Finn (Breakaway Hockey #4)

Chapter Seven

Sammie

G od, I have to get out of here.

I stare at the ceiling as dawn breaks, thin slivers of light streaming through the blinds and illuminating Finn’s bedroom, as well as shedding light on my regret.

Shit.

Finn is next to me in his huge bed, thankfully fast asleep. He held me in his arms for much of the night, until he finally flipped over onto his back, where he is now.

What happened with him turned out to be special and amazing and so much more than I deserve, especially last night.

I knew everything I was getting into, but I had no idea how it’d ultimately make me feel—guilty.

That’s why I turned away from him before we fell asleep. I was good up until then. But when he said I should be cherished, it just hit me that I deserve anything but.

The guilt, the sadness, it all crept back in. I’d had a brief reprieve while experiencing some of the best sex I’ve ever had in my twenty-six years of life.

Too bad it will only happen once.

That was what I decided before I fell asleep.

Luckily, after that decision was made, I slept a sound, dreamless sleep.

Until a few minutes ago, when I woke up and realized where I was.

Regret washed over me, and this need to escape that I have now kicked in.

Sammie, what were you thinking?

Oh, right, I wanted to let go and forget for a while.

You sure did that, huh?

Sad thing is, I can’t even blame it on the alcohol. Though I had a buzz for much of the evening, I never once didn’t know what I was doing.

I wanted Finn.

And I got Finn.

Oh, did I ever.

Now the problem is that, under all this guilt and regret, I want even more. I’d love to get to know him better, as we had such a fun time last night, even before the mind-blowing sex.

I’m still super attracted to him, but I like him even more now as the man he is.

So, yeah, a part of me would love to go out on some dates with him.

And I definitely would like to end up in his bed again.

But none of that can happen, especially not that last one. I don’t deserve Finn or anyone to care about me. And I don’t have any right to feel as good as he made me feel last night.

That’s why I need to escape right the hell now. If he wakes up and wants to go another round, I wouldn’t resist.

I just couldn’t.

So, yeah, girl, let’s go.

Slowly and without trying to create too much of a ruckus, I slide out of his bed.

There’s enough light coming in now through the blinds that it’s easy for me to collect my clothes.

Problem is, only half of them are up here in the bedroom. The rest are downstairs in the entertainment room.

That means there will be a delay in making my escape.

Quickly and silently, I slip on my panties, boy shorts, and skirt.

With one final glance at the sleeping gorgeous man whom I need to let go for good, I sigh.

And then I slip out of his bedroom and hustle down the stairs.

In the entertainment room, I turn on a lamp by the bar. That’s enough for me to locate where the rest of my shit is.

As fast as I can, I gather my bra, blouse, and boots.

And then, as I put everything on, one lone sob escapes me.

Damn, reality is hitting me hard.

And it hurts.

Once I’m fully dressed in my Boots outfit, I pick up my purse from the floor by the sofa and make sure my phone is inside.

It is, so I race out of the room, leaving behind the memories Finn and I made in there.

Thank God I drove myself to his house last night, as I’m able to walk straight out the door and to my car.

Once inside my Honda, I press the button to start it.

“Goodbye, Finn,” I murmur.

I turn around by the garages, and then head down the long driveway, as what might have been, but can never be, fades away in the rearview mirror.