Fake Game (The System #3)

Chapter Fifty-One

FIFTY-ONE

DEER

“ A re you ready, ma’am?”

No.

In fact, I think this might be a horrible idea—one of the worst I’ve ever had.

“Yes.”

The guard opens the door at my confirmation, and I take one step into the concrete room. My eyes scan each of the cubicles until they land on a young man.

Yup, this is definitely a shite idea.

I take steadying breaths as my platform heels carry me across the room to where he is sitting. My focus is just on the silver chair, my goal: getting to it without panicking.

In and out.

In and out.

I tuck my dress beneath me as I take a seat, but it doesn’t stop the cold metal from biting into my thighs through the thin fabric. With a hand that shakes slightly, I pick up the phone attached to the partition. Once the plastic hits my ear, I steel myself and turn my gaze forward.

“Hi, Rick.”

“Deer.” His gaze slides over me like slime oozing down my skin.

I’m struck by how different he looks.

When I’d first hired Rick as my moderator, he was a shy, skinny guy with a mop of brown hair and gentle eyes. He’d been subbed to my channel from the very beginning, always commenting positively and encouraging me. When I started live streaming, he was there in the chat bolstering me along as I played my first run-through of Cherry Farm: Beginnings and sending me virtual gifts . I still remember the day he emailed me asking if I needed someone to moderate my comments—it was right after I’d worn this cute sailor corset and some person in the chat kept writing lewd remarks throughout the stream until I’d paused to remove them. It had seemed like such a no-brainer to accept Rick’s help. He wasn’t asking for payment or anything; he just genuinely wanted to help me succeed and prevent any trolls from derailing that.

His background check had come up clean—just a comp sci student with some spare time on his hands as he was job hunting.

As the weeks went on, he started doing more and more outside of the streams. Offering to help moderate my comments and DMs on social media, manage my emails, and even set up a P.O. box for me where he would vet the mail to make sure it was safe for me to open. So, I had him become a pseudo-assistant. He knew privacy was the most important thing to me, and he made my life less stressful by ensuring I was always safe. It helped decrease my anxiety significantly, and I’d been so grateful for that.

I just never noticed how he was using all of that against me—taking that weakness and exploiting it until he became so woven into my life, I couldn’t see the translucent webs he was spinning around me.

At some point, he turned into the man before me—pale skin, hollow eyes, and black buzzed hair.

“I knew you’d come for me.” He grins like he just won a prize. “You even dressed up.”

“Actually, I’m headed to the Streamzies after this.”

It’s going to be the first gaming event that I’ve attended since the convention months ago. I’d made a slight detour to come here today, without telling anyone, and depending on how this went…

I shake myself, halting the potential spiraling of my thoughts.

Rick’s face immediately sours. “You can’t. It’s not safe.”

“So long as you’re behind that glass, I’ll be fine.”

“They’re lying to you. You need me. You’ve always needed me.”

My free hand fists my dress, bunching the material as tight as possible.

“No, I don’t.”

“Don’t play games, Deer. I’m your protector.”

He manipulated me, day by day.

He’d smashed me like a vase, making it so only he could pick up the pieces.

But I can see through the smoke now. The forest view is clearing, and I can easily find the hole he dug in the ground, hoping that I would fall in while blinded, running from the fire that he kept stoking.

I just need to hear it from him. I can’t move on until that last puzzle piece slots in. I’ve tried—tried to heal without speaking to him. But the nightmares are still gripping me with their talons, they’re still ripping screams from my throat and coating my sheets in sweat.

So, here I am, facing my demon.

“You were supposed to protect me. I was supposed to trust you, but you broke me. You harassed me online, had me swatted, roofied.”

He scoffs. “Because you were slipping away.”

“What?”

“You were mine until you met them.”

“Them?”

“The System,” he spits out. “They took you out to clubs, and parties, and conventions—they were endangering you. You broke your routine for them. And the more you hung out with them, the further you got from me. I’ve been with you from the start, Deer. I’m the one who looks out for you. And you were throwing that away for these flashy guys. It’s your own fault. I had to save you from yourself and remind you it isn’t safe out there.” He raises a hand to the glass. “You know you’re only safe with me.”

Had I created this monster?

Was it my fault?

That sick anxiety swirls in my chest, spinning guilt and fear together. He isn’t wrong. Before Lee introduced me to the guys, I was a homebody. My life was game, stream, sleep, repeat—with the occasional shopping spree and anime binge-watching thrown in here and there. Meeting The System changed everything. I started to live life again. And then as Jackson and I started to become closer and closer…

Am I to blame for pushing Rick to the side? For making him hit a breaking point?

No.

No, this is all him, all his own twisted perception. I’m not going to let myself get warped by his words again. I’m not so fragile anymore that his manipulation can shape me as he pleases. I’ve become stronger. I’ve worked so damn hard on myself these last few months to heal my wounds, and I won’t let him reopen those scars—he doesn’t have that control any longer.

“I’m sorry that things turned out the way they did.” I raise my hand to his on the glass. “But I’m going to continue living my life. I’m not hiding in the shadows from monsters.”

“You think you’ll be safe out there? You’ll learn. You’ll learn just how wrong you are, how the world will eat you alive. There’s no one to save you.”

“I don’t need someone to save me. I saved myself.”

I hang the phone up and watch as an ugly fury swirls in his eyes. He shouts at me as I get up on trembling legs and turn away, leaving him behind.