Exposed (Let Me Love You #3)

Chapter 22

22

SEXUAL COUNSELING

MATT

A t five years old, Pepper felt the burden to take care of her older sister. That’s a huge responsibility.

She tangles her fingers in the hem of my shirt she’s wearing.

How is this girl so sweet one minute and bratty the next? She’s the perfect combination of everything I want. I’m obsessed with her.

“What happened?” I ask with sincerity, praying Simon stays asleep a little longer and hoping Pepper will open up more. I bet she’ll feel better if she talks to me.

“My parents found us at the county hospital where they take patients without insurance. When my parents came, there was a Child Protective Services worker who questioned them. My mom and dad answered everything perfectly, making a huge production out of how much they loved us. They lied and said they had to work late that day, and at eleven years old, my sister was old enough to take care of us. The CPS worker interviewed my sister and I individually, but we were both too scared to do anything but corroborate with our parents. When we got home that night, my dad slapped me.”

“He slapped you?” I interrupt her. I don't mean to, but I can’t help but feel protective of her. An image of little Pepper getting hit by her dad tears a hole in my heart and stokes my anger like a roaring fire.

“He didn’t do it that much. They locked me in my room that night. They didn’t do that very often either.”

She says it like it’s no big deal, but I’m floored. Still, I try to keep my voice gentle so she’ll keep going. “You know that’s not normal, right?”

“Now, yes. Then, I didn’t. My parents always made it clear they didn’t like me, but after that, my dad said he was done. He packed a bag and left the next morning. Haven’t seen him since.”

She looks down, and I squeeze her hand reassuringly.

“I wasn’t trying to cause trouble. In my five-year-old mind, I was just helping my sister. My sister and my mom both blamed me for my dad leaving. My mom said I should’ve never been born. After my dad left, my mom, my sister and I moved into a homeless shelter. Once my mom found a boyfriend, she moved us in with him. She didn’t want to get in trouble with CPS, so she made sure my sister and I went to school. And I liked school. I loved being there much more than being at home. My mom and her boyfriend were gone a lot doing God knows what, but he always had cereal in his cabinets and hot dogs in his fridge. My mom told me I was lucky she brought me into this world, and I could figure out life by myself just like she had when she was younger.”

“Does that mean you didn’t have grandparents?” I ask. She literally has no family to care about her.

“No. Never met them. My sister got a boyfriend at 13 and started hanging out with him non-stop. I was on my own a lot from the time I was seven years old. I stayed in my room and out of my mom and her boyfriend’s way. Once I was old enough, I walked to the library and stayed there until they closed, then walked home. I read every single book they had and did my homework. When I turned 14, I got a job at the local grocery store and worked as many shifts as possible so I wouldn’t be at home. Saved up so I could move out the day I turned 18.”

“Did you?”

“My mom found my money under my mattress and stole it. She said I owed it to her since she let me live with her and her boyfriend.”

Fuck, that’s despicable. Pepper takes a sharp breath, then freaks out.

“Why did I tell you all of that?” She slaps her mouth shut with her hand. “Shit. Am I on an orgasm high? I’m sorry. I was making all of that up.”

She’s letting emotions out that she’s likely stuffed down for years.

“Pepper,” I take her hand, but she pulls away.

“I’m sorry, Matt,” she says while more tears fall from her beautiful face.

“Why are you sorry? You’re a strong, smart woman who has done the majority of her life on her own.” I rest my hand on her hip, and she doesn’t push me away this time.

“You’re right, I am strong and smart. I worked my ass off to get a full-ride scholarship to college. That’s how I got my degree and the internship with Titan Securities.” She’s crying, but not hysterical.

“Have you ever told anyone about your childhood?” I ask.

“No. Why would I? I can’t believe I told you. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me.” She jumps out of bed and starts pacing.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Having a meltdown, obviously,” she shrieks, throwing her hands out to her sides. “You’re a guy I actually care about. I care what you think, and I shared too much. Can you forget I told you?”

Not a chance.

“No. It doesn’t change what I think about you. It reaffirms that you’re a phenomenal woman. I’ve gotta say, I like that you care about me,” I grin.

“You’re my roommate, so I care about you,” she dismisses. “Was there truth serum in that water you brought me?”

She’s downplaying our roommate arrangement. She feels more than that for me. At least, I hope she does.

“You didn’t drink any of that water yet,” I point out. “Which, by the way, you need to.” I point to the untouched glass of water I brought for her.

“Don’t get technical with me,” she points a finger at me, and I fight a smile. “How did I share all of that with you while crying and somehow, you’ve got me wanting to smile? Why do I feel lighter?” She picks up the glass and takes a drink.

“Good girl. Getting shit off your chest makes you feel lighter. Maybe you feel comfortable with me,” I venture.

“No, that can’t be it,” she quips.

“Of course, not,” I chuckle.

“It isn’t,” she insists.

“It’s probably a mix of your hormones from your period, the orgasms you just had and how you were adventurous in bed with me. You’re coming down from the high. It’s called a ‘drop.’”

“Let’s go with that. This won’t happen again. I promise.”

“It may happen again, and that’s okay. I’ll be here for you when it does. I’d like for you to be open with me again. I feel like we had a breakthrough tonight, Pep. Maybe sex is like counseling for you, and I’m happy to counsel you whenever you need it,” I waggle my eyebrows and she gives me a small smile. “Honestly, I like getting to know you. Thanks for telling me about your childhood. Helps me understand why you felt weird about my parents.”

“Yeah. I’m not the only kid who had a shitty home life growing up. You do what you have to do, and you get out, you know? There was a girl in my class for a little while who was a foster kid. She had it worse than me. I was glad CPS never took me away. The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t, I guess. I was scared that whoever I’d end up with would be worse.”

“That makes sense. Get in bed, Pepper. Let me hold you before Simon wakes up.” I pat the bed beside me.

She climbs under the covers and lays on her back, and I put my arm over her waist. I take a deep breath, then speak. “Lots of kids struggle growing up. I’m lucky to have great parents, but no kid should hear the things your family told you. Everything they told you is bullshit. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s hard when you hear it for years,” she murmurs and kisses me on my stubbled cheek. “Thank you, Matt, for being a good dad to Simon. He’ll always be safe with you.”

“Thank you, Pepper,” I whisper and kiss her forehead. “And I love that you’re a dreamer. The world belongs to dreamers.”

“You think so?” She asks.

“Absolutely. How else would we have electricity, airplanes, cars or Disney World?”

“Hmm, I never thought of it that way,” she grins.

“The world belongs to people who have the courage to dream up things that don’t yet exist. Dreamers think outside the box so our world can evolve and become a better place,” I say.

“Yeah. I like that.”

What this girl has been through is more than anyone should have to endure, and I vow to be the one to show her how infinite her worth is.