Everything I Desire (Lupine Valley #3)

20. Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

Porter

“Let’s go, everyone!” I yell impatiently from the front door.

We were supposed to leave twenty minutes ago, but Eric was late from baseball practice. And Addy is making a dinner picnic since Eric won’t have time to eat dinner before we leave, and I really just need them to leave the house. We are trying to go for a hike and time the summit with the sunset. But that means we need to leave, five minutes ago.

Addy appears with a backpack full to the brim. Kayla behind her with an equally full backpack. “Are we moving in up there?” I ask.

“You hush. You won’t be complaining when you’re devouring a chicken salad sandwich, pasta salad, and all the other goodies we packed.” She admonishes me.

I kiss her forehead. “You’re right, baby. Thank you. But we don’t want to miss the sunset so we really do need to get a move on.”

Eric parks his car right as we’re walking to the truck. He runs up and pulls Kayla in for a hug. I turn to the truck and roll my eyes as I load up all the shit the girls packed that I’ll end up carrying.

“Just remember, that was you and I once upon a time.” Addy laughs at me.

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I remember what I thought about, and did to you,” I shudder. Her laughter carries through the truck as Kayla and Eric climb in.

The four of us make small talk for the short ride to the trailhead. I can see Eric holding Kayla’s hand on the seat in the rearview mirror. It makes me wonder what would have been different had Addy’s parents supported our relationship. Would something still have happened to make me run? Or would I have felt like I had enough support to fight my demons as a kid?

Even though Kayla’s family is unconventional at the moment, and dysfunctional at others, I still think she feels supported by myself and Addy. Even Addy’s family reaches out to her to check on her. I’m glad that she feels that love on a daily basis now, and that she’s had Addy love her longer than this.

I park the truck at the trailhead and shake the thoughts of the past out of my head. We all gather our stuff, Eric and I carry the massive backpacks that contains a picnic for four, or twelve knowing Addy.

We finish the last bit of the scramble at the top just as the sun starts to descend on the horizon. The pinks, oranges, and reds streak across the sky, touching the mountain ranges on the other side of the valley.

Addy and I used to escape up here to see this sunset more times than I can count.

I pull out the blanket from Eric’s backpack and we set it out in our favorite spot, a flat slab of granite, for watching the sun go down above the river.

The view is phenomenal. Two mountain ranges on either side of the river, and the sun sets directly in the middle over the river below. The wildflower field along the river reflects the colors of the sunset in their petals. It’s truly a magical experience.

We eat our sandwiches in silence as the four of us just watch in awe. This is Eric and Kayla’s first time up here. I love getting to watch them experience it for the first time.

It has a therapeutic effect on you. Even though Addy has seen it hundreds of times over the years, she still sits the same way with her lips slightly parted, one knee up, one leg out. She leans back on her palms against the slab of granite we sit on.

I lean back with her and sigh contentedly. If anyone had asked me at any point in the last ten years if I thought I would be here today, I would have laughed in their face. But here I am. It’s an unreal feeling to know that I have Addy with me again. And having custody of my niece that I fought so hard for.

Eric and Kayla walk off to explore the summit some more before the sun completely disappears. Addy crawls over and slides in between my legs laying back on my chest.

“It’s still so beautiful isn’t it?” She asks.

“Not as beautiful as the woman in my arms.” I lean down and kiss her neck.

“You know, when you left I came here almost everyday. I used to talk to you. Like somehow the river below would carry my words to you.” She snuggles into me as a light breeze blows across our skin. "I couldn't bear going to the lake, but this mountain top gave me the comfort I needed."

“Addy, I’m so-”

“No. I didn’t tell you so you’d be sorry, Porter. I just wanted you to know that even if you were gone I still loved you every day. I have always had so much hope you’d come back for me. And here we are. Sometimes it still feels like a dream.”

I lean back on the rock behind me and just hold her. We don’t need words anymore. Not now that I finally believe the ones she’s saying about myself.

I’m home finally, and my home is her.

On the way home, a bad feeling has taken root in my gut. This immense feeling of dread seems to be permeating through the cab of the truck. Everyone is quiet, and looking out their own windows.

I can’t put my finger on what, but it’s a gut feeling I’ve learned to trust. I pause before opening the door and look at Addy .

“What’s wrong?” She whispers, looking around.

“I don’t know. I just have a bad gut feeling that something is about to happen.” I whisper back.

We both get out of the truck, Kayla and Eric come back to help get our stuff out, but I send them inside. I wish I could explain what it is, but I know she shouldn’t be out here. I don't want them outside. I have my phone ready to call Brad and hand it to Addy just in case.

Once the front door clicks shut, Maura steps out from the shadows.

Addy’s hand tenses in mine.

“For fucks sake, Porter, you really shacking up with this one? You had to go and pick the one woman out of your league, and the one who tries just as hard as you to keep my girl away from me, huh? You must really have it out for me,” she spits out.

“Jesus, Maura. You really can’t see when someone is trying to help you, can you? I’m offering to pay for your rehab and you still think I’m just out to get you? To steal Kayla?”

“Fuck you, Porter!” She staggers toward me. “I am her mother. Me. I know what’s best. Give her back to me!”

She’s slurring, and holding a paper bag with an amber glass bottle hanging out the top. How cliche.

She’s just like Mom. Staggering around with her alcohol, the rubber tie she uses to shoot up still on her arm. She had the same upbringing as me, how we ended up polar opposites is beyond me. But it’s probably the only reason I have as to why I’m still trying to help her, get her into rehab.

And why I haven’t called Brad yet.

The front door whips open and Kayla stomps out into the yard. Eric follows behind her, grasping at the air in her wake, obviously trying to stop her. She is inches from Maura’s face within seconds.

“Stop it! Stop yelling at him! Uncle Porter and Addy are one hundred percent better parents than you ever have been. I don’t wonder if I’ll have food. I don’t wonder if some high asshole is going to try to break in when you aren’t home. I don’t lay awake at night afraid of every noise. You are not a mother. So leave now and don’t come back!” She runs back inside where Eric is waiting for her. I see him pull her in for a hug, and know that he will care for her in the next few minutes until I can get Maura to leave. The parallels between their relationship and mine with Addy is too much. I breathe a sigh of relief as he ushers her back inside, softly closing the door behind them. Ironically, grateful for Eric.

“Maura, I’ve already told you I was getting custody. You showing up here, drunk, or high, maybe both, isn’t helping your case. So again, please listen closely. Either leave, or go to rehab. I’m here when you’re ready for the second.” I turn my back to Maura, take Addy’s hand and walk up the porch into the house.

I take a deep breath before going to Kayla. Seeing Maura set me on edge and I know I need to let Sheriff Miller and Stacey know, but first I need to see Kayla and make sure she’s okay.

Addy is already sitting with Kayla on the couch, she is holding Kayla, sobs wrack her small frame. It absolutely guts me that I let this happen. I sit on the other side of her and wrap my arms around both of them. A small voice telling me this is why I'll never deserve them, I can't even protect her at her own home.

Eric takes a cue from the situation and goes to the kitchen to give us a moment under the guise of getting Kayla something to drink. It makes me respect him just a little bit more as a man.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Addy asks her while stroking her hair back from her tear streaked face.

“No. She’s a shitty mom, and I just want her to leave me alone if she isn’t going to change.” The three of us pull apart.

“I just want to watch a movie with Eric if you guys don’t mind?” She says, looking to me for approval.

If there is anyone who understands how she feels right now, it’s me.

“Of course we don’t mind. You snuggle in, I’ll get Eric, and send in some snacks.” Addy smiles at her. I give her another hug and follow Addy to the kitchen.

I wrap an arm around her waist and whisper into her ear, “I need to go call Sheriff Miller. I’m going to go up to my room so Kayla doesn’t have to hear.”

She kisses my cheek and I leave her alone in my kitchen.

I dial Sheriff Miller’s number, and it only rings once before he picks up.

“Hey, Son. What can I do for ya?” He answers.

“Hey, Sheriff. I just wanted to let you know that Maura showed up at the house tonight. She was high, or drunk, or both I’m not sure. But she confronted me and accused me of stealing Kayla again.”

“Damn that woman. I wish she’d see what she’s doing to that girl.” He curses.

“Me too. But I gave her the same ultimatum tonight, leave us alone, or go to rehab. I think we both know she won’t choose either.” I tell him. I pace around my room, rubbing my hand through my hair, making it stick up on its ends.

“I’ll find her, don’t you worry anymore. I’ll let her sleep it off and then I’ll try to talk some sense into her tomorrow again when she’s sober.”

“Thanks, can you do me one more favor?”

“You name it.” The man I know now, is not the man I’ve had in my head for years. If I could have just gotten out of my way when I was younger I would have seen that he wanted to help me in his own way.

“Could you just let Stacey know. I don’t really want to rehash it again. She can call me if she needs to tomorrow. ”

“Sure can. She’s at the house now so don’t you worry. I’ll send Brad out right now too. Hopefully she’s still close by and he can bring her in.”

“Thank you. Tell Stacey and Brad thank you also.” I hang up as Addy walks into the bedroom carrying a bowl of popcorn.

“Thanks, baby.” I pull her down on my lap.

“I brought you some popcorn, figure we can watch a movie in here to give them some privacy.”

I scoff, “They don’t need privacy, they need-”

“Porter. They do. Kayla is upset and she doesn’t want us, or an audience. Let Eric do for her like I did for you.” She stares at me letting me know this is final.

“Fine.” I whine. I don’t want to admit it, but she’s right. I never needed anyone but her when shit went down.

We settle in on my bed and pick a movie. But I leave my door open so I can hear what’s going on downstairs. I still don’t trust teenage boys, good intentions or not.

“Stop worrying. He’s a good kid.”

I mock her in response.

She laughs at me and hits play on the movie, when I turn the volume down more she stares at me and can’t keep a straight face.

“I love this protective dad thing you have going on.” She kisses my cheek and snuggles into my side.

“Yea. It’s awesome.” I say grumpily .

Sheriff Miller : We found Maura. Brought her in. She’s definitely high and drunk. I’m going to have a good talkin’ to with her in the mornin’. Don’t worry, Son.

Me : Thanks. Keep me posted.

I lean back into my pillows and feel the tension leave my body. Even if it’s just for the night I don’t have to worry about Maura coming back to start more shit.

“Mmm you just relaxed. Who was that?” She’s so attuned to my body’s reactions I shouldn’t be surprised she notices the minute the stress leaves me.

“Maura is in jail for the night. I know that shouldn’t relax me and it probably makes me a bad person but she won’t be back to bother Kayla. Or be able to overdose later.” I lean my head on top of hers.

“You’re not a bad person because you’re looking out for your niece and sister. You’re a good man, Porter.” She lays her head back on my chest, finishing the conversation on that.

I don’t know what I’ve done in this life to deserve the angel sitting with me, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to deserve her.