Fallen Embers (Fallen Guardians #9)

Chapter 24

Chapter

Twenty-Four

Christ, Nia shut her burning eyes. When Lore appeared like an avenging angel and rescued her, hope had risen from the ashes like a phoenix, bright and blazing. Now, those sparks flickered and died.

Everything was true. And hearing it from him, even if he hadn’t acted on it, was like a stabbing wound in her chest.

Her spine straight, she faced him. “That day I was on the mountaintop, and I fell. Was that why you took so long to save me?”

Lore remained silent, but his striking eyes darkened with remorse.

Her throat hurt, raw with anguish and disillusion. “I’m so fucking stupid.”

“You are not,” he bit out, tone fierce. “I was under orders. When compelled by the Supreme Seraph, they’re almost unbreakable. While we do not have the freedom of defiance, for those like me, our names have sway. It’s why I asked you to call my full name when you needed me. When you finally did, the bind on me slipped away.”

“Why did you bother saving me?” she asked bitterly. “I was nothing but a curiosity for you?—”

“Don’t!” His eyes flared silver. “What happened between us was never mere curiosity but a force I could not resist despite my greatest efforts to do so. You caught my attention, and I could not let go. I did not want to let go. But you have to understand, I am still tethered to the Celestial Realm and cannot break away without falling from grace.”

And he wasn’t going to do that, was he?

Because she wasn’t enough.

Her chest cramped, agony swamping her, far too immense to move past.

Her sight blurred. She swiped her watery eyes with her fist, her gaze settling on the new twin puncture scars between her thumb and forefinger. A shudder rushed through her, recalling the snakes slithering over her. She shut out the thought, unable to handle the horror that would have her curling up in a ball and losing her mind to madness?—

Something else struck her like a punch to her belly. “The day you returned to the abbey from your realm, and I accidentally stabbed you. You were going to kill me, weren’t you?”

She remembered how cold he’d been, like a stranger.

A terse nod. “That was my order.”

She could barely swallow past the lump in her throat. “I see.”

“No, you don’t.” His eyes darkened. “When the time came, I had to provoke you so you would strike hard. They were watching; they always do when they suspect a subject is compromised. I could never hurt you.”

She wiped her damp face with her sleeve. “But you did… W-what you said in the abbey ripped me apart.”

“I know.” His face paled, and he shut his eyes briefly. “It was the truth bent, Nia. Words that implied. I had to protect you in any way I could.”

She gulped a shuddering breath. With the terror of her near death and the deep sense of betrayal still consuming her, she needed time to process. Her teeth clacked, and she shivered. “I can’t do this. P-Please, let’s just go. I’m c-cold.”

He gently cupped her cheek, startling her, and warmth seeped through her, along with a wave of longing. She yearned to lean into him, but there was just too much between them.

“Don’t.” She pulled back.

His jaw hardened. “We must talk.”

Nia shook her head. Every time they spoke, she was the one left hurting. She shut her eyes and tried to summon her ability to teleport, praying she could do it this time. Her body shimmered?—

“No!” He grasped her arms, and her eyes snapped open. “We’re in the Himalayas. It’s too far for you to take a chance.”

“Then y-your job would be done, wouldn’t it?”

“Stop,” he rasped, the pain in his eyes splintering her brittle shields. “Do not say that.”

Nia fixed her attention on the tranquil river. She didn’t want to be pulled back into whatever else he wanted from her. Her foolish heart could never deny him.

“Fine. Take me to this Michael. I suppose I’d have to trust him since he sent you to watch over me…” She laughed, the sound harsh, bitter. “He sent a serpent into the hen house?—”

“That is not true, not the way you mean. I know I hurt you…”

She pivoted. “You did?—”

“Heavens, I know I did!” With a growl, he dragged her to him, his arm banding around her waist. His mouth came down on hers in a frustrated kiss, but then it gentled fast, and he kissed her as if he hungered for her. And all those repressed feelings within her broke free.

With a moan, she responded, seeking more of his mouth, wishing this were real. But it was one last kiss from the angel sent to kill her?—

Her desire plummeted. She broke the kiss and stepped back.

He dropped his hands, his eyes losing their luminous metallic hue. “Is this what you want?”

While she still had to work past his supposed betrayal, her longing for him didn’t dim. But the most important part?

What I want, you can never give me.

She asked anyway, “Are you saying you want me?”

“Did I not prove this to you?”

“And?”

“Nia…” He shut his eyes and rubbed his chest, something she’d never seen him do. “I-I…”

His hesitation said it all.

She fought not to let the tears slip free again, fought not to beg him to fight both Heaven and Hell so they could be together. “If you think I’m going to wait around for whenever you remember me and pop over for a quick fuck every year or so… No, thank you.”

And that unreadable mask slid back in place. The distance between them was so vast that Nia knew he would never cross it, not for her.

“As you wish, then. I will take you to Michael.”

They reappeared in a tranquil, snow-covered garden as twilight descended. Nia shivered as she stared up at the looming granite castle meandering to her left with its many towers and crenelated battlements covered in creeping ivy. Lights glowed in some of the windows.

The place looked like a gothic Christmas card.

“Michael lives here?” she asked, awe stealing through despite her desolation.

“When he’s around, yes.”

The reality of her situation trapped her in a suffocating hold, and she wrapped her arms around her waist. She’d never felt more alone than she did right then. She was being dumped on this Michael, another angel and a stranger.

No matter what she’d told Lore, Nia didn’t trust anything about this situation, not when her experience with these heavenly beings was turning out to be life-threatening. Lore, who’d been sent to kill her, even if he hadn’t done so, and another angel had left her to die from snake venom. So much for divinity.

Lore led the way along the snowy path. Nia followed, shoulders hunched, stepping in his footprints. They rounded the building, passing several French doors and terraces. As they neared a smaller patio with wrought-iron chairs and a table, Lore headed there.

A touch, and the door opened. He stood aside and waited for her to enter the small, warm study. She took a step and stopped. The crackling fire burned in the hearth, casting a dim glow over the wall shelves and an L-shaped desk.

His body brushed her back—a frisson shot through her—and she jerked away and tripped. He grasped her arm, reached past her, and shut the door, surrounding her with his presence and warmth, his gaze on hers. Her heart stuttered. Aware, too, she’d somehow ended up between him and the door.

She bit her trembling lip. How much more could she take?

The main door opened. But with Lore blocking her view and holding her stare captive, she couldn’t see who it was or bring herself to care.

“Oh, it’s you, sire,” a man said. “Can I help in any way?”

“It’s fine,” Lore murmured without breaking their eye contact. “Michael should be here soon.”

“Very well.” The door shut again.

His gaze skimmed her face, an urgency edging his expression. “Nia, I know you don’t want to hear anything I have to say, and I can’t blame you, but there is something I must?—”

“Oh, you want a last fling?” she taunted, and his brow lowered. Made him angry, did she? Good.

“Is that what you want?” he demanded.

Did he think she would beg him to stay? No matter her breaking heart, she’d groveled enough.

“What I want is a man who can make his own decisions. And to want me as I—never mind. Let’s just forget this. You and me? It was just a passing fancy, a momentary insanity, whatever you want to call it. I mean, you’re an angel, after all. A girl can get swept off her feet.”

She pivoted to the French doors. With shaky hands, she removed her scrunchie, recoiled her messy hair into a tight topknot, and secured it.

“I am no man,” he said, voice tight. “Nor can I behave like one. My life isn’t straightforward, Nia. There are things beyond even my control.”

There was a note in his low voice, pain?—

No, she squeezed her eyes shut. It was just the foolish longing of a heart starved for affection and love, the bane of all her dealings with him, imagining things not there.

“Yes. You made it quite clear where you stand.”

A deep exhale. “All isn’t as you think?—”

“Oh, more secrets?” She spun back to him. “Why am I not surprised?”

“You aren’t alone?—”

“No, I’m not,” she cut him off. “I might not have any family, but I have Saia and Zayn. They are all I need.”

A tic pulsed on his clenched jaw. “Is he whom you want?”

Even though he didn’t want her long-term, he still had a bee in his bonnet over Zayn. She rubbed her brow wearily. Didn’t bother to respond.

“I’ve made it clear to you, Nia. It has and always will be you.”

She wished with all her heart that it was true. But she came second, and he couldn’t see it. He had no clue about the workings of a relationship. He couldn’t have her and keep his halo, too.

Besides, always hiding just to be together would eventually destroy her, if she wasn’t killed first. “I’m not doing this.”

“Very well, Michael can explain everything since you won’t let me.” With a terse nod, he stepped back. “Wait here.”

He stalked off, the door closing behind him with a soft snap, and she shuddered. The cracks in her heart splintered wider. Not even when her parents died, and Nan became her guardian, had she felt this lost.

How could everything collapse so fast and be this devastating?

After the intensity of their lovemaking that morning, she’d awakened with so much hope. But it was just the longing and foolish daydream of the child she’d been, to be chosen first, just this once.

She dashed away a tear. And she stilled as what he’d said flickered through her hurting mind.

All isn’t as you think. You aren’t alone.

And the intensity in his tone…

Was he trying to tell her there was hope for them without actually using the words? He had mentioned he was compromised and that the other angels watched and listened.

God, she didn’t want to hope, not when she’d been down that path with him several times already, and yet if there was a whisper of a chance…

Hope , that wretched hag, had her bolting for the door, her heart in her throat.

“Lore!” She threw it open and stumbled into a spacious, softly lit, silent corridor, her gaze darting both ways.

There was no sign of him.

Dammit, she’d just have to wait for his return. She rubbed her cold palms down her jeans, her chaotic mind finally registering the elegance of the marble-floored passageway.

Wow. The place reflected hints of a time gone by with its intricately carved moldings, high, arched ceiling, and sporadically placed statues and suits of armor. Pastoral paintings inlaid the paneled walls. And waist-high pedestals with copper urns overflowed with greenery, adding nature’s verdant vibrancy to the man-made decor.

While the castle was undoubtedly luxurious, it retained a warmth that Nan’s pristine mansion sorely lacked.

Nia eyed both ways down the hushed corridor, her anxiety growing. If Michael arrived, she wouldn’t be able to talk to Lore, and he would leave?—

Footsteps sounded.

“Lore.” She pivoted. “I…” Her words died.

A tall, muscular man strode toward her, and Nia’s pulse pounded. Wheat-colored hair framed a stunningly handsome face. But the all-black he wore and his entire being exuded an air of unadulterated peril that she took a cautious step back.

He raked back the messy mane only for it to flop forward again.

“Hey.” He smiled, revealing deep masculine dimples, and the dangerous aura surrounding him faded. He looked at her as if he knew her, but she’d never met him before. She’d definitely remember meeting someone like him.

“You look a little lost,” he said, removing a pack of M she couldn’t sense any of the latter’s abrasive energy. So what was he?

“Okay, thanks. I’ll wait in the study.”

He glanced at her hand gripping the door handle, then back at her. “Michael’s little hidey-hole?” A brow rose. “ Oo-kay then. Just make up, give the Arc’s room something to remember.” He grinned, causing those slashing dimples to reappear.

What? Warmth flooded her face as his meaning sank in.

“All right, then.” He laughed. “One fugitive angel coming rrright up.” He sauntered off.

Man, he was strange, but at least he knew Lore was an angel.

Nia entered the study, shutting the door behind her. Blowing out an anxious breath, she stopped near the hearth and held out her chilly hands, trying to warm them, hoping she was right about Lore’s subtle hints.

While she’d tried to tell herself whatever was between them could only be temporary, she never expected to fall for him. Maybe he finally realized what he felt for her went beyond lust, and he wanted a chance to see where this could go?

God, she rubbed her face, her nerves knotting tighter and tighter. Unable to remain still, she hurried back to the corridor and glanced both ways again. Empty.

Damn. With a deep sigh, she put her palm on the study door?—

Arms slid around her waist, and Nia froze. “I like the new hairstyle. But how you managed it, I’m not sure.” His voice was low, husky. His lips trailed along her ear rim. “Can we talk now without you blowing up into an argument at my concern?”

“What the—?” Nia wheeled around, but the guy was gone, slammed against the wall by one furious angel.

“Don’t ever touch her!” Lore’s voice held a lethal edge she’d never heard before.

“You asshole!” The man rushed Lore with inhuman speed.

They both went crashing to the marble floor with bone-jarring force. Punches flew with supernatural speed, the meaty sounds of fists hitting flesh echoing off the marble like thunderclaps.

A cascade of prickly energy emitted from the guy—not Lore, he always had absolute control over his—and stung her skin like barbs. She leaped back, yelping.

“Lore!” she cried, rubbing her biceps, not understanding what was happening.

Suddenly, he reappeared in front of her, leaving the other guy on the floor. He dragged her back into the study, his hair a tangle of red. His top lip had split. Blood dripped down his chin then the injury healed itself.

“Are you all right?” he demanded.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. What were you thinking?” she hissed, the prickles on her skin still stinging. “We’re in someone else’s home, and you’re fighting?”

He raked back his disarrayed strands, then dashed the blood from his chin with an impatience that startled her. “You wouldn’t give me a chance to explain?—”

The inner door burst open. The man who’d attacked Lore appeared, resembling death warmed over, eyes flashing like storm clouds. Blood seeped from one eyebrow in a steady stream, then his wounds, too, started healing.

The small flickering firelight in the hearth cast a low glow over the furious, dark-haired man. He was as attractive as the blond she’d encountered earlier?—

“I should have known you had the fucking hots for her!” the guy snarled, chest heaving. “She’s mine!”

Whoa, what? Nia frowned.

“Hardly,” Lore snapped, his hands clenching.

“Lore, stop!” She grasped his arm before he plowed into the man again. His muscles tensed, and the tendons on his neck tautened like cables.

A black sword ripped free from the guy’s biceps, and he grunted. “I’m going to fucking rip you apart?—”

“No!” She darted in front of Lore.

“Don’t!” Lore roared, grabbing her arm and pushing her behind him.

“You don’t fucking yell at her!” The man’s eyes burned white with rage. He swung the blade, and it winged toward Lore’s head.

“Stop it!” Nia cried out.

But Lore had already flung his attacker back with a power blast. He hit the shelves behind him. Wood splintered and crashed down. Books fell. The guy’s hands sizzled with power. The pinpricks against her skin grew, but he didn’t strike. Nia had a feeling he didn’t because of her.

Lore bristled, resembling a caged animal about to break free and mutilate.

“Would you both stop!” Nia yelled, her heart lodged in her throat.

“Why are you protecting him?” the man snarled at her. “What the hell’s going on?”

“One furious male at a time, please,” she bit out, so over this bullshit.

The silver in Lore’s metallic green eyes blazed with fury. “Why did you let him touch you?”

“I thought it was you,” she snapped. “The blond man said he’d send you me since I was looking for you?—”

“You were looking for me?” Some of his fury faded a little. “Why?”

“Because you’re right, we do need to talk, darn it!”

“Would you explain to me what the fuck’s going on?” sword guy snarled, but his eyes glowed not only with rage—pain flickered there, too. His icy stare sliced her as if she’d betrayed him.

Nia eyed him warily.

“This is a mess,” a new voice said, the door shutting behind him. “One I had hoped to avoid.”

Despite the late hour and dim glow from the hearth, the newcomer sported shades. He was even taller than Lore and dressed like a long-suffering biker in faded black jeans, dusty boots, and a worn gray t-shirt sporting holes.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” the other man barked, his weapon gripped like he would kill someone soon.

The stranger strolled to the L-shaped desk, pushing his shades up to settle over his dark, shoulder-length hair. He stopped in front of the desk and faced them, revealing utterly eerie eyes. The sapphire-blue irises bore fissures that sparked with silver.

He was menace personified.

She shivered and stepped closer to Lore. He drew her to him, but not even his touch could calm her uneasiness.

With a wave of his hand, biker dude restored the shelves and books.

Trapped in a mess of chaos, Nia rubbed her sore temples and unfortunately met the sword guy’s furious gaze…

Then his brow furrowed.

“When did you pierce your nose and ears?” His eyes widened. “You’re not my mate!” His searing stare snapped to the biker dude. “What the fuck’s going on, Michael?”