Faking the Play (Hot Mess Harems #2)

23. Ryan

Chapter twenty-three

Ryan

“ F uck! I’m never going to get this!” I shoved my laptop away from me and stood up. I paced back and forth across the living room, fists opening and closing as I resisted the urge to punch a hole in something. “I’m just stupid. I never should’ve thought I could do this.”

“You’re not stupid!” Amelia snapped at me, getting to her feet and deliberately stepping in my path. “Don’t say that about yourself. I didn’t put up with it when we were kids and I’m sure as hell not going to put up with it now.”

I stopped a few inches from her, surprised that she held her ground without blinking. I was glad she wasn’t scared of me, but I wouldn’t blame her if she was. When I got pissed, I scared the shit out of pretty much everyone.

“Oh, yeah, I’m a real Einstein.” Sarcasm filled my words. “All I needed was a pep talk.”

She poked my chest hard enough to surprise me. It didn’t hurt me, but she winced. I suddenly wanted to take her hand and kiss each of her fingers until she forgot which one hurt.

“You don’t need a pep talk,” she argued. “There are plenty of scantily dressed cheerleaders who’d be all too willing to help lift your spirits.”

The jealousy that flashed across her eyes made my stomach flip and I had to force myself to pay attention to what she was saying.

“You need a kick in the ass.” She put her hands on her hips and glared up at me. “You may be bigger than me, but I remember everything you guys taught me about how to fight someone twice my size.”

I raised an eyebrow and managed not to laugh. “Really?”

She nodded. “If it’s a guy, kick or knee him in the nuts, and then when he bends over, grab his hair and slam his face into my knee.”

“Good memory,” I said. “I hope you like my nuts well enough that you wouldn’t want to damage them.”

She flushed, looking away from me. “Leave it to you to turn a threat into an innuendo. Not that the other guys would’ve been any better.”

“So now that you’ve yelled at me, do you feel better?” I asked.

“That depends.” She still didn’t look at me. “Are you done with your little temper tantrum so we can get back to work?”

“It’s not a tantrum if it’s true,” I said, crossing my arms. “You helped me enough when we were kids that you know I can’t do this.”

That got her head jerking up, eyes flashing. “I did help you back then. And what did I tell you about can’t ?”

I laughed. “I think it had something to do with washing my mouth out with soap.”

“I don’t care that you’re some sort of football god, I’ll still do it,” she threatened.

I held up my hands in surrender. “All right, all right. You win. No more saying the c-word.” And then, because I couldn’t help it, I winked at her. “That c-word anyway. No promises about the other one.”

She flushed and got that look on her face again, like my teasing bothered her now when it never had before.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

“What?” She shook her head. “No, of course not.”

“I won’t say shit like that if it bugs you.” At her confused look, I explained what I meant. “The innuendos, dirty jokes, that kinda thing. You looked like it bugged you. If it does, I’ll stop.”

She smiled, but it looked a little forced to me. “No, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t want you guys to feel like you have to change anything about yourself for me. I wouldn’t do that to you guys.” She turned suddenly. “I’m going to get something to drink. Do you want something?”

“No, thanks, I’m good.”

I watched her as she went into the kitchen, my brain working—not on the essay I needed to read and write about, but on what could be wrong with Amelia. I knew she said she was okay, but I didn’t believe it. And if she had a problem, I wanted to be able to fix it.

“Ready to get back to work?” she asked as she came back with a cup of coffee.

“Needed the caffeine?” I motioned to the cup.

She shrugged, looking down at her cup as she sat down. “I haven’t slept well the past couple nights.”

A suspicion popped into my head and I figured I might as well go for it. “Since the night you and Logan had sex?”

She didn’t answer, instead picking up my tablet and holding it out to me. “Ready to try again?”

I sighed and sat down next to her.

“I still can’t believe no one’s made Professor Shelby adapt his syllabus yet,” she continued. “It’s ridiculous. You aren’t the only student with dyslexia and there are plenty of other learning disabilities that could benefit from using audiobooks.”

I didn’t realize I was grinning at her until she looked at me, clearly confused.

“What?”

“I like when you get worked up over stuff like that,” I admitted. “You know, when you think something’s not fair.” I reached over and tucked some hair behind her ear. “I probably shouldn’t say it’s adorable, but it is.”

“Are you procrastinating, Ryan?” She gave me one of those teacher looks that she’d had even when we were kids.

I shook my head. “If I was doing that, I’d be doing this.” I leaned forward and brushed my lips across hers.

She didn’t pull back, but she didn’t lean into it either. When I sat back, I caught a glimpse of something crossing her eyes and she turned her head away.

That was enough for me.

I set down my tablet.

“I’m not going to be able to concentrate until I know what’s going on with you, so you might as well tell me.”

“People have been talking about us.” She twisted her fingers together on her lap, staring at them instead of looking at me. “When we were at the party the other night, after the game, I overheard a few people talking about how I was wearing your jacket but holding Logan’s hand, and how I kissed Ethan during that game and went on dates with you.”

“We probably could’ve—should’ve—been better about separating your time with us,” I admitted. “It’s just hard to be near you and not touch you or try to take care of you.”

“Aren’t you guys worried that if we do this for real, it’s going to mess up your reputations?”

Her question made me realize something I hadn’t before. Maybe the other guys had already figured it out, but it hadn’t occurred to me until just now. “That’s what’s holding you back, isn’t it? You’re worried about us?”

She finally looked at me. “Having my reputation go to shit these past couple months hasn’t been fun, but I’ll be able to get away from it. When I apply to jobs, those pictures may come up, but people are a lot more understanding when it comes to revenge porn and I won’t have a problem telling prospective employers the truth about what Jason did. But I’m not going into a career that’s going to put me in the public eye like you three.”

“Male celebrities tend to get away with a lot,” I pointed out. “I mean, look at how many actors have affairs or have these huge age gaps. And athletes do it too.”

“But it depends on what those things are,” she said. “It’s one thing for you guys to have a new girl on your arm every night, but the three of you sharing one woman? You know a lot of people are going to think you guys are sleeping together too, right? There will be reporters who are going to want to know if you and Logan have sex, or what sort of physical contact there is between you guys if all of us are together at once.”

I shrugged. “I don’t care. And neither will Logan and Ethan. This isn’t something we just came up with on the spur of the moment. We’ve talked about this kind of thing.”

“And what if what happened to me happens to you guys?” She reached out and lightly touched my hand, tension vibrating off of her. “If someone decides to take private things and reveal them to the world before you’re ready, or out of context? What if someone starts spreading rumors that I’m using you guys, making you look foolish?”

My eyes narrowed. “That’s oddly specific.”

She sighed. “Jason cornered me at the party and said he was going to tell everyone that I was some sort of gold digger and latched onto you guys because of your careers. Hell, I wouldn’t put it past him to accuse me of being an escort or probably just your average prostitute because I wouldn’t be high class enough to be an escort and—”

“Stop.” I squeezed her hand hard. “Don’t get all worked up over that asshole running his mouth.”

“He’s not just talking,” she said. “He said he’s going to text me with a list of demands and that if I don’t give him what he wants, he’s going to destroy me and all three of you.”

I was quiet for a moment, gathering my thoughts, and she let me be. The fact that she knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t freaking out, just thinking, only solidified for me how much I wanted her.

“Do you want to try to have a relationship with the three of us? A poly relationship?” I asked. “Because if you don’t, that’s okay. We’ll still stand by you and we’ll stop Jason’s blackmail.”

“But if I do?” She whispered the question.

A flare of hope lit me up. “Then let’s give it a shot. Let’s see if it can work for us. And we’ll take care of that bastard then too. No way is he going to get away with blackmailing us.”

For the space of a couple heartbeats, she said nothing, but then she smiled and it was like watching the sun break through storm clouds.

“Yes,” she said. “I want to try.”