Exposed (Let Me Love You #3)

Chapter 5

5

SURPRISE

MATT

P epper’s stomach growls, and who knows the last time she had hot, homemade food. “Sit and eat, Pepper,” I direct.

Her name isn’t Lucy, that’s for damn sure. I refuse to call her that.

Her green contacts are back in, and eyes dart back and forth from the table, the food and me. She’s skittish, like a baby deer.

“You can talk to me,” I urge.

“No one’s ever cooked for me,” she whispers.

“Really? This is hardly cooking. The bacon is kind of burnt.”

Something as simple as making scrambled eggs for her brought her to tears. It’s such a small thing to do for someone, and I have a sudden desire to spoil her.

She opens her mouth to speak, but a timer starts beeping outside. Then, a baby starts wailing.

Weird.

Unless my neighbors just adopted, they don’t have babies.

“Is that coming from your front door?” Pepper asks.

“Yep.” I pop up from the table, then point a finger at her. “We’re not done here. I want to know what’s going on, so I can help you,” I say with a stern voice.

She bites her lip and blushes. Did I just scare her or turn her on? Hmm. I’m probably reading into her expression.

The baby’s cries ratchet up to DEFCON level. Why is there a crying baby at my front door?

“You babysitting today?” Pepper asks, trailing behind me as I make my way through my kitchen and living room to the front door.

“Nope. I don’t babysit.”

When I open the door, my heart stops beating for a second. My jaw drops at the sight of a baby wrapped in a blue blanket in a car seat. A cheap kitchen timer along with a blue diaper bag sit on my front doorstep next to the car seat. With all the blue, I’m guessing he’s a boy.

“Looks like you’re babysitting,” Pepper remarks.

“I have no idea what’s going on.” Without thinking, my protective instincts kick in. I unbuckle the wailing baby from his car seat and scoop him up, and a white envelope tucked into the blanket falls to the ground. Grabbing the envelope, I stuff it into my shorts pocket, then look both ways down the street. All of the cars are ones I recognize, and nothing looks out of place.

“You’re okay, baby,” I soothe. “Shhh.”

The baby is so tiny, I’m afraid I may break him. He leans into me and snuggles against my bare chest. He’s freaking cute, the cutest baby I’ve ever seen. His little button nose and round face are perfectly formed. His face is red with how much he’s screaming. His big blue eyes lock with mine, and he looks scared. Two hands reach up for my face.

“It’s okay, bud. I’ve got you,” I soothe as I motion with one arm for Pepper to come inside. He’s so tiny, I’ve got him cradled in one arm. I grab the car seat and set it inside, while Pepper brings the diaper bag behind me.

“Is this a prank?” I ask as I lock the front door. “Is he a newborn? He’s crazy small.”

“Sounds like a newborn cry,” Pepper surmises.

Shani bounds over to us.

“Easy, girl. I’ve got a baby. See?” I tilt the little guy so Shani can see him, and Shani tilts her head and whimpers.

“I’ve got no idea what’s going on either, Shan.” I’m so worked up, I’m shaking. “Whoever left the baby wanted to flee the scene before the timer went off.”

“You think that’s why the timer was set?” She asks with wide eyes.

“Yeah. What other reason would it be there except that the person wanted to get away with zero chances of me seeing them?” I answer, rocking the baby back and forth. The pacifier drops from his mouth, and I squat to pick it up.

“Here. I’ll wash it off,” Pepper holds her palm out, then hurries to the kitchen sink.

The envelope is burning a hole in my pocket .

“Okay, bud.” I take a deep breath. “Let’s see what your mom and dad want.”

I sit down so I can cradle the baby and read what’s inside the envelope. A note in girly handwriting is folded inside.

Please don’t hate me.

I don’t like the sound of this, but maybe it gets better.

My parents would kill me if they knew I got pregnant out of wedlock. When you and I hooked up, I told you I was twenty, but I was really 18. I’m sorry I lied, but I can’t be a mom. I’m a freshman in college and never planned on any of this, but I had to give our baby life.

Since it was winter, I hid my pregnancy with baggy clothes and coats. I isolated myself the last couple of months and told my parents I had the flu really bad when I went to the hospital to have the baby. Other than my roommate, no one knows. Hiding him isn’t an option anymore, so I’m bringing him to you.

The birth certificate has you as the father. I wasn’t with anyone else at the time, so he’s definitely your son. His name on the birth certificate is Baby Galloway, because I want you to name him. I need time. Right now, I don’t want you to know who I am. I’ll contact you in the future with the hospital name where he was born so you can access the birth certificate and legally change his name.

I was on birth control, just like I promised you. I don’t know what happened.

Please love him and give him the life I can’t. I took him to a pediatrician for his two week check up. The doctor said to keep feeding him so he gains weight. He’s 4 weeks old today. I left a can of formula that the doctor said is the best for him.

Thank you, Matt. You treated me that night like I was special. You’ll be the best dad.

Sincerely,

Your one-night stand

That did not get better.

“What the fuck?” I whisper so I don’t scare the baby snuggling into my chest.

“Wow,” Pepper agrees. I didn’t realize it, but she sat down next to me and read over my shoulder while I was reading.

“Nosy much?” I ask.

“I am, yes. You sure know how to pick girls to sleep with. First, a teenager who leaves you a baby, then a homeless girl who’s got a dumpster fire for a life. Gold star for you,” she wise-cracks.

“She told me she was twenty.”

“You’re gullible,” she notes.

“She looked older than you,” I fire back.

“All I’m hearing is that you like younger girls.”

“I’m a dad,” I say in complete shock.

“Daddy Matt.”

“Pepper,” I groan, snapping out of my shocked state.

“Own it, dude. You like younger girls.”

“You’re impossible,” I grumble, then focus on the baby. My baby.

Looking down at this little person who’s half me, tears fill my eyes. This is not how I imagined becoming a father. Thinking back to the last one night stand I had about ten months ago, the timing is accurate.

“Looks like I’m your dad, little guy,” I tell him. Damn, I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone. “Can the mom leave him with me like this?”

“You’re the dad. Why can’t she?”

I shake my head in disbelief. “Shit like this doesn’t happen in real life.”

“That’s been my motto for the last few months,” Pepper nods. “I really need to leave now. There’s no way I can stay here.”

“You don’t like babies?” I ask.

“It’s not that. I don’t want to bring danger to your doorstep, especially when you’ve got this little guy.”

“You want to unpack that with me, go ahead. If not, tell me how much you know about babies.”

“I was a nanny and babysat kids all through college.”

“You know more about babies than me,” I mutter. “I’ve never taken care of a kid before.”

“The youngest I babysat for was a six month old. You need to find a pediatrician. They need vaccines at two months old.”

“Sounds good. I’ll add that to the list of a thousand things I need to do for my son.” At the baby’s mention, he cries and wiggles around in my arm. “You’re okay, little man.”

I stand and grab the diaper bag.

“How do you know you’re really his dad?” She asks as I unzip the bag one-handed.

“About ten months ago, I went to a photographer’s convention in Orlando.” I pull out a small package of diapers, wipes, a bottle, a pacifier and a can of formula.

“One of the convention days was the anniversary of a hard day for me. I was in a bad place mentally, and I slept with a girl that night and a different one the next night. Don’t remember either of their names.”

“How does this girl know your name then?”

“We had our convention name tags on,” I answer.

“Apparently, you left quite the impression on your baby mama.”

“That night was the one and only time I talked with her. I didn’t socialize with or get the phone number of either woman.”

“Well, you made her feel special enough that she trusts you with her child over her parents or herself.”

“If I sleep with a girl, I make her feel good,” I shrug. “That’s not the point. I now have a baby without a clue of how to take care of one.”

She glances at my clock. “Shoot. I need to leave for work.”

Panic rises in my chest. “You’re leaving me with him?”

“He’s your son. You’ll be fine.”

“Can you call in sick?” I ask.

“Nope.” She hauls her backpack on her slim shoulders.

Being left alone with a newborn sounds completely overwhelming, and my next thought is that Pepper shouldn’t drive in her death trap of a car. “Let me drive you. Save your gas money. I’m sure it’s too far for you to walk.”

“You’re right, it’s too far to walk. I’ll drive, but you stay here. I don’t have time for us to figure out how to install the car seat. Plus, he’s probably hungry. Read the formula instructions. Boil water and mix it with the formula. Then, let it cool a few minutes so it’s not hot.”

“Right,” I nod. I don’t like this flying by the seat of my pants business. I like knowing what I’m doing and being the one in charge. I’m a quick learner, though. I’ve got this.

As I walk towards the kitchen with the formula in one hand and my son in my other arm, I watch Pepper open the front door with her keys in hand.

“Pepper.” I’m afraid she won’t come back.

“Yeah?”

“Come back after work.”

She looks at me, and her jaw tightens.

“Please, Pepper. Come back. You know you want to.” And because I’m not above begging, I lift up my son.

“Please, come back to see me,” I mimick in a baby voice.

A smile lights up her beautiful face. It’s the first time I’ve seen her truly smile, and it steals the breath from my lungs. “Okay. Fine. For the baby, not for you. Babies like skin-to-skin time. Let him lay on your chest as much as you can. It’ll help you guys bond.”

“How do you know all this shit?” I ask.

“Movies. Books. Babysitting. I read a lot.” Then, she’s gone, and I stride over to lock the door behind her. Her rattle trap noisily backs out of the driveway. I make a mental note to do something about her car. Her breaking down on the road would be dangerous.

“Okay, buddy. Let’s get you fed.” He looks up at me, his sweet eyes working to focus on mine. “I’m your dad. I’ll take care of you, okay?”

One-handed, I boil water, then mix in the formula and pour it in his bottle when a foul odor reaches my nose.

“Little dude, that was you wasn’t it? You’re going to have to wait for that bottle until I clean you up.” He starts crying. I’d feel like crap if that shit was stuck to my butt too.

“I’ll get you cleaned up super fast.” I grab the diaper and wipes.

The list of what I need is endless. Diapers. Formula. Wipes. A crib. Baby clothes. Toys.

Am I really doing this? Half of me wants to find his mom and give him back, because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

The other half knows that she isn’t coming back. I’m all my son has, and I’m going to do the best I can for him.

“Okay, little man.” I toggle back and forth in my living room, deciding on where to change his diaper. I grab a bathroom towel to lay him on. “We’re going to rough it on the carpet.”

I lay him down, then undo the diaper, paying attention to how it’s fixed together with the little tabs on the side.

Shani whimpers while the baby cries. “It’s okay, Shani. I think he’s just mad about his dirty diaper. He’s hangry. We’re alright.”

I open his diaper, and my suspicions were correct. “Yep. You’re a boy.”

He kicks and screams while I wipe him down. This is so much messier than using the toilet. Poop gets on me and the towel. Changing a baby’s diaper is harder than it looks.

I’ve broken a sweat by the time I’m fastening the diaper tabs snug on him. “You’re a strong little dude.” I grin. “You definitely must be mine. Pound it.” I pretend to give him a fist pound. “Lay here while I wash my hands,” I tell him, nervous about leaving him on the floor.

“Watch him, Shani,” I instruct, and my dog actually cocks her head and watches the baby like she’s the nanny in Peter Pan .

I quickly throw away the diaper, wash my hands and grab the bottle before picking up my son.

“Good job, Shan.” I ruffle her behind her ears.

“We need to get you potty trained, STAT. That was nasty,” I sigh. “Here’s your bottle.” I shake it a few times to let him see it. He’s not a dog, Matt.

His little eyes lock on the bottle. Well, maybe he is a little like a puppy.

Shani jumps onto the couch and lays next to me.

“Hungry, little guy?” Tipping the bottle up, he opens his mouth and sucks. Then, he immediately starts choking.

“Shit,” I toss the bottle on a couch cushion and prop him against my chest to pat his back.

“I’m sorry,” I say as he coughs, spitting up on my shoulder and chest. I hold him back a little so I can look in his face. “What did I do wrong?” He sputters as formula dribbles out of his pink lips.

“Was it too much? Too fast? Help me out here.”

I try again, this time with him leaning on me so he’s sitting up more. “You want to sit up, don’t you? I’d choke if I laid down and tried to eat.”

I take it slower this time. Letting a little formula into the nipple for him to suck before tilting the bottle so none comes out. After he’s swallowed, I allow more to drop down into the nipple. Pride surges through my chest as I feed my son.

“There we go. We got it, little buddy.” It’s second nature to talk to him. I’ve been a father for fourweeks now, and I didn’t even know it. I need to make up for lost time.

“You need a name. I’ll think about it, okay? I’ll give you one today.”

Naming my son feels important. He’ll have this name his whole life. Maybe. If I can figure out who the mom is, get his birth certificate and change his name so it’s not Baby.

“I’ll get your name changed. I refuse to let any son of mine be named Baby.”

After what feels like forever, he’s downed most of his bottle. “What a champ,” I praise him as I set the bottle on my end table. “Burp time.” I pat his back while he’s up against my chest, and he spits up on me again.

“I need a towel,” I mutter as spit up drips over my shoulder and down my back.

“How's that feel?” I pull him back so we can look at each other. He really is adorable. His eyes and lips are relaxed, like he’s full and happy.

My mom and dad will want to know. My mom could probably help me. I consider calling her, but decide against it. I can do this. He’s a tiny baby. How hard can it be?