Finding Love in Ivy Falls

Chapter Twenty-Seven

TESSA

The Right Amount of Severity and Kindness

Torran took two stalking steps toward me and then stopped when she noticed Manny.

‘Why aren’t you answering my calls, Tessa?’

‘It’s been a weird twenty-four hours,’ was all I could offer.

Torran pressed her lips together like she needed a moment to calm down. ‘I heard the rumors that Billy ran his car into the big old oak near the gazebo.’

All I could do was give her a nod.

‘And just now, I saw that piece of scum leave the hardware store holding an apron like he worked there.’

‘Yes, Mrs Vanderpool offered to talk to Silvio about a job for him,’ I said, trying not to cringe. ‘And he’s going to stay in her garage apartment until he can find a place of his own.’

‘He’s doing what ?’ Her screech banked around the walls of the small office, before she focused on Manny. ‘Is this another thing you kept from me?’

‘No. I didn’t know about it until a little while ago. And this is your sister’s issue to handle. If you haven’t noticed, she’s a grown-ass woman who can fight her own battles.’

A big part of me wanted to press a searing kiss to his beautiful lips. Thank him for not allying with my sister against me. But how could I explain what was happening between Manny and me when even I wasn’t sure what Billy’s sudden arrival meant for us?

Torran gripped the edges of her overalls and began to pace. ‘After everything he’s done, what he’s put you and the girls through, I can’t believe he’d just show up out of the blue and expect you to take care of him again!’

Manny’s gaze swiveled between the two of us. He didn’t need to get caught up in this mess. With everything going on with Lou, he had enough on his plate.

‘Manny, can you give us a minute?’ I said.

‘Of course,’ he said stiffly. ‘I’ll go measure the marble on the buffet so I can try and replicate it for the bar. Then I’ll head back to the old Thomas Place.’

He walked to the door and whispered something in Torran’s ear. The curve of her sharp mouth fell, and she gave a defeated nod.

Once he was gone, Torran sank into the chair near my desk. ‘Manny just reminded me that this is your life, your choices, but I need to understand your decisions, Tessa. Billy’s been gone a long time. Never bothered to come back and see the girls. Help me understand what is happening.’

I tried not to react to what Manny had asked of her. He was like the calming force in a destructive sea. The lull of his low voice the right amount of severity and kindness that made people listen. When he spoke to me that way, I knew I was safe. He reassured me that things would be okay. But all of this felt like a tornado spinning out of control, and I didn’t like that it made me feel untethered. Like I couldn’t quite put all the pieces of my life in the right order.

‘This isn’t about you or me, Tor,’ I said, all the fight going out of me. ‘It’s about what’s best for the girls. All they know is that their dad went away. They don’t understand any of the circumstances behind it, and I will move heaven and earth to make sure they never do.’

Torran tugged back on her ponytail and clasped her hands in her lap. ‘I need you to talk this through with me. Explain why you’re opening yourself to potential pain again.’

‘That was not my plan. I was going to ask him to leave. Find a job and a place to live outside Ivy Falls. That he needs to start financially supporting the girls. Showing up for them when he’s needed. But then, Mrs Vanderpool appeared at my door this morning and screwed it all up.’ I sank lower into my chair. ‘That woman means well, but she’s devoted to Baby. I’m not sure she would ever recover from losing that dog, so I understand why she made Billy the offer.’

‘Why can’t this town stay out of people’s damn business?’ she seethed.

‘This isn’t the ideal situation, but I have to remove myself from the equation.’

Torran shifted uncomfortably in the chair but stayed quiet – which was a miracle for her.

‘Girls who grow up without a father have been shown to have lower self-esteem. They tend to have more physical and mental health issues. Make poor choices when picking a suitable partner. Billy may have been a failure as a husband, but at one time he was a good father to the girls. I can let him have a chance again because I give a damn about Iris and Rose’s future, and even though I hate the thought of having him around, their lives will be better if they have a father who is present.’

The stricken look on my sister’s face said she was finally hearing me. ‘I get it. But how can you be in a room with him and not want to find the heaviest tool and clobber his brain in?’

‘It’s hard, especially when I think about coming home and finding his note. How in that dark moment, a crushing wave hit me, made it difficult to breathe, especially with what was happening to Mom.’ I shook my head like I could erase the awful memory. ‘I’ll admit, when it comes to Billy, I’ve always had a blind spot. Since I was fifteen, he’s had a powerful hold over me. He was the first boy who ever saw me as something more than a bookworm. I latched on to that. Enjoyed his attention. It was why I put up with his crap for so long. He recognized something in me that I’d hidden. That needed to be seen.’

‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘Maybe Dad and Mom and I failed you somehow. That you didn’t know you were more than that.’

‘My issues with Billy have nothing to do with you. He was hot as hell, not to mention charming. Everyone at school loved him, and I sort of fell under that spell. Then I graduated, got pregnant, and it felt like my only choice was to marry him. Settle down in Ivy Falls and be a family.’ I leaned back in my chair, all my bones weary. ‘There were a ton of red flags with him, and I ignored them all. The way he didn’t come home some nights. How people gave me pitying looks in the square, like they knew he was cheating but didn’t have the guts to tell me. I pretended it wasn’t happening because I wanted to hold on to my sweet little family.’

‘Tessa, none of that is your fault. He’s the villain here.’

‘I have to take responsibility for not being strong enough to see the truth. My eyes are wide open now. That’s the only reason he’s still here, because I will hate myself if I don’t give him this chance to be a father to Iris and Rose. What’s between their father and me is dead and gone, but that doesn’t mean that the girls can’t have a relationship with him. As their mother, I owe it to them to try and make this shitastic situation work.’

Tor leaned back. Scrubbed a hand over her face. ‘You’re right. The girls deserve to be happy in every corner of their life. I’ve noticed Iris’ stomach issues. Rose’s night terrors.’

The pain in her voice tore me in two. She loved my girls like they were her own.

‘I will be respectful of your choice. Talk to Dad about it too, but…’ She held my gaze. ‘This time I need you to look for the red flags. If he does anything that warns he isn’t here to make things right with the girls, if he returns to being the same dumbass he’s always been, I need to know you’ll tell him to get lost for good.’

‘I hear you, but the girls, they need him…’

She held up her hand to stop me. ‘Manny. Dad. Beck. Those are three men who can be good father figures for your girls. You have to know that Rose and Iris will never be without support and attention from the people in their lives.’

A knot swelled in my throat. My girls were lucky that they were so loved, but they still needed to see that the man who was their father cared enough about them to stick around. ‘I swear that if he steps even one toe out of line, he’ll be gone.’

Her eyes went soft. ‘I’d never argue with you about your choices for the girls. But you have to know that all of you are the beating hearts in my life. It’d kill me to see you hurt again.’

I smiled at her. ‘I love you too, Tor.’

Her eyes welled, and then she let that curtain of tough exterior take hold. ‘I need to get back to work.’

She moved to the door and hesitated. The cords of stress tight around her shoulders.

There was so much more she wanted to say. To warn me about. But I’d made my decision, and whatever happened next, good or bad, it was all on me.