Festive Hearts And Kisses (Hope Valley Christmas 2)

2. Jerry

JERRY

This year I was on call over Christmas, so I have New Year’s off. I have no veterinary responsibilities so there’s absolutely no reason why I can’t roll over and ignore the annoying noise that just woke me up. Unfortunately, my body doesn’t know that and I’m instantly awake when my phone jumps to life, the ring tone obnoxiously loud in the relative quiet of my bedroom.

I say relative because there’s some weird snuffling and moaning coming from beside the bed where my dog is still dreaming.

Lucky her.

I groan as I reach for my phone that’s still merrily ringing away and see Sean’s name on the screen. That’s quickly followed by a huff of laughter at the photo that accompanies it. Sean despises it with a passion, but it never fails to amuse me. And he can threaten me with whatever he likes, I’m never changing it.

I answer because I just know he’s not going to go away.

His face fills the screen, his smile far too wide and bright for my liking. He’s shirtless, and it takes a moment longer to realise that he’s still in bed, and if I’m not mistaken, that’s Vic’s shoulder I can see next to him.

That would explain the grin.

“What?” I grumble, because as happy as I am that he and Vic sorted their shit out, does he really have to rub my nose in it?

Sean’s grin widens. “Good morning to you too!”

At the sound of his dad’s voice, Sean’s dog, Lucky , barrels into the bedroom and jumps onto the bed. “Oomph!” I grit my teeth as he lands a paw in my lap, narrowly missing my bollocks. Thank fuck my own animals are way too lazy to move until they hear me get out of bed.

“Hey, boy!” Sean coos, and Lucky’s tail swishes frantically back and forth.

When Lucky eventually settles down, I glare at Sean. “I take it you didn’t call me this early just to say hello to your dog?”

“I told him not to bother you,” Vic chimes in, although I still can’t see his face. “But he wouldn’t listen.”

“You’re lucky I don’t have company,” I mutter. The words are automatic, a running joke between us, because the idea of picking anyone up from the Charnwell Inn on New Year’s Eve is laughable. I’ve either been there, done that, or I’m not interested. Unfortunately, this time is a little different, but it doesn’t register until Sean’s eyebrows rise.

Fuck.

His face does something complicated, like he can’t decide whether to be shocked, amused, or disapproving. “ Do you have company?” he asks finally.

I debate fucking with him, but it’s too much effort. “No.”

He waits for me to elaborate, but I don’t. I stare back at him until he rolls his eyes and sighs.

“You’re going to make me ask, aren’t you?”

He’s talking about Reed.

I know it, and he knows I know it.

“I’m not making you do anything.” I smirk at his obvious frustration. But honestly, I’m not sure why I’m making this so difficult. Sean’s my best friend—I have no problem telling him everything going on in my life—but for some reason, this feels different.

I’m defensive, wary. Like I want to keep the details of my night with Reed to myself instead of sharing them.

Maybe I’m just tired and a little hungover.

This is Sean .

If anything, Reed is more his friend than he is mine. I only met him last night, for fuck’s sake.

With far more effort than it warrants, I force myself to relax. “What would you like to know?”

“Just if Reed was okay last night?” Guilt flashes in his eyes, and ahh . He feels bad for leaving him, which is Sean all over.

But he has no need to feel guilty. I was there, I heard Reed tell him to go, and at no point during the night did he seem like he regretted it.

I raise an eyebrow though, because if he wants to know that, then I’m not the one he needs to talk to. “Shouldn’t you be asking Reed this?”

He sighs. “I did. And he said he had a great night and that he was fine.”

A laugh bubbles out of me, and I shake my head. “Well, there you go.”

“Told you,” Vic mutters from beside him.

Sean scrubs a hand over his face. “I know. I just... I’ve never seen him like this before. This break-up’s really done a number on him.”

I want to ask. The words are on the tip of my tongue. Sean gave me a rough idea of what happened with Reed and his ex, but he didn’t go into detail.

Curiosity burns inside me, but I keep my mouth shut.

I doubt Sean would tell me the whole story even if I asked, but the only person I want to hear that from is Reed. If he ever decides he wants to share it. “I don’t know him like you do, but I spent pretty much all night with him, and he was okay.” I hope he can read the sincerity in my voice because I don’t want him to be stressing over this. Reed’s not the only one who’s struggled after a bad break-up. Sean did too. It might’ve been a few years ago now, but it had a big effect on him, and he deserves the happiness he and Vic have found.

Sean stares back at me, my words finally sinking in. I watch him accept what I’m telling him as the truth. But then his eyes narrow, and I wince, knowing what’s coming next. “So, you and Reed...?” He raises an eyebrow, and even Vic leans into the frame.

He deserves the eye roll I send him. They both do. “We’re friends. He’s a good guy, but we both know nothing was going to happen there.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Sean has the grace to look sheepish at even suggesting it after what he just told me, but I’m not sure I like the way Vic is studying me.

I ignore him and focus on Sean. “We swapped numbers, though. I think we could be good friends, but we’ll see how it goes.”

We end the call, and I collapse back onto the pillow.

Lucky noses at my fingers, and I run a hand through his fur. Talking to Sean made me think about Reed. I’m still holding my phone, and the urge to contact him makes my fingers twitch.

We made no plans to see each other after last night. I don’t even know when he’s heading back home. Fuck, for all I know he could’ve already left. I should’ve asked him. Should’ve asked if he wanted to do something today, even if it was only walking the dogs or coming round for breakfast.

You know why you didn’t.

I do.

I like Reed.

I could like him a whole lot more if I let myself. But he’s not interested in that, and I need a little time and distance to firmly put him in that friend box, because that kiss last night...?

Let’s just say if I see him today, I’ll be wanting a repeat, because I haven’t been kissed like that in a long while. My dick stirs just thinking about it.

Yep. It’s best for everyone if I don’t talk to Reed today.

Besides, I’m the one who suggested swapping numbers, and I gave him an open invitation to come back here any time he likes. The next move is his.

“Heard from Reed lately?” I try to sound casual, like I’m not bothered by the answer one way or another, but I’m not sure I succeed because I am bothered.

Sean eyes me over his pint, then deliberately takes a drink before setting his glass carefully on the bar. “I have.”

Oh.

“You?”

“No.” I shrug. “Apart from that one text letting me know he’d got back home safely.” And that was only after I caved and asked him when he was heading back home. He was already on his way when I sent it.

I’m not sure why it stings so much.

That Sean has heard from him and I haven’t.

They’re friends , I remind myself. You met him for one night. It felt like we had a connection. Something worth nurturing. I’ve learnt over the years that good friends are worth hanging on to, whether they live in the same village or further afield. I hoped me and Reed could be that, but maybe that was all alcohol and wishful thinking.

“Have you contacted him?” Sean asks, slouching back in his stool.

“No. Not after that last message.”

Today is Friday, February twenty-third.

One month and twenty-three days since our last text exchange.

Sean gets this look in his eye and I point a finger at him. “Don’t interfere. Reed’s obviously not interested in keeping in contact with me, and that’s absolutely fine. I don’t need you getting involved on my behalf.”

He holds his hands up. “I wasn’t going to. I just...” He shrugs. “He’s not happy, and I think he could use a friend who isn’t also his ex-boyfriend.”

“I thought you two were past all that?”

“We are, but we still have that past. And he’s clearly not entirely comfortable talking to me about it.”

I look at him, incredulous. “And you think he would be with me? I hardly know him. And he must have other friends besides you,” I add before he has a chance to say anything.

“It’s complicated. He and Karl work together, so they share a lot of the same friends.”

I wince. “They’ve taken sides?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think so, but it’s got to be awkward.”

“Yeah.” I trace the condensation on my glass, mulling over what he’s said.

When Sean nudges me with his foot, I glance up.

“You’re one of the best people I know, Jer.” His eyes tell me he means every word, that he’s being serious, so I listen instead of shrugging him off. “Reed needs someone in his corner. If it can’t be me, then maybe it could be you?”

“Don’t look at me like that.” Unlike Vic, I can say no to Sean, even when he flashes those big blue eyes at me. “Whether he needs a friend or not, Reed’s an adult. If he’s not interested in staying in touch with me, I’m not about to force him.” And the radio silence speaks volumes.

“Yeah, I know.” He runs a hand through his hair. “And I agree, but Reed’s not like us.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, if I had to guess, I’d put money on him not wanting to bother you. That’s why he’s not messaged you or anything.”

I snort, because that can’t be true. “I literally told him to keep in touch, that my door was always open to him.”

“But that was after you’d been drinking all night. He probably thinks it was either a spur-of-the-moment thing or alcohol talking.”

“I wasn’t that drunk.”

“I know, but his confidence took a hell of a knock after Karl, and I don’t think he trusts his judgement much at the minute.” Sean taps his fingers on the edge of the bar before meeting my eyes. “I know how that feels.”

Fuck.

His smile is small, but genuine. “But I had you to help put me back together after my bad break-up. I’m not sure Reed has anyone in his corner. And I don’t want to force you into anything either, but you seem to like him, so I’m just asking if you’ll give it another try, and then I promise I’ll let it go.”

I hate to think of anyone being in pain, but the thought of Reed hurting and having no one to lean on tugs at a place deep inside me I can’t ignore. A fact I’m pretty sure Sean knows.

I sigh, deep and heavy, and his eyes light up.

“You fucker,” I grumble, because even if his intentions are good, he’s still guilted me into this. “Fine. I’ll message him later.”

“Thank you.” He clutches my arm and gives it a squeeze.

“But...” It’s my turn to point a finger in his face. “If he’s not interested in reconnecting, then you’ll drop it?”

“Promise.”

It’s not late when I get home—we only stayed for a couple of drinks. My phone is burning a hole in my pocket now that Sean’s put the idea in my head. I want to reach out to Reed to see if he’s okay.

Even if he brushes me off, I need to try.

But when I open the door, I’m greeted with happy woofs and pissed-off meows, so Reed will have to wait.

At least until I’m not in danger of death-by-feline.

I look down at the two faces staring back at me. One just happy to see me, the other plotting my painful demise if I don’t get my arse in gear and feed her. I have a black lab, Jen, and a half-Bengal cat, Kyla. Guess who’s got murder in mind?

Yep.

Not the dog.

Animals fed, I settle on the sofa with a coffee, phone in hand.

But instead of typing out the message I was all for sending about half an hour ago, I hesitate.

It’s not that I don’t want to contact him, because I do. I really fucking do. But now that I’ve finally sat down to do it, I’m not sure what to say. I’m guessing Reed won’t be thrilled to know that Sean and I’ve been discussing him, even if it’s because Sean’s obviously worried about him.

The fact is I don’t know Reed, not really.

But I’d like to.

I open our message thread and stare at the screen. Fuck, I could sit here all night and still not come up with the perfect thing to say.

Start simple. You don’t need to go all in with the first message.

Okay.

Jerry : Pretty sure this radio silence is the opposite of what we said in our last conversation, Reed.

There. Light and teasing, nothing too heavy.

When my phone stays silent for the next couple of minutes, I realise I’ve been sat looking at it, waiting for Reed to reply. He could be out, asleep, in the shower, literally doing a hundred things that mean he hasn’t read it yet.

Or he’s read it and doesn’t want to reply.

Whatever it is, watching my phone all night isn’t how I want to spend my evening. I’m thirty-seven years old. Surely I’m past the point of checking for messages every five minutes?

To prove a point, even if it’s only to me, I put my phone face down on the coffee table and head to the kitchen to make dinner.

Turns out it’s harder than I thought it would be to leave it in there.

Before, I was disappointed that Reed hadn’t been in touch since he went home, but I’d kind of accepted it for what it was. Now, though, since I’ve made contact again, I really want him to reply.

Every time my phone vibrates with an incoming message, my pulse spikes, quickly followed by disappointment when it’s not Reed.

I’m at work at seven in the morning, so I head to bed early, Kyla and Jen traipsing up after me. I’m in the middle of cleaning my teeth when my phone chimes.

I have the same notification for every text message I get, but somehow I know this time it’s him.

It’s Reed.

I’m not proud of the way I practically throw my toothbrush on the bathroom counter and rush back into my bedroom. Jen isn’t all that impressed when I trip over her either, but I make it to my phone without injuring either of us, so I’m calling it a win.

I’ve got it set so only the name of the sender appears on my screen, the actual message is hidden.

Reed’s name sits there, teasing me, and my pulse races way too fast for a text message from a friend.

An almost friend.

I ignore all that and open Reed’s message.

Reed : Hey. Sorry about that. Things here have been kind of hectic lately. I guess I lost track of time.

Okaay.

I read it again, frowning, because it’s kind of a meh message, right? One that doesn’t invite a response. I give one though, because I told Sean I’d try.

Jerry: Fair enough. My offer still stands, if you ever want to talk.

Reed : Thanks.

Right. I guess I can take a hint. Not gonna lie, it stings a little, but I’m not going to push when he’s clearly not interested in continuing this conversation. At least not now, anyway.

I’m almost dropping off to sleep when my phone vibrates with a message. Then another immediately after it.

Despite telling myself to leave it until the morning, I’m already reaching for it, rubbing my eyes.

Reed’s name taunts me from the screen.

Again.

Curiosity flares as I swipe to read it.

Reed : I’m sorry.

Reed : I lied earlier. I didn’t lose track of time and things haven’t been hectic. In fact they’ve been the fucking opposite. Just a bit shit.

Even though it’s sometimes difficult to decipher tone in a text message, I don’t think there’s any mistaking the tone of this one.

Sean was right.

He’s not happy.

I know he’ll still be getting over his break-up, but I wonder if something else has happened.

Trouble is, I’m not sure if it’s my place to ask. Or if he’ll tell me if I do.

I can’t ignore those messages though. If he doesn’t want to talk, then he can tell me to mind my own business.

Jerry : It’s ok, Reed. You don’t have to explain, but I get the feeling you need to talk to someone. I’m here if you want to offload. No judgement, I promise.

I’m wide awake, which is going to come back to bite me in the morning, but I couldn’t sleep now even if I wanted to.

It seems to take an age before those three little dots appear, and even longer for his reply to come through.

Reed : Thank you. I think I’d like that, but maybe not tonight.

Jerry : That’s ok. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.

Reed : I’ve thought about messaging you a lot since New Year’s Eve, but I didn’t know what to say. Then the longer I left it, the more I thought you’d probably forgotten all about me.

I’d laugh if he didn’t sound so sad, but I go for a little light-hearted teasing anyway. I think the conversation needs it, especially just before we’re about to go to sleep.

Jerry : I didn’t forget you. You made quite an impression.

The memory of the kiss we shared is suddenly front and centre in my head, which really isn’t helpful right now. And not something I’m about to bring up.

Jerry : What with your lack of skill at both darts and pool.

There’s another pause, and I bite my lip, hoping I’ve not sent him running.

Reed : Pretty sure I didn’t lose every game, though. Right?

Jerry : Well . . .

Reed : Fuck.

Reed : I blame alcohol. And I demand a rematch.

Jerry : Any time.

Reed : Thank you. I might take you up on that.

Jerry : There’s no time limit on that offer. Same as the offer to talk. Whenever you’re ready.

Reed : I’ll keep that in mind. And at the risk of repeating myself, thank you for reaching out. I’ll do better about keeping in touch.

Jerry : No pressure.

Reed : I know. But I think you’re right. I could use someone to talk to. Someone who’s not here, and isn’t Sean.

Reed : Soon, ok?

Jerry : Ok. Night, Reed.

Reed : Night.