Fallen Embers (Fallen Guardians #9)

Chapter 29

Chapter

Twenty-Nine

“What mate bond?” Nia demanded, her gaze darting between Michael and Nate, so sure she was in an alternative universe or dreaming. “I’m not mated to anyone.”

“I think you are,” Michael said. “And Lore is an angel, one not used to emotions or aware of the finer details of being soul-bonded. Besides, he would have had his shields locked down. All angels do.”

“No.” Nia shook her head, a hard knot forming in her belly. “Wouldn’t I have felt something?”

“Right…” Michael scrubbed his shadowed jaw, side-eyeing Aethan. “You want to field this one?”

“Why me?” He raised an eyebrow, his stare droll.

Echo groaned. “Ely and I will do it. Why don’t you guys go make that cocoa? We’re gonna need it.”

Nate stood there, looking like he wanted to hunt down and eviscerate Lore, but Aethan grasped his arm and pulled him indoors.

“Look, I know what a mate bond is,” Nia breathed. “My best friend’s mated to a demon. Well, not quite a demon, but she told me.”

“Okay, that’s good then.” Echo nodded. “So, you know it happens during lovemaking, right? At the point when…” Red stained her cheeks.

Ely laughed. “It happens as you climax. There’s a light that blazes between you both during intimacy as two souls join and become one. The male—otherworldly males, that is—usually carry the bonding gene, and it recognizes its soul mate.”

Nia swallowed hard. “And I thought it was because of his powers.”

“Yeah, those can seep through, too. But it won’t harm a soul mate,” Echo said, then she smiled. “My hardass tutor is now my brother-in-law?—”

“No, he’s not.” A fresh stab of pain bled through Nia. “He told me goodbye, and now he’s broken our mate bond without even warning me.” She sniffled and swiped her eyes with her sleeve.

“To be fair…” Echo sent her a concerned look. “As Michael explained, Lore wouldn’t have known. And I’m dead sure he didn’t know just how bad it would hurt you when he broke it, either.”

Faced with two sympathetic expressions, Nia straightened her spine. “Bottom line is he’s not running back here to me to explain anything, is he? Look, he doesn’t want me, not for the long term. And this…” She rubbed her hurting chest. “Made it quite clear. I’m sure your guys fought for you both.”

Echo bit her lower lip, and Ely twisted the end of her braid.

Silence fell.

Nia didn’t need further clarification.

“Now what?” she asked. “Am I supposed to stay here? I have a life in New Orleans…” She stopped. Back there, all she had were her friends and an internship.

But here, she had family.

Echo’s expression darkened. “You aren’t thinking of leaving, are you?”

“My mind’s a mess,” she whispered, turning to stare at the bobbing boat below. A shiver darted down her spine like a harbinger of doom. And she shuddered, trying to shut off the feeling. “What do I do?”

Echo put her arm around her. “You’ll stay here with us. We’re one big family. And you’ll love the other girls. Their mates are awesome, too.”

“You will be safe here, Nia.” Ely gave her an understanding smile. “Come, let’s go inside.”

Echo hooked her arms through Nia’s, and they headed back to the warm apartment.

Nate looked up from pouring steaming milk into several mugs as they entered.

“I’m gonna assume you take your cocoa like Echo does,” he said as Nia reclaimed the tall bar stool at the kitchen counter.

She nodded dully, hooking her feet around the wooden legs and resting her elbows on the marble countertop.

“Here you go.” Nate set a steaming mug in front of her. Not even the chocolatey aroma of the cocoa tempted her to pick it up and sip when the desolation within corroded her like acid. The hole, deepening and widening.

What was so wrong with her that he didn’t want her enough to fight for her? He even broke their mate bond.

Nia shut her burning eyes when something Michael said had her head snapping up. She found him by the fridge, soda in hand. He was frowning down at his boots…as if listening to something.

She jumped off her stool and crossed to him. He lifted his fissured blue stare to hers—so, not listening, just contemplative?

“What did you mean Lore must have figured out about our bond just in time? Just in time for what?”

Michael shook his head and remained silent. Her gaze darted to Aethan, leaning against the cupboard adjacent to him, and he appeared equally still. They were both hiding something.

“What is it?” she demanded.

Regret darkened Michael’s splintered sapphire eyes. “Let’s just leave it at that. It’s what he wanted.”

“I see.” But she didn’t. Not at all.

Swallowing hard, she turned, only to find her sister in a staring match with her mate in an obvious telepathic argument.

Echo’s eyebrows dipped into a vee, and she glowered. “Aethan, you have to tell her!”

“Tell me what?” Nia choked out, dread compressing her chest.

Aethan sighed and cut Michael an unreadable look. “He didn’t ask me to remain silent.”

On tenterhooks, Nia waited.

Aethan rubbed his jaw, then said, “He didn’t want you to, er…be in pain.”

“From breaking our bond?” She frowned. “But I already am.”

“No, from what he must endure.”

“You’re as bad as Lore, withholding things when it’s something this important. Just tell me, please,” she begged.

Michael exhaled and gulped more of his soda.

“He’s going to fall,” Aethan said.

Her heart crashed against her sternum. Blood pounded in her ears. “He what ?”

“He’s chosen to fall from grace,” Aethan continued. “And he didn’t want you to experience his pain.”

“Well, damn,” Nate muttered.

“Why didn’t he tell me?” she breathed.

Michael remained silent, guzzling more soda.

“Because not all angels survive the fall from grace when they step into whitefire,” Aethan explained. “He didn’t want you to feel him die if he didn’t make it.”

“He…he could die ?” Dizziness and pain swamped her. She moaned as the floor tipped up?—

Someone scooped her up, crossed to the living room, and set her down on the couch. Nate.

Oh, Lore… New anguish surged. Tears welled.

“Nia?” Echo sat beside her. “The thing about a soul-joined bond is, if a bonded mate dies, then the other will pass soon after, too. Another reason why he broke it.”

“He would want you to have a life,” Aethan said, standing near the couch.

She sat there, tears falling…

Then anger erupted. “What does he know?”

She jumped up and paced the length of the couch, frustration and dread warring within her. “Doesn’t he get that he’s all I want? God! I could kill him myself for leaving me in the dark, making me believe he didn’t care!”

She scrubbed her hot face and spun to face Michael in the kitchen. “What are the statistics? The percentage of those who live through this fall?”

At Michael’s compassionate look, her stomach heaved. “Please, just tell me.”

“Fifty-fifty. The perilous whitefire affects each angel differently.”

His words flattened the air in her lungs. Nia shook her head, breathing harshly. Lore could die all alone, thinking she hated him.

“Take me to him.”

“I cannot.” Michael tossed the can into the disposal bin beneath the sink. “You won’t be allowed into the Celestial Realm.”

“I get that. I meant take me to where he would end up.”

Michael joined her in the living room. “It’s not that straightforward, Rania. He could awaken anywhere, in any realm.” His gaze softened a tad. “You have to be prepared. Most angels who survive their fall won’t be whole. Sometimes, they seek oblivion in the Dark Realm to numb their torment.”

Her stomach heaved. “Seek oblivion? How?”

A deep sigh. “Some join the demon lords, seeking violence. Others pursue sexual gratification. It depends on what draws them.”

She glared at Michael while her heart broke further. “It doesn’t matter, not when he gave up everything for me. Please, tell me what I must do?”

“Wait.”

God! She shut her eyes.

“Aethan?” Echo’s voice broke the tense silence. “Your mother was a seraph when she fell. How did she survive this?”

Nia’s gaze snapped to his, not daring to breathe.

His sympathetic stare met Nia’s briefly. “The difference is my sire could go through realms to catch her as she fell since he could track her through their mate bond. One he refused to break. And yes, he likely felt everything she endured.”

And Lore had broken theirs. For her.

Lore stood at the top of Zenith, the highest mountain on the fringes of the Celestial Realm.

He was always on the other side, taking the angels who wanted to fall to this place and giving them a last chance to change their minds. If they did, their memories of whoever or whatever had caused their desire to fall were wiped clean before they were bound to the Celestial Realm for millennia as penance.

Now, here he was in his final moments as a Heavenly being, awaiting to take the ultimate leap and leave all this behind—a leap to be with the woman who’d stolen his heart… Or to his death.

His mind resolute, with a thought, his attire changed to all black, the color he wore with Nia. He stilled, recalling the surreal moment of his discovery by the Arcane River.

Love.

He loved her. Deeply.

He rubbed his chest, missing her warmth, her light, her sharp tongue, and her contagious smile. Most of all, he missed her. She was all that kept him going, even while the ache, the absence of their bond, as short as it had been, flayed him like a never-ending sword thrusting into his heart.

If he didn’t survive this, then she would have a chance to find happiness without him. But if he did, he had his work cut out for him—Nia would not easily let him in again. He didn’t care as long as he was with her. He would spend the rest of his life making it up to her.

First, he had to survive the fall.

Jehoel appeared in a flurry of robes and a flutter of his many wings. When Chamuel said he’d oversee Lore’s fall, he expected a Throne to do the last walk with him, but here was Jehoel.

To say goodbye?

No…something didn’t feel right about this.

“There is still time to change your mind, Loráed.”

Lore slid his hands into his pants pockets, his own wings rustling out behind him. Whatever this dark feeling was, he shut it out.

“You should know me well enough, Jehoel. When I make up my mind, there is no changing it.”

“It is a sad moment, indeed.” A deep sigh. Then, he nodded. “So be it.” The seraph lifted his hands and waved them in an intricate weave, causing the air in front of him to part, revealing a dark, swirling gateway.

“It will be as it should.” He patted Lore on the back.

Lore frowned at the strange words. But he didn’t care about their meaning. He was leaving. He pulled off his tunic and tossed it aside.

With a deep breath, he stepped through and fell.

Like a plummeting star, he plunged into unending darkness, falling down, down, and down…then the immense heat hit him like an inferno.

Instinctively, he used his wings to repel the blaze, but his appendages caught fire. A groan tore free. Flames crackled, spreading across his body, yet his skin remained untouched. The acrid odor of burning feathers consumed him. His powers battered his entire being, seeking release. Heavens! He gritted his teeth.

Have to hold on…come out alive…

Unadulterated agony engulfed him as molten heat incinerated every inch of his body, burning away his divinity.

There was nothing he could do, suspended in the roar of whitefire. His body bowed backward, his wings erupting in an explosion of feathers and bones. Crimson embers falling?—

“Father!” An agonized cry tore free from the depths of his very soul, echoing through the universe as he hurtled through the darkness again, through glittering realms…

A star dying.