Finding Love in Ivy Falls

Chapter Thirty-Eight

MANNY

Stuck With Me Forever

Half an hour was too damn long to stand in front of a mirror. A pile of button-down shirts and chinos in an array of bland, business-like colors lay across my bed. Tension built in the back of my neck. It was just a small party to celebrate the opening of the coffee bar. It didn’t have to be a big deal, but my brain was in overdrive. I kept wondering if Tess and I would ignore each other at the store tonight. Or even worse, if we’d do that uncomfortable and awkward nod where we recognized the other’s presence, wanted to be brave enough to say hello, but instead turned back into the crowd to make small talk with all the other residents of Ivy Falls. Residents who I was sure would watch the whole scene and give me a pitying stare that said, Hey Manny, sorry that crush you’ve been nursing for over two years doesn’t seem to be working out.

I let out a small huff, grabbed the denim button-down shirt and slid on the khaki pants. There was no use in looking in the mirror again. I’d only see the disappointment and ache of rejection etched deep into the lines around my eyes and mouth.

‘Pop,’ Lou called out from her room. ‘Can I wear my pretty pink shoes?’

‘Those are for special occasions, Lou.’

The sound of her footsteps filled the hall until she appeared in my doorway. Fergus trotted up beside her and nudged her into the room. ‘Please can I wear them? They match perfectly with my flowered skirt, and Miss Tessa’s new coffee thing sounds like it’s special.’

She spun in a circle, the long fishtail braid it’d taken me over an hour to complete swinging like a rope behind her.

‘You’re right, Lou Lou. This is a special occasion.’

She rushed forward and gave me a crushing hug. ‘Thank you.’

‘ Raisins! ’ Mr Peepers screeched from his cage in the kitchen.

No F-word. That was a first. Maybe Lou’s training was finally paying off.

‘Did you give Fergus his dinner?’

‘Yes. And before you ask, Reggie’s cage is clean, and he has new water.’

‘That’s my girl.’

She gave me an appraising gaze. ‘That shirt looks good. I think Miss Tessa will like it.’

The bright look in her eyes said she still believed there was a chance something might happen between Tess and me. That things would go back to normal. Town gossip, as much as I hated it, said Billy disappeared after Christmas, and no one had seen him since. More than once I’d considered just picking up the phone, breaking the unbearable silence between us, but I wasn’t sure what choice Tess would make next, and I’d also been doing a lot of thinking of my own.

Late at night when the house was quiet, the bird no longer squawking, Fergus snoring quietly at my feet, I’d paged through the scrapbooks Gina had made of our first years together, and then after Lou arrived. I loved Lou’s little gummy smiles. The infectious light emanating from Gina as she held her newborn in her arms.

For so long, I’d held on to the memory of her. The laughter. Tears. But most of all the love that felt like it was larger than every constellation in the sky. Tess had broken the barrier I’d built around my heart. With her gentle smiles, quiet laughter, she’d made me see that it was time to move on. To not let go of Gina, but to put my love for her in a separate chamber of my heart. To open up a new place for the right person. Was that person Tess? I hoped so, but whatever came next, I was ready to start a new chapter not only for me but for Lou too.

I sank onto the bed and patted the spot beside me.

‘Lulubean, we should talk about Miss Tessa and the girls.’

She scraped the toe of her pink shoe against the carpet before trudging toward the bed.

‘Iris and Rose’s father is going to be a bigger part of their lives now.’

The confused look in her eyes warned she still didn’t understand what was happening. ‘I don’t get it. Where has their daddy been all this time?’

I took a moment. No child should ever have to hear that a parent could, and would, walk away from them.

‘He left for a while, but he’s back now and wants to be part of their lives.’

Her lower lip quivered. ‘Can daddies do that? Just go away?’

I pulled her in closer to my side. ‘There are many complicated things that happen to adults.’

She looked up at me with watery eyes. ‘It’s just like Brittany said. Parents can leave.’

‘Oh, sweetie, no. You’re stuck with me forever. You’ll have to take care of me when I’m old and gray. Help me find my teeth when I lose them.’

‘Your teeth? Why would you lose your teeth?’ Her voice bordered on panic.

‘It’s only a joke, honey,’ I said, trying to reassure her. ‘This is all very confusing, and I know that being away from Tess and the girls during the holidays was rough. But you’ll see them all tonight, and slowly we’ll all figure out what happens next.’

I said the words, not knowing if they were a hundred percent true, but Lou needed this. Needed some kind of confirmation that she wasn’t losing both Tess and the girls all at once.

‘Okay,’ she said hesitantly like she still didn’t understand the situation.

‘There is one other thing we have to talk about.’

‘I know what you’re gonna say,’ she sighed. ‘I need to do a better job of feeding Fergus and Reggie on time.’

‘Yes, but that’s not what I mean.’

Words tossed around inside my brain, and I knew the best way to handle the situation was to say it simply.

‘I’ve decided I’m not going to do the TV show after this season is over. Miss Torran and I will still work on houses together, be partners, but I won’t be involved in the production anymore.’

‘Why? I thought you and Miss Torran were good at it. That’s what everyone in town says, even Old Mrs Vanderpool, and you know she doesn’t always say nice things.’

I stifled a laugh. ‘It’s kind that she said that, but I think it’s better if I focus on you and me more. This way things won’t be so uncomfortable on the street too. People bothering me for pictures.’

‘So no Harry Styles? No Dolly?’

I patted her head. ‘Afraid not, honey.’

She deflated like a balloon with a small leak. ‘Okay, but will you miss doing it? Showing off your work?’

‘That was one good part of it, but the rest was a little too much.’

She shrugged. ‘I was getting used to the staring. It was also kind of cool to see how excited people got when they took a selfie with you.’

I must have visibly flinched because she set her small hand on my shoulder.

‘Being an influencer is a big deal, Pop. Brittany says those people get free stuff sent to them. They also get vacations to anywhere they want just for talking about a hotel on their channels.’

‘You’re speaking to her now?’

‘Yeah. At recess yesterday, we sat down at the lunch table with our friends and talked it out. We’re all good now.’

If only life was as easy as having an honest talk around a school lunch table.

‘I think you should keep doing the show.’ She paused, her eyes flashing with regret. ‘Not because I want anything free, or to meet celebrities, but because you’re good at it. I think people need to see all the hard work you and Miss Torran are doing for Ivy Falls.’

‘ Raisins! Raisins! Raaaaaaisins! ’ Mr Peepers sang.

She bounced off the bed and gave me a wide grin. ‘Before you even say it, I’m going to get him some water. Go over the phrase again.’

Once she was gone, I moved back to the mirror. Those small spots around my ears were even whiter now. I tugged at my shirt and smiled, thinking about Lou. The way she’d figured out how to fix her own world without my help. I only wished things could be that easy for me and Tess, but she had to make her own choices. I’d carved out a special place in my heart for her, and I couldn’t imagine Tess and the girls not being part of our lives, even if it was just as friends.

In the end, Tess would have to decide what was best for her and her family, and I hoped that somehow, in some way, Lou and I would be part of that plan.