Finn (Breakaway Hockey #4)

Chapter Twenty-One

Sammie

H e says he’ll always be my friend no matter what.

He says he’ll be anything I want him to be.

I want him to be mine.

I want him to love me the way I love him.

But he has to know my deepest, darkest secret before we can ever move forward.

So, I’m finally going to do it—I’m about to tell Finn everything. I’m going to share the secret of that awful night so long ago and how it haunts me, how it makes me the way I am.

I hope he doesn’t end up hating me in the end.

But if he does, I want to feel his lips on mine one last time. I’ll forever have that as our final memory.

After he tells me he’ll do anything for me, I say, “Kiss me, Finn.”

There’s confusion in his eyes, but only for a few beats.

Then his lips are on mine.

God, it’s been so long.

How have I not let this man kiss me in three months?

I forgot how amazing his kisses are—gentle but demanding, hot but sweet.

I melt into him and just let myself feel .

My body reacts, and I let out a little moan into his mouth. I’m about to lose focus and just say, “Fuck it, forget about us talking.”

But it’s like Finn knows how important this step is and how it needs to be taken.

His kisses slow down and then stop.

He presses his forehead to mine, but I keep my eyes closed.

He sighs and places a tiny kiss on the tip of my nose, then one on each cheek, and finally a chaste peck on my mouth.

I open my eyes, and I see so much caring in his that I know I can do this.

Stepping back and taking my hand, he says, “Come on. Let’s go back inside.”

We do, discarding our coats and boots by the door.

Finn takes my hand again and leads us back over to the fireplace.

The fire has died down some, so he has to release my hand in order to add more logs and stoke the flames back to life.

Once the fire is roaring again and oh-so-warm, he takes both my hands into his and has me face him.

“Are you ready to tell me whatever it is you want me to know?” he asks.

I nod. “Yes.”

“Okay, let’s sit.”

Still holding hands, we settle on to the rug on the floor, like we were before, but this time we’re facing each other.

This is it.

This is my moment.

Blowing out one long breath, I begin. “When I was sixteen, something bad happened, Finn. It was and still is the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. I blame myself. I could have made different choices, and it never would have occurred. But I didn’t, and so it did.”

Looking worried, Finn asks, “What in the hell happened, Sammie?”

There’s no other way to put it than just to blurt out the truth.

So I do.

“I killed my little sister.”