Falling for Ezra Thomas (Life With the Thomas Brothers #4)

15. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

Lorelai

Staying at the cabin has been refreshing, but after almost two whole weeks, I’m almost out of things to do. I’ve plowed through my stack of books, took up sketching bumblebees for some reason, and I’m learning how to make homemade bread. There’s a lot to be said about the slower life. I’m starting to think it agrees with me more than running around like a soldier—no pun intended—making money for someone else.

But it has been two weeks, and now I’m a little bored. Vivien messaged me that things were going well with wedding planning, so I leaped at the chance to invite her over. I need some time with my sister, and if I’m honest, a little girl time in general.

So when she shows up with Emma, Ella, and Ella’s sister, Abigail, I’m not at all surprised.

“Surprise!” Vivien says, and holds up bags of treats. “I brought backup, because you’ve been up here in this cabin forever, and there’s no way you still have goodies left. Also, they wouldn’t let me leave without them.”

“I kind of anticipated some extra company,” I say. I don’t know Abigail that well, but since her sister and Silas are dating again, I’ve gotten to know her better. But there’s another woman trudging up the steep driveway a little behind them that I am surprised to see. Luna Parsons, Rafe’s ex-girlfriend.

I’ve missed her since they broke up, even reached out to her once but she was at work and couldn’t say more than a few words. Things haven’t been the same without her around, and despite the swooping feeling in my stomach, I’m glad to see her.

“Hi, Luna,” I say and step aside so she can enter.

“Hey, Lore. I’m so sorry I’ve been distant. Things have been…weird,” she admits before she’s barely crossed the threshold. Almost as if I’ll throw her out if she doesn’t have a good excuse.

I close the door behind everyone and breathe a sigh of relief. I didn’t realize just how much I needed these girls until they were all standing in a room with me.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here,” I say and grin. “I’ve had a great time up here, but I have to admit I’m getting a little bored.” I shrug and motion for everyone to get comfortable. “Does anyone want hot cocoa? I’ve become an expert. I also have homemade bread for toast, but that’s less…perfected.”

There’s a round of laughter and yes replies, then Luna says, “Did you draw these?” She holds up my sketch pad and my cheeks flush. A bona fide professional artist is holding my elementary sketches of bees right now, and I’m freaking out. Of course, it’s not like I intend to suddenly change careers and become an artist, but I have enjoyed it. I’m embarrassed at how silly they look now that I’m in the presence of greatness.

And Luna is great. In fact, it’s one of the things that pulled her away from us—a job offer at a museum in Chatswain City.

“Uh, yeah. I was just doodling and wasting time.” I slip into the open kitchen area and bang around with the pots to distract myself.

“Lore, these are really good. The detail is amazing for an amateur.” Luna flips through the pages while the girls gather to look them over. I am officially not bored anymore, but utterly mortified. I’m going to need another week-long sabbatical to get over this.

“Uh, thanks,” I mumble and try to ignore the oohs and ahs.

“Lore, I mean it. Look at me,” Luna demands, reminding me that she knows me almost as well as Vivien. She’s been a part of our lives for years, and she’s hip to my self-destructive, self-critical ways. I glance up and barely make eye contact. “I wouldn’t lie to you about art, okay. These are good. Keep working at it and don’t let the critical voice tell you not to.” She shakes the pad and points to a bumblebee’s legs. “You even have the little fuzzies on his adorable legs. This is beautiful.”

I nod again and pour the milk into a large pot.

“They would be so cute in children’s books,” Emma says, while Ella peers over her shoulder. This incites a full conversation about my drawings and how hard it might be to write children’s books.

Vivien breaks from the group and joins me in the kitchen. With a great big hug, she soothes my nerves. “You doing okay? The truth, not what you think I want to hear.”

My head seems stuck in the nod position, but when she frowns and crosses her arms, I know it’s time to use real words. “I am, honest. I’m feeling better about a lot of things, including Ezra and me. I kind of wish I didn’t have to leave this little cabin, but reality says I’ll have to.”

“Speaking of which, I got a letter from Ezra. He sent one to Beck and the others, too. Seems he’s made a friend?” She smiles, and I know exactly what she’s doing. She’s trying to reassure me that Ezra is okay, but I see right through her. She’s trying to convince herself as much as anyone. I thought it might be odd to date him with the deep friendship between Ezra and my sister, but I find it’s actually…comforting. I don’t have to say much for her to understand, and since she knows us both so well, she can make me feel better without trying too hard.

“It looks like it, and I’m glad for that. I was worried he’d be miserable, but if he’s made a friend, then…well, I guess they can be miserable together.” We laugh, gaining the girls’ attention.

Abigail sits at one of the stools at the kitchen bar and smiles. She’s a little shy too, but I get it. It’s hard to break into this strange friend group we have, built primarily on our common fondness for Thomas brothers. Well, and her fondness for Judson Baker, Novan’s best friend who has been around even longer than Luna. The Thomases seem to collect people like knick-knacks, but none of us mind.

“I know Judson being in Alaska on the mission trip isn’t exactly the same as what Ezra is doing, but I just wanted to say that I understand how hard it is. But really, I think the distance will prove whether they’re really right for us or not.”

I sigh and lean on the counter. “I know you’re probably right. I just miss him.”

“I didn’t get too many dates with Judson before he left, but I get that too. If you ever want to hang out, I’m almost always free.” Her cheeks flush, but there’s no reason to be embarrassed. I’d love to hang out with her, get to know her more, and maybe enjoy some more frequent girl time now that I’m not held down by a job I despise.

“They come back a little different, too, though,” Ella adds and leans on the counter beside her sister. “I don’t mean that in a bad way. I think Silas was right. He needed that trip. While I would have liked him to go about it in a different way, the end result was worth it. He’s stronger and more stable than he would have been without that experience to help him mature, you know?”

My gaze instinctively drifts toward Luna, who is still analyzing my bumblebee sketches.

“I think I know what you mean,” I say. “They’re doing what they feel called to do, and that makes a lot of difference.”

“Have you had any clarity up here about that?” Vivien asks. “Any thoughts on what you’d like to do?”

I frown and stir the milk. “Not really. I can’t say for sure if it was the old job that gave me the anxiety, or if it’s medicine in general. I worked too hard to just give it up, but I also know I can’t live my entire life regretting my career choice.”

“That’s not a fun position to be in,” Emma says. She’s already broken into the cookies and nibbles one while she sits beside Ella. Everything in my heart shifts. These ladies aren’t just friends. They’re family. At least, I think they will be. This is what family holidays can look like. What vacations might be moving forward—a whole town full of Thomases and the women they love. What an insane thought.

I suppose it had to happen sometime. After all, the Thomas family has practically built little Coldstone Creek into a family affair all on their own, but they aren’t the only ones. Once people move there, they never want to leave. It’s home the second you unpack the first box, and I can’t imagine ever wanting anything else.

Except…I might have to. I don’t know what will happen after Ezra finishes basic training. He could go anywhere, and am I prepared to go with him? Is that what my future holds?

Luna sighs, alerting me to the fact that she’s joined us. “I wish I had some words of advice for you, but I’m beginning to wonder if taking the job in Chatswain City was a good idea,” she admits.

“But you’re overseeing a whole exhibit. Wasn’t that the goal?” I ask, my shoulders tensing at the mere thought she might regret her move and come back. I shouldn’t be so giddy about it, but I miss her too much not to be a little excited.

She shrugs. “It was, yes, but not at the expense of…well…you know.” She lowers her gaze.

Vivien, who has never been too shy to pry into someone’s business, finally blurts out the question we’ve all wanted to ask for so long. “So, why did you and Rafe break up? He won’t say, and I can’t believe for a second it was because you stopped loving each other.”

“Wow.” Luna brushes her shoulder length dark hair from her face and sighs. “Still blunt as ever, I see.”

“Well, we miss you. You kinda dumped everyone.” Vivien shrugs but it’s the truth no matter how hard it is for Luna to hear.

“Of course I still love him, but a girl can only wait so many years for a man to make a permanent commitment. Every time we talked about marriage, he had a ton of excuses. He wanted to do this first and that first, meanwhile I’m waiting and waiting. When the exhibit job came up and I told him I wanted to take it, he was supportive. Then I told him I wanted to break up, and he literally said nothing.”

“Wait, not a word? Not a single word?” I ask.

“Nope. It was the most awkward sixty seconds of silence of my life, then I left.” She fidgets with the cocoa packets on the counter to distract herself from five sets of eyeballs staring her down, waiting for more details.

“And?” Vivien asks.

“And that’s it. I haven’t spoken to him since.” Luna finally glances up at us. “It was a test, and I guess I’m the fool who got played. If he wanted me, he’d have said something. He just let me walk out the door and hasn’t bothered calling me.”

“I mean, maybe he’s afraid? You haven’t called him either, right?” I ask, somewhat desperate to understand why two people who were together for years can literally walk away with nothing said between them, no fight, nothing.

“No. I thought he’d call, and when he didn’t, it felt like too much time had passed.”

“So, you’re saying the two of you aren’t together because neither of you wants to be the first person to make a phone call?” Vivien is borderline frantic at this point, mimicking my own fast-beating heart.

“It’s not like that. We’re in different stages in our lives. I want a career, a family, and kids. He wants to sit and play video games all day.” Luna waves her hand, clearly trying to change the subject.

“He doesn’t play video…Okay, he does, but you know why. It’s his job, Luna,” I argue.

“Look, I understand he wants to design them, but couldn’t he still move forward with other commitments in his life? I was willing to do that, but he wouldn’t.”

We’re all getting a little feisty, so I glance around the room and try to think of something else to talk about. Anything to get Luna off the hook. For now. I definitely want to have a one-on-one with her, but all of us ganging up on her and picking apart her relationship with Rafe will only make it worse.

I sigh loudly, pulling everyone’s attention to me. “Sometimes careers don’t go like you plan. I’m still trying to figure mine out.”

“I’ve been looking around, but it doesn’t seem like anyone is hiring right now. Mrs. Thomas said you could do some work for her in between jobs, so you’ll still have income.” Vivien nibbles a cookie but almost spews it everywhere when she gets a brilliant—in her mind—idea. “Hey, have you thought any more about opening your own practice? You’d be your own boss, set your own hours, and be in charge.”

“That’s expensive, not to mention super stressful. I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it. I wasn’t at that point in my game plan yet,” I admit.

“Well, we could always go over it with Mr. Thomas and see what the numbers look like. You know Mom and Dad would want to invest and help you get it off the ground.” Vivien’s right. Our parents did say they would do that way back when I first entered veterinary school, but it’s a big risk and I’m not even sure if it’s what I want to do.

As if offering me the same out I gave her, Luna sighs. “Hey, let’s eat until we pop and watch a movie. Enough of this difficult life stuff.”

She grabs a bag of marshmallows and heads back to the living room with a trail of ladies behind her. Vivien waits in the kitchen with me while I get steaming mugs of hot cocoa ready.

“Hey, you know whatever happens, things will work out, right?” she says.

I chew my lip but manage a nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I know, but you know how I am about things hanging in pause mode. My brain glitches.”

“I know, but don’t think of it like pause mode. It’s just a season of rest, Lore, and if anyone deserves it, it’s you.”

I try to take my sister’s words of wisdom to heart, but I can’t help how my brain works. Except, I should be able to. I need to trust that God has already worked out the details, and all I have to do is hold on for the ride. The only problem is that it’s really difficult to do that when everything changes all at once. Vivien is right though. It’s a season for rest. For a reset. For exploring new options, and part of me is really excited to see what the future brings.