him. I just want to stay with you.” She starts crying into her hands.

Rubbing her back, I try to comfort her. “I know it’s hard right now, and I can’t say it’s going to get better anytime soon. But I know Porter will come for you. He loves you. Stacey is going to come here after school to talk to us and let us know what the next steps are.”

“I’m so mad at her Ms. Harper. Why can’t she be a normal mom? Why did she do this to me? Why can’t she just love me enough to stop?” Woah. I was not expecting this outburst.

“Hey, I know it’s a tough situation. But your mom loves you in her own way, and your Uncle Porter, he definitely loves you. Plus you have me and Stacey here for you. Always.” I pull her in for a hug .

“Can you come with me to the guidance counselor so I can ask about spending the afternoon with her? I don’t think I want to finish the day, but clearly I’m stuck here.” Poor girl. I can’t even imagine having the strength she does to deal with her life.

“Of course, I already spoke with her and let her know you might be coming to visit.”

I walk Kayla down to the office and we talk to the counselor together. She agrees to let Kayla work in the offices for the rest of the afternoon as long as she goes to gather the rest of her work. I’m glad for our guidance counselor. She’s truly amazing with each student, listening to them and offering loving support. This poor girl doesn’t need anything else thrown at her today.

After my last class, I call down to the office to let them know that Kayla can come down to my room again, and that the counselor should come too because Stacey is already here.

Kayla comes in with the counselor, and I can see every emotion playing out on her face. Her eyes show that same haunted look that Porter had at her age. The frown is etched deep on her face, and she carries herself slowly, the exhaustion showing in her body.

“I’m not going to New York with Uncle Porter. I’m just not,” she blurts out before anyone even says anything .

She takes the seat by me and puts her hand out for me to squeeze. This girl has wiggled her way deep into my heart over the last year.

“Okay Kayla. No one is going to force you to do anything right now, I promise. I did talk to your uncle this afternoon -”

Kayla interrupts her quickly, “And he can’t come, right?”

“Actually, he is coming. He will be here tomorrow morning, so you can stay with Ms. Harper this evening, and then Porter will be home for you tomorrow after school.” Kayla scoffs.

“Honey, I know this is hard. I know you haven’t been able to see your uncle in a long time, but I promise he cares about you very much and only wants what is best for you. He fought hard for you, but your Mom wouldn’t let him come around.”

I remember Stacey telling me about the court cases, many of them over so many years. They started only a couple years after he left.

“Yea. Whatever. I guess we’ll see how long he stays around.” She slumps back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest.

I give her a little squeeze with my arm around her shoulders. “Hey, you know what, you have a whole day to get used to this idea. And in the meantime, you and I can grab pizza and ice-cream for dinner. I bet my Mom will even come over and make cookies with us.” She loves my mom’s cookies, like everyone else .

Mom and Kayla get along well. She has taken Kayla under her wing, taking her shopping, and being there for her when Maura decides she doesn't like the relationship I have with her daughter. But no one can resist the charm of Lorelei Harper, including Maura.

Kayla nods. She looks so defeated with her life and I can’t blame her.

But now, I have my own problem beyond this situation with Kayla.

Porter Jackson is coming home to Lupine Valley for the first time in ten years.

The realization that I’m going to see him again after ten years hits me like a freight train. My chest constricts, and it seems impossible to breathe.

My emotions are ping ponging between hurt, anger, and excitement. The memories of us have me hoping that he’s staying and we can get another chance. What will I do if he comes back with a wife? Or a girlfriend? I can’t bear to see him with someone else. But at the same time the memories of that morning when Willow found me are just as clear, add on to that the fact that he wouldn’t even talk to me after he left.

After that morning he didn’t show, I spent weeks calling and texting him. Everytime he gave me the same robotic response; Quit trying, Adelaide. I’m no good for you. You’re meant for more.

That response isn’t my Porter. He was closing himself off.

He was lost to me. And he wasn’t coming back.

Except now he is.