Finding Our Reality (The Reality Duet #2)

Chapter 22

ELLA

Today is going to be a shitty day.

I knew it when I went to sleep last night, and I knew it the second I woke up. This date is always a shitty day. Trust me, more difficult anniversaries are coming up, but this day still sucks. And despite the good times, rekindling friendship, and building sexual tension between me and Ry over the past few months, there’s not going to be anything he can say or do to make this day any better.

He already tattooed this date into my memory. Twelve years ago, this date changed the events of my future. It set me on a completely different course from where I thought I would be.

And I hate him for it.

Regardless of the fact that I am completely and totally still in love with him… I hate him for this.

And I have no intentions of hiding my bad mood from him.

I pick up my cell phone the second I hear a work email ding. Punching out a response, I’m acutely aware of someone staring at me. “Why are you staring at me?”

“You’re sitting at my desk. I’m allowed to stare at you.” Marcum cocks his head to the side. “Are you in a bad mood today?”

“Of course not.”

“Nancy says the exact same thing, using the exact same tone when she’s in a bad mood. Did something happen I should know about?”

“Don’t be absurd. I’m just responding to an email. Since when does concentrating mean I’m in a bad mood.”

Marcum holds his hands up like a hostage. “Point taken.”

I’m clicking send when something hits my chest and bounces down onto my lap. Startled, I yelp, sitting up straight. I pick up the silver wrapped protein bar and turn it over in my hand. “Really?”

“Maybe you’re hungry. That definitely makes me grumpy.”

“Who’s grumpy?” Ry’s voice pours over my body like hot molasses.

Damn him and his seductive growl.

“Ella.” Marcum’s voice overlaps with mine.

“No one.” Grunting, I toss the protein bar back in his face.

Ry walks around to the side of the desk. “You’re in a bad mood?”

Stiffening my spine and squaring my shoulders, I purse my lips. “No. But if you guys don’t stop your harping, I’m gonna show you exactly what kind of mood I can be in.”

“Okay. Point taken.” Ry winks at Marcum, making my blood boil.

I slap my hand on the desk, grabbing his attention. “Do you actually plan on working on my sister’s case today? Or do you just wanna saunter around making useless small talk?”

Ry lifts his eyebrows and stares at me with his translucent green eyes, making me feel one split second of shame for my harshness.

“Alright.” After drawing the simple word out over ten syllables, he waves a thumb drive in my face. “Finally received all of Trey’s prison records—visitor logs, phone calls, everything.” He licks his lips, making me quickly reach for the comfort of the scar on my neck. “That’s why I called you in today. But if you have other projects you need to—”

I jump up from my seat, cutting him off. “Are you deranged? We’ve been waiting on these for months.” I grab my work bags and snatch the thumb drive from his fingertips.

I don’t even bother to say thank you because I am, in fact, grumpy.

***

The setting May sun burns the sky in brilliant hues of pink and orange. I can’t believe how hot it is already. I bet this summer will be miserable.

His voice catches me off guard, making me stumble against a divot in the sidewalk. His muscular hand darts out, wrapping around my upper arm, helping me catch my balance.

As soon as I’m steady, I tear into him. “What’s wrong with you?! You can’t just walk up on someone like that! You scared me.”

“I can’t help it if you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings, Lulu. It’s not like I was being quiet. Don’t blame me because you were daydreaming.”

“I was not daydreaming.” I turn and walk to the corner of the street, looking both ways before crossing to the bar. “Why are you following me?”

“Following you? I’m not following you. I’m going to the bar for a drink. Call me crazy, but for some reason, I’m stressed out after being trapped in a room with you all day.”

Me? Stress him out? Please. My jaw falls open and I plant my hands on my hips. “Excuse me? I can’t help it if you weren’t being very observant today. Part of my job is to point out things that others may have missed.”

He’s changed out of his work polo and into a soft green T-shirt. The hem catches on his belt and gifts me with a small glimpse of his stomach when he tosses his hands in the air. “It’s hard to find something when you don’t even give me the opportunity to look. We make a great team, Lulu, but our jive was definitely off today. Something is wrong, and I just wish you would tell me what it is.”

I debate saying it. For a minute I do debate it. Then I realize that this day changed the course of his life too. He should remember it. It was a pretty fucking momentous day.

Instead of answering, I just stand there, staring at him, willing him to grow a brain and remember. Wanting him to be the sensitive man I know he can be.

A group of guys cuts around our standoff in front of the bar. But not before one of the guys checks me out. He’s not shy about it and even hisses a sound of appreciation between his teeth. I’m wearing a white blouse and a blue skirt, with nude wedges on my feet. I glance over at the guy and watch as his eyes trail slowly up every inch of my legs. He’s fairly cute. Maybe a couple of years younger than me, if I had to guess.

Ry takes a step in his direction. “Hey, asshole, eyes to yourself.”

Ignoring Ry, the guys walk into the bar, and I stomp my foot like a child throwing a tantrum. “What was that?”

Ry glances from the door to me and back again. “Are you being serious right now? That guy was checking you out.”

“Yeah. So?”

“Oh, excuse me!” Ry bows like he’s begging for an apology. “I didn’t realize you needed affirmation from random strangers on how sexy you look. The Lulu I know is pretty damn confident without it.”

“Shut up. It’s not about that, and you know it. I have to deal with women fawning all over you all the time. I bought stock in four major condom companies because of you. And you can’t even stand for one guy to look at me. Kind of a double standard, don’t you think?”

I don’t give him time to respond. I swing open the door and charge my way to the bar. Will’s not working tonight, it’s just Cullen and one of the other bartenders. I plop down at the edge of the bar and immediately order a Long Island Iced Tea. In frustrating fashion, the only other available barstool is caddy corner next to me, and I’m not lucky enough for him to sit at a table tonight. Oh, hell no, he’ll sit next to me just to drive me crazy.

“Uhhh… everything okay, guys?” Cullen sits my drink in front of me and opens a beer for Ry.

We answer at the exact same time. “Yes” for me and “No” for him.

“So, which is it?”

Ry leans forward, pointing a finger at me. “She would have you believe everything is just fine, but it’s not. And she refuses to tell anyone what’s wrong.” He guzzles his beer and scoffs. “Women.”

“Like you know women.” I lift the drink to my lips and sniff it before setting it back down. “The only thing you know about women are which holes make you happy. Fortunately for you, it’s easy to figure out. One has lipstick, the other has pubic hair.”

Ry leans over, invading my personal space. The scent of his soap mingles in the air. His whisper is ragged, like his voice is being dragged across glass. “If I recall correctly, one woman I know shaved bald. And she loved it when I touched her and tasted her smooth skin. It made her moan and scream.”

Well, I walked right into that one.

Snatching my purse and drink off the counter, I hop down from the bar. “Cullen, I’m going in the back room. I have a work phone call I need to return.”

I pace around the storeroom for a good ten minutes before finally calming down enough to come out. As soon as I open the door, I see Ry walking toward me. The expression on his face is easy to read—concern, worry, regret. He’s coming to apologize. Except he’s wanting to apologize for his behavior today, not his behavior from twelve years ago that he can’t even remember.

Glancing around for an escape, I spot my admirer and his group of friends mingling around the pool tables. I make a beeline for them before I can change my mind. It’s been a while since I’ve left the bar with someone. I think that’s just what Ry needs to see right now.

Sliding next to the stranger, I gently squeeze his bicep with my free hand. “Hi. I just wanted to say I’m sorry for my friend’s behavior. It was completely uncalled for.”

Out the side of my eye, I watch as Ry freezes in his tracks. He definitely doesn’t like what he sees. His jaw clenches and hands ball into fists. When the guy wraps his arm around my waist, it takes literally all my strength to stay relaxed and not stiffen my spine. I must fake it pretty good because Ry drags his hand over his sexy three-day scruff and turns around, leaving me to my own destructive devices.

“Friend? Not a boyfriend?”

I shake my head. “No, I’m single.”

He smiles. He has a dimple on his left cheek. In my wedges, I’m about an inch taller than him. He doesn’t seem to mind though. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. I’m Alec.”

“Ella. Nice to meet you.”

“You play pool, Ella?”

I smile widely, flashing my white teeth. “I can hold my own, Alec.” Setting my drink and purse on a shelf, I grab a cue and hand it to him, mentally buckling myself up for the night. I wouldn’t give Ry the satisfaction of climbing out of this car if it were on fire and careening off a cliff.

Two hours of flirting, smiling, laughing, and fake drinking have worn me out. Fortunately, Alec’s young—twenty-four—and he’s horny. By nine, he’s pulling me into full body hugs and whispering in my ear.

It doesn’t feel like Ry. Ry’s whispers are hot and dry, sending shivers from my neck down to the base of my spine. Alec’s are loud and wet. They make me wanna clean my ears with a towel.

Alec kisses my cheek. “You wanna get out of here?”

About damn time. “Yes.”

“Let me use the restroom and say goodbye to the guys. I’ll meet you by the door.”

Stepping to the side, out of Ry’s piercing glare from his perch at the bar, I roll my shoulders and take several deep breaths. I’ve been holding my tension in check, and I’m about to explode. Sighing, I swing my purse around my shoulder and grab my tepid and smelly drink. Long Island Iced Teas smell even worse when they get hot.

Putting on a brave face, I make my way to the bar. Leaning across, I put my glass on the edge closest to Cullen. “Bye, C. See you later.”

He grabs my hand, nearly causing me to knock over the glass. “Seriously, Ella? You’re doing this again? Raylee is gonna flip out.”

“Then don’t tell her.”

Pulling from his grasp, I spin around and run smack dab into Ry. A very unhappy Ry. “What the hell, Lulu? You’re going home with that asshole?”

“He’s not an asshole. He’s actually a nice guy. And what I do is none of your concern.”

His eyes flash with anger, instantly coloring them five shades darker. “You’re always my concern. Always.”

The possessiveness in his voice makes my heart stop beating. I instantly reach around, running my fingertips across my scar. My voice is weak, almost invisible underneath the music pouring from the overhead speakers. “I shouldn’t be, though, should I? I shouldn’t be your concern.”

He takes a step closer, pressing his body to mine, trying to erase the distance between us. “Why are you doing this? You’re killing me. Luella Margaret Hill, you’re killing me.”

I lift my chin. My nose and lips graze against his cheek. He shivers, and it’s then that I tell him what he should already know. “It’s our anniversary.”

He leans backward, studying my face. “Huh? What are you talking about?” He knows it’s not the anniversary of when we met. He knows it’s not the anniversary of our first kiss. Not the first time we had sex.

“It’s our anniversary, Ryland Joseph Crutchfield. Exactly twelve years ago today, I received a letter telling me to hate you. So this is me, doing what you asked.”

His face instantly shatters into a million pieces. I should feel good, but I don’t. I feel just as shattered. But I couldn’t be the only one suffering here. He deserves to bear some of this.

Stepping around his massive frame, I head to the front door, gasping when Alec squeezes my waist. Laughing, he holds the door open for me. “Sorry about that, didn’t mean to scare you.”

I walk out into the warm air, unable to look back at Ry. “That’s fine.”

He points to the side of the building. “So, I’m parked right around the corner. Wanna ride with me?”

“Where do you live?”

He names a large apartment complex that’s about two miles away. I nod. “I know right where that is. It’s probably best if I drive. I have an early morning. Give me ten minutes, and I’ll meet you there. I drive a white sedan. What’s your apartment number?”

“34B. But I really don’t mind bringing you back to your car whenever you want. I can get up early. We can have breakfast together.”

Oh Alec, you’ll make someone very happy. That someone just isn’t me.

“That’s okay. Ten minutes.” I kiss him on the cheek and walk away.

Twenty minutes later, I’m lying in my bed, crying into my pillow. Alone.

Just the same feeling I’ve had every night for the past twelve years.