Finding the Forward, Part One (HockeyVerse)

Chapter Fifty

Dean

D elightful, cozy warmth enveloped me. Not only because I was snuggled under the covers of my bed with my husband, but someone must have turned up the heat. Maybe Grif had. I felt him get up at some point. All those seasons of temperate winters with the Hurricanes had made him soft.

Grif slept next to me in my bed, looking all adorable and peaceful. This. This was everything. He always spent Christmas Eve with me, even when we played for different teams. I didn’t care how much that ticket cost, and some years he went to great lengths to get to me.

I loved the holidays. The cold weather. The decorations. Getting all together.

Growing up, Grif would often spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with me. After presents and a lush breakfast, we’d drop him off. Usually, just as everyone was getting up. It was a sleep-in day for them.

Now, here we were. On the same team. Married. Soon our pack application would be approved and we’d formally be pack Lune Noire.

While I should wake Grif up, I relished being snug in bed with him for a little longer.

Yesterday afternoon, the four of us had taken the ultra-bullet to Boston to see my parents for Christmas Eve. We came back to light up the fireplace, sing around Grif’s new piano, and watch a movie while drinking eggnog and eating cookies.

We had to return to Boston today for lunch and a snowball fight with Grif’s family. Grif was excited because Sissy and her pack would be there. Then we’d make a quick stop at the children’s hospital to bring some presents and see my parents again for our usual Christmas dinner. Tomorrow, we’d drive out for a fun afternoon at AJ’s sister’s farm.

Sure, it was a little busy. But that’s how Grif and I liked it. Jonas and AJ didn’t really care as long as they were with us. Jonas’ sister would come out in a few days for a visit. She taught at a boarding school and was in charge of the holiday dinner for those who didn’t go home.

Festivities aside, I missed Verity. From the pictures, she was having a great time. Still, I worried about my little alpha, her research, not getting enough rest. I sent her a text, then gazed back at the love of my life.

“Gumdrop, guess what day it is?” I kissed his cheek.

“Circuit training day,” he muttered, eyes still closed.

“I hope not.” My kisses trailed across his bare shoulder. “I think it’s sleep in, trade presents, and eat too much food day.”

Like most of the nation, we didn’t care about the holiday’s religious roots, we just wanted to sleep in, eat food, and see the people we loved.

And put up entirely too many decorations. Also buy matching pajamas.

“Presents? I knew I was supposed to do something, Jellybean,” he murmured, leaning into me.

“So you don’t want yours?” I laid my head on his chest, enjoying this luscious, decadent cuddle.

Early on, we’d made rules for gift-giving. One gift–and while it didn’t have to be homemade, you couldn’t spend any money. Barter was allowed. Later, we’d added a present that was a book, puzzle, or game and one that while you could spend money on, had to be thoughtful.

The latter two we now did all together. We also ‘drew stockings’, with each one of us getting a name and filling a stocking. This year, I had AJ.

But that first present was still only me and Grif, in bed, first thing.

Over the years, I’d gotten a number of amazing gifts, including compositions and jam-swirled bread in the shape of a star.

“Mmmm, you’re my present. I’m married to you, after all these years. What else do I need?” Grif play-tackled me and kissed my collarbone.

Oh, I knew exactly what he needed. It had been so fucking hard keeping the secret, too.

“While I very much want some of that, husband, we should exchange presents before AJ wakes us up for breakfast.” I kissed his neck.

I got out of bed and tossed Grif his pajama pants and pulled on mine. This year we all had blue Nordic print ones. I wasn’t sure if AJ had noticed that they matched the sweater of one of the baby cows Verity had gotten him. We used the bathroom and brushed our teeth. I hoped for a big kiss after his present.

“Here’s yours.” I handed him the flat, rectangular parcel as we settled back into bed.

“Thanks, Jellybean.” His red hair hung in his eyes, making him look so like the boy I’d loved for so long. Well, except for the beard.

My mom had done the wrapping. I’d had it sent to her place and got it last night, so I wouldn’t get so excited that I ruined the surprise.

Not like I’d ever done that before.

“Dean, what?” He drew his finger over the gold writing on the black folder. Boston Institute of Technology. Grif sucked in a sharp breath as he opened it. A piece of calligraphed parchment lay nestled in little paper corners against the folder.

Let it be known that on this day, having successfully completed his course of study, Griffin Patrick McGraff has been conferred a Bachelor of Science in Music from the Boston Institute of Technology.

Tears pricked his eyes as he looked up at me. His hands shook so hard, the folder dropped to the bed. “How?”

My lips brushed across his face, kissing away the tears. “I’ve known about the rule change for music majors for months. My dad told me. I used his influence to petition on your behalf and get it expedited. You’re the very first recipient under the new rule.”

He had enough units, he just didn’t meet that one requirement.

Sitting back on my heels, I gave him an expectant look, my belly full of nerves. “I hope I didn’t overstep. To me, your worth can’t be tied to any piece of paper. No one in this pack thinks less of you. But I know how much it weighs on you that you didn’t graduate because someone thought making music majors take advanced calculus was a great idea.”

Grif’s hand went to the back of my head as he pressed his face against mine. He tasted of toothpaste. Warmth rushed over me as his lips crushed mine, his beard scratching softly against my jaw. His hand rubbed my bare back. He pulled me to him, holding me tightly.

“Thank you. This... this is everything.” His green eyes glistened.

“I love you so much, Gumdrop. You should call some of those places back that want you to conduct. We’ll support you one hundred percent,” I told him. It would be good for him to get back into music. It always brought him so much joy.

“I’ve already looked into a few. AJ’s been helping,” he told me, face still in my shoulder. “Now my present is dumb.”

I tilted his head up and kissed him. “There are no dumb presents.”

That was part of the promise.

He handed me a flat and rectangular parcel. I unwrapped it and inhaled sharply. Someone had oil-painted the two of us, as tiny children, in our jerseys on the left side. On the right side was us, in our Knights jerseys, in the same pose. In the center was us in our suits at our wedding. Underneath in calligraphy was It’s always been you and the date we were married. It was framed and matted beautifully with little hearts in the corners . I recognized the photos all three vignettes were from.

“Sissy did this? Do I want to know what you had to barter for this?” I admired the three delicate scenes and the artful framing. It was beautiful, and while I was an artist, oil paint was not my medium. His sister had an online business painting things from photographs.

“No. Especially since one of her packmates did the framing, and another did the calligraphy. Do you like it? It’s nothing compared to what you did. I... I have a diploma. I graduated. ” A tear rolled down his face.

I kissed his eyes, then his nose, and finally his mouth. “I love it. We’ll have to find a spot to hang it.”

I loved art–and art of us ? Amazing. At some point, I should have Sissy do one of our pack and hang it over the mantle.

Maybe after we had a little alpha join us.

“Are you up?” AJ called, rapping lightly on the closed door. “Does anyone know what the pan with the towel is? Also, who turned up the heat to tropical?”

Grif got up and opened the door. “You can turn it down. I was afraid they wouldn’t rise. I should put them in the oven.”

Delight bubbled up in me. Warm + rise = bread. “What are you baking?”

His look went sly. “Cinnamon rolls.”

“Griffin McGraff, when did you make cinnamon rolls from scratch?” I asked. They were my favorite and a holiday staple. Growing up, Grif, my mom, and I used to make them together. It was a laborious process.

“I made them last week when you were at that Omega Center holiday thing, then froze them for later. I almost forgot to put them out.” His look grew bashful.

Oh. That was why he’d gotten up in the middle of the night.

AJ stood in the doorway, wearing the PJ pants. “Sounds good. I’ll start the coffee? Jonas is already up.”

“I’ll put the cinnamon rolls in the oven.” Grif gave AJ a shy look. “I hope I didn’t mess up your breakfast plans.”

AJ snaked an arm around him. “There’s always room for cinnamon rolls.”

When I entered Jonas’ room, he’d just gotten out of the shower, tattoos glistening with water. He’d probably gone for a run. I tugged him onto the bed with me, and held him tight, enjoying a moment.

“Hey, did you have a pleasant night with Grif?” He stroked my hair.

“I did. He loved his present, too.” I’d confided in Jonas because I had to tell someone besides my parents.

“Good.” Jonas placed a gentle kiss on my temple. He smelled of soap and moss, his taut, muscular body feeling delightful under mine.

My eyes fell on the spanking bench in the corner. After the events of a couple of days ago, I’d never see it quite the same way. What did she look like on it?

Probably beautiful. Part of me was still a little upset that he hadn’t let me in. You don’t get to see this. Why the fuck not? That was my little alpha.

“Have you heard from her since she’s been gone?” I asked.

I didn’t know if he texted her like the rest of us did. But I didn’t want my alpha to hurt her big heart. Our little alpha had fallen for Jonas. Hard.

“Yes.” He grabbed his phone off the nightstand. “She thinks I like motorcycles.”

I snorted. “You do.”

Jonas and Grif used to have motorcycles, but after Grif broke his leg in a wreck, they’d gotten rid of them. Jonas missed his. Grif now preferred his sports car.

He handed me his phone. There were a bunch of pictures of Verity sitting on motorcycles–all in the same place like she was in someone’s garage. A dirt bike. A sleek street bike. Another with a really long seat. One that looked a lot like Grif’s old one.

In each one she wore some cute outfit or pretty dress, posing like the model she was.

“That is the tiniest motorcycle.” I looked at Verity on a little dark green motorcycle, Mercy squeezed into the sidecar. It looked like a child’s toy. It must be her big sister’s.

“That size and color is custom. Who’d have figured that the Thanukos pack was into motorcycles?” Jonas propped himself up on one elbow. “They were playing dress up or something.”

“Oh fuck, she needs one of those,” I breathed, taking in the next one. “Look at her.”

Verity lounged on a green motorcycle that was nearly identical to the small one, only alpha-sized. She wore a gorgeous black and gold nightie that hiked up her golden thigh and strappy heels.

I texted her on Jonas’ phone that I wanted a picture of her on a motorcycle, too.

“I need one of those. The waiting list is crazy for those fuckers. She looks good on it. Mmmm, her in some leather pants.” Jonas’ expression went wistful.

“I’d ride behind her anytime.” I grinned, imagining what it would feel like to hang on to her as we sped through the streets of New York.

Jonas pulled on his pajama pants so he could match the rest of us. We headed out to the living room. My mouth watered at the smell of baking cinnamon rolls.

We gathered around the table and ate, talking about stupid shit, like a new technique for making snowballs. Grif’s family took snowball fights way too seriously.

AJ’s sister sent him pictures of the mini cows in their hats and sweaters inside his sister’s house with the girls, who’d made stockings for the cows. Grif kept peeking at his phone and grinning.

“Princess sending you nudes?” AJ put more smoked salmon on toast.

What? I wanted nudes.

One tradition AJ brought to us was importing an entire smoked salmon and having it with toast, caviar, creme fraiche, and overpriced champagne for breakfast. There was also an assortment of yogurt, cheeses, meats, fruit, and, of course, Grif’s cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting. Divine.

“Kitten’s complaining since her big sister is really into the holidays compared to how she grew up. No one has ever made her wear matching pajamas before.” Grif laughed. “Or made her get up early. Or covered their yard with inflatable holiday dragons.”

“If I had a yard, I'd cover it with inflatable holiday dragons. I should put some on the deck next year.” I stole his phone, took a picture of us and sent it to her.

Grif

Matching pajamas are not weird.

This is Dean.

Verity

Being shirtless isn’t matching. Not complaining tho.

Oh, she couldn’t see our pants. Whoops. I sent her a closeup of Jonas' chest.

Rolling his eyes, Grif took his phone back. “She’s also grumpy because chai lattes are not a thing in that house and it’s chaotic with everyone there. I found a place there that’s open and delivering this morning. I’m going to send her one.”

Aww.

We finished up and posed for a picture for her in front of the tree, which sparkled with lights and decorations. I sent it to her from my phone.

Me

See? Matching.

Verity

Very Cute.

Me

Why thank you. I had to special order them.

She'd look good in a pair, too. Especially shirtless.

Sitting around the tree, we started with the stockings, as usual. Holiday music played in the background. We opened the stockings together, then had to guess who had us.

Grif’s phone rang with a video call from Verity. He waved it. “Can I? Or should I call her after?”

AJ snatched it out of his hand and answered. “Hey, Princess.”

“Hey, Cow Boy. The shoes are perfect.” She sounded happy.

“Good. One thing I learned after I was injured was that good shoes make an enormous difference,” he told her.

AJ bought her shoes?

Grif took the phone and settled next to me. “Hi, Kitten. Did you get the delivery?”

“That’s why I’m calling. Thank you so much, you’ve made my morning.” She took a sip of the cup she was holding. Verity wore some sort of red onesie with snowflakes on it and sat on a large couch.

“My pleasure, Kitten.” Grif beamed at her.

“Well, apparently there’s a reason we got up so early. Boys, meet Hope. Hopey, this is Dean and Grif.” The phone moved, and leaning against her, half asleep, was a tiny blonde girl with a fluff of tight curls, in the same red onesie. A chubby hand waved.

“The littles came from London?” Grif breathed.

Verity beamed. “All three. Dad and Harry, too. Okay, also Mumsy.”

Of course the queen twatwaffle came.

“I miss you.” I waved at her, then gave a smaller wave to her adorable sister.

“You’ll be okay?” Jonas peered at them over my shoulder.

“Yeah. They’ve got a hotel.” She nodded, hugging her baby sister to her, as she sipped her latte.

Hope was probably preschool age. If I remembered correctly, this was the one who only wanted to fall asleep on a purring chest. I didn’t blame her one bit.

“Who are you talking to? Sweet baby Jesus, Merry Christmas .” Grace edged into the frame, wearing the same PJs. “Hi, boys. Grif, thanks for the breakfast treats.”

Another little face popped up. “Oooh, Verity, your boys are cute .”

“Mmmm, no, because beards ,” a young male voice said, though I didn’t see a face. “Put on a shirt.”

“That’s Chance and Tru,” Verity laughed.

Oh. That was her little brother who lived on the west coast. He’d made it. Tru must be another of the littles.

Hope cocked her head. “I like the blue one, best.”

Jonas grinned. “Why thank you.”

“Oooh, that’s Jonas Soeng. Hi, Jonas!” Chance added, though he was still just a bodiless voice. “You are my favorite.”

“Hi Grif Graf,” a voice yelled in the background.

“That’s Dare. It’s chaos here.” Verity shook her head. Behind her, a child flew through the air.

“Hale, so help me, there’s no tossing of children in the fucking house,” a male voice yelled.

Grace tugged on Hope and Tru’s hands. “Come on, let’s get the cookies decorated.”

Verity talked to us a little longer, various siblings bombing our call.

“I know you have a lot to do today. I just wanted to see you,” she finally told us.

“We love you. See you later.” I blew her a kiss.

“Bye, Sweetheart,” Jonas told her.

AJ took the phone. “Have a good day, Princess.”

“I’ll call you later. Love you,” Giff added, getting the phone from AJ.

“I love you, too.” Her smile brightened, and we ended the call.

We returned to our festivities. Since our gifts had to be meaningful , we had a good time being a little silly. One year, I got a sailboat called the Jellybean, which had a jellybean print sail . We kept it at the cabin. My grandfather had taught Grif and me to sail when we were kids.

This year we’d gotten the practice room with the shrine in it at BosTec actually named after Grif, got AJ a suit and tie with pictures of the cows on it, and made Jonas the sponsor of a charity motorcycle race at the lake by our cabin. Among other silly things.

Grif gave me a bashful look as he handed me a small box.

Inside the box was a key and an address. “Grif, you bought me a house? ”

“Look it up.” Grif handed me his phone.

Wait. That wasn’t the house, was it? I looked it up. My eyes teared as I stared at the phone, heart exploding.

“You bought me the house.” The fact that he remembered, and made good on that childhood promise, meant everything.

“Yeah. I… I’ve been waiting for it to go up for sale for years . We don’t have to live there, but I never forgot that promise I made you, Jellybean.” He pressed his lips to the top of my head.

“You bought me our house.” So many emotions warred inside me. The biggest was that I wanted him to take me to bed. Now.

Tears of happiness streamed down my face.

“I fucking love you. While anywhere I’m with you is home, I’ll never forget how much those stories we made up when we’d walk past it meant to me.” Emotion choked his voice.

“Thank you. I love you, too.” I kissed him long and deep, trying to convey how much him keeping that silly promise meant to me.

“That’s a very cute house,” AJ said, looking at the phone. “Very small. Might make a nice rental.”

We could live there and commute to New York on the ultra-bullet. Or get traded to Boston. It wasn’t pack-sized, but it wasn’t that small. We could add on.

“I’m happy for both of you,” Jonas told us, knowing all about the house and the promise.

“My turn.” AJ handed us each a small box, much like what Grif had given me.

In it was a platinum signet ring, with our pack crest on it. The one I’d designed that we all had as tattoos.

“You got us pack rings,” I breathed, taking it out and putting it on.

“I did. I called in a favor and got our pack application to the front of the line. We’re now officially pack Lune Noire.” AJ beamed, looking relaxed, shirtless and sitting on the floor, without even his phone or fancy watch. Or sunglasses.

“We are?” I tackle-hugged him.

His arms tightened around me. “Yep, we are. Tomorrow, you three can call your agents and get those pack contract negotiations going.”

Grif joined us, as did Jonas, making one gigantic pile of hugs.

A pack. Happiness flooded me. After all these years, all these hardships and trials, the four of us were finally a pack.

Now we were one step closer to the day our little alpha could join us.