Feathers and Thorne Series Books 1 - 3: The Complete Collection

Chapter Sixteen

Isabella

I lie in the shower, the warm water drenching me endlessly. It’s nearly impossible not to feel guilty for what happened, and I know I should have done things differently. But now I feel like a dog in the pound. Carter’s going to find out from Tristan, and he’s going to be furious with me. Then there’s that wretched woman who took photos.

I don’t understand it, but I know it’s not good for me. In fact, it feels personal, but that’s what I deserve for being in love with the ex-mayor-in-running for the city. He told me countless times that the cameras would be on us, and if he won the election, it would be our new normal, but this doesn’t feel normal.

It feels like the world is slowly cracking under my feet, and there’s nowhere else to run.

I glance up, catching a shadowy silhouette in the doorway. I don’t need to look closer to know that it’s Carter. I can tell by his lean stance, his hands hidden in his pockets, and the strict flat line of his lips that he constantly displays when he’s not happy about something…anything. It almost makes him look like he’s always mad, which isn’t too far from the truth, but it’s not what I’m used to.

I like the dominant, protective man who would burn the world down for me.

This man is similar. He holds a match and all the spite possibly necessary to bring the world to its knees, but I’m included in that. I’m no one to him in this version, and I bow to the entity above me, just hoping they don’t flick me with a flame in their mission to create fire.

I’m kindling in his world of heat, and I’m not helping calm things down in the slightest.

Slowly, I watch him get undressed, dropping an article of clothing with every step. He comes forward purposefully and starkly naked, standing in the hot water with me curled on the floor before him. I have to prepare myself for punishment, an explanation, and sex, which always comes with a mix of pain and pleasure.

Instead, he kneels under the spray of the shower and sits on the cold tile beside me. I don’t look at him; I only feel his arm snake behind my back and yank me sideways. I’m perfectly placed under his arm now, all comfy, without a hint of ill intent in his touch.

My ass is thankful for this temporary mercy.

“Did Tristan tell you?”

He nods slowly, staring into the darkness of the bathroom. I didn’t turn on any lights. The shower is mounted with an LED strip that casts blue hues over both of us, but it doesn’t offer much light in the grand scheme. Even with the shadows eating his features alive, he still holds the flat line of his lips. It’s not a grin, and it’s certainly not a frown.

It’s contentment. It’s not like Carter.

“What did he say?”

“He told me everything, dove. Everything. Besides that, there was…” He stops himself short, the words muttering out of him too fast for him to control, I guess. When he does speak again, he says it slowly and carefully, like he’s tiptoeing around something else. “There’s an article online about it. A few pictures.”

I swallow those words carefully. “The ones from today? How is that possible? It just happened a few hours ago.”

“It was enough time for someone to throw together a stupid smear campaign against you.”

My stomach drops. I’ve heard that phrase before and recently, but not from Carter.

“Lilian.”

This time, Carter perks upright. “What did you just say?”

“I said Lilian,” I repeat. “At the hospital, she told me there was a smear campaign against you.”

He’s silent for a long minute. I don’t blame him, either. What is there to say about that woman? He could tell me the truth, something already telling me that he’s been involved with her in the past, but that’s as much as I can assume at this point.

And I don’t want to assume, but he leaves me such little choice in the matter.

“Please, Carter. Just be honest with me.”

“Honest about what, dove?”

“Everything.”

He shakes his head, unwilling to budge on some things. “I can’t tell you everything. There is nothing to say, Bella. I’m sorry this happened today, and I need to talk to Tristan and Lorenzo more about handling these issues in the future, but it doesn’t excuse you.”

I let my head fall further.

“Dove, why were you out with Rich Donahue?”

Running my hands up and down my wet legs, I try to settle my nerves for now. Punishment is on the horizon, and I know I can’t avoid it. Still, I want to lessen the severity of it if possible.

I’m not sure if it’s possible, but I can hope.

“I was waiting for Sam. I called last night, practically this morning, and Tristan picked up the phone. I asked if he would tell Sam I’d like to meet with her for coffee, and he said he would tell her. I went after you left for work, but she never showed up.”

His hand on my side tenses slightly, squeezing my hip in his long fingers. “Go on.”

“Rich showed up, and he just sat down to talk, Carter. He could tell I was upset, so I talked to him a little bit. It wasn’t anything serious, I swear, but it was personal. He just seemed like he would listen to me, and I needed that so badly because—”

“Because I don’t listen to you?” he bites off.

I shrink in size, feeling that I’ve angered him even more. I didn’t mean for this to happen, and it’s not to say that Carter doesn’t hear me, but sometimes I need someone else to hear me, not just the man who loves me and says he listens. He listens to everyone else, too, and sometimes it overshadows what I have to say.

With the election failure, the family drama, and the tension between the two of us, I know I’m making it worse by pointing out the obvious; at least, I thought it was obvious to him, too.

“You’ve been so wrapped up with everything lately that I just needed someone to—”

“What did you tell him, dove?”

“Nothing too personal, Carter. We talked about Sam, about the Lacey family.”

He nods like it’s appeasing the anger inside him, but his lips have started falling into a deep frown, one that I won’t be able to bring back up into a grin anytime soon.

“Please, Carter. Trust me for once.”

“I do. It’s him I don’t trust, dove. I want to make things right, for argument”s sake, because the Lacey trouble was woven through the city and stirred up far too much attention for the family. But that’s not to say I trust this guy. I don’t. He’s still a Lacey, no matter what he claims. And having you around him, alone, it’s like you’ve learned nothing, Bella.”

“Learned? What the hell was I supposed to learn, Carter?”

I shouldn’t raise my temper here, but it’s only natural since I feel I’m under attack for not doing anything.

The thought of him telling me that I should have learned something after what Jacob Lacey did is a little bit hypocritical, and I won’t stand for it.

He brought half of that trouble onto me, and I won’t be blamed for the war that preceded it.

I shove his arm off my shoulder and stand at once. Storming out of the shower is my attempt, but I don’t make it to the glass door, a set of very hungry hands finding my hips. Carter moves me like a rag doll, lifting my feet off the floor and pinning my back to the wall just under the blue lights and the hot water. I choke on the heat from both the shower and his touch.

It’s a lot to handle at once.

He stands against me, naked and fuming, his hands squeezed into my sides without an inch of mercy. I can’t help but suffocate from the pressure, from the intensity, and I can hardly inhale through the proximity of his lips against mine.

We’re not kissing, though, he’s just…

Breathing.

“You want to walk away from me, dove? Just like that. You act like I don’t listen, but you don’t talk, Bella. You keep shit from me, from the man you claim to love, and then you tell me that some Donahue-Lacey fucker is a better listener?”

“I never said that, Carter.”

“You might as well have.”

He stands straighter and taller, but his pressure-heavy position against me hasn’t changed at all. Looking down the bridge of his nose, his frown is nothing but a gritted expression, full of spite and ire that can’t be tamed. I don’t attempt to, either. It would only set him off more.

If that’s possible right now.

“You are mine, Isabella. Right?”

I swallow my hesitation and nod. “Of course, Carter. I love you.”

“And you want me forever, don’t you?”

“More than anything.”

“So why do you make these careless remarks and think I won’t be jealous? You think you can parade around with the brother of my enemy, and I won’t find out about it? The election may be over, but this is my city, dove. If I want to burn this city down, I will.”

“I know that,” I say sadly. “Everyone knows that, Carter.”

“And you? What would you do, Isabella, if I took this city and flipped it inside out? Would you listen to me then? Would you see the monsters I’m trying to obliterate from your eyes, or would you still trust that there’s nothing wrong if that’s what I told you?”

My brows pinch. “Are there monsters I don’t know about?”

“More than you could ever fucking imagine. I promised to protect you from them, but if you think the lesson you should have learned before isn’t something that matters, then I will show you the repercussions of what can happen to you.”

I stare up at the shell of a man I thought I loved.

He’s not the same man right now, and it’s terrifying to see.

“What are you talking about?”

“Meet me in my office down the hall in five minutes, Isabella. I’ll show you who you can trust and who you should never believe is just being kind enough to lend an ear.”

He walks away from me quickly, and I have to stand straight against the wall to catch my breath. He’s naked still as he stalks into the bedroom, and I wonder briefly if he’s going to grab a towel or get dressed, but it doesn’t matter. I flip off the shower and hurry after him, naked and vulnerable.

I trust Carter more than I trust myself at times, but the thought of him exposing monsters does frighten me.

What is he talking about?

What have I sparked in the man I love to feel this passionately angry with me, a man who doesn’t yell, get his belt, and spank my ass before sending my body into wonderful waves of pleasure? No, this man is different.

He’s dangerously reserved, and I have a feeling that’s my fault.

Lesson learned.