Festive Hearts And Kisses (Hope Valley Christmas 2)

5. Reed

REED

Reed : Are you going to Sean I get the picture. I’m not convinced that me and Vic are at the teasing stage yet, and I don’t want it to get awkward. “Maybe I should see if they’ve got any rooms available at the pub.” I know they have at least a couple that they rent out as guest rooms.

“Or...” Jerry hesitates, and I know what he’s about to offer. “You could stay with me.”

Even though I was expecting it, I’m still not prepared, and the silence stretches uncomfortably.

“Or not,” he adds with a huff of laughter. “I can ask Hailey for you?—”

“Sorry,” I mutter, so glad he can’t see how red my cheeks are right now. “You caught me off guard.”

“Really?” I can hear the laughter lingering in his voice. “I’ve been offering you my guest room since January. It can’t have been that much of a shock that I’ve offered it now.”

Well, when he puts it like that.

It’s just this is the first time the answer that popped into my head was yes . No doubts, no second-guessing. That’s the part that shocked me, not his offer. There are probably a hundred reasons why this might be a bad idea. I like Jerry, but I’m still not looking to start something with anyone new, and he’s too far away for it to ever work. Pretty sure distance was a factor for me and Sean, and I don’t want that to happen with Jerry.

We could just have sex, no strings, no expectations—fuck knows it’s been the longest time since someone else touched my cock—but I’ve never been good at that, and I don’t want to mess up our friendship. I like what we’ve got, and I don’t want to lose it because I got horny and desperate.

Of course, I’m getting way ahead of myself, because this is all assuming Jerry’s even interested in me like that anymore, which I doubt he is because he’s never even hinted at it over the past eight months or so. He’s probably just being nice.

I should still say no. Because knowing me, there’s a good chance I’ll embarrass myself and have to ignore him forever.

I should definitely say no.

Obviously my mouth and brain are not on the same wavelength because when I open my mouth, what pops out is, “I’d love to stay with you if that’s still on offer?”

“Of course it is.” The smile in his voice is loud and clear and my belly swoops.

Oh no.

This is a terrible idea, Reed. The worst.

It’s also the most excited I’ve been about anything all year.

I’m surprised my voice sounds unaffected when I say, “Thank you. I guess I’ll see you in a few weeks, then.”

He laughs and it makes me grin. “I guess you will.”

“Reed, have you got a minute?”

I glance up at my boss, now standing in front of my desk. He’s wearing an annoyingly neutral expression that gives me no hints to what this could be about. “Now?”

“Unless you’re too busy?”

I frown. “Is that a trick question?”

He grins, relaxing me a little, and shakes his head. “You are way too suspicious. I want to discuss something with you, that’s all.”

I am busy, but obviously I won’t be able to concentrate on anything until I find out what he wants. “Now’s good,” I say, standing up.

His eyes sparkle with amusement. “Join me in my office.”

I follow him in and close the door behind me.

“Everything okay?” I ask as I sit down opposite him.

“There’s a job opportunity come up, based out of our Sheffield office.” He stares pointedly at me, and I’m embarrassed at how long it takes me to realise what he’s implying.

“Er...” My forehead scrunches in confusion. Chris has been my boss for the last two years. As far as bosses go, he’s been a great one so far and we’ve managed to become good friends. So I have no issue asking, “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

I expect him to laugh or roll his eyes, but instead his expression softens. “I shouldn’t be telling you this—nothing has been officially announced yet—but...” He hesitates.

“You know it’ll go no further than this room.” And it won’t.

He sighs. “They’re merging our team.”

I tense, something cold and uncomfortable settling in the pit of my stomach. There’s only one team that it would make sense to merge with ours. I ask anyway. “Who with?”

He confirms my suspicions with a grimace.

“Fuck.”

“I’m sorry. I raised as many objections as I could professionally get away with. I’m not keen on the idea of a merger either, because you know where that usually leads.”

“Redundancies.”

“Possibly. Or a redistribution of personnel. ” He does roll his eyes this time.

“Is that why you’re telling me about a job in Sheffield?”

He quickly shakes his head. “No. You’re one of the best people on my team.”

I hold out my hands. “Then why . . . ?”

“Professionally, I’d be an idiot to let you go. But as your friend , Reed, I can’t sit on this opportunity when I know what’s coming. You’ll be working with Karl. Maybe not directly and maybe not every day, but we’ll all be part of the same team, so some interaction will be inevitable.”

I go to interrupt, but he’s not finished.

“These past couple of months, you’ve finally seemed like your old self after... everything ... and I don’t want this move to jeopardise that.”

“I can handle it,” I say quietly, but the truth is, I don’t want to. Maybe one day Karl and I can be the friends we used to be, but I’m not there yet. Work is the one constant that hasn’t changed since we split, and I’ve clung to that. It’s bad enough running into him on the occasional lunch break. If I have to come to work knowing there’s a chance he might be in my office all day, then I’m going to dread coming here. I know I am.

But I’ve worked here for the last six years. The thought of starting somewhere new... I’m not sure I fancy that much either.

I wonder if Chris can read the trepidation on my face because he adds, “It’s the same set up as here: one to two days in the office and the rest working from home. And you already know the team leader.”

That piques my interest. “I do?”

“Yep.” The name he offers up is a guy who used to work in this office a few years ago. I didn’t know him all that well, but I remember liking him. “He remembers you. Was keen to have a chat with you, if you’re interested.”

Am I interested?

I think I am, but it’s not a decision to take lightly. Even one or two days a week, it’s not a commute I’d want to do from here. I’d have to move house.

“The company would help you with moving costs,” Chris says, like he can sense me wavering.

“Can I think about it?”

He nods quickly. “Of course. The job hasn’t even been advertised internally yet, so you’ve got a few weeks to decide. But don’t leave it any longer than that.”

“I won’t.”

I leave his office in a bit of a daze and spend the rest of the afternoon going back and forth between wanting to try something new and never wanting to leave.

Sean and Vic’s housewarming party comes round surprisingly fast. It seems like only yesterday I was sat in Chris’s office while he offered me an opportunity I still don’t know what to do with.

I spend the drive to Charnwell going over and over it in my head. Rumours have started circulating about our impending team merger, and this last week alone I’ve bumped into Karl three times. Once it was both him and Harrison as I left work, and it might be a year since we split, but it’s still not easy to see them together. To see how happy they are.

Maybe a change of scenery would be good?

But do I want to make that big of a change? Moving house and job is a big upheaval. What if I don’t like living in Sheffield?

I’m still undecided as I pull up outside Jerry’s house. I left work a couple of hours early, but Friday afternoon traffic was as shit as it usually is, and it’s taken me longer than I expected to get here. My plans of seeing a bit of the countryside will have to wait because it’s going to be dark soon.

Instead of getting out, I sit in my car and take in the front of Jerry’s house. It’s lovely, but maybe not what I was expecting. It’s more modern, for one thing, but it’s also incredibly inviting, even from the outside. The front lawn is a lush green and neatly cut. Colourful flowers in pots sit either side of the door, and I’m still sat there staring when the front door opens and Jerry leans against the doorjamb, arms folded, watching me with a raised eyebrow.

Okay, now I feel stupid.

But this feels like... I’m not sure what exactly, but something . Maybe it’s because I’ve talked to Jerry a lot over the past few months, but none of it has been face to face, unless you count that one time we video called. Suddenly seeing him in person is messing with my head a little.

It finally hits me.

I’m nervous.

But I can’t stay in my car forever.

“Hey,” I call when I grab my bag and get out.

“I was starting to wonder if you were ever coming in.” He smiles as he says it, his gaze sweeping over me quickly. “Everything okay?”

I contemplate lying for all of two seconds, but what’s the point in that? “Honestly? Feeling a bit awkward right now.”

His expression softens. “If it makes you feel any better, me too.”

It does.

At least I know I’m not the only one who’s weirded out by this.

I reach the door, but he makes no move to invite me inside yet. “Your house is lovely,” I say, turning to look out over the front again. There’s a large tree in the corner that looks like—“Is that a Christmas tree?”

He follows my gaze and his smile widens. “Yeah. I’ve had it for a few years now. Looks amazing in winter when I decorate it with Christmas lights.”

They had snow last year when I was here, and it doesn’t take much imagination to picture Jerry’s house covered in white, with lights strung up outside and wrapped around that beautiful tree. “I bet it does.” I practically sigh the words, and he moves close enough to nudge me.

“Maybe you could come back in a couple of months and see for yourself?”

I smile. “Maybe I could.”

And just like that, the awkwardness vanishes like it was never there.

“Come inside,” he murmurs and steps back to make room for me to pass. “I’ll introduce you to the rest of my family.”

By family he means a super friendly black lab and a gorgeous tabby striped cat, and I spend the next couple of hours getting all the fuss I can handle. We used to have both dogs and cats when I was growing up, and just like when I met Sean’s dog, Lucky, this reminds me how much I miss having some form of animal company. But that also reminds me that I do have that now.

I pull out my phone to text Paul, because he’s cat-sitting for me.

Reed : How’s Frank?

Paul : Asleep on my lap. Where he’s been for the last hour.

Paul : Still can’t believe your cat is called Frank.

Reed : Thanks again for doing this. I shouldn’t be back too late on Sunday.

Paul : No need to rush back. Make the most of your dirty weekend away!

He adds a few emojis that make me snort and roll my eyes.

I made the mistake of showing him Jerry on the vet practice’s website and he’s been full of innuendo ever since. I don’t exactly hate it either. It’s been a while since he’s felt comfortable enough to tease me about liking someone.

I call that progress.

But the more he does it, the more it sticks in my mind, because Jerry’s an attractive guy. We might’ve agreed—well, okay, I chose —not to go there at New Year’s, but I’m not blind. And a little flirting never hurt anyone, right? It’s not like we have to act on anything.

“There you go,” Jerry says as he walks in and hands me a beer.

“Thanks.”

He sits at the other end of the sofa, dog at his feet, but his cat stays put on my lap. “Traitor,” he mutters, glaring at her, but he’s smiling as he says it.

We decided against going out, because by the time we’d eaten I’d started to yawn—it’s been a long fucking day—and I was only too happy to chill at his house instead.

I’ve still got my phone in my hand, and he nods at it. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just checking in with Paul. He’s looking after Frank for me.”

There’s a beat of silence and then Jerry shifts to face me, one hand idly tracing the seam along his jeans. “Paul? I don’t think you’ve mentioned him before.”

I stare back at him, wondering if I’m imagining the edge of something in his tone. Is he... is he jealous?

I consider it for a second and then dismiss it as me being ridiculous. “Paul’s one of my best mates. We work together,” I add. “Have done for about five years now. I’m surprised I haven’t mentioned him before, considering we’re in the same office and I see him most days.”

I snap my mouth shut because I suddenly realise I’m rambling.

And that’s not all, I can feel heat flooding my face too.

Oh my god, why ?

This only happens when I’m nervous, and I have absolutely no reason to be nervous around Jerry.

Clearly this is all Paul’s fault.

If he could see me right now, he’d be delighted, because there’s no denying my feelings towards Jerry have just shifted ever so subtly.

“Is he staying at your place then?”

It takes a moment for me to realise Jerry’s asked me a question, and when I meet his gaze, his eyes sparkle with amusement that wasn’t there a minute ago. There’s something else there too, but no way do I want to focus on decoding that right now. “Sorry, what?” I have to ask because I already forgot what he said.

“Is Paul at your house? Or has he taken Frank back home?”

“Er... he’s at my place. His boyfriend’s slightly allergic to cats, so he didn’t want to have Frank there, just in case.”

Jerry smiles, and this time I know I’m not imagining the way all the tension seems to leave his body at my words. He settles back into the sofa and takes a drink of his beer. After fiddling with the label on the bottle, his eyes meet mine again, but all traces of amusement are gone, and I immediately tense.

I can spot a serious conversation a mile away.

“Have things changed?” he asks softly. “Since New Year’s?”

I raise my eyebrows. Is he asking what I think he is?

“Shit.” He shakes his head quickly. “That came out wrong. I should’ve asked if things were better now. In your life. Because you never took me up on my offer to talk about it, so I’m hoping that’s because you found someone else to do that with. Or that you’ve come out the other side, as it were.” He offers me a small smile. “And if you haven’t and you still want to talk, the offer is always there.”

He looks at me with a mix of expectation and hesitancy, and I swallow the flare of disappointment that he wasn’t actually hitting on me. He’s asking as a friend, and I did say I’d talk to him about it soon.

Not that I owe him an explanation, nor do I ever think he’d push for one. But I haven’t really talked about it with anyone, not really, not like I probably need to. And in the welcoming warmth of Jerry’s home, with a cat on my knee, a dog asleep at our feet, and Jerry’s offer so unbelievably tempting... maybe it’s time.

I drain the rest of my beer and set the bottle back on the coffee table, careful not to disturb Kyla.

And I start to talk.

I tell him everything: that Karl and I were friends first, that his long-term boyfriend left him to work abroad and how devastated he was. How I was there for him as a friend, we all were, but that over the months following, we grew closer and closer until one night... I didn’t elaborate, pretty sure he got the picture.

“What happened?” His hands twitch on his lap, like he wants to reach for me, but I’m not sure I’d welcome that right now, and I breathe a sigh of relief when he clasps them instead.

“We were good together,” I say, and even I can hear the wistful tone. “For almost two years, I was the happiest I’d ever been. We were even thinking about getting a house together.” Even though I think I’m finally moving on, it still hurts. Maybe because I thought he was the one . “And then Harrison came back.”

Jerry winces. “Oh.”

I sigh, because I want to blame Harrison and Karl for all of it, but I can’t. And that pisses me off too, because I can’t even hate the pair of them. “It’s not what you think. Harrison didn’t know Karl and me were together. They’d cut all contact when he left. He turned up at the pub we all go to after work sometimes. As soon as he saw us together, he apologised and left, but—” I draw in a shaky breath. Telling Jerry takes me back to that day, and for a moment, I relive the gut-wrenching realisation that my boyfriend is still in love with his ex. “The damage was done.” I shrug. “They didn’t contact each other, didn’t even try, but it wasn’t the same between me and Karl. As much as I loved him, I knew deep down he loved someone else, and I deserved better. We both did.”

Jerry reaches for my hand, and I hold on tight. “Are they together now?”

“Yeah.” My voice is rough, raw. I close my eyes and let my head fall back against the sofa.

“And your ex works in the same office building as you?”

“Yep.” I think of the upcoming team merger and groan. “And our two teams are about to be merged, so I’ll see even more of him.”

“Well, that’s fucking shit.”

I laugh, even though it’s far from funny, because he sounds so outraged on my behalf. “So shit.” I turn to look at him. “My boss suggested I relocate to our Sheffield office for a fresh start.” I’m not sure what made me blurt that out. I’ve still not made a decision on what I want to do about it.

Jerry stares at me, and I watch the implication of what I’ve said sink in. “So you’d have to move? I guess it’s a bit far to commute, right?”

“Technically, I’d only have to go into the office one or two days a week, so in theory I guess I could stay where I am...”

“But you like the idea of moving.” It’s not a question, and I’m caught off guard by how easily he’s read me.

“Maybe.”

I’m still wary about uprooting my whole life, but starting fresh—new team, new place, no chance of ever running into Karl and Harrison—well, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t have some appeal. And it’s not like I wouldn’t know anyone around here. Depending on where I chose to live, Sean isn’t far away.

Neither is Jerry.

So it’s not like I’d be totally alone.

“I take it you haven’t said whether or not you’ll take it yet?”

“No.” I drain the rest of my beer and set the bottle down. “But I’ll have to do it soon.”

Jerry’s eyebrows furrow as he finishes his own beer, and I wonder what he’s thinking so hard about. I think he’s about to tell me when he opens his mouth, but all he says is, “If you’re up for it, I thought we could go for a walk first thing and take Jen. The forecast is good, and Jen’ll be tired out for when we go to Sean and Vic’s later.”

Yeah, that so wasn’t what he had on his mind, but I let it go. I’m not brave enough to ask him. “Yeah, a walk sounds good. What time were you thinking?”

“Since I’m nice, I’ll let you have a lie in.” He grins. “About eight?”

“Eight?” I’m not proud of how high my voice goes, but come on. That’s not a fucking lie in.

“Too late for you? We can make it seven if you want.” His eyes are full of teasing, and I can’t help but grin back, even as I try my best to glare.

“Eight is fine,” I mutter, and Jerry laughs.

“Trust me, you’ll love it when we’re out there.”

“M-hmm.” I’m sure I will, and I’m not really bothered about getting up at that time but giving him shit is fun. “Whatever you say.”

He stands then, and my gaze automatically scans the length of him from head to toe, and back again. I flush when I reach his face and realise I’ve been caught.

“Since we’re having an early start, we should probably go to bed now.” There’s an edge to his voice, and that, coupled with his words, sends a shiver through me.

I can’t help but picture him leading me up to his bedroom and shoving me down onto his big bed. Even though I know that’s not what he meant, my brain has merrily skipped ahead about a hundred steps and my flush deepens.

My cheeks aren’t the only things he’s going to notice in a minute though, and how fucking embarrassing will that be?

All he’s done is mention the word bed and I’m half-hard.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I don’t even think of Jerry like that. Which, okay, that’s a lie. I shouldn’t be thinking of Jerry like that, because that ship has sailed and we’re friends now.

It’s just been so fucking long since I’ve had sex of any kind, that clearly even the idea of it is enough to set me off.

“I’m thirty-three, not eighty,” I mutter, desperately thinking unsexy thoughts and willing my body to behave. I yawn, weakening my argument, and Jerry raises his eyebrows. I don’t even wait for him to comment, I stand and pray he doesn’t look down. “Fine. Maybe I am a bit tired.”

“Thought so.” He’s way too smug, and I think I’ve got away with my unfortunate semi until his gaze dips and I hear his faint, but sharp, inhale.

I don’t want to look down. I don’t need to because I can feel it, for fuck’s sake, but seeing it for myself means I can’t pretend it’s not there. “Where am I sleeping?” I ask instead and then want to die when I realise how that came out. “I mean which bedroom am I in?” And that’s not much better. Christ, Reed . I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

When I open them again, it’s to find Jerry watching me with a huge smile on his face and obviously trying not to laugh.

“Oh, fuck off.”

He does laugh then, and there’s no other choice but to join him.

“I’m not used to staying with someone who isn’t either Paul or Sean,” I offer as a sort of explanation for my behaviour. Not sure it makes much sense, but staying here, despite how comfortable I felt earlier, is still a little weird.

Well, it is now I’ve made it weird.

Jerry takes pity on me. “My spare room is the first door on the right at the top of the stairs, which is where you’ll be sleeping. The bathroom is straight in front of you. My room is the first on the left.”

Did I imagine his voice getting deeper on that last sentence?

Yes. Of course I did.

Stop reading into things that aren’t there, or you’ll make everything awkward again.

Or maybe not.

That thought creeps into my head, uninvited. How many times do I need to remind myself that we’re friends? I’m staying here as a friend .

With benefits?

Oh my god, I need to stop.

“I’m just going to let Jen out to do her business. Do you need anything before you go up? Glass of water?”

“No, thank you. I’ve got a bottle in my bag.”

“Okay, well, I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“Yeah, night. And thanks again for letting me stay here.”

His smile is instant and catches me off guard with how it lights up his whole face. “It’s my pleasure.”

As he moves past me to get to the door, his hip brushes against the front of my jeans, it’s only the barest contact but it’s enough to make my breath hitch and I clench my fists in an effort not to grab hold of him and pull him closer.

He glances back at me, a question in his eyes, and I’m so, so tempted to— fuck it.

“Jerry,” I whisper and reach for his hand.

His fingers lock with mine, and he slowly turns to face me. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” I tug him forward until we’re almost touching.

Then I kiss him.

And oh god, it’s every bit as good as I remember. Better even, because my memory from that night is a little hazy in places.

His lips are surprisingly soft, warm, and pliant under mine as I deepen the kiss to something wild and a little desperate. But to be fair, this has been building between us all day and I am desperate. I slide a hand around his neck and groan as he grips my waist and pulls me close. Close enough that I know I wasn’t the only one sporting a semi. Or a not-so-semi anymore, because now I’m straining against my jeans and, by the feel of him, so is Jerry.

I groan as his tongue flicks against mine, a tease more than anything and I want more. I’m about to chase after it, when a loud bark startles me into stumbling backwards. Only Jerry catching hold of my arms stops me from falling onto the sofa.

He laughs as he pulls me upright. “Sorry. I guess she needs to go out.” His expression softens. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

I open my mouth to object, but he cups my jaw, thumb rubbing my lower lip.

“Take tonight to think about if you want to take this further. I like you, Reed. I don’t want to do something you might regret tomorrow.”

“Pretty sure I wouldn’t regret doing anything with you.” But I yawn again, and fuck me, I’m knackered. But there’s no way I’m missing out on this. On what we were heading towards before Jen interrupted us. “Go let her out and do what you need to do down here. I’ll be in my bed. Naked,” I add, and he groans. “You’re welcome to join me if you want to.” I give him a look that I hope conveys exactly how much I want him to take me up on my offer, and then I edge past him and head upstairs.