Feathers and Thorne Series Books 1 - 3: The Complete Collection

Chapter Twenty-One

Isabella

I stir awake and pry one eye open. Carter’s face swims in and out of focus, so I frown and stretch my arms up over my head. When I’m done, I use both hands to rub my eyes and realize two things at once.

The first is that there’s a tray of food on the nightstand next to me.

And the second is that Carter is at eye level with my stomach, a peculiar expression on his face.

Slowly, I blink, but when the image doesn’t change, I run a hand through Carter’s hair. He looks up at me and gives me a slow smile, the kind that makes me grateful I’m flat on my back and not on my feet. Then he takes my hand in his and gives it a firm squeeze.

I have no idea what time it is, and I don’t remember getting into my clothes, but I do know one thing. Every single part of my body is sore, and I can smell Carter’s musky scent on my skin.

With a smile, I glance down at my body and back up at the ceiling, a sigh passing through my lips. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of movement and turn to it, realizing that Carter left one part of the window open, allowing the curtain to flap with the wind. The whole room is bathed in a warm, buttery glow, and for the first time since claiming this room as my own, it doesn’t feel like a waiting room anymore, a state of in-between.

Instead, it feels like a space full of possibility and hope. Like Carter and I are.

He presses a kiss to my stomach and props himself up on his elbows. “You were asleep for a while.”

I stifle another yawn. “You wore me out.”

Carter gives me a wicked smile. “I don’t remember you complaining, dove. Not the first time or the second, and definitely not the fourth time.”

I blush and wave his comment away. “We’re not counting how many times.”

Carter nuzzles my neck, his hot breath dancing across my skin. “Why not?”

“Because I… because we…” I struggle to form a sentence as Carter drapes one arm over my stomach and uses the other to twist my nipples. “I can’t think when you do that.”

“Who said you’re meant to be thinking, dove?” Carter leans back and gives me another suggestive look. His eyes trail over my body, leaving a trail of heat in his wake. Then his hands move to my sweatpants, wasting no time in pulling them down. When he throws them over his shoulders, he reaches for my shirt next, giving it a dismissive look as it flies over his shoulder with a flutter.

When I’m in a thin tank top, I shiver and resist the urge to cross my arms over my chest.

“I’ll warm you right up, dove,” Carter whispers into my skin. He uses the tips of his fingers to trace the inside of my thighs, deftly avoiding my center. Slowly, languidly, he circles back up and plunges one finger inside me.

I cry out, but Carter uses his free hand to pin me to the mattress. He pushes another finger in, and another powerful jolt of electricity jolts through me.

How is it that I still haven’t had enough?

After spending hours reacquainting myself with his body and losing myself in him, I expected to be spent, to be all filled up on Carter.

But the lower thrumming in my stomach suggests otherwise, and when my pulse quickens as Carter lowers himself so he’s at eye level with my center, I know I’m nowhere near being satisfied. He moves his tongue back and forth, pushing me closer and closer to the edge while I bite down on my bottom lip… hard.

I want to shout his name at the top of my lungs. I want him to keep pushing and testing me.

“Nobody else is here, dove.” Carter’s expression is thick with desire as he glances up at me and licks his lips. “You can be as loud as you want.”

I throw my head back against the pillow and arch my back. “Oh, Carter.”

“Tell me,” Carter urges in a strange voice. “Tell me what you want, dove.”

“I want you.” I breathe, something warm and pleasant unfurling in my chest and in my stomach. “I want this.”

Carter digs his nails into my waist. “That’s it, dove. Everything you’re feeling is not even a fraction of what I’ve felt since we’ve been apart. The world doesn’t make any fucking sense without you. Nothing does.”

He removes his tongue abruptly, and I whimper.

As soon as I glance down at him and realize Carter is positioned at my entrance, my heart misses a beat. I link my feet over his hips as he thrusts into me in one long and practiced stroke. I rake my fingers over his back hard enough to draw blood, and Carter hisses, but he doesn’t stop me. Nor does he pin my arms up over my head.

For the first time in a long time, Carter is looking directly at me, and I get the feeling that he’s seeing right to my soul.

I’m exposed and vulnerable without my defenses, but with the way Carter is looking at me, I don’t care.

He holds my gaze as he eases in and out of me, allowing wave after wave of desire to build up within me. I cry out when the force of my orgasm rips through me, leaving me trembling. Carter lowers his head and takes one nipple between his teeth. He sucks and bites, and when he moves onto the other nipple, I only see him.

I only feel and taste him. And I know this is how it should be between us… invincible and limitless.

Another orgasm races through me, smaller than the last but just as powerful. By the time I climb back down from my release, Carter is moving differently. He gives a few more quick thrusts, and all too quickly, he empties himself into me. I bring my head to rest against his chest, over the thundering of his heart, and try to remember how to breathe. Little by little, as my body erupts into tingles, Carter eases out of me and stands up.

In a daze, I watch as he helps me put some of my clothes back on. Then he wanders over to the window and pulls it shut with a thud. Once he spins around to face me, I offer him a tired smile. His face is giving very little away as he picks up the tray and perches on the edge of the bed. I prop myself up on my elbows and lean forward to steal the piece of cheese in his hand.

“Anita said your appetite has been changing.” Carter picks up the fork, cuts into the omelet, and holds a piece up to me. “Have you been taking your vitamins?”

I chew on the rich and flavorful cheese and pepper creation. “Yes, and the doctor comes in for my checkups.”

Carter frowns. “Why haven’t you been going to the clinic? He’s better equipped there.”

I shrug and take another bite of the food. “I haven’t felt up to it. When you left, it took me a while to be able to leave this room.”

Once the words leave my mouth, I wonder if I’ve said too much. I’m not trying to make Carter feel guilty about what he did, but I don’t want to lie to him, either. And I know that Tristan and Anita were keeping him informed of my condition because he doesn’t look surprised to hear the news.

If anything, he looks frustrated.

“You can’t ever let it get to that point again, dove,” Carter says, pausing to tear up the toast into little pieces. “You need to take better care of yourself.”

I search his face. “I feel like that’s a moot point since we’re never going to be in that position again, are we?”

Carter sets the tray back down on the nightstand and stands up. “No, we won’t. I meant what I said last night, dove. I know it’s going to take time for you to trust me again and for me to prove to you that I am trying to change, but I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

I look up at him and smile. “For now, there’s only one thing I want you to do.”

Carter nods solemnly. “Anything.”

I pat the spot next to me on the bed.

Carter looks relieved as he climbs back onto the bed and draws the covers up to my chin. “I have no idea how I fucking ended up with someone like you, but I don’t deserve you.”

I place a hand over his chest. “You deserve to be happy, Carter. We both do.”

Carter releases a harsh breath. “What I said about the implant and all those fights I picked about Sam—”

I press a finger to his lips. “I know.”

I don’t want to talk about the past anymore, not if it means looking back. In order to move forward, we have to keep moving, and we have to keep doing better.

Carter kisses my fingers one by one until he twists his head to face me completely. “Anita sent me a picture of the last sonogram.”

I give him a half-smile. “I wanted you to be here when I found out the sex of the baby. I’m sorry I didn’t wait…”

Carter clears his throat. “It’s okay… I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“What about the Natoris and Philipses?”

Carter’s expression tightens. “I will figure that out, and I promise I’ll do my best to do it in the least violent way possible. As long as I have a fucking choice… it won’t always go the way I want it to.”

“As long as you’re trying, that’s all I ask,” I offer in a soft voice. “Carter, I know that it’s not going to happen overnight. This is who you’ve been for years and who you’ve had to be in order to build an empire. I’m not saying you have to ignore that completely. Things don’t always have to be the same, right?”

Carter nods. “Right.”

I make a vague hand gesture to indicate my stomach. “Once this baby girl comes, we’re going to have a lot more change coming, and I want us to be able to face it together.”

Carter glances at my stomach and then back up at my face. “We will.”

“You’re not always going to be able to control things,” I add, my eyes moving steadily over his face. “Are you going to be okay with it?”

Carter places a free hand over his face and presses two fingers to his temples. “Fuck no, but it doesn’t mean I won’t try.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. “Good because there’s a lot we need to catch up on.”

Carter raises an eyebrow. “Catch up on?”

“Yes, we need to talk about baby names, schools, what kind of classes she’s going to be enrolled in.”

Carter presses a kiss to the side of my neck. “Doesn’t all that come after the baby is born?”

“It can, but I want to be sure we’re on the same page.”

Carter stirs and moves away from me. He pulls on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, then holds his hand out to me. Together, we sneak out of the room and into the brightly lit hallway. The house is quiet, so quiet in fact that I wonder what Carter has done to everyone else because there’s usually always someone here.

“Anita is out grocery shopping. She wants to host this dinner to celebrate my return,” Carter explains with a shake of his head. “Obviously, she wouldn’t listen to me when I told her it wasn’t necessary. Tristan and Sam are back at our house.”

I follow Carter into the kitchen and pull a chair up to the counter. “You don’t want to go back there?”

Carter swings the refrigerator door open and peers inside. “If you want to go back, I can make arrangements.”

Except I’m not sure I want to. That house represents a period of our life I don’t like and one I don’t think about.

I know that Carter and I can’t stay at Anita’s forever, but for now, I like being in our bubble. And I want to keep looking forward.

“Do you think Anita will mind if we keep staying here?”

Carter glances at me over his shoulder and offers me an incredulous look. “Are you kidding? She’s loved having you around. It seems like the two of us are going to have to learn how to share. I practically forced her out of the house this morning.”

I giggle. “She and I bonded when you were gone. You’re so lucky to have her, Carter.”

He blinks and turns his gaze back to the fridge. After pulling out a few containers, he carries them over to the counter. Slowly, he sets out one by one till they’re covering every space. Then he grips the sink, leans forward, and releases a deep, even breath.

“I know how lucky I am to have her,” Carter replies without looking at me. “And everyone else in the family who still hasn’t given up on me.”

“I’m sorry.”

Carter pries a lid open and sniffs the lasagna eagerly. “It’s not your fault, dove. It’s not like you engineered any of this.”

I frown and drape an arm over my stomach. “No, but if you hadn’t been preoccupied with me and the baby…”

Carter pauses to take out two plates. “It would’ve been something else. They’ve been wanting an excuse to boot me out for a while.”

I link my fingers together and lean over the counter as if I can make the space between us vanish. “What are you going to do?”

“What I do best, dove.” Carter flashes me a disarming smile. “I don’t want you to worry about anything, not the baby, not the future, and not your online job.”

I give him a surprised look. “So, you’re not going to make me quit?”

Carter grimaces. “I’m not thrilled about it, but I’m trying to give you some space and wriggle room.”

“I appreciate that.”

Especially because I know how difficult this must be for him.

Still, while Carter moves around the kitchen, setting a generous amount of food on both plates, it feels like I’m falling for him even more. This is the first time in a long time that he and I are doing something normal together, and it makes me wonder if I have many years of routine to look forward to. As I stir the food around my plate and sneak glances at him, I’m relieved to see how comfortable Carter is.

As if he’s born to wander around a kitchen barefoot and with nothing pressing to attend to.

When the phone rings, the illusion is shattered, and I come crashing back down to earth. Carter ducks into the dining room, and I twist in my seat, catching glimpses of him as he paces back and forth. A short while later, I hear him curse, and I hear a thudding sound. Then Carter reappears, his expression tight and some of the earlier ease from earlier gone.

Am I always going to play second fiddle to his life? Am I always going to be fighting to have parts of him that remain untouched by the darkness? By the chaos and violence of the life he’s chosen for himself?

Carter presses a kiss to my forehead. “Why don’t you finish eating and get dressed?”

I straighten. “Why?”

“I want to take you shopping for clothes,” Carter replies, his eyes trailing over me. “You can pull off anything, dove, but I’m sure we can upgrade your wardrobe and include a few sexy pieces for my benefit.”

I sputter, and my face feels hot. “Carter, I’m bigger now. I can’t wear lingerie anymore. At least not until I get my figure back.”

Carter snorts. “I like you better like this, dove. There’s more of you to love and fuck. And yes, we are going to get you some lingerie. There’s plenty of lingerie for expecting mothers.”

I give him a weak smile. “You’ve done your research.”

“You shouldn’t expect anything less, dove.” Carter sets me down on my feet and gives my ass a light slap. Then he ushers me in the direction of the guest room and doesn’t leave until I hurry out of my clothes and step into the shower. To my disappointment, he doesn’t join me in the shower, and I’m left running the bar of soap over my own skin.

Carter returns when I’m washing the soap off. He presses me to him, buries his face in my neck, and doesn’t say anything for a while.

The door he left open is letting in a cold draft, but between Carter’s body heat and the hot water cascading down my shoulders and back, it feels like I’m going to turn into a puddle at his feet. Especially when Carter presses me against the wall and rubs himself against me.

A whimper falls from my lips when Carter lifts my arm up on either side of me and tugs on my earlobe. “Relax and enjoy yourself, dove.”

I sigh, lean into him, and squeeze my eyes shut. Whatever else happens, we have this moment.

And it’s damn good to have Carter back.