Expose on the Ice (Sparks on the Ice #1)

Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

LILY

M y eyes are gritty from lack of sleep as I blink awake. The digital clock on the nightstand glares an angry 5:47 AM at me. I groan, rolling onto my back and staring at the ceiling of my hotel room. Sleep had been elusive all night, my mind a chaotic whirlwind of conflicting thoughts and emotions.

Every time I close my eyes, I see Carter’s face, feel the ghost of his lips on mine, his hands…

I shiver, heat blooming in my cheeks. God, what had I done?

The memory of our kiss plays on a loop in my head. The taste of whiskey on his tongue, the warmth of his body pressed against mine, the way his fingers had dug into my hips… It had been electric, passionate, and utterly terrifying.

"Fuck," I mutter, sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

This is bad. This is really, really bad. I’m here to do a job, to write a series on Carter Knox, to get to his deepest secrets. Not to… what? Let him feel me up? Fall into bed with him? Have some torrid affair with my subject?

The journalist in me is screaming about ethics violations and compromised objectivity. But another part of me, a part I’d been trying to ignore since I first laid eyes on Carter, whispers in my ear that this is exactly what I want. That I can have him and his story. That I know his vulnerabilities.

That I have what I need to publish a bombshell.

I shake my head, disgusted with myself. No. I can’t use… whatever this is… whatever he’d told me… to further my career. It isn’t right. And it would make my position with the team – and with him – for the rest of the season utterly untenable.

But as I pad to the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face, I can’t help but replay our conversation from last night. The vulnerability in Carter’s eyes as he’d shared the pressure he was under, the way his voice had softened when he admitted I wasn’t what he’d expected.

There had been genuine emotion there, cracks in the armor he usually wore. And for a moment, I’d seen the real Carter Knox, not the carefully crafted image he presented to the world, the lump of granite who let the waves of life break over him without moving an inch.

I lean against the bathroom counter, meeting my gaze in the mirror. Dark circles shadow my eyes, and my hair is a tangled mess. I look exactly how I feel – confused, conflicted, and completely out of my depth.

Then, I notice it.

A hickey on my neck.

"You’ve got to be kidding me?" I curse.

Even if I can cover up the visual evidence, and it’s a big if, what am I supposed to do now? Pretend nothing had happened? Try to talk to Carter about it?

And what about my assignment? How can I possibly write an objective profile on a man I’d kissed? A man who’d felt just about every inch of me from outside my clothes?

A man whose fingers had been inches from being in me…

I groan, dropping my head into my hands.

But even as I berate myself for my lack of professionalism, I can’t deny the thrill that runs through me at the memory of Carter’s touch. The way he’d looked at me, like I was the only person in the world.

"Stop it," I hiss at my reflection. "You’re here to do a job, Lily. Nothing more."

But the words ring hollow, even to my ears. Because deep down, I know that something has shifted between Carter and me last night. Something that can’t be undone or ignored.

CARTER

"Fuck," I groan.

I wake up feeling like a freight train has hit me. My head pounds, my mouth tastes like something had died in it, and my stomach churns. But the physical discomfort is nothing compared to the emotional turmoil raging inside me.

Pressing the heels of my palms against my eyes, images from last night flood my mind – Lily’s concerned face as she found me at the rink, the way her eyes softened as I spilled my guts, the feel of her lips against mine…

The entire bottle we’d downed.

Or, mostly me, if I’m being honest.

I throw off the covers and stumble to my feet. What the hell had I been thinking? I’d spent years building walls that kept everyone at arm’s length. And in one whiskey-soaked night, I’d blown it all up and told her most of what I’d been trying to hide.

I pace the length of my hotel room, running my hands through my hair. My thoughts race, a jumbled mess of regret, fear, and something else I don’t want to name. What if Lily uses what I’d told her? What if she digs deeper into Sarah’s accident?

What if she finds out about the cover-up?

I know the answer to that well enough. Everything I’d worked so hard to protect – everything others had sacrificed for me – would come crashing down around me. But even as panic claws at my throat, another part of me feels… lighter. For the first time, I’d shared some of the weight I’d been carrying.

And… she’d listened. She hadn’t judged. She’d just been there.

"No," I mutter, shaking my head. "Don’t go there."

I can’t afford to think like that. Lily isn’t a therapist. She’s a journalist. Her job is to uncover secrets, to tell stories. My story. And I can’t let that happen. But try as I might, I’m unable to banish the memory of her touch.

The softness of her skin…

The curves of her body pressed against mine…

The little gasp she’d made when I’d kissed her neck…

"Jesus Christ," I hiss, a bulge forming in my boxers in response to the memory. This is the last thing I need.

I grab a towel and head for the shower, cranking the water as cold as it will go. As the icy spray hits my skin, I force myself to focus. I have to get it together. I can’t let this… whatever it is with Lily… throw me off my game.

Or breach my defenses.

By the time I step out of the shower, my resolve has hardened, even though my cock has softened. I’d made a mistake last night, but I can fix it. I dress quickly, then stare at my reflection in the mirror. The man looking back at me is the Carter Knox everyone expects to see – cool, collected, untouchable.

That is who I need to be.

Taking a deep breath, I square my shoulders and head for the door. Team breakfast awaits, and with it, the chance to put last night firmly behind me. As I ride the elevator down to the hotel restaurant, I steel myself for what is to come. I’ll push Lily away, rebuild my walls stronger than ever.

I’ll be the Carter Knox everyone thinks they know–hard, focused, impenetrable.

I have no other choice. The alternative… well, that isn’t something I can afford to consider, no matter how much part of me wants to get involved with Lily. The elevator doors slide open, and I step out, my game face firmly in place. Whatever happens next, I’m ready.

Or so I hope.

LILY

My stomach churns with a mix of anticipation and dread as I push open the doors to the hotel restaurant. The team is already gathered, their voices a low rumble punctuated by the clink of cutlery against plates. My eyes immediately seek Carter, finding him at a table in the far corner.

Alone.

As I make my way to the buffet, I try to catch his eye, but Carter keeps his gaze firmly fixed on his plate. The set of his jaw is tight, his shoulders rigid beneath his team-issued polo shirt. Gone is the man who’d opened up to me last night, replaced by the stone-faced Carter Knox I’d first met.

I grab a yogurt and some fruit, barely tasting it as I chew. My mind keeps replaying snippets of our conversation from the night before, the raw emotion in Carter’s voice as he’d mentioned the pressure he was under. And then there was the kiss. My cheeks flush at the memory.

"You okay there, sweetheart?" Tank’s voice startles me out of my thoughts. "You’re looking a little flustered."

I force a smile. "Warm in here," I lie, tugging at the collar of my blouse. "Like your chances in the game back home tomorrow?"

As Tank launches into a detailed answer, I find my gaze drifting back to Carter. A rookie has joined his table, and he’s listening, nodding along with a neutral expression. But there’s something different about him today, a new tension in the set of his shoulders that hadn’t been there before.

I realize with a pang that last night’s vulnerability has been completely buried. In its place is an even harder shell, as if Carter is overcompensating for the moment of weakness he’d shown, keeping everyone else even further away from his core than usual.

"Earth to Lily," Tank’s voice breaks through my thoughts again. "You sure you’re okay? You seem distracted."

I blink, forcing myself to focus on Tank. "Sorry, just thinking about my next story. You know how it is."

Tank nods, but his eyes narrow slightly. "Right. Well, if you need any more pearls of wisdom, you know where to find me."

As he walks away, I can’t shake the feeling of disappointment settling in my chest. I’d thought I’d made a breakthrough with Carter. But now, watching him interact with teammates as if nothing had happened, I realize how fleeting that moment had been, and now it’s buried deep.

I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever get another chance to see that side of him again.

I stab at my fruit with more force than necessary, frustration bubbling up inside me. This is exactly what I’d been afraid of – that Carter would retreat even further into himself after opening up. So, not only have I compromised my professional integrity, but I’m also further away from understanding him.

And I still don’t have anything to write about.

As I lift my gaze once more, I find Carter looking directly at me. For a split second, I see a flicker of something in his eyes. But before I can decipher it or respond in any way, his expression hardens, and he turns away.

Dismissing me.