Finding Our Reality (The Reality Duet #2)

Chapter 4

ELLA

It’s very stinky.

Is it supposed to smell this bad?

I lift the Long Island Iced Tea to my nose and sniff again. I stifle a cough and place it back down on the sleek wooden bar in front of me. Cullen notices and asks if I need anything. Who knew Ridge’s little brother would grow up to be so damn sexy? If only I were a couple of years younger.

I chuckle under my breath. Then what? I would date him? Be with him? Close my eyes and pretend his touch is someone else’s? I did that for too many years and it didn’t end so well.

I can’t believe Ry is here. In town. Working with Marcum. Working on my sister’s case. The whole thing is freakin’ unbelievable. I can’t believe Marcum lied to me. It makes no sense. Why would he do that? I wish I had given in to the urge to web search Ry’s name. Multiple times over the years, I started to do it, but each time I quickly deleted his name and tried to wipe his face from my memory. Now, I wish I had done it. At least, I could have been mentally and emotionally prepared for today.

Words can’t describe what went through my mind when I heard his voice. Before I got angry, it tickled my senses. Pure euphoria flowed through me. Delicious. Sweet. Orgasmic. Warm life poured into my dead body, and for a brief moment, I forgot all the pain and heartache of being without him, of surviving what I survived, of losing every person in my life so quickly.

But then I remembered.

I remembered the pain. The horror. The trauma. And I remembered that I will never forgive him. For leaving me, for making that decision for the both of us.

I run my fingertips across my lips, spreading my lip gloss, thinking. But, damn, if he didn’t look good. Time has morphed the boy into the man. Sensitive parts of my body swell just picturing him. His hair is styled a little shorter now, and the color is a shade darker. His pale green eyes are still the most gorgeous color I’ve ever seen, almost translucent and trimmed in an almost-black hunter green. His shoulders are broader. His forearms are corded with thicker muscle, making the veins pop and protrude. He’s tall and firm and wonderfully glorious. And based on the way that receptionist girl jumped to his rescue, his extra-large dick must still be in fine operating order.

It should be a sin for an asshole to look that good. All assholes should be ugly. They shouldn’t be sexy, strapping men. They should be sniveling, little weasels.

I’m caught off guard when the barstool beside me moves. “First, there’s the cussing.” He reaches out and grabs a lock of my hair, twisting it between his fingers. “Then, there’s your hair.” He drops it and nods down at my drink. “And now, there’s this.” He grabs my glass, spinning it around. “Lulu drinking. You’re right, a lot of things have changed in nearly twelve years.”

I push the drink away from him, careful not to brush my fingers against his. “I’m thirty years old. I don’t need to worry about lowered inhibitions anymore. A drink is just a drink.”

“You’re not thirty yet. One more month.”

He remembers my birthday.

He reads my mind. “It’s Valentine’s Day. Kind of hard to forget.”

Bastard.

“Is there something I can help you with?” I smirk, trying to bite back my grin because I know what’s coming.

“Well, somehow, I think you already know. But I just got off a conference call with the sheriff, the mayor, and the chief of the city police. Imagine my surprise, when they informed me that the brilliant Ella Hill wants to provide her services to the forgotten case of her missing older sister. Apparently, someone promised them involvement in a TV show if the case gains traction.”

“I didn’t promise them a TV show; I don’t have the power to do that. I simply said that it would make for good TV if the case actually went somewhere, and I have multiple lines of communication with all of the major TV news magazines and crime channels.”

He scoffs. “I didn’t even know what they were talking about. I had to put them on hold and web search your name.”

“You’ve never googled me before?”

“Nope. And I can only assume by your reaction today that you didn’t search for me either.”

“Nope.” His brow furrows. I can’t believe it, but that actually hurt his feelings. I sigh, “Well, you’re not good at groveling, that’s obvious. You could’ve just called to give me the news. Why’d you come here?” I tip my chin in the air. “Speaking of, how’d you know where to find me?”

“Your SUV is still in the parking lot at the station. I knew you couldn’t have gone far.”

I mock him with a bitchy reply. “Well, he does know how to investigate.” I bring the glass to my lips but lower it before taking an actual drink.

He bypasses my snarky comment. “You still drive the same thing?”

“It was just sitting at my parents’ house. It drives perfectly fine. Why would I toss away something good?”

I side glance at him, waiting for him to tire of my catty comments, but he’s doing quite well at hiding his feelings, all things considered. Cullen walks over from the opposite end of the bar.

“Crutch, what’ll it be?”

“Just a beer. Thanks, Cullen.”

Are you kidding me? I sit up straight, holding on tightly to my purse with the evidence bags tucked neatly inside. My eyes dance between the two of them. “You know each other? I mean, of course, you know each other, but…” I turn to Cullen. “You remember him?”

Cullen is completely confused by my reaction. Back in the day, Ridge never got into any specifics about my situation with his younger brother. Cullen just knew Ry was my boyfriend for a while, and then he wasn’t. He was just the guy who helped out when the tornado came through their neighborhood. I’m sure they’ve all shared a little bit more with him, now that we’re all older, but he’s never come right out and told me that he knows everything about my past.

“Yeah, he comes in here a couple of times a week. Why?”

I bore a hole into the side of Ry’s beautiful face.

Look at me, dummy.

His jaw twitches as he takes a long pull from his beer. A more expensive beer than what he used to drink. “You come in here all the time?”

“It’s two blocks away from the department. It’s a cop bar, Lulu. We all hang out here.” He waves his hand back at several of the tables, indicating that other patrons filling the seats must be deputies or cops as well.

I try to swallow, but I can’t. Has everyone lied to me? Every person in my life? “If you know Cullen, you must know Will, Raylee’s husband.”

Right then, Will comes walking around the back of the bar, carrying a case of beer. He freezes the second he sees Ry and me, sitting next to one another like long lost pals. “Oh, shit.”

I lean forward, growling at him. “Shit doesn’t even begin to describe the mess all of you are in.” I twist in my seat, blocking the side of my face with my hand, like that will magically make me disappear from Ry’s line of sight. “You knew he was in town? All of you knew? For all these years? And he comes into the bar! He’s actually hanging out with my family! What the hell, Will?”

Will reaches out, covering my hand with his. “Ella, why don’t we go in the back and talk about—”

I jump off the bar seat, wrapping my purse around me. “No. I think I’ve had enough shock for one day from the people I know. Maybe it’s time I find a stranger to talk to. Maybe a stranger will be more truthful than my own family.” I stalk away to the pool tables, searching for some distance.

Thirty minutes later, I’m in the middle of a game of pool with a younger girl—probably just twenty-one—when a ruckus at the front catches my attention. I nearly laugh when I see Raylee standing in the middle of the front door, legs spread out, eyes scanning the room. She looks like a gunslinger. But I don’t laugh. Because I remember I’m mad at her. Pissed, actually. Will is standing behind the bar and he nods in my direction. Ry moved from the bar to a table about fifteen minutes ago, and he’s been watching me, making my brain toss and turn like a rolling tumbleweed.

Raylee stops in her path when she sees him. She points her finger in his face, hissing. “Why couldn’t you just stay away from the bar for a while?” He at least has the decency to look sheepish.

Her eyes catch mine, and I quickly spin away, pretending to watch the girl’s next shot. She misses.

Raylee touches my back. “Ella, I’m so sorry you had to find out this way. Can we talk for a minute?”

“Why? So you can lie to me some more?” I make my shot.

“Don’t be like that to me. You know we are always on your side. And we only want what’s best for you. Now, you can come with me to the back to talk, or I can have Will and Cullen physically drag you to the back and tie you up, forcing you to listen to me. Your choice.”

Dramatic much?

I apologize to the girl for my hasty exit and hand my pool cue to her friend. Pulling my shoulders back, I walk with my head held high to the back room. I turn around, leaning against the crates of booze and liquor. Immediately, the door swings open and Will joins us.

“So, you all knew,” I say it as a statement and not a question. “How long have you known?”

Raylee sighs, biting her lip. “Years.” She waits to see if I’m going to interrupt her before she continues. “Marcum told us. Well, he called Dad when Crutch discharged from the service and started to talk about joining the sheriff’s department.”

“And you just welcomed him back with open arms?”

She shakes her head vehemently, and Will reaches around, gently rubbing his wife’s back. “Of course not, Dad told Marcum that he best keep Crutch out of his sight. Dad threatened to kill him if he even laid eyes on him. He could never forgive him for what he did to you. What he did to…” Her voice trails off, growing thick with emotion.

I bite my own cheek, using the pain to keep my eyes dry. “But now you’re friends with him?”

Will jumps in. “This was already a cop bar when I bought it four years ago. Crutch had already been coming in here. At first, I didn’t realize it was him until Cullen pointed it out. By then, I had already had a few conversations with the guy. I just couldn’t bring myself to throw him out. I’m sorry.”

Raylee turns around, sitting down on a crate. “It looks way worse than it is. Trust me. It’s not like we invite the guy over for family dinner and games of charades. We just don’t throw him out of the bar. Dad’s run into him a few times and let him live. So, we aren’t giving him friendship—just booze at a reasonable price and the ability to keep breathing.”

“But why not tell me?”

She lowers her voice, trying to soothe me, trying to calm me. She really is a great mom. “You said you didn’t wanna know where he was, sweetie. Every time one of us tried to talk to you about it—about him —you shut us down. You said you never wanted to hear his name, never wanted to think about him again. You said you didn’t care where he was.”

I purse my lips. “I know what I said, Raylee. But I didn’t actually think he was drinking beer with my cousin-in-law and working ten-hour days with my adoptive father.” I straighten the zipper on my purse, looking down. “Did you tell him? Did you tell him about what happened?”

“Of course, not! Never.”

I glance at Will. He reaches out, grabbing my hand. “I know what we did was wrong. Keeping this from you. But Crutch and I never talked about you. I promise. He knows better. As soon as I found out who he was, I told him that you were off topic. He didn’t even know I was your cousin until Cullen told him.”

I nod, trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. That’s hard to do. Even with my own family, it’s hard to do.

Raylee stands up, stretching her back. “For what it’s worth, he seems to be a decent guy. Marcum speaks highly of him. The newspaper has done a few articles about crimes he’s worked. I think he regrets leaving you. Not that it makes up for anything, I just thought you should know.”

“Well, he should regret it. I hope he tosses and turns every night, just thinking about the way he walked away from me, away from what we had.” I snort. “Besides, he can’t be that decent of a guy. He’s only been back in my life for a few hours, and I’ve already run into a girl he’s had sex with. He works with her. And she’s freakin’ married. Can you believe that?”

Will and Raylee share a look. The kind of look that married couples give one another. “What? What was that look for?”

“Nothing.”

“No more lies, no more secrets. Tell me. Tell me right now.”

Raylee takes a step closer to Will. “Well, it’s just… he’s still a very attractive man. Probably more so now than when you were involved with him. And, well, when you’re attractive and single…”

Fury covers my body like a raging case of the hives. It makes me want to charge out there and punch him in the face. Punch him until he bleeds. Until he can’t walk. Until he can’t even function. “You’re telling me he’s a man-whore.”

Will tries to defend him. Somewhat. “No, it’s not that bad. He just leaves the bar. With women. On occasion.”

“Maybe he’s just trying to forget you the only way he knows how.”

I clench my fists. “It’s been nearly twelve years, Raylee. He forgot me a long time ago. That’s plain as day. You can’t tell me he’s sticking it in any woman with a hole between her legs because his heart was broken over a decade ago. He was a sex fiend before we met, and he was probably just counting down the seconds until he could start his dick taste-testing again.” I click my heels, walking away from Will and Raylee and saying on my way out, “Well, let’s just give him a taste of his own medicine, huh? Game on.”

Before the back-room door slams, I hear a confused Will ask, “What the hell does that mean?”