Finding the Forward, Part One (HockeyVerse)

Chapter Fifteen

AJ

D ean sent me a video of him stuffing a roll in his mouth at the function he, Jonas, and Grif were at. I sat in my office working. A few people were still here–mostly those who dealt with foreign markets. Darkness had fallen, and I should head home.

Sometimes I’d rather stay and work than be in an empty house. Though Grif being with us was such a relief. I could only plan so many business trips to visit him without my work getting suspicious. Still, during the season they had such busy schedules that if I didn’t live with them, I’d never see them.

Me

Feel like ditching so we can put together a puzzle and eat noodles?

I was mostly joking. Grif hated the social aspects of being a hockey player–like going out with the team, things for the press, parties, and sponsor functions.

Grif

Not at the thing. I’ll get us a new puzzle if you get empanadas? Not feeling noodly.

Me

Done.

I’d had noodles for lunch anyway. Closing my laptop, I shoved it in my bag, elation shooting through me. Puzzle night with Grif? Sold. Usually, I only got those in the off-season. We’d started them back when we were broke players on the Tsunamis, the Hurricanes’ farm team. We’d continued it when we’d moved up to the Hurricanes.

Then I spent one summer with the three of them and realized what I had been missing all my life. Even though I had zero romantic interest in Dean and Jonas, we clicked. They were my pack. End of story. Jonas made a good sparring and video game partner. He’d also watch fútbol games with me. Dean and I discussed art and sailing.

With the four of us, puzzle night turned into game night. When my dad sent my ass to business school after the Hurricanes cut me because of my injuries, I’d ended up in the same city as Dean. The persuasive omega moved me into his place and wouldn’t let me leave, citing he felt safe with me there. At Dean’s, game night became movie night.

After graduation, I’d only been in New York for a few months when Jonas got traded to the Knights from the Lightning Bugs. Not long after, that asshole outed Dean. That disaster ended in Jonas mating Dean and Dean becoming a Knight. So, I’d opened my home to them until they figured things out.

They never left, and the game nights restarted.

But I missed those puzzle nights with only Grif.

I got empanadas and headed home. I’d rather eat good food from some hole-in-the-wall place than be seen at a top place. That didn’t mean I didn’t appreciate fine things and good food–I’d just rather do it for myself rather than because others expected it of me. Something my parents didn’t understand.

The living room, dining room, and kitchen of our penthouse had an open floor plan. I’d gotten this the hard way–a graduation gift from my parents when I’d finished business school. They’d hoped now that I had that hockey nonsense out of my system, an advanced degree, and a good job, that I’d find a pack and settle down .

Now, here we were, so very close to being able to file the forms to become a pack. While I didn’t want to push Grif, I yearned for an actual relationship with him.

But I waited patiently for him to be ready. Because I loved him.

“Hey.” I took off my coat and suit jacket, and hung them in the closet, putting my shoes on the rack by the door.

“Hey.” A bottle of vodka sat on the table next to the puzzle box. Grif, who wore workout pants and a T-shirt, was spreading all the pieces out on one side of the glass dining room table.

I put the food on the counter. A white pharmacy bag sat there, too.

“Go change, and we’ll get started?” He looked up and smiled at me.

That smile could make the worst day better.

“Absolutely.” I went to my room and quickly hung up my suit and changed. In public, I always looked polished–anything less would be unacceptable to my family. Personally, I’d rather be comfortable than stylish. Something I gladly did here at home.

I came back out in sweats and a Hurricanes T-shirt. A frown tugged at my lips. Something about Grif’s smell and posture wasn’t right.

“What’s wrong?” I hugged him from behind. Would it be wrong to hope that Airplane Girl dumped him? He was playing fine now and didn’t need her anymore.

“I went to the doctor this afternoon.” Grif drank directly out of the bottle of vodka.

“Like the team doc?” I frowned and hugged him tighter.

Grif didn’t have a personal physician and carefully cultivated an I don’t like doctors persona. One wrong test, one inquisitive doctor, could reveal that he wasn’t a beta.

“The special doc Dean found for me that sees hidden omegas and helps them get legal blockers and suppressants.” He made a face and took another pull from the bottle.

Oh right. Considering the issues Grif had over the years with illegal blockers, I considered it a good risk.

“Didn’t you already see her over the summer and get your prescriptions? Let’s eat, and you can tell me about it.” Letting go of him, I brought the food over to the puzzle-free side of the table.

Grif opened the box and snatched an empanada off the top. “I had to go in for a refill and got forced into a checkup.”

That would be the white bag. I got plates, silverware, and glasses of water and put them on the table. “Didn’t you get a refill recently?”

“I’ve been going through them faster than they think I should.” He sighed and polished the empanada off in a couple of bites.

“Grif.” Concern etched my voice. Part of the argument of using legal blockers was getting something tailored to his size instead of him taking three or four of the ones he bought illegally.

Not to mention, the illegal ones weren’t always pure. Back when we were with the Tsunamis, he’d gotten a bad batch. That’s how I’d learned his secret—he needed my help and trusted me.

“What if they don’t work? You know what will happen if people find out. My career will be over, and I’m not ready.” Pain colored his voice, and it wrenched my heart.

“I know.” As someone whose hockey career ended too soon, I understood.

He took another from the box. “I know I shouldn’t take more than the recommended dosage, but the risks...”

“Maybe carry a backup?” I fought the urge to haul him on the couch and cuddle him until he wasn’t sad anymore.

Another reason I was against Airplane Girl. She was an alpha . Grif and I had been waiting because he didn’t want to deal with his omega. Alphas could wake up omegas. While it was bound to happen eventually, it was the double standard that got me.

I longed to be his alpha with the very fiber of my being. We weren’t soulmates, but he was the one . Mine.

“They made me do some tests, and they’re worried about my kidneys.” He finished off another empanada.

“They were worried about your kidneys years ago.” I took a bite of mine. He was lucky that overdosing didn’t make it so he could never take them again.

Or die.

That day I’d walked into his place to surprise him only to discover he’d overdosed on blockers, I’d been so scared for him I’d nearly said fuck it to his secret.

“They want to do more tests. She also wants me to go without them in the off-season. If anyone knew I went into heat, or got a whiff of perfume, it could ruin everything. Not to mention the last time I tried was a painful disaster.” Grif winced, getting all worked up. His eyes pleaded with me as his scent soured.

You being with her could do the same thing. Why didn’t he see it?

But she made him happy. Me bringing it up made me the tool that didn’t want him to be happy.

I wanted him to be happy. With me.

“I know. But your health is worth it. Best-case scenario, nothing happens and we know you don’t need to be as diligent. Worst-case scenario, we hole up in the cabin and I work remotely for a couple of months and just drive back when necessary for meetings.” Nuzzling his neck, I inhaled his soothing rain scent.

Dean’s grandparents had given him a lovely little cabin in the mountains. We spent a bulk of the off-season there, and where we went for Dean’s heats.

“I don’t know. I’d still have to train in the off-season. Someone might figure it out.” Grif leaned into me, eyes closing.

“It’s a lot to think about. I’m here and you have options. I’ll support you in whatever you decide.” Stroking his hair, I purred to calm him down. He didn’t fit on my lap the way some tiny delicate omega would, but I didn’t want one of those.

“Thank you. I miss this so much.” Grif sighed, as the tension drained out of his body.

“I do too. Hey, I’m here. You need a hug? I’m here. You want to talk? I’m here. You just want to exist together? I’m here. Promise. We could always watch a movie instead of putting together a puzzle?” I wanted to snuggle with him.

“What? And miss getting drunk?” Grif grabbed the bottle of vodka and waggled it at me. Our version of puzzle night might be a drinking game.

His phone beeped a couple of times as we put together the seascape. Grif would look at his phone, smile, then reply.

“Dean’s having that much fun?” I flipped over my piece and tried to find its place before the timer ended. If I didn’t, I had to drink.

“It’s Verity,” he said hesitantly.

“Oh.” Of course it was. My mood darkened. The timer ran out before I could find the piece’s place. Grabbing the bottle, I took a long drink.

“I can’t wait for you to meet her. She’s great.” Grif took a piece and immediately found a place for it. Smirking, he flipped the timer over.

“Work’s just so busy right now.” I kept my tone neutral because I had no interest in meeting her.

“Work’s always busy. You’ll love her.” He looked at his phone and laughed.

Inwardly, I glowered. Nope. Not interested.

“Should we watch that movie now? We’ll finish the puzzle later?” I suggested. Then we couldn’t talk about her.

“Sure. We’ll finish it later.” Grif smiled at me shyly. “Honestly, I could really use some snuggles.”

“Done.” Bottle of vodka in hand, we settled on the couch for a movie, him using me like a pillow, like always.

This was exactly what I wanted. What I needed. Snuggles with my omega. The love of my life.

No silly woman would take this from me. Ever.