Finding Home at Randy’s (Diner Days)

Chapter 5

“ H ey, I’m going to have some friends over, do you mind?”

I look up at Valery and shake my head. “Of course not. It’s your apartment, you can do whatever you want.”

“You live here now too,” they remind me. “I want you to be comfortable.”

“I am. Or, I’m getting there. Did you want me to make myself scarce or something? Is this a sex thing?”

Valery tosses their head back as they laugh, hard. “Oh, my God, no !” They wipe tears from their eyes as they cackle a little more. “I’m going to have to tell them this, they’re going to die . But, no, we’re all just friends. I definitely want you to meet them. I think you’ll like them.”

“Okay, if you’re sure…”

“I’m sure. You need to live a little. Have you explored any of the city since moving here? I know I’ve been busy, and I’m sorry about that, but we can go do stuff next weekend? If you want? I mean, if you have the time off. I don’t even know your schedule. God, I’m a bad friend.”

“You are not, stop that. You’re just a busy friend. And I get it, you have a life. My being here disrupts that. I’m sorry if you’ve felt like you couldn’t do what you normally do with me here, but I promise, I’m fine.” I give them a smile and hope they believe me.

Have I felt a little lonely? Sure, but that’s normal for me. It’s not like I had hordes of friends back home, either. So, even though Valery and I haven’t seen much of each other, it hasn’t made much of a difference in my life.

“Still, I feel horrible. I told Jordan I’d help you, and all I’ve done is dump you in my spare bedroom. I don’t need your cousin coming out here, kicking my ass because I abandoned you.”

I roll my eyes. “You’ve done more than enough. You've put a roof over my head for way too cheap, and now are going to introduce me to your friends.”

They perk up a little. “Yes, you’re right. They’re going to love you. I didn’t expect to ever blend my two lives together, you know? But it feels good introducing you, and letting them get a glimpse of the before.”

My cheeks heat with my blush and I try to laugh through the embarrassment. “I forgot how dramatic you are.”

Valery rolls their eyes. “I’m being serious.”

“I know, which is why it’s funny. Maybe if I were Jordan, it’d be like that, but I’m not. I’m just me.”

“And just you is perfect, Luka.”

My cheeks heat but I tuck the little bit of praise away, letting the good feeling fill me up. Outside of my cousin, not many people in my life think that. To have Valery, who I hadn’t seen in years before I showed up on their doorstep a few weeks ago, reaffirm that who I am is good enough, it is…more needed than I realized. It doesn’t matter how much time passes, or how long I live as myself, there are still lingering doubts and trauma.

Taking a breath, refusing to let those thoughts in any further, I smile at Valery. “Thanks. And don’t worry about it. I know you’ve worked hard to get where you are. I’m proud of you, Val.”

“Thank you. You’re right, I’ve worked damned hard, but it’s nice to hear all the same. So come on.” They tap my knee. “I’m going to throw some dinner together for us all, want to help?”

“Sure, but I hope you warn them I’m not a good cook, so eat with caution.”

Valery laughs. “You say I’m the dramatic one. Come, I won’t let you poison our guests.” They head into the kitchen, amongst a flurry of ruffled skirts and jingling bracelets, and I am helpless to do anything except follow in their wake.

By the time Val’s friends arrive, most of my anxiety over meeting new people has dissipated. That’s one thing I’ve always loved about Valery, they’re usually good at getting me out of my head.

Valery answers the door to their friends, while I put the finishing touches on the charcuterie board they’ve had me put together. When I can’t stall any longer, I take a deep, calming breath, pick up the tray, and carry it out into the living room.

My grip on the tray tightens when I recognize one of the guests as the person who came up to me and Ivy at the diner the other day.

“Hey.” They smile when our eyes meet.

“H—hi,” I stammer.

Valery looks from me to their friend…whose name I cannot remember. “You two know each other?”

Setting the tray down on the coffee table, I reply, “One of my co-workers took me to Randy’s Diner the other day, we met there.”

“Ah, I see. I’m kind of jealous someone else introduced you to Randy’s. I haven’t been for a while, but I love that place; we’ll have to go sometime. Anyway, so you’ve met Denver.” They gesture to their other friend. “And this is Tori.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Tori reaches their hand out. “Val’s told us so much about you.”

Taking their hand in mine, I look over at Valery. “Really? Don’t believe a word out of their mouth.”

Tori squeezes my hand in comfort before letting go. “All good things, I promise. Right, Den?”

Tori and I turn our attention to Denver, and I try not to focus on the way my cheeks heat as I realize their attention is on me. Damn curse of the redheads means I flush far too easily, and I’ve always been a nervous wreck around attractive people. Meaning there’s no way I can hide my reaction to being the focus of Denver’s attention.

Their hazel eyes seem to bore into me, and the way their caramel brown hair sweeps into said eyes makes me want to push it away from their forehead and see if it’s as soft as it looks.

“I promise,” they say, their full lips quirking up into a smile. “It’s only been good things. Mostly about how you were supposed to be their cousin-in-law, but don’t worry, they didn’t tell us any embarrassing stories about you or anything.”

I groan and turn to Valery. “Seriously? You’re still telling people that?”

Val shrugs and sits in their papasan chair, curling their legs under them. “I mean, I would have married Jordan in a heartbeat, had he given any indication he was into that.”

Snorting, I follow their cue and take a seat on the sofa, trying to ignore the fact that Denver sits on my other side, despite there being other seating available. “My aunt would have just loved that,” I mutter.

Val huffs. “She would have convinced herself that Jor is ‘normal’, since, ya know, I have tits and all that.”

We all laugh.

“Speaking of tits,” Tori says, leaning forward from where they’re sitting and grabbing a piece of cheese and salami. “Only three more weeks and I’ll finally be a ‘real girl’, and my tits won’t come off.”

Denver snorts. “I’d rather have a detachable dick than detachable tits.”

Tori throws a napkin at him. “I mean, me too, and I have a detachable dick, thank you very much. But now I’ll be able to take my bra off and not worry about being judged, because all I got from the hormones were little bee stings.”

My face feels like it’s on fire because I’m not used to such…openness. Valery is the only other trans person I know well, and being around them has helped me gain a lot of confidence in what was a very confusing time for me. Sitting here and listening to someone else talk about gender confirmation surgeries and HRT effects…it does things to my insides, making me feel jittery and out of place. Sort of like I used to feel before coming out, but in a good way this time.

I meet Valery’s eyes, and the look they give me says this was…purposeful. I’m sure they did want to spend time with their friends, but this is also their subtle way of saying I’m accepted here. I can be myself openly without worry or judgment.

I can’t stop the prick of tears, or the lump in my throat from forming at the realization.

“You okay?” Denver asks quietly, leaning in closely so as to not disturb Valery and Tori, who’ve moved onto a different subject.

Giving them a watery smile, I nod. “Yeah, I…I’m fine.”

They hold my gaze, their brown and green eyes filled with concern, but they return my smile, and I allow myself to enjoy the way their mouth stretches widely. Hope and freedom curl deep in my gut.