Fight for You

Chapter Three

Avery

What the hell am I doing? The hottest, sweetest man I've ever met took me on a date, opened his heart up to me, and asked me on a second date, and I said no?

The thoughts whipped around my mind as Troy and I walked to the gym together. He was keeping an arm's length between us, and while I appreciated the respect, I hated it at the same time. I wished for him to put his hand on my back like before.

The worst part was that I knew I could have it, but I turned it down, just like I turned down a second date. I was still in shock over Troy asking for the first one, let alone another. I was just as surprised that I went to the first one. I had avoided dating altogether for so long.

I should have stayed away. I should have politely declined, and just focused on our training. But it was impossible. I was drawn to everything about Troy, and I couldn’t resist. He was the first man who ever made me rethink my stance on dating or relationships.

So I allowed myself a single taste of being with him. I told myself that once he got to know me better, his interest would wane and it wouldn’t matter anyway. But it wasn’t true. He listened to everything I had to say. He held my hand. And he opened up to me, telling me all about his family and past.

It made it nearly impossible to turn him down, but I knew it had to be done. Because there were things in my past I knew he couldn’t accept; things that had shaped me into a man he couldn’t possibly want. Though it killed me to do so, I knew I’d made the right decision. I would surely carry regret, but at least I had a night of wonderful memories to accompany it.

He used his key to unlock the front door, and he typed in a code on the security system. Entering the gym together felt strange. We were surrounded by an air of confusion and disappointment, which made me feel even worse. I wanted Troy more than he could know, but I was protecting both of us.

The air was all we were surrounded by; the gym was completely empty, as it had closed about a half an hour before. If we’d skipped our pool game, we would have run into other clients. It may have been less awkward that way, but I wouldn’t give up our game for anything. I’d never forget Troy’s impressed smile or the pride in his eyes.

Without a word, I made my way into the locker room to change into my workout clothes. I placed my duffel bag on the bench and unzipped it, groaning at what I found; I’d been so distracted and excited by the idea of seeing Troy, I packed two pairs of shorts, but no t-shirt. I rolled my eyes at myself and changed into a pair of red athletic shorts. I unbuttoned the sleeves of my dress shirt and rolled them up; it was the best I could do.

Mac gave me a strange look when I walked into the gym, so I explained with a shrug, “I forgot to bring a t-shirt. I’m a dumbass.”

“That’s definitely not true, Mr. CIA,” he replied with a wink, and some of the tension surrounding us dissipated. “Let’s get warmed up.”

He led me over to a speed bag and showed me how to use it; hitting it in small circles with both of my hands close to the bag. He said it would get my muscles loose, and get my heart rate up.

It also got my irritation level up. Every time I got going at a decent speed, my sleeves would roll down and flop over my hands. I’d groan, push them back up, and start again, but I never reached a great pace or rhythm.

After a few minutes, Troy took mercy on me and said that was enough warm up time. “Let’s review what we went over a couple of days ago,” he suggested, and raised his hands in front of his chest as he stepped before me.

I squared my hips and brought my hands up in a blocking stance. I pulled backward before punching his hand, angling my knuckles like he’d shown me.

“Don’t hold back,” he requested, nodding for me to go again.

I wasn’t trying to hold back, but my dress shirt was inhibiting my full movement. Whenever I tried to twist my hips, the tight fabric rubbed against my skin. I couldn’t use the full rotation of my shoulders.

“I really wish I’d brought a different shirt,” I thought out loud. “This one has me all tied up.”

Mac caught me by total surprise when he offered, “Do you want mine?” as he grabbed the hem of his shirt and whipped the cotton off over his head.

My eyes and jaw popped open at the same time as I stared at his naked torso. It was rude, but impossible to stop. His body was incredible. Mounds of muscle were carved into his stomach, while a splash of dark hair on his chest added a touch of softness.

His arms were swollen with strength, barely containing the veins pushed up against his skin. Two deep lines were cut into his pelvis, disappearing behind the fabric of his shorts. Holy mother of Muscle Milk.

“You’re huge,” I squeaked out as all common sense fled from my body. Why the hell did I say that?

“I guess it would be too big on you,” Mac agreed, looking at the shirt in his hands as he thankfully disregarded my comment. “Swimming in a shirt wouldn’t make it any easier than being restricted by one.”

Did he put his shirt back on and save me from slobbering all over myself? No. He tossed the fabric against the wall, and stood there in all his god-like glory, not realizing he was about to give me a heart attack.

“Actually, why don’t you just take yours off too? That way you can move easily.”

Yeah, Avery, why don’t you take off your shirt so you can be half naked with the hottest man in the universe while he shows you how to move your body? I tried my best to come up with a good excuse, but my mind was too occupied with imagining what was under those shorts.

Besides, wouldn't giving an excuse make it more obvious that I was attracted to him? And wouldn't that make my declination that much more confusing? Having free movement was important in fighting.

Before my brain was on board, my fingers were plucking the buttons on my chest. I kept my eyes on Troy’s delicious form as I popped the last button free and pushed the lightweight cotton off of my arms. Cool air kissed my skin and caused it to pebble, tightening my nipples to sharp points.

Our bodies were very different. Mac was tall, broad, and stacked with muscle. I was short and slim with zero tone. The only dips in my skin were the visible spaces between my ribs. So why was he staring at me like I was the steak, and not just the bone? I had to be mistaken.

But it sure didn't feel like it; not with the way his eyes darkened and slowly grazed across my chest. His tongue traced across his lips as he admired my stomach before looking hungrily into my eyes. No one had ever looked at me like that.

My heart raced as he approached, moving slowly but deliberately. He was making his intentions clear, but giving me space to move away. But I couldn’t; my body was frozen with both intrigue and panic.

Troy stepped close enough that I could feel his breath on my forehead as he towered over me, looking down with tender heat in his gaze. “You are so beautiful, Avery.” My blood warmed, but my hands tingled as if they were cold as he inched his face closer to mine.

His lips puckered, but just before they could press against mine, I turned my head, and he barely brushed against my cheek. Mac took a respectful step back. He appeared hurt and confused, but not angry. His voice was quiet when he asked, “Why are you pushing me away, Shortstack? Did I do something wrong?”

My heart squeezed at the nickname, and with the need to explain. My own voice cracked when I replied honestly, “You don’t want me.”

“That’s bullshit.” Mac dropped his eyes and mine followed his glance, until they landed on his shorts; or rather, the thick bulge behind them.

The room spun. My vision blurred. My knees went weak. The only sounds I could hear were the erratic thump of my heart and Troy’s distant call of my name, until even those disappeared.

Troy

Avery swayed on his feet before his knees totally gave way. I caught him by the waist and pulled him onto my lap as I sat on the floor. It wasn’t meant to be a forward or sexual move; I just wanted to support him. And thankfully, my stiffy got the message that I was freaking the freak out, so it disappeared.

“Avery,” I repeated, gently tapping his ultra-pale cheek, but I got no answer. I didn’t know what was happening. I checked his glucose monitor on his hip, but it was quiet, so I didn’t think his blood sugar was the problem.

I gingerly opened one of his eyes with my fingers, and found that it was unfocused and slightly rolled back. Fuck. I’d seen more than one guy knocked out from a fight who looked nearly identical to this. Though that wasn’t the case with Avery, it did give me an idea.

I stood upright, holding his limp body close to mine as I hustled across the gym to the first aid station. I retrieved a pack of smelling salts and cracked it open before holding it a few inches below Avery’s nose. Within a few seconds, his eyes opened and he awoke with a cough.

I sat down once more, cradling him in my arms and trying to ignore how nice his smooth skin felt against mine. This was not the time to notice how perfectly he fit against me.

“It’s okay,” I repeated over and over as I traced my hand up and down his back, feeling the bumpy protrusions of his spine. “I’ve got you.”

We sat like that for a few minutes before Avery pushed off of my lap, taking a seat on the floor next to me. I made sure he could sit upright on his own before removing my hands from his hips.

“Are you okay? It’s not your sugar, is it?” Avery shook his head no, confirming what I already thought. “What do you need? Should I call an ambulance?”

He shook his head again and finally spoke, “No, I’ll be okay.” My heart broke as embarrassment painted his face red. “I’m really sorry about that. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I insisted. I only cared about his well being. “What happened?”

Avery took a deep breath and cast his eyes to the floor. “It wasn’t as bad as what I’ve had before, but…it was a…panic attack.”

I hated that something spooked him so badly that it made him physically ill. I replayed the moment in my head and my stomach sank when I realized the cause; his symptoms started when I drew his attention to my desire for him.

“Avery, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” I wasn’t sure why the sight of my arousal caused him panic, but it didn’t matter; that was never my intention, and I never would have done it on purpose. “You said I didn’t want you, but I was just trying to show you I did. Please forgive me.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he replied quietly before taking a long breath. “There’s something you don’t know about me; something no one knows about me.”

“What is it?” When he didn’t answer, I slowly slid my hand on top of his to offer support. He’d been okay with the contact at dinner, so I was confident it wouldn’t spook him, but I still moved cautiously. “Avery, you can tell me anything. I won’t betray your trust, and talking to someone always helps.”

After another couple of minutes of silence, Avery raised his gaze…to my chin. It was the closest thing he would give to eye contact, and I appreciated it greatly. “I figured out I was gay in my teen years, but I didn’t broadcast it; my stepdad was openly and proudly homophobic, so I thought it was best to keep it to myself so I wouldn’t cause a rift in the family. I figured once I graduated and moved out, I could live my life without worry.”

His story wasn’t over, but I felt compelled to offer, “I’m sorry you went through that. I can’t imagine feeling like I had to hide who I was from my family; that had to be lonely. I came out to my parents in my teen years as well. My mom claimed she already knew, though dad was admittedly confused at first; he didn’t understand how his huge, strong son could be attracted to other men. I think societal expectations had his head all screwed up. But once he got over the shock, he accepted it and we moved on.”

“I’m glad for you,” he replied, finally lifting his eyes to meet mine. The sincerity they held blew me away. Even after whatever he’d been through, he still wanted the best for me, and I was sure for everyone else. His soul was as beautiful as he was.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt.” I felt bad for throwing off the flow of his story.

“No, I’m glad you did; I want you to tell me everything, too.” I gave him a smile and squeezed his hand as he gathered his thoughts and continued, “In my senior year, I got involved with a guy in my grade, Daniel. We kept our relationship secret, but it moved pretty quickly. It turned serious and…sexual.” The last word was accompanied by a pink hue on his cheeks. I gave his fingers another squeeze for support.

“Everything was going great, but apparently I did a terrible job of hiding things from my stepdad. He got suspicious because I was acting ‘too happy’. He went through my phone one night while I was asleep and found messages between me and Daniel, and he completely lost his shit. He was furious; he screamed at me, calling me disgusting and vile names while wishing death and hellfire on me. He said he had to ‘cure’ me; to save me.”

Panic set into my heart wondering what those words meant. There was no positive meaning. Not wanting to interrupt again, I simply gripped his hand and gave him my full attention.

“He said the only way to do it was to ruin me for any other man; to make it where I’d never want another man or anything else inside me again. So, he…” His chest heaved and he swallowed hard. “He got a broom, and…” His eyes filled with tears. “It hurt. I bled and cried…”

“Oh, Avery.” I scooped him into my arms again, holding him tightly against me. He didn't pull away. He buried his face into my neck and sobbed. A few tears escaped down my own cheeks as I imagined the terror and pain he experienced. But they dried quickly, as my sorrow morphed into anger. Nobody deserved what he’d been through, what that monster put him through, but to know that this sweet man whom I was quickly falling for had been hurt so deeply was making my blood boil.

I didn’t want to make Avery more upset, so I tried my best to keep my voice even when I asked, “What’s his name?” I also wanted an address so I could pay him a little visit. I’d rip his head off and shove it up his ass. It was better than he deserved.

Once his sobs slowed, Avery sniffed hard and answered, “Jack, but it doesn’t matter.” Before I could argue that it did to me, he added, “He’s in prison.”

I hoped, “For this?”

Avery nodded against my shoulder. “The next morning when he went to work, I told my mom about what happened. I thought she would help me, but she defended her husband. She told me that he was just doing what he felt was right, and it was my fault for making him act on it; that if I were straight to begin with, nothing ever would have happened.”

I had no words. How could a mother turn her back on her child that way? How could she defend such wicked actions?

“When I realized she wouldn’t protect me, I was terrified about what else Jack might do to me. I didn’t know where else to turn, so when I was supposed to be driving to school, I went to the police station instead. I told them everything, and Jack was arrested shortly after that. He didn’t deny a thing; the fucker thought he should get some kind of reward for his ‘good deed’. Eventually, he got locked up. He’s got eight more years to serve.”

It didn’t seem like nearly enough of a punishment, but I was glad he was somewhere far away from Avery. I could only hope the other prisoners were giving him a dose of ‘good deeds’ every damn day.

“My mom blamed me for taking her husband away, and she cut all ties with me. I haven’t heard from her in years and honestly, I don’t want to. I’ve tried to move on with my life and forget about both of them, but that last part has been impossible.

“After everything went down, Daniel pushed me away. My story was in the news and on every pair of lips in town, and he didn’t want to be brought into the middle of it. I wished he would have supported me, but I respected his wishes and never mentioned his name to anyone.

“I didn’t date for years. I couldn’t even think about it. But one day, I told myself I would never fully heal until I faced my fears head on. So, I signed up for a dating site and went out with the first guy I matched with, basically just to get it over with and prove to myself that I could do it.

“But I was wrong. The guy was looking for a hookup and wasn't shy about it. I held it together when he told me what he wanted to do to me, but when he actually touched me, I lost control. My mind went back to that night with Jack and I couldn't handle it. I got sick and passed out. When I woke up, I was in the back of an Uber.”

“He just sent you away?” I snapped angrily. Avery needed help, but the fucker got rid of him.

“I was just glad he didn't do worse to me while I was unconscious.” My heart shattered. That shouldn't have even been a worry on his mind. “But that experience showed me that I wasn't cut out for dating anymore. I'm no good for anyone. Just the thought of having a man inside me…” A shiver rocked through him and I squeezed him tighter.

I stroked his back until his crying stopped and his breathing calmed. “Avery, I hate what that asshole put you through; not only the pain and fear in the moment, but the doubts you're still feeling. But there is nothing wrong with you. You are smart, sweet, and gorgeous, and any man would be lucky to have you. You need a man to help support and understand you, not shame you.

“Sex isn't everything in a relationship; connection and emotions are. But if sex is something you'd eventually want to explore, the right man will be patient and find what works for you.”

“You're wonderful,” Avery sniffled. “How are you still single?”

I chuckled and squeezed him a little tighter. “Thank you. I guess I just haven't found the right person.” I took a chance and added, “Until now.”

He gave a quiet gasp. “Even after what I just told you, you're still interested in me?”

“Absolutely. I've been drawn to you from the moment you stepped foot in this gym. If you'll let me, I want to spend time together and show you how a man should treat you.”

“That sounds so good,” he whispered into my neck. “But what happens if I can't…I mean, what if you're not able to put…” He shuddered again and I gently shushed him.

I'd already told him that sex wasn't the most important thing to me, but I understood why he was concerned, after everything he'd been through. But I knew something that might help settle his mind a little.

“There's something you don’t know about me too; something that turns away most men. Well, it's a reason why things haven't worked out with any man thus far.”

He raised his head to look at me. His eyes were red and swollen, but still so pretty. “What is it?”

“So many guys take a look at my size and my job, and assume certain things about me; mainly that I'll be aggressive and dominating in bed. But that's not the case. They want a rough ride, and while I’ve done it, it’s not what I prefer. I don't need to be dominated, but like to be on the…receiving…end of things.” I was attracted to men like Avery; smaller and thinner than I was. I'd never met anyone who was comfortable with taking control.

Avery blinked at me before his lips curled into a cute little smirk. “The right man will be patient and find what works for you.” I beamed at his repeated words. “I'm sorry I pushed you away. I should have been honest with you, but it's just so painful to revisit.”

“I understand, but I'm glad you told me. Avery, I want to learn everything about you so I can take care of you in every way you need. I promise to never do anything to hurt you. Will you take a chance on me?”

His smile faded and I braced myself for rejection, but he replied, “If you're willing to take a chance on me.”

There was no doubt in my mind. I wanted to get closer to him, take care of him, and show him just how great life could really be. To seal my promise, I leaned in slowly and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, receiving a beautiful smile in return.

“Do you feel like doing a lesson?” I wasn't eager to let go of him, but I thought it might help take his mind off of things.

He thought for a moment before nodding. “But can we sit like this for a little while longer?”

Whether he needed the support or just wanted to be held, I was thrilled either way. “We'll sit here as long as you like.”

Avery nestled his head against my shoulder again, finally relaxing for the first time since dinner. I'd cradle his body until he was ready for me to show him how to defend it.