Festive Faking (Rust Canyon #1)

22. Mac

Chapter 22

Mac

We’d spent most of the day fucking and talking in between, but our time was running out. Soon, we were due to meet up with her family, and I worried that Aspen would tighten up once we left the cabin and that the pressure to put on a show would overshadow what we’d shared these past twenty-four hours.

I didn’t know about her, but I didn’t want to “pretend” anymore.

Nothing had ever felt so right as having her tucked into my side—she just fit there. It brought me a peace like I’d never known. She calmed the storm in my mind, and I was able to take deep breaths for the first time in my life.

Her fingers lazily traced a pattern over my bare chest. “Can I ask you something?”

Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, I replied, “You can ask me anything.”

She shifted in my arms, peeking up with those brilliant blue eyes that were so beautiful my breath caught in my throat. Never in a million years would I have thought we’d find ourselves here, but I wouldn’t take for granted this chance I’d been given.

“Why did you donate so much to the Christmas charity drive?”

Closing my eyes, I raked a hand over the scruff lining my jaw. “You weren’t supposed to find out about that.”

I felt the loss of Aspen’s warmth immediately. When I dared to look at her, she’d put a few feet of space between us on the mattress, sitting on her knees, head cocked to the side.

“Why not?”

Of course she didn’t understand. How could she?

Down here, I was simply Mac, the guy Aspen Sullivan had brought home to meet her folks. I liked flying under the radar, pretending I was some Average Joe. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself, being painted the hero for doing what I could for a few families in need.

I held out my hand, needing the comfort of her touch to explain. Thankfully, she didn’t hesitate, sliding her smooth palm against mine and tangling our fingers together.

“Everyone applauds billionaires for being philanthropists, but if you get a peek behind the curtain, you’ll see how selfish it is. They get massive tax breaks for donating. And don’t forget about naming rights on buildings. There’s no quiet humility; they want everyone to know about their contributions.”

Aspen scooted closer, sensing my need to hold her as I prepared to bare my soul.

“I didn’t earn a single dime of this money. It’s mine simply by virtue of being born a Blaze. How is that any fair when so many out there are struggling to make ends meet? I didn’t get a choice in being rich, just like those kids I bought gifts for have no control over their parents’ financial situation.” I blew out a heavy breath. “I thought that maybe if I did something to bring them joy, to ease their burden, even if only for a brief time, it would alleviate some of my guilt over having so much when they have so little.”

She looped her arms around my waist, pressing her cheek flush to my chest, where I was sure she could hear my heart racing.

“Why keep it anonymous?” Her lips brushed my skin as she spoke.

Curling one arm around her back, I stroked down the length of her long hair with my hand. “Because I wanted to do something good for someone else. I didn’t want to taint it by having everyone focus on me. I don’t need the recognition. I’m content to know those kids are going to have an incredible Christmas and their parents are going to have a little extra cushion to get them through the winter.”

Hugging me tighter, Aspen was quiet for a beat. Then came, “Why do you hide this side of yourself?”

That was easy to answer. Going for broke, I said, “Truth. Because I’ve never felt safe enough to share it with anyone else before now.”

When the weight of that sank in, a sharp gasp sounded, but she didn’t say a word.

That was okay. I didn’t need a response; I just needed her to know where I stood, how she made me feel, and that I wanted to be a better person when she was around.

The church was lit by candlelight, giving it an almost romantic vibe for the Christmas Eve service. I sat in a pew with the Sullivans—Aspen by my side—soaking it all in.

My family wasn’t big on religion, so I didn’t find myself inside a church outside of attending the occasional wedding. And those were more about powerful families forging alliances that would make them both wealthier as a result. They weren’t about spirituality, and considering how few of the participants valued remaining faithful to their spouse, they weren’t about honoring the sanctity of marriage either.

But like everything else in Rust Canyon, this was about community and inclusion. The little ones were invited up to the front for a reading of the nativity. The candles in our hands had been lit one at a time, passing the flame from person to person, until the interior grew from darkness to light. The hymns were uplifting and joyous, sung loud and clear by all of those in attendance.

The collective warmth settled over my heart, and it felt like home.

When the service concluded, the main lights turned back on, and the congregation was dismissed, but no one went very far. Friends and neighbors mingled, lingering before returning to their homes to enjoy the holiday with their families.

Jett introduced me to a couple by the name of Maddie and Bryan Grant.

Recognition sparked, and without thinking, I asked, “Any relation to Tucker?”

Aspen stiffened by my side, but she remained silent.

Maddie noticed Aspen’s reaction, so she kept her smile muted. “Yes, he’s our son.”

Bryan was oblivious to the tension, chest expanding with pride as he boasted, “The town’s physician.”

Daisy took over the conversation. “Haven’t seen Evie at the bank in a while. Is everything all right with her these days?”

Since I was out of the loop, Maddie took the time to explain to me first, “That’s our daughter,” before replying to Daisy’s question. “She’s found herself back up in Indianapolis.”

“Oh!” Daisy’s shocked expression couldn’t be contained, and it piqued my curiosity.

“Indianapolis,” Aspen mused. “Isn’t that where—”

The smile on Maddie’s face grew brighter as she nodded. “She’s gone home to Jenner. Our girl is back where she belongs and about to become a mama.”

“Well, isn’t that wonderful!” Daisy gushed, clasping Maddie’s hands. “You must be thrilled to become grandparents.”

“It’s truly a blessing. One we’d almost given up hope on.”

They continued to chat, and my eyes scanned the open space, searching for one woman in particular. She’d promised to be in attendance, which I didn’t doubt given her involvement in the church, but I feared that she might’ve left before we got a chance to meet up.

Relief surged when I caught sight of her near the front; she was sharing a word with the minister.

Dipping my head, I spoke directly into Aspen’s ear. “I’ll be right back.”

I made it all of one step before she stopped me with a hand to my forearm. “Where are you going?”

Restroom , I mouthed, and she seemed to take my white lie at face value, turning back to the group.

Keeping one eye on Rose at the front, I worked my way toward her while sticking to the perimeter of the room, hoping to avoid being noticed by Aspen. Stopping a few feet from where she was gathering the discarded candles from the pews, I called out to her, mindful to keep my voice low. “Rose!”

Her head whipped up, and she stopped what she was doing to walk toward me with a warm smile. “Merry Christmas, Mac.”

“Merry Christmas.” I peeked over my shoulder quickly before asking, “Did you bring it?”

She took a moment to reach into her purse before pressing a familiar shape into my palm.

My fingers curled around it before tucking it into the pocket of my slacks. “I owe you one.”

Rose waved me off. “No, you don’t. That’s what we do down here; we help each other out.”

My chest tightened. This woman barely knew me, and she hadn’t hesitated when I’d called to ask for a favor while Aspen was in the shower. I was so used to quid pro quo that it almost knocked me on my ass to learn Rose had helped me out of the goodness of her heart.

After this experience, how was I expected to go back to the life I’d been living before? Surrounded by people who were only out for themselves, who would throw their own family under the bus if it meant survival or a leg up?

The thought of it had my throat closing up. That life was suffocating me, and I wanted out.

“Thank you, Rose,” I croaked out, voice hoarse.

She gripped my elbow, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Take care of her, you hear?”

With a heavy sigh, I replied honestly, “I’d love nothing more, but it’s up to her whether she’s willing to let me.”

Rose nodded like she understood. “I’ve known that girl since she was knee high. She might be stubborn, but she’s not foolish. Which is what she’d have to be to not see the good man standing before her.”

I dropped my gaze to the floor. It didn’t matter what Aspen and I had shared last night or today. There was still a chance she could walk away when we returned to LA. I wouldn’t blame her if she did. I wasn’t sure I could be the man she deserved if I had to go back to playing the part that was expected of me.

“Love is scary.”

My head whipped up at the words.

Rose’s eyes grew glassy, and her voice thickened. “It doesn’t come with a guarantee. Sometimes, it’s cut short, leaving you in so much pain that you’re left wondering if you were better off without it. But if you’re lucky, you have enough memories to remind you that it was worth it, and you’d do it all again, even if you knew how much it would hurt when it was gone.”

There was no question; Rose spoke from personal experience.

I’d often heard love described as a leap of faith—you jumped without knowledge of the outcome, praying for the best but knowing there was always a chance it would end in disaster.

The irony was that while Aspen had been busy guarding her heart, I’d had no hesitation in giving her mine.

Realization hit me hard that there wasn’t a choice. I was already falling for her. And it would leave me shattered if I didn’t get to keep her.

Determination pushed fear of losing her to the side. I became a man on a mission, the plan already forming in my mind.

Plain and simple, I wasn’t letting Aspen Sullivan go.