Everything I Wish For (Lupine Valley #5)

1. Chapter One

Chapter One

Lauren

I wipe the front of my shirt to free the dust clinging to me. I turn and survey the piles of boxes that contain all my Christmas decorations. A satisfied smile creeps onto my face. Every year I win the Lupine Valley Christmas home decoration contest. Except I usually have my Dad’s help.

The smile disappears as quickly as it came. Mom and Dad can’t come home to Lupine Valley for the holidays this year. They have come home every year for the past five years since they moved to Florida for retirement. With my brother Ethan’s wedding so close to Christmas, they’ve decided to stay in Florida since his wedding will be in Key West. So this year I will go at it alone.

Like I do everything else, alone.

I get all the boxes into my living room to start sorting. The first box I open sets the fury running through my body. Angry at myself for not throwing this box away, but instead shoving it to the back of the attic. Now I’m reaping the consequences. Just when I might have started to forget.

Inside this first box are all the Christmas ornaments from my ex. The ex who decided that moving to Spain for a promotion was more important than me, his fiancée. Well, now ex-fiancée as he’s happily married to some Spanish model for the last four years.

I slam the cover closed and march it right out to the trash like I should have done five years ago when Damon left on Christmas Eve without so much as a conversation before ending our engagement.

“Listen, Lauren, I love you. But this opportunity is something I think I should go into single. Really take advantage of what is being offered to me. Maybe in a year or so we can revisit the relationship.” He slings his bag over his shoulder, ready to just leave us behind.

“It’s Christmas Eve, Damon. How long have you known about this?” I spit out.

“Does it matter, Lauren? I’m going.”

“How. Fucking. Long. Damon?” My nostrils flare with anger.

“Six months,” he answers unwillingly, inching closer to the door.

“Six months? You’ve known this information for six months and you’re just now telling me? After letting me put deposits on wedding venues, and photographers, and caterers? For our wedding that’s supposed to be happening in just under four months? And now you decide to tell me?” He opens his mouth to speak but I’m too angry.

“Get the fuck out,” I say walking closer to him, pushing him toward the door. I slam the door shut the second he’s out.

True to his word he did in fact reach out after a year of arguing, not to tell me that he wants me to come join him.

No, he sent me his goddamn wedding invitation with a photo of him and his Spanish model. The conceited asshole even had the nerve to write a note on the back.

Please don’t wait for me any longer, I’ve moved on. - D.

I may have set it on fire and threw it in the snow. I definitely never told my firefighter brother that though.

When I get back inside from unceremoniously dumping the offending box into the trash, my phone is ringing on the couch. I recognize the personalized ringer, grab it, and swipe to answer quickly.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Hi! You sound out of breath, did I catch you at a bad time?”

I swipe some hair out of my face. “No, I was just running some stuff out to the trash cans.”

“Oh, okay. I was just calling to catch up with you.”

“I’m glad you did, Mom. I was just thinking about how much it sucks you and Dad won’t be here this year for decorating and Christmas.”

“You’re just the sweetest. I miss you so much, can’t wait to see you at the wedding in a few weeks though.”

Right. My baby brother, Ethan, is getting married to the loveliest woman. I’m happy for him, but the reality of it stings a little. I’m the older sister, I should be getting married. I should already be married, but instead now I just have trust issues.

“Have you found anyone to come with you since Jen canceled?” she asks hopefully. “If you haven’t, my neighbor’s son is visiting and I bet he’ll stay a little longer to attend Ethan’s wedding with you.”

“Mom—”

“Before you yell at me, he is gorgeous, works at an investment firm in Minnesota, and he’s almost forty. I learned my lesson.”

Last time I went to visit them in Florida, she tried to set me up on a blind date with her other friend’s son. He was twenty-four to my, well, over thirty. Needless to say, I read her the riot act when I got back. That is still Ethan’s favorite story to tell, because luckily for him, that’s when he met this child’s older sister, Vivian. Now those two are heading to wedded bliss.

“Mom, I’m actually bringing my boyfriend,” I blurt out, cringing at the words as soon as I realize what I’ve said.

“A boyfriend? You haven’t told me about any boyfriend. How long have you been seeing him?” She of course questions my sudden confession.

“Oh you know him, we’ve been friends for years, and it’s really new, but he’s happy to come with me.” I slap my hand over my face knowing who I’m about to bring into this mess with me.

“Oh, that’s wonderful! Who is it?”

“Brad Robertson.” He’s going to kill me.

A pause on the phone. It must be sinking in for her. “Oh, my goodness! I can’t believe it! I always knew you two would get together one day! I can’t believe Miriam hasn’t told me about you two yet!”

Shit. Why didn’t I think about Mom and Miriam being friends before I started this lie?

“Mom, it’s so, so new. Please don’t tell her anything. We aren’t telling people yet. You know what it’s like to start a relationship in a small town. We just want to see if it’s the right thing for us before we go public.” I slump my shoulders forward and put Mom on speaker so I can text Brad.

Me: Hey, I really need to talk to you. Like asap.

Brad is my best friend, the best friend that I’ve had a crush on since high school. The best friend that I’m in love with. The best friend who doesn’t think of me the same way, and never has.

Brad: Oh, shit. Phone or in person?

Me: In person.

Brad: I’m not off shift until the morning, want to meet at the diner for breakfast?

Of all nights for him to be working. Maybe if I pretend to commit a crime he’ll come here to investigate and then I can talk to him sooner.

“Well, I don’t think Miriam would blast it to everyone. I think that she would be just as happy as I am!” Mom’s voice makes me snap the text app shut as if she could read my message to Brad.

“Mom.” A warning laces my tone.

“Okay, fine, I won’t tell my best friend that our children are finally together just like we hoped for all these years. I guess I’ll just keep that to myself.” She lays on the guilt, thick.

“Thanks, Mom. Listen, I’ve got to go. I love you!”

I hang up and sigh. I’ve seriously screwed myself.

Me: Not the diner, too many ears, how about I cook?

Brad: Hell yeah, your breakfasts are the best. Is 8 too early? I can grab a shower and head over.

It’s on the tip of my fingers to tell him he can grab a shower here, but that might not be a good idea. I need as much time as possible to prepare for this conversation, and picturing him naked in my shower isn’t going to help.

Me: 8 is perfect. I’ll make your favorites.

Brad: A pancake bar? With bacon? You must need a big ass favor.

If only he knew what was coming his way.

My next task is getting the girls here ASAP. I need their help with the situation I’ve gotten myself into. I send off a text to the group, and they all respond to my 911 immediately.

Within five minutes, all four Harper sisters are on my front porch with junk food, and wine.

I swing the door open and welcome them in with a morose look on my face.

“Oh, shit. It’s bad.” Lacey hugs me on her way in.

“The Christmas decorations aren’t unpacked yet, that definitely means bad,” Addy points out.

Willow speaks up next. “Nothing we can’t handle ladies. Let’s get this food laid out.”

Scarlett clears my coffee table of Christmas boxes and I bring in wine glasses and an opener.

Lacey has been my best friend since high school. It was always Brad, Lacey, and me. Now that all her sisters are back in Lupine Valley we have the best girl gang around. I can always count on them.

“Ugh, girls. I really fucked myself,” I sigh.

“Spill it,” Scarlett says, pouring us a glass of white wine.

“So I may have told my mom I was dating someone to avoid another blind date disaster, and that he would be coming to Ethan’s wedding with me next month, and I might have panicked when she asked about it and the only name that came to my mind on such short notice was Brad’s.” I cringe.

“Oh, shit!” Lacey laughs. “This is going to be great.”

“It is not going to be great! He’s going to kill me. And I bet Mom already called Miriam, and I can’t even talk to him until eight in the morning when he’s off shift and over here for pancakes.” I look at the floor.

“He won’t be pissed, I can almost guarantee that,” Addy says, smiling over her wine glass.

“I can also guarantee that,” Willow adds. “If you saw how he looks at you, you would know he won’t be mad.”

“Maybe this is the push you guys need to finally get together.” Scarlett shrugs.

“He doesn’t want to be together. If he did, he would have made his move years ago when he moved back to Lupine Valley and I was single. It’s not like I’ve hidden my feelings. And I’m not the one who pulls away every time he kisses me and then regrets it.” I pout and swallow my glass of wine in one gulp.

I thrust my now empty glass out to Scarlett for a refill, which she does happily.

Over the years since we’ve both been back and single, I’ve not hidden my feelings from him. He’s only ever allowed himself to act on it a few times, but it never goes anywhere, if anything it makes him pull back from me, and makes me feel worse about the whole thing. I should just move on, find a new man to love who loves me back.

“Okay, getting drunk is not going to help.” Willow places a hand over the top of my glass.

I glare at her, take the glass out from under her palm and stick it further into Scarlett’s space.

“So, this is all you’re getting. You need a clear head to talk to Brad in—” Lacey looks at her watch, “fourteen hours.”

“Oh, my God! My mom is for sure already on the phone with Miriam.” I collapse sideways into my couch and Lacey’s hand rubs my back.

“Girl. We’ve got nothing but we can watch rom-coms about fake dating and give you pointers.” Addy grabs the remote off my coffee table and turns the TV on.

“I guess if that’s all we’ve got, nothing can make this situation worse.” I sigh with my face still buried in the couch.

I hear a movie start and sit up to take note.

Fuck. What have I done?

“Okay, but like, is it really that bad that you’re going to fake date the man you’re in love with?” Lacey shrugs before pulling me into her.

“Yes! How can you even ask that? He’s going to be so mad.” Willow starts to say something but I cut her off with, “If you say one more time how he looks at me I swear to God, I will cut you off from pizza.”

I grab the box and pull it toward me, getting a piece for myself.

“Okay, I won’t, but only because you threatened pizza. Have you ever specifically asked him how he feels about you? You might be surprised,” she offers instead.

“It’s a little late for that now.”

Putting my glass out for a refill, Scarlett shakes her head. I glare at her. She is not being helpful by withholding more wine.

“Can we make a pros and cons list for fake dating Brad?” Addy claps her hands together in excitement. A teacher through and through, she loves pro/con lists.

I groan into my pizza. I have no control over what these women are about to do.

“Okay, pro—he’s hot.” Lacey starts the list.

“Con—I lose my best friend.”

“But pro—you’re best friends. It’ll be easy and no fake story building.” Addy scribbles down her own idea.

“Con—I hurt our families.”

“Oh that is a big con,” Scarlett agrees with me. I knew I liked her best. “But a pro could be that he finally admits he feels the same way.”

Nope. Back to the bottom of my favorite people list for her.

“Con—we’re going to be all anyone talks about and that gossip will follow me forever.”

This time Lacey chimes in to counter me. “Pro—you’re already together all the time, and he’s friends with Ethan, so no one will think anything of it.”

“I hate you all.” I tuck my feet up underneath myself.

Addy slides next to me on the couch. “I don’t think it will be bad at all. I really think this will work out for the best.”

“Easy for you to say.” I pout again.

At least I have thirteen hours left to figure out what I’m going to say to him. And prepare for him to walk out and never talk to me again because I’m such an idiot.