First Surrender (Chance Encounters #3)

Chapter Thirty-Five

Jackson

W e’ve found our new routine. She waits until she thinks I’m asleep at night then sneaks into my room, never resisting when I pull her into my arms, but in the morning as I wake up, emerging from either my bathroom or closet, she’s gone.

During the day I go to work, she cooks, and Dec goes to school. We eat dinner together and then she disappears into her room after Dec goes to bed. I pretend I don’t expect her each night and she pretends it isn’t happening at all.

I welcome her presence and appreciate any bit she gives me, but it’s frustrating that she’s still fighting it because I know how good it will be once she’s all in. Once she feels safe enough to let go of her fears and trust me.

I’m afraid she’ll heal from her heartache and be done with me, the chapter we have together will close. I enjoy our platonic nighttime sleepovers but I don’t want this to be it. I want to give her the life she wants, the Sunday dinners, and the traditions. She deserves it all. So does Dec.

They’re a packaged deal and I’m the one lucking out.

I never realized how alone I was. Even as a kid growing up with a single mom and no siblings, I was used to doing things by myself. Now that I have a taste of family life, I don’t want to give it up. Hell, I want to give Dec a big family. Add on a couple of siblings? Nieces/nephews? Whatever he wants to call them, I’m down.

It would help if Natalie could stand to be around me in the daytime but we’ll get there. Hopefully.

One week after the miscarriage we have our first day in Family Court. Well, Natalie does, I’m only here for support. She sits next to Liv at the table and I sit behind them in the first row.

Judge Reisner is presiding as normal. He’s the only judge in the county for Adult, Juvenile, and Family court. Declan’s lawyer isn’t anyone I recognize, nor do they look as put-together as Liv. I got her name from Thea and Jesse. Liv is her best friend and one of the best independent lawyers in the state.

“Today we’re only discussing our options, okay? Nothing will be decided in this session. We’ll lay out the information and then decide the best option for Declan Jr.,” Judge Reisner explains and I watch as Natalie’s shoulders shutter at the name. She hates it when people call Dec that.

“Mr. Randolph, what have you done to ensure a good home for your son?”

“My client has an apartment and is currently working in a factory. He is looking forward to bringing Declan home where he belongs.” His lawyer provides his information with very little flourish.

“The apartment that the council is referring to is the same apartment that Dec’s mother died in. Mr. Randolph was not a resident of that home when they lived there and there is no record of him on the lease currently. I checked with the landlord. There is also no substantial work history to confirm that Mr. Randolph will hold down his job permanently or refrain from going back to his less-than-legal income stream. He hasn’t been employed long enough to get a pay stub.” Liv drowns Declan’s lawyer’s points but she’s not done.

“Mr. Randolph did not have a consistent visitation history before Mrs. Halstead’s death and it’s unlikely that he knows basic information about his son, his school, or his medical history. My client has taken care of her brother since his birth. She has been his sole guardian this past year and has maintained a residence for him, ensured his academic success, and allowed the boy to prosper during this difficult time. She is the best choice for custody and I think your honor will see that.”

I should clap. I want to. Liv is worth every penny and we’ve just begun. Natalie’s remained relatively still during the entire monologue but I can tell she’s shaking with nerves.

“That was a very impressive argument Miss Greenwood, but save it for the ruling day. My main concern is the lack of support in Miss Halstead’s corner. She’s young, there seems to be no other living family, and I’m concerned that she might be taking on more than she realizes,” Judge Reisner says.

Declan leans over and whispers something to his lawyer. “We have reason to believe that she’s an irresponsible fit. There has been a suspicious fire at her place of residence and she has moved multiple times since gaining guardianship. There is also reason to believe that she is involved with sex work.”

“Objection.” Liv shoots up out of her seat. “My client is a private cook. Her last five employers are all in the food and beverage industry. My proof and references are labeled in yellow.” She drops the folder on the table to make her point. “That is a farce of an argument.”

“I agree. We’re not throwing around rumors today gentlemen. What is this about the living situation? Where is the boy living?” Reisner asks, gazing over the top of his glasses.

“My client and Dec have been living with a trusted friend.”

“And, who would that be?”

“Me, your honor.” I stand to address the judge directly because he knows me well.

“Ah. I didn’t realize you were a close friend of the family, Sheriff. Nice to have you here in my courtroom under any circumstance, but if you don’t mind, tell me your involvement.” He motions to Natalie. I don’t know if this is personal curiosity or professional, but I oblige.

“I’ve been friends with Miss Halstead for a few months. I assisted when the fire that was ruled as arson condemned their apartment. The arson was investigated and none of the evidence points to Miss Halstead. You can trust that Dec’s well-being is a top priority for me.”

“Ah, I see.” He eyes me knowingly but doesn’t question me further.

“Miss Halstead, are you sure you’re ready to be the custodial parent if it comes to it?”

“Yes, your honor.”

“And, if Mr. Randolph is found to be unfit and something happens to you, have you thought about what happens to him then?”

“Of course, your honor.”

“You don’t have an emergency contact listed on these forms in front of me. What happens in an emergency?”

She hesitates to answer. I am screaming at her in my head to pick me, choose me, but she needs to come to that conclusion on her own. Liv leans in to say something to her and Natalie nods.

She turns to look at me briefly as Liv confirms that the emergency contact sheet with my information has already been added to the folder she brought today.

The folder was created way before this hearing started. My name was already listed. I breathe a sigh of relief.

I don’t know what comes next for us or if there is an us, but she trusts me with her brother. That is the biggest honor she could ever give me.

* * *

Me: Going to be home late, sorry sweetheart

Natalie: I’ll leave a plate of food in the fridge

* * *

After the custody hearing, I went back to work for the afternoon but it turned into a hellish day. When I drag myself through the front door into the dark house, I consider stopping in the kitchen to eat, but there’s only one thing I want.

I head straight into my room but hit the brakes as soon as I see an empty bed. That’s not what I wanted.

My shirt and pants are tossed off to the side and I resume my mission. A few quick steps to an unlocked door, and my arms are lifting the pain-in-the-ass woman who won’t get the hint. I want her in my bed, dammit. Even if I’m not here.

“I wasn’t sure…” she utters softly. There isn’t a hint of sleepiness in her voice, she was lying wide awake because she was too stubborn to go to sleep in my room and give away that she wants to be there too.

“Always my bed, fireball.”

“Don’t call me that.” She yawns.

“Go to sleep.” I situate us on the bed and before I can pull her to me, she’s laying her head on my chest, and draping her leg over my thighs. I needed this desperately after today.

Thomas Jameson was found shanked in his cell.

I spent hours at the jail trying to make sense of what happened and there are still no answers. No guards witnessed it, no cameras picked it up, and as usual, none of the inmates were speaking.

Thomas Jameson was killed, but I don’t know by who. My mess of a county just got messier and I’m doing a terrible job of cleaning it up. Mrs. Porter’s son could probably do just as well, might as well pass off the reins.

Natalie’s sleepy sigh snaps me out of my spiraling thoughts and I hold her closer, kissing the top of her head. She’d tell me to get the fuck over myself if she heard my pity party, so I take her assumed advice and shove my problems aside until morning.

When I wake up, a short six hours later, she’s still in my arms but we’ve maneuvered into a spooning position. Every morning I wake up as hard as steel but this morning my cock is pressed directly against her ass and for the life of me I can’t move. I don’t want to resume my problems, I want to stay right here and soak in the feeling of her body against mine.

So, I do for a while. I cuddle with this sweet woman who has fire in her soul and love in her broken heart, wishing she might spare some for me one day so I can heal it. I memorize the way her curves feel against me and how her hair smells, hoping each day we wake up like this won’t be the last.

A shrill noise sounds from down the hall and she groans awake, stretching haphazardly and grinding her backside into me further making my teeth clench. It’s bliss and agony at the same time.

“That’s my phone alarm,” she grumbles. Her phone is still in her room, not making the journey during my abduction of her last night.

“Do you want me to get it?”

“No, I need to get up. I have to get ready for Dec’s party.”

Shit. “I need to tie up a few things at work this morning, but if you need me I can stay,” I offer.

“On a Saturday?”

“Yeah, yesterday was a rough one. I probably would have worked through the night but-” I stop midsentence, not wanting to finish my thought.

“But, you didn’t want me to be alone,” she assumes, correctly, with a defeated sigh.

“I wanted to come home to you,” I insist.

Her alarm is still going off down the hall as she scoots off the bed and away from me. “The party is at 4:00 if you can make it. If not, no biggy.”

No biggy. Why can’t she just tell me that she wants me there?

Because she wouldn’t risk the disappointment if I didn’t show.