Finding Love in Ivy Falls

Chapter Twenty-One

MANNY

Growing An Extra Heart

I tossed and turned all night. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Tess standing in front of me without a stitch of clothing on. Her beautiful form seared deep into my brain. The heady scent of her rose and spice perfume formed the perfect sense memory.

Even though I wanted that to be my only reminder of the night, I couldn’t shake the chill that seeped into my bones every time I thought about Billy’s sudden appearance. How Tess had gasped like she was beyond shocked to see him. The warning bells blaring in my head that his return wouldn’t be good for anyone in Ivy Falls. And I hated to admit it, but when she called me a ‘friend’, it felt like a slight, even though she didn’t mean it that way.

When the clock blinked four a.m., I finally gave up and stumbled into the kitchen to make coffee. I pulled a notepad off the desk and listed what needed to be tackled today, hoping it would distract me from all the problems Billy was sure to cause. The first thing was calling Ferris and getting his crew straight over to the P&P to fix the leak.

I tugged my hand through my hair, trying to push away the image of Billy following Tess to her car after she locked up. The smirk I swore I saw cross his lips as he eased his body into the passenger seat like it was all part of his plan.

The thought was like a punch to the gut.

I meant what I said about trusting her, but I also saw the way Billy looked at her like she was the answer to all his problems. That he was a total fucking idiot to have left her.

He wasn’t the sharpest tack in the box, but at least he got that right.

The coffee maker let out a small series of beeps. I poured myself a giant mug and went to work preparing Lou’s lunch for the day. I hoped after a good night’s sleep she’d be better this morning or at least ready to talk.

Once I packed up the peanut butter and jelly, chips, apple, and juice pouch, I grabbed my computer and opened YouTube. Maybe if I could figure out that waterfall braid Lou wanted so badly, all would be forgiven.

The braid was an epic disaster. I tried over and over to lay the strands right but couldn’t get them to stay in place. I finally gave up after the tenth try and smoothed Lou’s hair into a ponytail. As I worked the elastic into her hair, I tried to coax her to talk. All I got were one-word answers like the night before.

I made one last attempt by asking her about buying some new toys from the pet store for Fergus who had a birthday next week. That made the little black cloud fade for a moment until I pushed it and asked one more time what was bothering her.

When I dropped her off at school, my teeth rattled at how hard she slammed the door to the truck. I leaned my head against the steering wheel and took in a few long breaths. The parent behind me laid on their horn. Holding up the car line was the least of my problems this morning.

The work crew was waiting when I pulled into the lot in front of the old Thomas Place. Torran’s ancient Ford truck was already parked under a nearby tree. I took my time unloading my tools and carried my belt up to the crumbling porch. Torran’s voice floated out of the kitchen, and I stopped dead when another voice followed.

Lauren.

I shook my head and glanced at the door. The last thing I wanted to discuss was my follower count, or how she wanted more pictures for the show’s website. If I didn’t already have so much work to do here, I would have seriously considered taking the day off.

Overhead, the roofers’ feet pounded out a solid rhythm as they started working on the gabled roof. We’d decided to pay for the more expensive but eco-friendly slate tiles. Now that I’d seen them in the morning light, I knew they were the right choice. I snuck around the side of the house to check the final framing for the new porch. It was a cowardly move, but the last thing I wanted was to have another discussion with Lauren about ‘likes’, ‘follows’ and ‘shares’.

A cool breeze blew across the yard, and I let myself get lost in the rhythm of the work. I loved the scent of fresh sawdust. The push and pull of my muscles as I worked a nail out of a particularly nasty piece of rotted wood. But beyond the physical, I loved the measuring and angles of this job. When I was in college at Middle Tennessee State University, I toyed with the idea of being a math major until the summer between freshman and sophomore year. The summer that changed everything.

A buddy from the football team mentioned his father owned a construction company. During the school break, he offered jobs to the players. It allowed them to stay close to campus for summer workouts but earn money during their downtime.

The day I walked into the main office with my application, my life turned upside down. Seated behind the desk was a gorgeous raven-haired woman who looked about the same age as me. When she took my form, she teased me about my name. Asked if I was from the Tennessee city, Manchester, whose claim to fame was hosting the twenty-four-hour music festival, Bonnaroo, every year.

In a horrible attempt at flirting, I jokingly said, ‘no’, but maybe she could take me to it one time. As if fate intervened, the festival was happening two weekends later. She giggled, introduced herself as Gina, and invited me along with ten of her closest friends. After that weekend, we were never apart again.

Grief mixed with a small touch of shame washed over me. Gina passed over nine years ago, but there were still moments when I woke in the morning and reached for her side of the bed. I didn’t regret what happened with Tess last night. I’d wanted to be close to her since the day we’d first brought our girls to the park months after Billy left, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say there was a pang of guilt, like somehow I was being unfaithful to Gina. I knew it wasn’t rational, but grief didn’t make sense. It showed up in the most unexpected moments, knocking every last bit of air from your lungs.

‘There you are.’ Torran’s paint-splattered, steel-toed boots stopped only inches away. I could hear Lauren’s voice behind her in what sounded like a business call. I wondered how weird it would look if I just kept working. Pretended I was invisible. ‘Have you talked to Tessa today?’ she said more as an accusation than a question. ‘I keep calling her, and she won’t pick up.’

I let loose a low breath. ‘No, I haven’t.’

‘Imagine my shock and surprise when I went to get my coffee at Sugar Rush this morning, and the whole town was buzzing about how Billy hit the old oak near town hall, all in an attempt not to hit Baby. When Barb and Susan looked at me for answers, all I could do was shrug because my own sister won’t answer her damn phone!’

With her fevered voice drawing more than a few stares from our crew, I stood and pulled her across the crumbling porch for a little privacy.

‘You were at the P&P last night,’ she said quickly. ‘Did you see him? Did you see the accident?’

I scrubbed a hand over the back of my neck but stayed quiet. She must have seen the guilt on my face because her cheeks went red.

‘You’re kidding me, right? Tell me you did not walk back into your house last night and not say a word, even though you know how much I hate that bastard!’

If this was a cartoon, steam would have definitely been coming out of her ears. I tugged the baseball cap off my head and rubbed at my already aching temples. ‘It’s complicated, Tor.’

‘Complicated how?’ Before I could answer, she said, ‘Did he say why he was back? Is he staying?’ She lowered her voice. ‘Was he with Trini?’

I pressed my lips together. Shook my head. ‘Those are all questions you need to ask your sister.’

The harsh set of her jaw eased. ‘Crap. Is it that bad?’

I scratched at my hair, wanting to be doing anything but having this conversation with her.

‘Talk to her, Tor.’

‘I would if she’d pick up the damn phone.’ She started to pace until I reached out. Reminded her to breathe.

‘Okay. How are you? Was it weird to see him?’ she asked.

‘Weird?’ I cocked my head.

‘Yeah, because I know you have feelings for my sister. And seeing Billy must have been, well, weird for Tessa. Weird for you both.’

She had no idea.

‘It all happened so fast. We heard the crash. Found the car. After that, police and fire showed up.’

‘They said he swerved to avoid Baby, but did they test him for alcohol or drugs? You know he has a DUI.’

‘Deputy Ben checked him out fully. Billy was stone-cold sober.’

She chewed on her lip. ‘And after that?’

‘We went to the P&P. Tess gave him some ice because his lip was swollen and bleeding.’

‘He was bleeding?’

‘Yeah, but he’s fine.’

‘All right, you talked. What happened next?’

A question I did not want to answer. I strode back to the place where I was working, and Torran was right on my heels.

‘Manny.’ Her voice went piano-wire tight. ‘Where is Billy right now?’

‘Again, Tor. Go speak to Tess.’

‘Dammit! Did he stay at her place?’ She shoved her hands in her pockets and started to pace. ‘How can you be so calm? This is a disaster!’

‘There’s no use in worrying about things you can’t change. Right now I have to focus on what is in my control, which is finishing this porch that we’re three days behind on.’

‘Manny.’ She bent down to look me in the eye. ‘What else is bothering you?’

‘Nothing,’ I said, pounding a nail a little too hard into the new lumber.

‘Liar.’

Shit. I could never play poker. I sucked at bluffing.

I set the hammer down and sighed. ‘Lou’s still mad at me.’

‘Really? She woke up last night, and after I got her into her pajamas, we had milk and cookies. When I put her to bed a little while later, she seemed okay.’

‘Well then, she must be saving all her anger for me.’

‘What did you do wrong?’

‘Why do you assume it’s always me?’

‘Because guys, especially dads, are good at saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.’

‘Thanks for the vote of confidence.’

The last thing I needed was a lecture right now. Not when I had at least five plates spinning, and I was sure every single one of them was going to crash and burn.

‘Manny.’ Her voice dropped like she was sorry. ‘This,’ she made an imaginary square around the two of us, ‘is a no-judgment zone. I’ll stay quiet, and you tell me about Lou.’

‘She’s been quiet and withdrawn lately. When I try to get her to talk, she goes silent. Or worse, she ignores me.’

‘You’ve got good instincts. What do you think is wrong?’

I dragged my hands down my face. ‘Honestly, I have no idea. I talked to Tess about it. She said that maybe Lou’s having issues with friends at school. Or is struggling with a bully. That maybe she could be behind in her classes. I asked about all those things, and all it did was make her angrier.’ I curled my hands around the brim of my hat trying to slow my racing mind. ‘I’m screwing this up, and she’s barely in double digits. What am I going to do when she’s thirteen? Fifteen?’

My voice must have sounded panicked because she reached out and grabbed my hand. ‘We all have bad days. You just need to give her time. She loves you.’

‘I miss Gina so much that it feels like part of my soul is missing. If she was here, she’d know exactly what to do. What to say to make things right.’

‘Lou’s growing up. She’s going to try and push you away, but you need to hang in there. Deep down she knows you’ll always be her safe space to land.’

‘I never thought being a parent would be like growing this extra heart. A heart that you would do anything to protect. A heart that would get stomped on and squeezed and kicked, and yet it would continue to grow fuller with each passing year.’

She flopped an arm over my shoulder. ‘I don’t know much about parenting, but when I watch you and Tessa, you make it look easy. I was a handful for my parents. It makes me wonder if I really ever want to be a mom. That maybe my skills are better at being a super aunt.’

‘You are pretty good at the auntie things, but you also have a major capacity for love. If you decided you wanted to be a mom, I think you’d be a rock star at it.’

‘Right now, my baby is this house. Fixing up the entry so the film crew can get in and out safely.’

As though she had been listening from around the corner, Lauren came into view with a bright, toothy smile. ‘Can we go inside and talk? The network just sent me the contract for Season Three, and it’s a doozy.’

I held out a hand to Torran and pulled her up with me.

‘Don’t let her talk you into any more social media,’ she whispered.

‘Yeah, that’s not happening.’

I followed behind Torran as she chattered with Lauren about the light walnut stain we’d chosen for the hardwood in the entryway.

Two steps over the threshold, my phone rang. I glanced at the screen and quickly answered.

‘Hello?’

‘Manny, it’s Natasha… I mean, Principal Vogel. We’ve had an incident with Louisa this morning. I need you to come to school and speak with me about it.’

‘Is Lou all right?’ I sputtered.

‘She’s fine, but I’m going to have to suspend her for a day.’

‘Suspend her? Why?’

My voice must have banked off the bare structure of the entryway because Torran came flying toward me.

‘What’s going on? Who’s getting suspended?’ she whisper-shouted.

I waved her off and turned my back. ‘Are you sure we’re talking about my Louisa? She’s never been in trouble before.’

‘It’s best if we discuss the situation in person. I know you’re working on the old Thomas Place. Can you take a break and come to the school right now? Louisa is sitting in the nurse’s office. I can’t allow her to return to class. After we speak, you’ll need to take her home.’

‘I’m on my way.’

‘Thank you. I’ll see you soon,’ she said with a tone so sharp it made me clench my back teeth.

‘Manny, what’s wrong with Lou? Is she all right? Why is she being suspended?’

Torran chased me down the cracked sidewalk. Her questions hung in the air like thick summer heat. I didn’t have time to answer as I rushed to my truck, peeled out of the lot and raced in the direction of the school.