Fangs of Fate (Untish #1)

Chapter 40

CHAPTER FORTY

TATE

Vala was steadying me as we left the pub—I was pretty sure Jared had helped direct me through the maze of barrel tables in the overcrowded room. Outside the night air was fresh. It was exhilarating. Finally, the numbness was slowly being erased. Dizzying freeness took its place.

“Guys, look at the stars!” I threw my head back as I spoke. I used to love to stargaze with my mother and Fletch. Guess I’m on my own now. Perhaps they’re in the heavens twinkling down on me. Fletch wanted me to be a firecracker, to be free. I would be.

“Woah, steady there.” Vala reached down and pulled me upright. “Let’s get you to bed and you can sleep it off.”

“Sleep? Are you kidding me, for the first time in weeks I feel alive ! No sleep for me.” I spotted some vines and tiny grapes in the vineyard. “Look! How cute are these?” I pulled Vala with me as we went into the vineyard. I was pretty sure my words were slurring, but I didn’t care. They understood me clear enough to follow.

“Val, this is nuts. We’re going to get in trouble. This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Jared’s voice was low, like he was trying to speak to Vala without me hearing.

“Hush, it’s fine. She wants to check out the vineyard and the air will do her good. Plus,” she reached out and cupped a cluster of grapes, “they are cute.”

“He specifically said to stay out of the vineyard.”

“Mhmm, and you always do what you’re told?” Vala retorted, eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, man up, Jared and grow a pair,” my last word was slurred beyond recognition.

“You two are relentless.”

“What? Does this motion make you uncomfortable?” Vala squeezed the cluster of grapes as she spoke.

“Eww. Ok, you t-t-two get a room already. I’mmma…I’mma going for a walk!” I broke free from her grip and made it all of ten feet before I began to stumble, laughter overtaking me as the ground approached. Two large solid hands stopped me.

The smell of salt and ash surrounded me. Even in my drunken state, I recognized that scent. Like it was somehow a part of me, darkness to my light. Freedom to my pain.

But…it couldn’t be, could it? I looked up into a pair of dark eyes shadowed by wisps of black hair falling into his face, caressing some grown stubble shadowing his jawline.

“What in the hell are you doing out here?” Mardi held me steady even as his voice was that of thundering ice chips.

“I…uh, we were just following her and making sure she was safe, and she wanted to see the grapes, cause…uh, cause they’re cute. And actually, they really are cute, and you know she may have had a bit to drink.” Vala tilted her head as she spoke. “And we thought air would be good. Fresh air that is.” Vala’s rambling had grown on me.

“Enough, dokimoses!”

“Sorry, Ae—” Vala grunted as Jared elbowed her. “Sorry, sir,” she finished speaking barely above a whisper as she massaged her abdomen.

“And you.” He leaned in closer to me, the scent of smoked ash was intoxicating and strangely welcoming. There were hints of something I couldn’t quite place, but it beckoned me closer. If a person could smell like sexy ash, he certainly did. He sniffed in my direction. “You reek.”

Rage roiled up. How dare he. I shoved against him, but he didn’t budge, and instead, I pushed myself backwards only to be stopped by his hands—again.

“Letta meee go.” I began to smack him.

“Dokimoses, return to your rooms, now.”

“Are you kidding me? Yo-you’re an imposterrr!” I shouted and this time he covered my mouth with his hand and pushed me deeper into the vineyard, my back brushing the vines.

“You two head back, I’ve got this,” he commanded Vala and Jared without taking his eyes from me.

“But—”

“Now!”

Footsteps retreated. Vala and Jared had left me with this male.

“Tate, I need you to keep calm and shut the hell up about anything that could get us in trouble.” His body was warm as he pulled me close to him. Sweet blood my body responded to his warmth. His mere presence had my heart rate increasing.

“I bettt you woulda liked thattt.” Blood Mother, I couldn’t even speak.

“You clearly lack restraint. You’re useless.” He shook his head, even as his eyes bore deeper into my soul.

How dare he. I may be intoxicated, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew when I was being demeaned.

“Let. Me. Goooo.” I pulled and this time he released. I went careening back in the vines; vines that then threw me forward to my knees and hands.

“You basstharddd.” I pushed up and was now in a seated position, bracing myself with my hands.

“You never signaled.” His eyes bore through me before landing on my neck. The necklace. I was supposed to let him know when I found Fletch. Well, I found him and thanks to him, Fletch was gone.

“It’s your fault!” I snarled as I raised my voice, finding clear words for the first time since I entered the vineyard. “You killed him!”

He appeared unphased. A wall of stone. He bent over and yanked me up. His speed was so incredibly fast. He placed his hands on my shoulders, giving me a gentle shake. A shake that excited and frustrated me at the same time. Stupid hormones. Stupid drunk mind. Stupid, stupid, stupid?—

I shook my head.

“Don’t you touch me!” I struggled to keep my voice even. The air was clearing my head but the anger in my belly was the sobering factor. Mardi was responsible.

“Tate, listen to me. You need to get your head screwed on right and be quiet. We’re risking a lot for you and even if I think you’re a complete and utter waste of effort, certain people disagree. So, prove me wrong, damn it, and shut the hell up.”

“Is there a problem, Anax Mardi?” Dux Harden can into view.

“Yesss—”

My voice was muffled as Mardi managed to pull me closer, my face warmed by his chest. The look in his eyes promised violence. For the first time since we’d gotten here, I was actually scared. That made me angry.

I could feel sparks flowing through my veins, and maybe it was the alcohol, but I could swear I began to see through flames that haloed my vision. Mardi’s eyes widened before he leaned in and cupped my face with both hands.

His lips were on mine before I could respond.

They were large, warm, and wet. All-encompassing. My anger fizzled and suddenly I couldn’t think clearly. My pulse quickened as I deepened the kiss.

Tasting. Wanting. More.

I pulled his tongue into my mouth further, savoring the way he stroked mine with his own. His grip on my cheeks altered and one hand lifted my chin up further while the other swept back behind my neck and dug into my hair. A new high began to take over my system. My nerves were firing relentlessly, sparking even.

I was kissing him. Had I lost my mind? Somehow his mouth felt safe, known even. Like we were dancing a dance we’d rehearsed a million times. His grip loosened and his tongue’s movement slowed. I could feel him slowly searching me, gently, before pulling back and then breaking the kiss.

“Nope, no trouble Dux Harden. Is there Dokimos Aaralyn?” He was speaking to me like he hadn’t just kissed me. Like my body wasn’t just all nerves firing rapidly from one stupid kiss with a male I should never have engaged with.

“Right,” I replied dumbly. Dux Harder surveyed us for a minute before nodding his head in confirmation.

“Well then, I’m off. Let me know if you need anything before your departure at dawn, Anax Mardi.”

“Will do, thank you.”

Dux Harden nodded at Mardi and then disappeared back toward the settlement.

I stared at the male before me, wrapped in shadows and mystery. Who was he? “What was that for?”

“Ah, she finds her tongue and is finally sober enough to be intelligible.”

“Jackass.”

“You nearly got us killed.”

“You kissed me.”

“So?”

Was he kidding? That kiss wasn’t just a kiss, it was a kiss . One like I’d never had before—one that scrambled my senses. Surely, he’d felt it too.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” I tried to raise my righteous indignation, but oddly I just wanted to lean into him and kiss him again. The alcohol was still clearly impairing my judgment; perhaps I wasn’t as sober as I thought.

“You have to make everything so damn difficult.” He leaned in closer to me and I didn’t back away. Chest heaving, he paused; emotions flickering so fast in his eyes I couldn’t read them. His jaw ticked before he wordlessly picked me up and cradled me in his arms, close to his chest. I could feel his heart beating, his pulse quickening. Thank Blood, I wasn’t the only one who was responding to our proximity. My body begged for more of his touch.

What the hell was in that bloodwine?

He walked toward the settlement, weaving behind different buildings before entering a fancy looking inn. The duxes’ quarters. I couldn’t say I minded the idea of having more of his touch, but he didn’t even consider asking if I was interested. Didn’t have the right to ask.

“Put me down,” I demanded.

“Not a chance.” He stalked through the doors and went up a set of stairs.

“Now.” I straightened my spine, trying to get free of his grip.

He paused and had the gall to smirk at me. His palms tightened, fingers digging in slightly to my curves. “As if.”

“You asshole!”

He remained wordless as he stalked up the stairs and then made a left down a hallway. I squirmed as he kicked a door open and then shut it behind us. The heat in my cheeks and core doubled at the sight of the bed.

How could I possibly desire this male?

The space was smaller than I expected. Only a small parlor and then an adjoining bedroom with a large bed. He approached the bed and opened his arms, dumping me on it like he couldn’t wait to be rid of my touch.

“I can’t believe you.” I glared up at him.

“Look, don’t get the wrong idea with the kiss. I just needed everyone else to think we were a thing for the night so I can make sure you don’t do something that could cost us all our lives.”

His words stung as proof by the hurt burning in my chest. “I’m not staying here.” I began to rise but he blocked the doorway with his body.

“Like it or not, this is the safest place for you right now. Arithi thinks you’re worth it. I’m not so sure, but for tonight you’ll stay here where I can ensure your safety.”

My safety? I was safer away from him and Arithi. She was the one asking about Fletch. The one seeking Fletch. The one who tasked me with finding him. They were responsible for putting him in danger.

“You killed him!” I lunged at him and began yanking on his hair. His yelp brought me so much satisfaction. I yanked again on the black strands, harder this time.

“You ended Fletch!”

He stood there, allowing me to pound on his chest. He remained unmoving as I pounded again and again, pouring out my rage, my pain. He took it without defense, without question—he just allowed me to mourn.

Moments later I’d stilled, my energy depleted. Fletch was gone and with him my sense of home, my belonging, my past, and my future. I was alone.

As if in answer, Mardi pulled me into a hug and stroked my back.

Not alone.

I stood there, cradled by a male I loathed—no, hated. And yet, I couldn’t will myself to move. I didn’t want to move, to pull away.

Night had truly fallen as the room was engulfed in shadows that somehow seemed bright even through their darkness. Mardi cleared his throat and stopped his comforting strokes on my back. “So, Fletch is in fact dead then.” A statement and not a question.

“Don’t act like you care. You did this to him!” I didn’t care that I was being irrational, craving his touch and yet loathing the male. Didn’t care that moments ago I found comfort in his touch. The mere sound of Fletch’s name on his lips released a new wave of anger.

I dug my fingers into his throat, but just as before he didn’t pull back. Blood began to pool there, oddly colored. It was deep red with swirls of gold.

“You should have notified us the moment you found him.” His eyes held a certain sorrow to them. Was he serious?

“You don’t even care! You just wanted to use him. He said so himself! He was just your informant.” I squeezed tighter, but his hand came up and grabbed my wrist this time.

“Enough. What’s done is done.” He jerked my hand from his throat.

Fire rose in my belly.

I screamed as I threw myself at him, kicking out his knee from under him and sending him toppling over. I used my forearm to pin him to the ground. Within a second, he was out of my grasp and had my left arm yanked behind my back, my belly pinned to the floor.

“First off, your fighting skills are shit.” Any tenderness had left his voice replaced by the steel of a leader, a dux. “Secondly, his loss is a tragedy. A sacrifice and one that I will not squander. Now tell me exactly what happened.”

I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe. This was my fault. My presence ushered in Fletch’s death.

“You wouldn’t have done anything! He was already being interrogated and mutilated!” I bucked and tried to break his grip on my left forearm, but he leaned into me, his weight compressing my lungs.

“Tate. What happened?”

“They killed him! Because of you and your stupid leader’s quest for knowledge, they killed him and left him like he was…” My voice began to break as my vision blurred. “Like his was nothing.” No. I would not give him the satisfaction of my tears.

“What did he say, word for word?” His voice softened a bit as his grip loosened.

I didn’t want to talk. The memory, the pressure was too painful. It seeped through me, consumed my soul.

Mardi flipped me over and locked eyes with me.

Known.

My sorrow began to overwhelm my senses and words just started to pour out.

“I came back to my home completely trashed. I was taken in for questioning, and then witnessed them torture Fletch until they decided to use me as additional motivation to get him to speak.” A sob broke from my lips. I hated that he was seeing me like this.

Anger coursed through his face. He yanked up my sleeve. My skin was still pink from healing, scratch marks covered my arm. The scars I’d created.

“Tell me exactly what happened, don’t skip a single word.”

Hours later I sat across from Mardi in an overstuffed armchair. At least I had that comfort. Two glasses of blood were in front of us, no wine because according to the controlling jackass in front of me, I’d had enough.

“Again. I need you to try to remember.”

“I told you already! I was in and out of consciousness. I didn’t even know it was Fletch once the gas started.”

“That’s what you think, Tate, but you’re smarter than you think. You have better abilities than you know. Your subconscious is capable of so much more than you’re aware. So please, try to focus.”

“I was being gassed. I heard his voice and agonizing cries. It’s just…” I rubbed my temples with my fingers. “It’s all a blur.”

Mardi sighed and ran his hand down his face, mirroring my own actions.

“This may surprise you, Mardi, but this is exhausting for me too. Living it was hell and now you’re asking me to relive it again and again.”

He stared at me, his face once again an unreadable mask. “What did it smell like when the gas was on?”

“What?”

“Focus on one of your senses and block everything else out. What did it smell like?”

“I don’t know.”

“Close your eyes and try.”

I sighed; he was truly agitating. Good news was that morning would be dawning soon and I’d finally be able to get out of this room and back in a tin can. Dear Blood, I couldn’t believe I wished to be cooped up in that smelly thing again.

“Fine.” I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the scent in the interrogation room. “It smelled like citrus and fire. I don’t know, peppery?”

“Good. Now did it always smell like that?”

“No.” I paused, trying to put my finger on the smell of the mist that came after the gas. “Black licorice. The mist smelled like candy.”

“Perfect, now what did you hear? Not words, but sounds. What did the gas sound like?”

“It sounded like gas!” I shot him a glare. He just stared at me. Fine. “It sputtered and then sprayed and made a ‘cshhhh’ sound.”

“Good. Now think back to the room, focus on those sounds.”

I could recall the sound of the gas pumping into the room, the hum of the generator, the clicking of the nozzle, the buzzing sensation on the floor. I felt a swirling pressure around me, pulling at my mind. My eyes flew open to see Mardi’s index finger extended at me, his eyes closed. Magic , he was using magic.

“Focus on that room Tate, not this one.”

“But you’re using magic.”

“Yes, I am and you’re wasting it. Fletch died to give us some information, he risked his life for it, for us and for you. So please, try to focus on that room.”

I hated that he was right. I wouldn’t let Fletch’s death be in vain. I wanted to remember what he said. At the time it felt important. I didn’t give two craps about Mardi or his mission, but I wanted to remember Fletch’s last message to me.

“Fine.”

I recalled the room again and everything became heightened. I could hear the hum of electricity, the gentle clicking of the nozzle letting the gas in the room, the way the window felt under my fingers when I pressed against it. The feeling of the cool floor, the agonizing sizzle on my skin. The sounds of my screams escalating in sound and then…Fletch’s scream. Agonizing. It surrounded me—his cries were everywhere.

“Enough, it’s too much.” My heart rate increased.

A gentle pressure surrounded me, comforting strokes up and down my back. “Block out the cries, focus on the sound of his breathing.”

I tried. At first, I couldn’t. All I could hear were his screams, but then a calm settled over me and muted his screams. I could hear the breaths in between. I could hear him panting. Drips of blood hitting the floor. I could hear it all.

“Good, now focus on what he said, let everything else fall away.”

I inhaled and focused on Fletch’s breaths. Inhale and exhale. Then his words. Tears pricked at my eyes. My Fletch had spoken words of love, words of my childhood. That was his final message to me. I sniffled.

“What, Tate? What did he say?” Mardi didn’t deserve to know. It was none of his business.

“Nothing.”

Suddenly the pleasant coaxing sensation heightening everything vanished and was replaced prodding pressure around my mind. My eyes flew open.

“Stop it.” I shot daggers at him with my eyes.

“Tell me what he said.”

“It won’t matter to you it was a message for me.”

“It may be important.” His eyes hooded and he seemed in conflict with himself. The comforting silence of the memory ended. Instead of Fletch’s undiluted words of love, I could hear his screams, feel the gas. The burning. The pain. The screams were all around.

“It hurts!”

“It’s all in your head, Tate, please just tell me what he said. It could be encrypted.”

My senses were overwhelmed, no longer muted. I caved. “He said, ‘Tate, no matter what, know that my love for you was true! You always were my firecracker in life. Shine bright from your heart, only it knows the truth! ’”

Fletch’s voice echoed through my mind and heart. The painful sensation evaporated and was replaced with a warm fuzzy feeling across my skin. The screams were muted, the gas and its painful memory staunched.

“Thank you. I’m…sorry.” He stood. “Fletch was a good male.”

“I hate you.” I shot daggers at him even through pain-filled eyes. It was the worst moment of my life, and I’d just relived it. Yes, I got answers and a memory that was buried, but I also had to experience the loss of him all over again.

He stood and left the room without another word.

The warm sensation still flitted and swarmed around me like an embrace.

I sat there, tears pricking at my eyes. Fletch wanted me to live even while he died. I don’t remember if he said anything else to them, but they stopped gassing me and killed him instead. He was gone. I curled my arms around myself and began to rock back and forth.

I recalled the sound of his breaths, the love in his words, the kindness in his tone. The image and scent of his remains assaulted my memory. Tears began to fall and stream down my face.

My head began to get heavy and fuzzy. The tingling around me deepened, calming my senses with a cloaking pressure.

I closed my eyes and tried to block all the memory out. Angry. I was angry. He left me and it was because of the work he was doing for Arithi. I would live to make her regret putting Fletch in danger.

I sat there rocking myself in comfort for hours or minutes, I didn’t know. The pressure around me soothed my senses and reassured me that I was still alive—even while Fletch wasn’t. His cries and screams were muted, I couldn’t even remember what they sounded like and for that I was grateful. The room of pain vanished from my mind and instead, I only saw Fletch. The love in his eyes as he spoke to me—gave me his final words.

I clung to that.

A bell sounded. It was time to board the circuit. I opened my eyes, wiped my face, and stood. Mardi would wish he’d never met me. I’d make sure of it. I stood and began to make my way to the circuit, purpose in each step.