Feuds and Interludes (Rock ‘n’ Romance Legends #1)

Chapter 11

Eleven

S hane

“Asthma too? Damn, you really need to take care of yourself before you end up another dead rockstar.”

He seemed small as he stood there taking shallow breaths. It reminded me of when we were kids, thrown together only because our grandparents knew each other, not because we chose to be playmates. He would follow me and my friends around, laughing at our jokes even when my friends told him to get lost. He was a persistent little fucker even back then.

“Ouch,” he said, and he started to back up, but I reached for his arm. He flinched, like I was going to hurt him.

“Boone, hey,” I said, jumping to my feet. I reached for his arms again, but then thought better of it. I shouldn’t touch him without permission…again. Even after what he’d said earlier. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, I’m?—”

He smiled, and I forgot that I shouldn’t be talking to him like this, so close to him. This time the smile wasn’t that fake shit he did for everyone else. This one reminded me of our chat in my van, which was the first time we’d really talked…maybe ever. And dammit, it was that interaction that cemented my obsession with this guy. Who was he if he wasn’t the asshole I’d always thought?

“I told you, Shane, I want you to.”

“Why? I mean, why me? Why now?”

He shrugged one shoulder and lowered his chin, looking up at me with those fucking deep blue eyes, and my heart raced like I’d just had five shots of espresso.

“Maybe if you touch me, it’ll mean you don’t hate me.”

His perfect voice cracked when he said that, and he followed it up with a pained expression.

He was so perfect. All of him. And I’d been awful to him because I couldn’t stand that he was so perfect. Why, though? Why had I held on to these feelings for so long? Why hadn’t I just reached out and touched him before?

“Shane?” His nervous laugh jarred me from my internal battle. “Do you want… me ?”

Of course I did, that’s why I’d been such an asshole. Didn’t he see that? Did he really think I hated him?

If I touched him, though?—

“Goddammit, Collins,” I whispered. I grabbed his biceps and pulled him close, probably a little too forcefully, but any second my resolve was going to snap like a rubber band and the sting when it hit was going to fucking suck. I knew this was going to hurt, and I did it anyway.

Boone tilted his head up, and like this? He was even more sensual than when he sang, and I hadn’t thought that was possible, that there was even more passion in him than what he gave to his audiences.

And what did I have to give him ?

“Yes, Butler?” His eyes flared, and he laughed.

He’d imitated my much deeper voice, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

He sighed. “You have such a nice smile, Shane. Like the sun, it’s too powerful to look at for long, and like an eclipse, it’s so rare.”

I rolled my eyes, but I stroked the backs of his arms with my thumbs, up under the sleeves of his v-neck shirt. My thumb ran over the bottom of his glucose monitor, and my heart swelled for him. He was dealing with so much, and yet, he seemed totally lucid now, here, in my arms. “You gonna be the poet now? Come on, be straight with me.”

His smile faded, and that made me even more nervous.

“Fine. I love your smile, but when you scowl at me? Give me that ‘dammit Collins’ look? I want you to fuck me.”

I gripped his arms tighter as molten heat consumed me.

“Fuck, Boone. You can’t be serious.”

“Hmm? That I want you to fuck me? I’m dead serious, Shane. And there happens to be a bed right here.” He looked over his shoulder and when he turned back, he pressed his pelvis against me. There was no ignoring the heat he was throwing off, the bulge in his pants. “Tell me why we shouldn’t?”

I gave no retort, no argument against what he was suggesting. I knew that if it went wrong, it would go WAY wrong. Getting closer to Boone could have catastrophic effects. But the bottom line? If this didn’t happen, my obsession with Boone Collins would continue to grow, would devour me, and I wouldn’t make it back in one piece.

I ran a finger through the hair next to his ear and lifted it away. I leaned in close, feeling him shiver as I spoke. “What’s off limits?”

I gazed into his eyes, waiting for his response.

The dreamy look on his face faded for a moment and in a sober tone, he said, “Don’t pull my hair. Please. That’s all.”

“Done.” There was a story there, but as he placed his hands tentatively on my waist, under my shirt, I didn’t want to break the spell, the magic he’d woven around us with his request.

“You?” He slid his hand under my shirt, up my back and then around to the front, brushing his thumb over my nipple.

“Don’t pull my hair either.”

It got the desired effect. He laughed and it became a moment not so full of tension. He reached both hands up to my head and ran his fingers over my baldness.

“I love this,” Boone said, moaning. “So sexy.”

My cheeks heated under his compliment. Losing my hair had been hard. It felt like everyone was looking at me all the time, the people closest to me would peer at my thinning hair, wince, and avoid commenting on it. Shaving it allowed me to take ownership of the situation. Thank God I didn’t have a fucked-up head shape.

He turned us around and pushed me down to sit on the bed, leaving his hands on my shoulders. “I dreamed about having you alone, but now that I do, I don’t know where to start.” He let out a nervous laugh, and his touch became a little more hesitant. “I should tell you that even though I’m experiencing some health challenges right now, which you unfortunately had to witness, I’m healthy in all the ways that matter.”

“Thank you for saying that,” I said, running my hands up the back of his thighs and over his ass. That ass . It filled my big hands in such a satisfying way. I loved the weight, the curve, the firmness covered in soft corduroy. I loved that the fabric barely covered the globes, that if I could see us from behind, his crack would likely be visible over the top like the most enticing game of peek-a-boo. “But I wasn’t worried. And I know what you said, but we can take this however we want. We’ve gone from nearly coming to blows to talking about sex, so whatever happens…”

Boone crawled onto my lap and wrapped his legs around my hips. “Two extremes of passion. I like this one better.”

“I like this, too. Come here.” I had to know. I slid my fingers around his neck and pulled gently, urging his succulent lips down to mine, and fuuuuuck me did he taste sweet, even after sleeping. The slow sweep of his?—

“Oh!” I breathed when I felt the metal on his tongue.

“Yeah,” he said. “I really like metal. Kind of bought into the whole lifestyle.” He pulled off his shirt, and I made a shocked and totally horny kind of groaning sound.

“My God, Collins. You should come with a warning label.”

I traced his nipples, and he squirmed under my touch.

“And what would it say, this warning label?”

I looked down between us. “Contents under pressure? Flammable? I don’t know, but damn .”

He tilted his head to the side. “Is that good? I don’t even know what you’re into, what you like.”

I took one of his hands and placed it between us, letting him feel just how much he was affecting me. “Any questions?”

He smiled, but then it slipped and he seemed unsure. “Can I kiss you again? God, I’m like, nervous all of a sudden.”

“I don’t want you to be nervous. Are you feeling okay?” I asked him, brushing his hair back from his face. It felt like silk between my fingers and it smelled so good, he smelled so good. Some sort of expensive hair products probably.

“Yeah. I’m okay. I’m just not very good at seduction, I guess.”

“You’re perfect,” I said, and I decided to show him that I didn’t give a shit about how he performed. I went for his collarbones first, needing to kiss him, nibble him, suck on him. He shifted against me as I gave him the first hickey. The second one I left on his right pec, after I tugged on his nipple. I couldn’t help it, he tasted good all over and I got a little overzealous.

He really had lost weight, though. Gone was the slight roundness to his face and his midsection. I’d always thought he looked good with the weight. Made him seem fierce. Knowing that he’d likely lost weight because of his health worried me, made him seem vulnerable, though I wouldn’t dare say that. His ass felt so good in my hands, and he was the perfect height sitting like this where I had access to his throat, which I nearly marked in my exuberance.

“You keep sucking on me like that and not only am I going to come in my pants, but everyone is going to know what we did.”

I leaned back and frowned at him. “Does that bother you? Folks knowing you were with me?” I had to talk myself down from letting my thoughts go screaming into a negative direction.

“No,” he said, pressing a hand to my chest. “No, Shane. I’m, fuck, I’m honored that you would want to be with me.”

I looked away. “No need for all that. But if you’re having second thoughts?—”

“God, no.” He placed his hands on my face, forcing me to gaze into his eyes. “Shane, I’ve wanted you for so long. I’m just waiting for you to tell me to get lost.”

I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder with a sigh. “I really am a dick.”

He threw his head back and laughed, then climbed off of my lap and over to lay on one side on the bed. “Not any more than I am. Maybe that’s why it’s good we’re doing this.” He smiled, but I could sense that uncertainty below the surface.

I turned to face him and stretched out on the bed. It was good he’d woken me up when he did. My back had been starting to cramp in the damn chair. I reached for his hand and brought it to my lips to kiss. “It is good.”

He ran his thumb over my bottom lip, and I sucked it into my mouth, making him arch up off the bed, and that was all the talking I wanted to do. I stretched out over him and let him pull my shirt off. Our pants were unfastened next, and we were down to our underwear in a flash.

Boone cried out when I wrapped my hand around his length.

“Jesus, here too?”

He chuckled as I ran a finger over his Prince Albert.“The gift that keeps on giving?”

Fuck me .

His hands shook when he wrapped them both around my cock. And we kissed. The whole time.

As we stroked each other, our bodies trembling, bucking, vibrating, I tried not to let my thoughts move ahead to next time, as in, “Next time I’m going to suck him until he comes in my mouth. After that, I want to sit him back on my lap, so I can watch him as I stroke him inside and out until?—”

“Shane,” he sighed, and his hands fell still. “What’s wrong? Do you not want?—”

“I want to make you come,” I said, kissing him deeply. I could concentrate better without him touching me.

He made a sound of protest, but then he moaned and gripped my shoulders tighter, his hips bucking, his cock thrusting hard into my hand. He pulled away from the kiss, squeezed his eyes shut, and he sucked in a breath as his body tensed. He let out a moan as he came that was so fucking sexy, I had to press down on my own erection to keep from coming in my shorts.

Boone lay there, his skin illuminated by the security lights outside the window. He panted hard, and I was mesmerized as I watched him. What a fucking picture. His face was relaxed, his lips parted and wet. I could have kept kissing him all night, but I wanted to…watch him.

“That wasn’t exactly what I thought was going to happen, but I’m certainly not complaining.” He huffed out a breath and stretched his arms over his head.

“What do you mean?”

He rolled onto his side and laughed, brushing his hair out of his face. “I thought…never mind.” He reached for my dick, but I caught his hand. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” I said, but he continued to stare at me.

“So that’s it?” He sat up and flicked his hair over his shoulders. “You just… that’s it ?”

“No,” I said, sitting up to face him. “No, just…for tonight. Was it not good or something?” His change of mood hit me like a blast of cold water. Was I wrong to?—

“I don’t get you,” he said, his voice shaky. He climbed out of the bed and started searching for his clothes.

“Boone, wait.”

“No, it’s fine. I thought maybe we were finally through with this, but I guess not.”

“Through with what? Boone, come here.”

He’d yanked on his pants, but I’d grabbed his shirt. I didn’t want him to run out of here in a snit. He planted his hands on his hips and exhaled.

“Through with me not being good enough for you. I wish I never would have?—”

“Whoa,” I said, standing from the bed. “That’s not at all… Look, I don’t jump right into anything with anybody. I have to… What’s wrong with taking it slow?”

He opened his mouth and snapped it shut. “Slow?”

“Yeah, you know, in case you regret it in the morning.”

I knew I fucked up as soon as I said it.

“ Regret? Shane, I’ve wanted this for a long time. The only thing I’ll regret is not getting to touch you.”

We stood there, facing each other, both with our hands on our hips—and I had a sudden flash.

Either this was it, and we’d never be intimate again, or this was going to be us, moving forward, always at odds, everything an event between us. Always fighting until…he left. Or told me to get out. I was very familiar with both of those options.

“You should get some sleep. You want to stay here, or you want me to walk you back to the lodge?”

His eyes flared. “That’s… Really ? Thanks, but I can walk myself back just fine.”

He shoved his feet into his boots, grabbed his bag and stormed out of the room past me, cussing the whole way.

I still had his shirt wadded up in my hand.

“That could have gone smoother.” I took my time getting dressed, and by the time I got outside, set the electronic lock on the studio door, I could see Boone stomping up the steps of the lodge, his hair flying in the cold breeze.

He had to be freezing his ass off. His beautiful ass. And I’d been allowed to touch him. He was fucking majestic, every damn inch of him even better than I’d thought he would feel. I thought for a millisecond that perhaps now he’d be out of my system, but no. As he yanked the lodge doors open, letting them slam behind him, I knew there was no way he’d ever be out.

It was probably for the best that he walked away before either of us fell too hard into this thing.

He was wrong. I could never think I was too good for him. He was so much, so much larger than life, so overwhelming. And falling for him scared me more than I would ever admit. He would demand more from me than I was ready to share with another person.

It was better for him to think I wasn’t into him, because he would break me if I let him.