Fearless Bond (Bears of Beauville #1)

Chapter 5

5

CALVIN

Barclay had left right after breakfast, and I was worried about being alone in his home. I kept reminding myself that nobody knew where I was and that Barclay would be back soon. Miraculously, it worked.

The man was most confusing. I needed a break from him anyway.

I stood in the living room, staring at the snowy forest behind the glass wall. I shouldn’t have drunk the coffee. My stomach felt strange—not nauseous, just weird. Like a lightness in my core and restlessness in my muscles. Considering what had happened to me, I should be exhausted and ready to take a nap. Instead, I was bursting with energy.

Maybe a shower was a good idea.

His nice scent lingered in the hall. Without thinking, I paused to breathe it in. Yum .

When I stood in the shower, hot water cascading down my body, I could still taste the scent on my tongue. My underbelly tightened. I washed myself as I always did, except when I ran my hand through my crease, tingles spread in my groin. My cock hardened in my soapy hand.

That was awkward.

I could turn the water to cold.

Or…

My entire relationship with Damian had me dry as dust. He blamed my lack of libido on my anxiety issues. Even though I found him attractive in theory, I’d never gotten aroused by his closeness. Maybe it had been my anxiety. Or maybe it had been Damian’s horrible personality that I’d seen glimpses of from the start but made myself ignore. For what? To please my father?

Not even being alone in a stranger’s home made me as distressed as the prospect of spending a “romantic” weekend with Damian.

I’d gotten away from him, and now my libido was back.

The wave of arousal was overwhelming and invigorating. What had Damian said? Sick in the head, worthless, frigid piece of shit.

Well, fuck you, Damian, and your plastic gym body.

There wasn’t anything wrong with me or my sex drive. It was him who’d been wrong for me.

But I should stop thinking about him if I wanted to get myself off. The memory of Damian’s long, slim erection nearing my face had me cringing. He always used heavily perfumed aftershave and shower gel…

Do not think about him!

The water warmed my shoulders and back, pouring over my ass. I spread my legs wider and let the warmth flow through my crease. Tightening my grip on my cock, I closed my eyes. I needed something to purge Damian from my head.

The only other alpha that came to mind was… Barclay.

My brain conjured the image of the scary mountain man with his immense torso and huge hands. Long fingers.

How would it feel to be touched by a man like that?

Older, mature, gruff, and just a tad animalistic. The scent. I could bury my face between his bulging pecs and breathe it in while he fingered my ass.

Thick, strong fingers. He’d reach my sweet spot easily and stretch me.

How big was his cock?

If it was in proportion with the rest of him, I’d never get it in. I imagined it was thick and veiny, rearing from a dark nest of pubic hair, a bead of precum at the slit, big heavy balls hanging low… He could rub his big dick between my ass cheeks.

“You’re so tiny, omega. We’ll do it like this, hm? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Stretch me out.”

“Yeah? Should I work you open? Just the tip. I’ll come inside you.”

“Stretch me out. Uh-huh. Please.”

I slapped the water shut and pushed two fingers into my hole. I groaned with a happy realization. I was so wet .

Damian had always used lube with me. It chafed anyway.

Now? I was cramming three fingers up my slippery butt and moaning like a shameless slut. And all the while, I was smiling.

Hello, masturbation. I missed you so much.

The Barclay from my fantasy was stroking his huge dick, telling me he’d go slow. That he’d fuck me shallowly and carefully until I learned to take him whole.

“Get on your knees. I’ll teach you how to take a real alpha cock.”

And I came.

The orgasm took me by surprise. No buildup, no almost there, please, please, oh please, almost … It just washed over me and hugged me from head to toe.

Fuck, that was nice.

I fluttered my fingers to prolong my pleasure. So very very nice.

Screw you, Damian.

I’m not frigid. My libido isn’t dead. I just needed to get away from you, you nasty piece of rat turd.

My cock was still hard. I let out a long, satisfied groan as I slowly pulled my fingers out and stroked my twitching cock up and down.

The main door slammed, and I jumped.

Shit .

Did Barclay hear me?

Hopefully not.

I rinsed the bodily fluids off and dried myself. My good mood persisted.

When I met a scowling Barclay in the hallway, I smiled at him, and he grunted in response. He really was just a big grumpy teddy bear, wasn’t he?

“Hi! Thanks for letting me use the shower.”

“Um. Sure.” He sniffed and wiped a hand down his face. “Listen. We’d better sit down.”

“Oh?”

I followed him to the living room.

“Is something the matter? I mean, aside from me nearly freezing to death and occupying your home.”

The corner of his mouth lifted in an almost smile. “Aside from that.”

I sat on the chaise I’d slept on, and he sank onto the sofa. The sturdy piece of furniture groaned under his weight.

“There’s a guy nosing around Beauville. I’m not sure who he is, but it occurred to me he might be looking for you.”

A chill ran down my spine. I knew this would happen. Of course Damian was looking for me. The giddy feeling from just a minute ago evaporated, and my chest constricted. I was about to freak out in three, two, one…

“He’s got a black sedan and a long dark coat. Expensive clothes. Bleach-blond hair sleeked back. Rings any bell?”

“That’s Damian.” I focused on my breathing. Slow. Slow. I stared at Barclay’s chest as it rose and fell, trying to match the rhythm. I wasn’t going back, no way.

But Damian would find me here, drag me to the car, and drive me home to my father.

“Hey, Calvin. Look at me.”

I’m not going back. I’m not going back. No way. No!

“Calvin!”

My eyes flew open. Barclay crouched on the carpet in front of me, gazing into my eyes.

“You forgot to breathe.”

His shoulders lifted, and I inhaled with him. A powerful waft of his scent permeated my lungs, and his warm hands rubbed my shoulders.

“He doesn’t know you’re here, and even if he finds out, he will have to get through me first.”

Big brown eyes, warm but intense. Bushy eyebrows frowning. He had long black lashes and specks of gold in his irises.

Barclay had beautiful eyes, and they were staring right into my head.

“That’s it. Breathe.”

I liked his voice too. The rumble felt almost like a touch.

Another calming breath. And another. My heartbeat was slowing down already. The nausea disappeared as fast as it had come.

I was getting better, wasn’t I? Normally, it would take me hours to recover from one of my freakouts, yet my head was clearing up already. How was that possible?

Damian was in town, but he didn’t know about me staying here. Barclay said he’d help me, and I knew he would.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

His brown eyes flashed with gold. “Why the fuck are you apologizing, huh?”

I snorted at his outraged tone. “Force of habit?”

Barclay shook his head. He dropped his arms, and I missed his touch. My shoulders felt chilly without his big paws on them.

“He doesn’t know I’m here?”

“No. But he’s asking around town, so we have to be careful.”

“Okay.”

Tilting his head to the side, Barclay observed me with unnerving intensity. Like a doctor checking a patient. Then he narrowed his beautiful eyes. “That Damian. He’s a nasty fucker, isn’t he?”

I couldn’t help it, I laughed. It sounded broken. “I should call Laure.”

“Your friend? The one who can help?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Should I give you some privacy?”

He wasn’t leaving again, was he? “But… don’t go far.”

“I’ll be in the kitchen.” He gave me the tiniest smile and a nod.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah.”

Barclay stood and walked away. I stared after him, dazed. Did that just happen? All I had to do was inhale his scent and look into his eyes, and all my symptoms vanished with a poof. Was he some kind of hypnotist? A wizard?

But I couldn’t think about that now. I would only start questioning myself and head back into panic mode. I had to get hold of Laure.

First, I deleted twenty-seven missed calls from my father. Miraculously, my fingers were steady. Then I messaged him.

Me: I’m well. Damian is looking for me, but I don’t want to see him. The relationship is over.

Father: Call me now.

Me: I need time for myself. I’m safe, but I won’t be picking up any calls.

Father: I’m blocking your cards unless you call me immediately.

Me: Then block them.

I’d left my wallet in the car anyway. My stomach protested, but I was determined now. I was not going back. I wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes.

I quickly went into my settings and blocked both Damian and my father from contacting me.

Then I called Laure.

It took a few tries, but with my friend, one just had to keep calling. After a few minutes, he called me back.

“Hi, Laure.”

“Calvin! What’s the emergency?” Laure’s world-famous bright voice chimed into the phone.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry. I just needed to get hold of you.”

“Hey, I get it. It’s me who’s lousy at staying in touch.”

“You’re busy.”

“Not now, I’m not. Where are you? What’s up?”

“I’m in the mountains, a place called Beauville.”

“Yeah? Did Damian finally take you on a decent vacay?”

“No. I’m by myself.”

Laure’s tone dropped. “What’s going on?”

“I broke up with him.”

“Hallelujah!” His loud cry made me pull my phone away from my head. “I need a fist to bump. Wow. Sorry. Erm. Are you… okay?”

I was still tense from the exchange with my father, but Laure’s outburst made me grin. “I am now. I made the mistake of telling him in the car. He got livid. He stopped in the middle of nowhere and told me to get out. So I did. It was dark and snowing, but I didn’t want to stay on the highway because then he’d just come back for me. I found a town on the map on my phone and hiked through the forest. A local guy on a four-wheeler spotted me, and I’m at his place now.”

No need for Laure to know about me almost freezing to death. He’d have a fit.

“Rewind for a bit. Did Damian leave you alone by the roadside in the mountains? At night? While it was snowing?”

Oops. He might have a fit anyway.

“I’m pretty sure he made a U-turn after a few minutes and went back for me, assuming I’d be properly humbled.”

“But he didn’t find you.”

“Nope.”

“Damn. I didn’t expect that. I mean, from him, I expect just about any shitty thing imaginable, but I didn’t think you’d leave.”

“I’m sorry I never listened to you. You had been trying to warn me for weeks. You were right all along.”

“I get it, Cal. It didn’t help that your dad was singing his praises. But yay! I’m so happy you broke up with him. I’m proud of you, man!”

“Damian is a manipulative, egotistical piece of trash.” That felt nice saying out loud.

Laure let out a surprised chuckle. “Yeah, he is. Go, Calvin.”

“Thanks for not giving up on me.”

“Never, Cal. Love you like a brother. Anyway. I’ll send someone to pick you up and give you a ride to the city.”

I braced myself. The next part would be difficult to explain. “I can’t go home now. Father will be on Damian’s side, and if I tell him I’m never marrying Damian, he’ll claim it’s just my anxiety talking. But I’m okay. Never been better. Only the thought of going back to the city and facing them… I can’t, Laure. I’ll break down, and they’ll send me to a psych ward. I can’t go back.”

“Then you’ll stay at my place.”

“Damian will look for me there.”

“Let him try. My security will call the police on him if he trespasses.”

It was crystal clear in my head, but how to explain it to my friend? “Laure, listen, I can’t go back to the city. Ever since I decided to break up with Damian, I’ve been feeling better and better. It’ll all fall apart if I go back. I can’t. I need a break and time to put myself together before I can face any of them.”

Laure was quiet for a moment, then he hummed thoughtfully. “How about I come and get you?”

“You’re on tour!”

“I have a gig tomorrow and one more two days after that, then ten days off. Today, I’ll send someone to keep an eye on you. A bodyguard. On Sunday, I’ll come and get you. We’ll figure it out, okay? Is there a hotel in town where you can wait for me?”

“You don’t have to send anyone. I’m safe here.” I hoped Barclay would let me stay for a few days.

“With a stranger? How is that safer than a hotel?”

“Look, under normal circumstances, I would be hyperventilating right now. And I’m not. I’m not entirely sure why, but I feel fine around Barclay.”

“You’re not making much sense, Cal.”

“I’m a nervous wreck on the best day, right? Well, not around him. He’s safe. I can feel it. He looks scary, but he’s nice. Besides, he could have hurt me ten times over already if he wanted to.”

“Do you have your meds?”

“No.”

“Cal…”

“I feel fine. I really do. As long as I stay here, I’m safe. But just the thought of leaving here and going back to the city makes me nauseous.”

Laure sighed. “I’m sending a bodyguard.”

“Don’t. I’ll wait for you here. It’s just a few days.”

“Can I talk to the dude?”

I glanced in the direction of the kitchen. I did find grumpy Barclay extraordinarily safe, but I couldn’t see him sounding reassuring to Laure. “That would be weird.”

“If you don’t let me talk to him, I’m sending a rescue party. Your choice.”

Shit .

“I’ll call you back.”

“You have ten minutes.”

I sighed and shuffled to the kitchen. Barclay was heating something in a pot on the stove. For the umpteenth time, it hit me how huge he was. The roomy kitchen looked like a doll house around him.

He glanced up when I entered. “How did it go?”

“My friend, Laurel, he’s worried about me. He’ll pick me up in three or four days because he can’t come earlier.”

Barclay frowned. “You can stay here until he comes. It’s not like I don’t have enough space.”

“Thank you. I was hoping I could stay with you. Laure wants to send his people to keep an eye on me.”

“Why? If your ex appears, the entire town has my back. Tell your friend not to send anyone.”

“Um. He doesn’t… He doesn’t trust my judgment.”

Barclay raised his eyebrows as he wiped his hands on a kitchen towel.

“That’s not nice of him,” he stated, his expression stony. He folded his beefy arms across his chest, and his pecs bulged. He was a freaking beast. Um. I shouldn’t stare at him like this.

I needed to explain. Hopefully, Barclay wouldn’t think I was crazy.

“Laure means well. See, I have these attacks, and they can get really bad. Like a while ago? They start like that, like I can’t breathe. But they can get worse. Much worse. Sometimes… often… I need help. Medication, calming exercises, someone to look after me. Laure makes me feel safe, but he’s busy. He has concerts and travels a lot…”

“You mean Laurel… Riley? The Laurel Riley?” Barclay whistled.

“Yes, but that’s beside the point. He worries about me. He says he wants to talk to you, or he’ll send a rescue party to come get me.”

“And you don’t want that to happen.”

“Too many people. Strangers. I’d rather wait here with you if that’s okay. I feel calm here. I haven’t been anxious at all, not until you said you saw Damian in town. And even then, I calmed down quickly…” God, I was inviting myself into this man’s home. But he’d already said I could stay. “I can pay you.”

Barclay snorted at the mention of money, then jerked his chin to the phone in my hand. “Call Mr. Riley, and I’ll talk to him.”

“Thank you.”

He watched as I fumbled with my phone until I found Laure in my recent contacts. This time, he picked up immediately.

“Yeah?”

“Laure, Barclay says you can talk to him.”

“Good. Give him to me.”

I handed the phone to Barclay who put it to his ear.

“Hello, Mr. Riley. Great pleasure. Uh-huh.” And he winked at me. I was stunned by that little wink. As if dark stormy clouds broke apart for a second and a ray of sunlight made it through. Then Barclay frowned again and began pacing. “I’m aware. Calvin explained it to me.” A pause. “He can stay in my guest room. If he goes to a hotel or the B&B in town, they can find him… Yes. Exactly… I understand. I do. I would be worried as well… No. Not at all… You have people working for you, right? Security and PR, assistants, and all that circus. How about I send you a copy of my ID, and you have someone run a background check?” I stared at Barclay with my mouth gaping. He would do that for me? “I understand. Yes. I’ll do that. Thank you, Mr. Riley. Have a nice day.”

Then he handed the phone back to me.

“You don’t have to do a background check on Barclay,” I told Laure. Barclay just shrugged and turned back to the stove.

“But since he so kindly offered, I will,” Laure said. “Watch out for red flags, okay? I won’t always be able to pick up my phone, but I’ll send you the number of my chief of security. He’ll answer anytime, okay? Day or night.”

“Thank you, Laure.”

“I’ll see you in three days.”

“See you.”

I ended the call. Barclay stirred something in the pot and turned the burner off. Then he gave me a look so morose it almost made me laugh.

“You’re not a vegetarian or something, are you?”

“I eat everything. I’m mildly allergic to strawberries, but that’s it.”

He nodded to himself and gestured to the kitchen table. “Sit.”

The grumpy teddy bear was back, but I was starting to like him.