Fatal Attraction (Love Kills Duet #2)

20. Twenty

Twenty

Phoenix

M y stomach churned as Spike drove us to the sanctum. Leo’s screams played a gruesome performance in my head, bellowing through my ears like we’d never left the shed, like I was still standing in front of him, hammering nails through his hands and breaking each and every finger until they were hanging sideways.

I felt sick, so sick that I had to demand Spike pull over so I could open the door and spew my guts all over the side of the road.

“Jesus, fuck.” He unclipped his seatbelt and sat up on his knees in the seat, bending toward me and patting my back as I puked again, hating myself more and more.

Welcome home, brother.

The Rolling Rebels was not my fucking home, and Crow was not my goddamn brother.

“You good, man?”

“No,” I answered, leaning up as I spat the last of the yuck off my lips. “Do you still keep mouthwash in here?”

Spike nodded and sat back in his seat, pointing to the glove compartment. I opened it and found the bottle as promised, swishing the shit around in my mouth and gargling until my tonsils felt like they were on fire.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked after I spit the mouthwash on the pavement and shut the door.

“What do you think?”

He sighed, then checked the mirrors before pulling back out on the road. “Phoenix, I’m—”

“I need to be punished,” I whispered, my eyes heavy with unshed tears. “I need to be punished for what I did tonight.”

“Phoenix—”

“The wheel,” I murmured, knowing exactly what had to be done to make amends for what I did to Leo. “Put me on the wheel tonight.”

“No.” Spike’s voice was twisted with rage. “ Fuck no .”

I was a fucking monster. It had been over twenty years since I had to do that to someone, break their bones and listen to them cry out in agony while I tortured them. Back then I was just a kid, and, at the time, I thought nothing about the repercussions from my actions because I was in love with Kendall and wanted to impress Crow and their father. I was blind as a teenager, but I wasn’t a teen anymore. I was pushing right at thirty-seven years old, and I fucking knew better.

I fucking knew better!

“We have to deliver one hell of a show tonight,” I told him, my voice cracking. “I’m hereby relinquishing myself to you and Charlotte. To fuck and use as you both please, no matter the damage. Just promise me you’ll make it hurt.”

“ We’re not putting you on the goddamn wheel ,” he tightly hissed, eyes flashing. “Punishing yourself isn’t going to fix anything.”

I swallowed; my mouth so dry it felt like I’d just eaten a bucket of sand. “Leo was five when I left for college. Fucking five . I used to buy him candy and soda and give him piggy-back rides.”

My chest tugged as the memories came flooding back, the pain sharp and biting.

“Listen to me.” Spike shot me a distasteful glare, his jaw clenched so tight I was surprised his teeth hadn’t crumbled to dust. “I understand you’re upset, but you need to get it the fuck together. We knew what we were getting ourselves into and like it or not, what’s done is done. We won’t catch this bastard if your head’s not in the game.”

Spike was right. Kicking my own ass over the past would only make shit harder on all of us. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I had to remind myself that Leo wasn’t that same little boy I once knew, and the path he’d taken in life was not my fault. He knew what he’d signed up for, as did I. Leo made his bed and now, he had to lay in it.

But it still didn’t make the grief over what I did to him hurt any less.

“I’ll be fine, Spike.” I blew out a sharp breath and leaned back in my seat, ridding the moisture from my eyelids.

“Our masks are in the backseat.”

I twisted around to grab them, leaving Spike’s in my lap as I slipped mine on. Spike activated the blinker and then carefully merged into the correct lane. The sanctum was a quarter mile ahead on the right.

“Charlotte’s already there.”

“Good. Hopefully so is the rest of the team.”

Felix warned us business had been shitty thanks to Amber Strickland’s husband, but I frankly couldn’t believe my eyes when we pulled inside the parking lot and found over half of it empty. After doing a quick estimate in my head, there was right at three-dozen cars here. At least seven of them had to belong to the employees and that didn’t include mine, Charlotte, Carter, and Felix’s vehicles too. Nor the rest of our team, assuming they were here.

Fuck.

This was not a good sign.

“It’s still early,” Spike said as he parked beside Charlotte’s Altima, cutting the engine. “Business usually doesn’t pick up for another hour.” He fetched his mask from my lap and slid it on his face. “Come on. Let’s see what the hell we’re working with. ”

Spike got out first, immediately pointing out Carter posted outside the front door in a borrowed SPD jacket, hands behind his back and face pinched in total concentration as he scrutinized our approach.

“It’s us,” I told him, watching as he expelled a hard breath, his large shoulders sagging in relief.

“Chief and Burgess got here less than five minutes ago, along with four of your coworkers. Charlotte is at the bar and Felix is giving the others a tour of the sanctum.”

“What about club members?”

“Ten. Some are couples, and the rest came in separately. I checked their IDs and membership cards. Aside from that, I haven’t picked up anything suspicious. It’s been deafly quiet out here.”

Spike nodded to that, as did I. “Alright, Carter. Thanks.”

“Yeah, man, no problem. I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

I walked in first, briefly holding the door for Spike, and trudged straight for the combined bar and lounge, cracking a smile at Charlotte scrolling through her phone with one hand while nursing a full shot glass in the other. As if sensing us, she abruptly straightened her spine, and goddamnit if my heart didn’t flutter with anticipation when her mouth spread into that beautiful smile I loved so fucking much. After guiding the shot glass to her lips and gulping the liquor down, her luscious curls bouncing as she strenuously shook her head, she hopped to her feet and then ambled up to me first, pressing a tender kiss to my mouth. Spike scooped her up in his arms and as he kissed her deeply, the exceptional view of the black lace covering her gorgeous ass had my teeth reactively dragging against my bottom lip and my cock growing stiffer than a boulder.

My fucking God she was dangerously breathtaking.

And goddamn I couldn’t wait to remove those panties with my teeth and feast upon her like she was my last supper.

“How are you doing, baby?” I asked when they parted .

“I’m nervous,” she admitted, worrying her bottom lip. “I don’t know why, but I have this horrible feeling in my gut that he knows this is a trap.”

“It doesn’t matter if he does,” Spike whispered as he reached up and tucked a pretty dark curl behind her left ear, caressing what he could of her cheek in his hand. She fell into his touch and breathed in deep, closing her eyes. “Even if he sneaks his way inside and spots the UC’s, he won’t get to you, Charlotte.”

“Maybe not tonight,” she uncomfortably grumbled, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. “But what if he—”

“Listen to me.” I cupped her chin and guided her eyes to mine, tracing my thumb along her bottom lip. “The only way to get to you is through us. Carter, Chief, Cap, and the others are here to be our extra eyes while we do our thing in the Red Room. If he shows up tonight, then great, we’ll get the bastard. If not, then we’ll figure it out. Together.”

“I don’t want to lose you.” Tears filled her eyes as she glanced between us. “Either of you.”

“You won’t, baby,” Spike promised her. “Everything will be okay.”

She didn’t look convinced, but instead of retorting, she just bobbed her head and then gestured toward the bar. “Drink with me?”

“You two go ahead,” Spike said as he glanced around the lounge, undoubtedly hunting for Felix and our colleagues. “I’m gonna find the others and then work on getting shit set up in the Red Room.”