Finding the Forward, Part One (HockeyVerse)

Chapter Four

Grif

“ I s there any jealousy now that you, Soeng, and Double D are all together full-time?” the reporter asked after our sold-out home opener, which we’d won.

I laughed. “How could I be jealous of a guy whose literal job is to protect the love of my life? Also, Jonas is family.”

No, no jealousy for my husband’s bonded alpha. We were a pack. While we didn’t always get along, we cared about each other. A lot.

“You’re forming a pack, right? What took so long? After all, you and Double D have been a couple longer than you haven’t,” another inquired, shoving their microphone in my face.

“Me. If I knew all it took to get on the same team as them was to win a championship, I would’ve done it years ago.” I flashed them a big smile.

They all laughed. Our PR person caught my eye and mouthed good answer.

“That was a great game tonight. You’re bringing it,” the first reporter added.

“Thanks. I love how welcoming the fans have been.” Tonight, I’d played even better than the other games this season as I continued to push myself to the limit.

It wasn’t enough. I could see it in the coaches’ eyes.

I answered a few more questions, went into the locker room, put away my mouth guard, and took off my skates. Our locker room at the arena was bigger and more open than the one at the training facility.

It had gleaming wooden stalls for our gear, lockers, and an enormous TV screen. On the floor was a plush black rug with the Knights logo. There were also restrooms, showers, the training room, the equipment manager’s office, and a small area with some couches and chairs. I thought it looked fancy, but Jonas said it looked like a spaceship.

Frustration flooded me as our coaches went over a few things with us. Even a plunge into the ice bath and a shower couldn’t quell my worry.

No, I couldn’t get traded before our pack charter was approved and our agents negotiated a pack contract. Then, I’d no longer lie awake at night worrying about being traded away from them. We’d be a package.

The Knights knew that. It could be why they were trying to get rid of me now.

Not to mention, we didn’t want to be traded. We were happy in New York, well, unless Boston ever wanted us. Hometown pride and all.

Carlos fist-bumped me, half-dressed. Slighter and shorter than me, he had tanned skin, dark hair, and brown eyes.

Okay, on this team everyone was shorter than me and almost everyone slighter.

“I haven’t had so much fun during a game since college. I have ideas,” he told me. Carlos was one of last year’s rookies and a local. Before being a Knight, he’d played for our farm team, the Bantams.

“I can’t wait to hear them,” I grinned. At first I’d been unsure how well we’d work together since I didn’t have much experience with kappas. But we made a good team.

Kappas were adrenaline junkies and thrill seekers–who didn’t always make the best choices.

Which could be why they were a rare designation.

“We’re going to Tito’s after the game. Coming?” Carlos added.

“Only if Grif will dance with me.” Dean joined me, freshly showered, in only a towel. Water slicked his strawberry blond hair to his head, drops gleaming on his freckled nose.

For a moment, I pulled my husband to me. I slow-danced with him in the middle of the locker room to a song only we could hear. He laid his head on my shoulder, happiness lacing his cozy scent.

This. I wanted this. Always. I wasn’t about to let anyone take it from me.

“Are you injured, Love? You hit the ice pretty hard on that one save.” Jonas joined us, also in only a towel. He looked Dean up and down, dark eyes narrowing, scarred jaw firming, as he scanned his omega for injuries.

Dean rolled his green eyes. “I’m fine, Babes.”

“Grif, can we talk?” Elias Royce jerked his head toward the seating area.

“Sure.” My heart sank. The feeling of not being good enough had driven me my entire life. Winning a championship ring had done nothing to fix it.

Winston, his packmate and our co-captain joined us, his dark, bald head gleaming. He played forward and sat out a good chunk of last season with injuries.

“That was a good game,” Elias started, shifting his weight. He’d been nursing a hip injury in the off-season.

“But it wasn’t enough, was it? Shit. I worked fucking hard.” Anguish tinged my voice. How much more could I give?

“I know. You’re an asset to this team. You put in the work, you do your job, and the team likes you. Also, you make Double D happy, and the team likes a happy goalie,” Winston assured, his arm around his packmate.

“While we all know you played the shit out of last season so you could be with Double D, something else had to be in play that last game to make it so phenomenal. Who else was watching? Did someone say something to you? Think hard about what you did differently,” Elias added, rubbing his bare chin.

There was that hockey superstition. I couldn’t simply have a good game. Something had to have made the game good.

I raked my hand through my damp hair. There was only one thing left. A sigh escaped my lips as I looked away. “I can’t find her, okay?”

“Wait, do you think it’s her who made you play like that, not us? Is that why you’ve been thinking of her?” Dean, now dressed in a suit, came over and draped an arm around me.

I put a hand over my face, suppressing an inward groan. “Of course it was you, not her, that made me play that well. But I’ve tried everything.”

Like I’d made a list and systematically worked my way through it.

Elias shrugged. “Oh. Well, if it’s as simple as that, let’s get her. It can’t hurt.”

“I told you, I can’t find her. I even called her university. She withdrew, and they won’t tell me where she went.” Even before the season began, I’d looked for her because Dean wanted his sweatshirt back.

Also, I’d wanted to check on her. Her fear still haunted me.

“We’ll give the social media team a pic and they’ll find her,” Winston suggested.

I shook my head. “That’s a nice offer, but I’m not ready to plaster her picture all over social media yet.”

“Did you try hiring a private investigator?” Winston’s head cocked.

Oh. That would’ve saved me a lot of time.

“Whatever you need to do, do it,” Elias told me. “I want you to stay on the team.”

“We can check with the Maimers, too,” Dean assured me, giving me a squeeze.

“The Maimers. That’s it. Her sister was trying for a discovery league in Rockland. If I can find the sister, maybe I can find her.” I snapped my fingers.

“You can also hire a PI like a normal person,” Winston replied.

Or I could keep looking at pictures of Verity online like a creepy stalker. “I’ll work on it.”

Returning to my stall, I finished getting dressed.

“Tito’s?” Dean asked, doing up the buttons of my shirt for me. We always came and went from the arena in suits.

“Sure.” I didn’t enjoy going out after games, but I did it to be social. And, well, he did want a slow dance. I checked my phone.

AJ

Meet you at the car.

“Oh, Lucky’s riding with me,” Carlos called, halfway out of the locker room.

“Great,” I chuckled. Carlos was really into the whole imaginary cat thing.

We got into Jonas’ SUV in the parking garage. AJ slid into the car wearing a custom suit, expensive shoes, and sunglasses nestled in his dark and wavy hair, like the international man of mystery he was.

“Good game.” He fist-bumped all of us.

Mine was lackluster.

“What’s wrong?” AJ’s vetiver scent soured with worry.

As we drove, I filled him in on what the Royces had told me. Dean added what he’d overhead the other day.

AJ shot me a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry. I’ll see what I can do, but we can’t get around the residency requirement. Call your agent?”

“He’s the one who told me all this.” I leaned into him. We’d been through a lot together.

“Should I see if I can find Airplane Girl?” Jonas added from the driver’s seat.

“Airplane Girl? What does your finals hookup have to do with this?” AJ scowled.

“I won that game for us.” I never wanted them to think that some random girl motivated me more than they had.

Dean reached over and squeezed my hand. “I know. It’s just us superstitious hockey players. Got to keep that luck going anyway we can.”

“What will you do if you find her?” Jonas asked as we drove through the dark, busy streets. Many people in the city took public transportation, but we preferred to drive. Though AJ often took the metro.

“I don’t know.” Fuck her long and hard. Memories of me fisting her on the plane assaulted me. She’d been a responsive little treat.

“Get my sweatshirt back,” Dean joked.

Always with the sweatshirt.

“We’re finding her? I don’t know if I like that idea. She didn’t reach out for a reason.” AJ’s forehead furrowed.

“What if I can’t find her because she’s dead? They were so angry with her. She snuck out the window to get on that plane.” Panic rose inside me.

“Hey, hey, easy,” Jonas soothed as he drove. “We’ll find her if that’s what you want. Right, AJ?”

AJ’s eyebrows rose. I understood his wariness. We were athletes. She could be anyone.

“I’d like to find her. She smelled amazing, and it affected me very differently than Dean,” I admitted, remembering what I told her about taking her back to the hotel and fucking her. Would she want me to? Even after all this time, if she asked me, I would.

Oh, I would. After the plane ride, her scent teased me for days.

She haunted my dreams for months.

Still, things were different now. While I’d been away, Dean had no problem with me taking care of business . Not that I ever really did. Now we were married.

Though, AJ and I were hardly exclusive. Also, he’d put the brakes on our relationship until we got the pack contract.

“You can be attracted to more than one person. I don’t see why you couldn’t find her and go from there.” Dean squeezed my hand again. “Honestly, I want to meet the person who brings out such a reaction in you that you fisted her on a plane under a blanket.”

“You actually felt something for her?” Hurt dripped from AJ’s voice. “We have to be so careful. Not only about fame seekers and gold diggers.”

“I know.” I sighed.

AJ had been there the night I took so many blockers I’d poisoned myself and nearly died. I’d been terrified of being outed as an omega after it had happened to Dean. Also, I sort of hoped to get rid of my omega. I’d never wanted it anyway.

I still continued to take heavy-duty blockers and suppressants. Mostly illegal shit that wouldn’t show up on team drug tests.

Sure, Dean took suppressants so he wouldn’t go into heat during the season. Also, scent-blockers when he played so he wouldn’t distract the other team. But mine were different. Harsher. They locked my omega down so I could continue to pretend I was a beta.

One reason no one ever suspected I was an omega was that once I presented, I’d hid it.

“She’s a beta ? ” Jonas glanced at me in the rearview mirror.

“Well, she’s a little tall to be an omega,” I smirked.

“I support this. Does she like to share?” Dean gave me a lusty wink.

Would she? Verity might not even like me that way. I was simply someone to soothe a shitty day. Oh, how I hoped she’d worked everything out.

Jonas shook his head. “Let’s find her first. While I want to be supportive, AJ’s right. We need to be careful.”

AJ’s brows furrowed. “Also, a connection doesn’t mean it will give you whatever boost you’re looking for.”

“True. What else can I do to stay on the team other than train harder?” I raked a hand through my hair.

“You’ve been pushing yourself hard,” Jonas replied as we pulled into the parking garage. “Don’t hurt yourself and end up on the injured list.”

AJ grimaced again. “Yes, let’s not do that.”

“I have to do something. I can’t leave you again.” My chest grew tight.

“We’ll figure it out,” Jonas soothed, parking his car. “Let’s go have a drink. After a game like that, we deserve it.”