First Surrender (Chance Encounters #3)

Chapter Twenty-One

Natalie

I settle into the unforgiving wooden bench like I have every time that I’ve been in this damn courtroom, adjusting to the cool lacquer under my fingertips, and forcing my wound-tight muscles to relax.

I’m not much of a prayer warrior but I’ve spent all morning hoping like hell that something will go in my favor and I’ll learn that Declan is staying in jail. Or better yet, being sentenced to life in prison.

That won’t happen but I’ll plead with the universe regardless.

Declan’s posse arrives and I ignore them. I don’t have the energy to deal with their shit today. When the prosecutor and the defense lawyer get settled, I know Declan will be led out soon. My back stays tight with tension preparing to see him.

I have beef with most men I encounter and obviously can’t stand Jackson, but I’ve never hated anyone more than I hate Declan Randolph. He will forever be the worst person who has ever entered my life. The only reason that I don’t wish that he was never born is because I have Dec. Dec is the one good thing that Declan and my mother’s sham marriage ever did.

Judge Reisner enters and the deputy asks us to rise but as usual, the judge quickly seats us again. In that minute gap of time that my butt leaves the bench I peek over my shoulder to see if Jackson is in the back row.

He isn’t.

I assumed he’d be here as he has the last handful of times but it doesn’t matter. I’ll stake a claim on this side of the room, being the only advocate for justice and the only person who truly cares to see Declan Randolph rot.

The proceedings continue and my gut feels increasingly hollow as the judge allows Prosecutor Fulton to update the courtroom on the issue with the Lawson PD detective before he makes his announcement.

Sometime during his spiel, the air shifts. I don’t know how I can tell. There wasn’t a disturbance behind me, no noise to indicate someone had entered the courtroom, yet somehow I know Jackson’s here now.

If I turn my head and look, I guarantee that he’ll be in his usual seat in the back row and his eyes will be on mine as if he anticipates all my movements. Despite the nerves tingling the hairs on the back of my neck, I keep it locked tight and don’t allow myself to turn to confirm if he’s here.

It doesn’t matter if he is or not, it won’t change the outcome that’s about to take place in front of me.

“As of today, the defendant’s charges will be removed. His case is dismissed and in the eyes of the court, he is innocent.” The room erupts. The posse of thugs to my right hip and hooray while I claw at my stomach and try not to puke.

This can’t happen.

All of the willpower in me to overcome whatever comes next drains from my body until I’m lightheaded. The fight to put Declan behind bars was the only thing keeping me going besides Dec.

How can this man get away with murdering my mother?

The tension in my neck uncoils, forcing my attention to the back row without any energy left in me to stop it. The familiar honey eyes are already staring directly at me and the breath stills in my chest. The spot was empty a few minutes ago but I knew I was right.

He’s here.

The defeat and the horror are evident in his gaze. Or maybe it’s a projection of my own inner turmoil, I don’t know.

“Order, order.” The judge pounds his gavel ordering the room to quiet and I have to force myself to turn back to the front of the courtroom, slowly tearing my stare from Jackson’s until I’m locking eyes with the monster who killed my mother.

Then Declan winks at me. The fucker winks.

My stomach fills with acid and I think I’m going to be sick. All I can do is sit painfully still and breathe through it.

Alongside the noise of the room dying out is an unmistakable one. It’s the creaking of a wooden bench, the jangle of metal, and the rustling of fabric as someone approaches me from behind. The wood creaks again and the same noises happen as the person sits directly behind me.

I don’t need to turn around to confirm who it is. He is always right here. No matter how many times I yell at him, or how mad he gets, he is the only one who keeps showing up for me.

For Dec, I amend it in my head.

I hate that a part of me trusts him. I hate that I know he’s not as bad as the other men in my life.

I hate that he sees me at my worst even though I love seeing him at his.

It’s an endless cycle that ends today.

Declan will be released. There is no reason for Jackson to keep showing up. His involvement, law enforcement’s involvement with him, is over. These courtroom appearances are over.

“Miss Halstead. Are you listening?” The judge calls to me directly. That has never happened before.

“Yes.” There is no way he could hear me as much as he saw my mouth move.

“Mr. Randolph will be a free man and because I understand that you currently have guardianship of his son, Declan Randolph Jr., I assume we’ll be seeing you in family court.”

“What?” My brain isn’t processing what he’s telling me. I feel everyone in the room’s eyes on me, including my “stepfather’s.”

“Declan will be pursuing custody of his son as his rights as his biological father.”

The world is spinning, suddenly.

This can’t happen. He’s going to try to take Dec from me.

“Miss Halstead, I suggest you have your priorities straight and your ducks in a row. You’ll be joining us in court soon. This is me extending a courtesy to you. Obtain a lawyer.

“Mr. Randolph, I hope you learned your lesson during these proceedings. A criminal record will not help you keep custody of your son if that becomes the case. I suggest you stay away from this side of the justice system.”

“Yes, your honor,” Declan replies with false sincerity. He hasn’t learned his lesson. He is not a changed man. He might be wearing a cheap suit instead of a jumpsuit but he is still a criminal.

“Go home, Mr. Randolph. Court dismissed.” The gavel bangs and my shoulders jump.

The pack of men behind Declan break out into celebration again but I do my best to ignore them. My ears are ringing enough that I can’t tell what they’re shouting anyway.

As they all start to file out, Declan stops at the end of my row to stare at me. I sense Jackson standing up from his seat behind me as if the shadow of a mountain blanketed me. Declan’s eyes flick to the giant of a man but return to mine quickly.

“Be seeing you real soon, Nat.” I flinch at his voice. At the nickname.

“Court’s over. Get out,” Jackson snaps. His voice is laced with more malice than he’s ever used against me, and I want to weep.

Declan chuckles, all of his gaggle does, but they ultimately leave. The only two remaining are me and my supposed enemy, bracing his hands on the back of the wooden bench on either side of my shoulders. If his thumbs moved mere centimeters on either side he’d be touching me but the empty space feels like miles.

“Listen to me, Natalie. We’re done playing this game. You and Dec are moving into my house. You are going to get a damn good lawyer and you aren’t going to stress about surviving every damn day. You are going to let me help you. No more paying me back, no more working at that damn coffee shack. Your only focus from here on out is to keep Dec.”

His words are fuzzy in my brain and I know it takes me longer than necessary to process what he’s saying, but he doesn’t rush me. He doesn’t say another word as the minutes tick by.

There are a million reasons that I should protest, a thousand reasons I should scoff in his face, but only one reason has me nodding my head up and down in the hollow silence of this courtroom.

I will do whatever it takes to keep my brother safe and now I know that Jackson will too.